In Search of Lost Time
by julesgriffith
Summary: An alternate reality of Michaela and Sully, if time had not been on their side.
1. Chapter 1

**In Search Of Lost Time**

**Author's Note:** Some of the ages of the characters may not be exactly accurate with what was written on the show, but to fit in with the timeline I am going for, use your imagination. The time and setting are basically a decade and some change before the show actually started. Michaela and Sully's characterizations are slightly different than usual, basically because I truly feel if things hadn't turned out the way they did on the show, both of them would be very, very changed people. I am also not following the storyline of the show.

_**By Jules**_

Chapter 1

_**May 1860**_

She had really done it. As the early morning light began to peek over the passing farmland of Missouri, the young woman curled closer to the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of this strange land that was so foreign from the cobblestones and mausoleums of her hometown of Boston. But Boston wasn't to be her home anymore. It wasn't to be their home. Dr. Michaela Quinn shifted again, turning to look at the sleeping form of her fiancé, Dr. David Lewis. She smiled and touched the side of his cheek, ignoring the lump in her throat, ignoring the memory of her mother crying and the look in her father's eyes as she defied their wishes. But her father's words wouldn't go away, and she could hear his pleadings just as if he were sitting next to her.

"_Mike, look at me. Look at me! I know you think you love him. Of course you do. He's the only man you've ever courted. That's probably my fault. I didn't encourage you to meet other people, instead, I dragged you along with me on my rounds. But sweetheart, I want more for you."_

"_I can't stay here. I love you, but I can't be here with you."_

"_No Michaela!" he said hoarsely, shaking them both as he used her given name. "I've never once seen you laugh with him! I don't believe he'll be able to give you the freedom you need—" _

_Michaela couldn't listen to anymore. She turned from her father and ran up to her room. Her bed had always been a comfort, but not now. Her home was a prison. "David…David will protect me."_

"Michaela?" She jerked as she realized that David was awake and starring at her.

"I'm sorry. I was just—" She lowered her eyes, biting her lip shyly.

"It's alright. I know this is difficult for you. But at least we'll be together this way." He took her gloved hand in his. He had always been comforting to her, especially in the hospital when she didn't always receive the same respect he did. It was as if he always carried her along with him.

She put the brightest smile on her face as she could muster. "So tell me about this little town in Colorado."

"Well, it's called Colorado Springs, and they are in desperate need of a doctor."

"Sully!" the young woman nearly shrieked as she jumped off of the wagon in front of their rustic homestead. "Where are ya, Sully?"

"In the barn, Abby!" he called. Abagail Sully, his young wife, only twenty-two, came bolting through the barn doors. Her raven hair was disheveled, but her eyes were sparkling and her cheeks were rosy against her ivory skin. Sully had to laugh at her childish appearance—as subdued as she could be at times, this was a welcomed surprise.

"Oh Sully, the most wonderful thing in the world has just happened!" She ran into his arms. Sully welcomed the embrace, not really knowing what to make of it. He held her close, but not too close. There was something about his wife that reminded him of glass, and he was always fearful that if he pushed too hard or let her in too much, she would break.

"What is it, Abby? You're shakin'." She pulled back from him, tears glistening in her eyes.

"Sully, I just went over to Charlotte's because she's the only one who seems to know anythin' about this kind of thing, and I've been suspectin'—"

"Suspectin' what?"

"We're gonna have a baby, Sully," she whispered. All the hope in the world rested in her eyes in that single moment, and Sully felt the ground drop out from beneath him.

"A pa? I'm gonna be a pa?" His throat was dry, and all he could do was hold on to her, hold on to the woman in front of him for dear life.

_2 days later_

"Stage coach!" Jake Slicker acknowledged as it passed by into the center of town. Colorado Springs was a quiet mountain town, so the stage coach was a big to do, especially with all the political upheaval going on in the East. Stephen Douglas and Abraham Lincoln were going at it again—this time for president. Jake was away from all that melarky. To him, the beautiful young lady coming out of the stage coach was far more interesting.

"Who in the hell is that?"

"Awe, pick your mouth up off the ground, Jake!" Loren Bray answered, sneaking up beside him. "Haven't you ever seen a woman before?"

"Not one like that." Jake answered matter-of-factly.

"Well, you might as well stop droolin'. Looks like she's got a fella with her."

Suddenly the man with the beautiful young woman approached Jake and Loren, disrupting their assessment of the situation. "Excuse me, gentlemen. I'm Dr. David Lewis and this is my fiancé Michaela Quinn."

"Dr. Michaela Quinn." She held her hand out. Loren and Jake looked at her like she had sprouted horns, and the glazed over look in Jake's eyes suddenly dissipated.

"A woman doctor?"

"Yes, I am."

"You sure this fiancé of yours isn't cuckoo, buddy?"

David sighed and prepared to go into his usual defense mantra of Michaela, "Yes, she is a doctor and we work together. Please show her the same respect as you would show me. Now. We're looking for the Reverend Timothy Johnson."

"Well, you'll find him at the church. It's just down the road and over the bridge," supplied Loren.

"I'm much obliged. Good day, gentleman."

As the couple walked away, Jake and Loren looked after them. "Well, I suppose she can't really hurt anyone. Especially if he's doing all the real doctorin'."

"A nurse never hurt no one. Especially a pretty one." Jake snickered and returned to his barbershop.

Charlotte Cooper opened the door to her bustling boarding house and almost dropped her baby boy out of her arms when she saw the happy couple in front of her. "Oh, Abagail, Sully! I'm so tickled pink for the both of you! I gotta say, for selfish reasons, I hope it's a girl so she can marry my little man Brian here!"

"Oh Charlotte! I think you're thinkin' a little far ahead now!" Abagail giggled, and Sully smiled indulgently behind her. The protective hand around Abagail's waist didn't go unnoticed by Charlotte. She knew she would have to have a talk with him later.

"Now you two come right on in. Dinner is almost ready. Oh! And I have the nicest surprise! There is a new couple in town from Boston. And get this—they are both doctors."

"Even the wife?" Abagail's eyes were wide with disbelief.

"She's his fiancée. Apparently they are waitin' and savin' up to build a homestead before they get married. So she'll be staying her with me. It'll be so good for the two of you to have some young folks to socialize with. Plus, they'll be here for your baby. Just think of that good fortune!"

"Oh Sully…" Sully kissed her forehead. For the first time that day, he felt like he could breathe easier. Doctors. Actual doctors in Colorado Springs. He constantly worried about Abagail, but hopefully these doctors could ease some of the worry and burden he carried every day.

"Ladies, I'll be out back for a bit while you are gettin' everythin' ready." Abagail simply nodded as she took Brian into her arms. Sully smiled as he watched the two of them. She was going to be a fantastic mother.

Michaela sat on the edge of the porch, combing her hair out. She wasn't ready to go inside yet. Charlotte had been quite welcoming, but she couldn't get rid of the knot in the pit of her stomach. Colorado Springs was so different than Boston. What if she couldn't handle it? What if she was only seen as nothing more than David's wife and not a doctor in her own right? He wouldn't let that happen, would he?

Suddenly the door of the porch slammed shut, and she turned around to first see boots and trousers and then a faded white cotton shirt. Then she met his eyes. They were blue, piercing, and what was it? She knew the expression…they weren't sad, but maybe… lost? His skin had a deep tan, obviously long hours of work in the sun, and his hair was long, unkempt. Despite it all, he was extraordinarily handsome. And despite her upbringing and the strict rules her mother had instilled in her where men were concerned, she continued to stare at him.

Her hair was the most beautiful long brown hair he had ever seen. He had seen her combing her hair from behind the screen door, and whether it was curiosity or his unmodified attraction, he did not leave the lady to her solitude. He needed to see her face. And what a face it was—strong, perfect, and her eyes, different shades in the night, leaving her a mystery, her mouth twisted shyly as she looked at him, but she didn't look away, so Sully was left even more confused in those brief moments they shared.

He knelt down beside her and held out his hand. "The new doctor, I'm guessin'?"

Michaela smiled and took his hand. "Dr. Quinn. And you are?"

Lord she was to the point. He couldn't help but smile wryly at her. "Hungry. Let's eat."

**Chapter 2**

"Ma! Ma!" Colleen Cooper tugged eagerly on Charlotte's skirts as her mother washed the dishes after the rather interesting and illuminating dinner. Colleen had been absolutely enthralled with the new lady, with her fancy Boston dress and handsome fiancé. Charlotte could easily see why. The doc was absolutely lovely, but as she watched her through dinner, the young woman seemed quite anxious, looking to her fiancé every time she spoke. Something about it just didn't seem right to Charlotte.

"Ma!" Colleen called again, finally getting Charlotte's attention.

"Yes, sugar?"

"Look what the Doc gave me!" Colleen proudly held her wrist, displaying a delicate charm bracelet, slightly too big for the little girl.

"Well, that's beautiful, Colleen, but it's gonna plum fall off if you ain't careful!"

"I know. I promised the doc that I'd keep it some place special until I was old enough to wear it."

"Now that sounds like a plan, my sweet." Charlotte shook her head as her seven year old pranced away.

"Do you need any help, Charlotte?" A voice came from the kitchen doorway.

"Oh I have it under control, Doc, but you could help keep me company." Michaela walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counters. She knew Charlotte was a kind woman, but she didn't know if she was ready to answer any questions about her personal life.

"So…"

"So, Doc… What should I call ya?"

Michaela looked down for a moment, the sadness that she had tried so hard to hide throughout the day surfacing without warning. She cringed as she her voice break, "My… my father called me Mike."

"Oh… What happened between you?"

"Are you always this good at reading people?"

"Well, I can just tell you need to talk to someone about it. And I'm here."

Her eyes glazed. "He doesn't believe David and I should marry. So I left home, and we haven't spoken since. I'm afraid we never will."

Charlotte dropped her dish towel in the sink, forgetting all about the chores. "Whew. Dr. Lewis must be pretty special for you to give up your family."

"He's the only man I've ever loved—besides my father."

"Didn't you go to parties and dances?"

"I was too busy studying. I met David in medical school, and he just made studying—"

"More interestin'?" Michael blushed at Charlotte's insinuation. Yes, she and David had had stolen kisses here and there, but still, it had always been about the medicine, the work, not nearly as romantic as it seemed to most people, or even her family. What she and David did was important. The work, the people they helped. She thrived being around him, watching him work, diagnosing cases together, and curing illnesses. It was more interesting.

"Well. Let me tell you, Dr. Mike. You need anything during this time, you come to me. Gettin' married isn't somethin' I take lightly. Why, when I think of what Abagail and Sully went through—"

"Are you gossipin' about me, Miss Charlotte?" Abagail walked in the kitchen, her face aglow with amusement.

"Oh Abby, we're just talkin' about the joys of marriage and the objections of parents. You know somethin' about that, doncha?" Charlotte smiled at the young girl. She loved Abagail, but when she thought of how young she was when they got married, she could almost see where Loren was coming from. No one liked to think of that first year.

"Oh Pa! He can just got to Hell for all I'm concerned!" Abagail's face flushed quickly as her temper flared, a habit whenever she talked about her father.

"Abagail!" Charlotte admonished. The young girl never cursed, but when the subject of her father came up, she was quite relentless.

"Oh, I don't care, Charlotte. All he ever does is beat up on Sully. And for what reason? Simply because he married me!" Abagail's neck and face suddenly went from a blood red to a ghostly white as she shook vehemently. Michaela quickly reached up and circled her arms around Abagail's waist. The fit came on fast, but Dr. Mike caught it quickly, her medical skills kicking into high gear.

"Charlotte, do you have anything sweet?" Dr. Mike asked calmly as they slowly sank to the floor of the kitchen. Never did Michaela imagine that her first case would be in the kitchen of the boarding house, but as life always was for her, nothing ever turned out how she planned it.

Charlotte was so shocked, she barely had time to regroup and function for Dr. Mike. She hadn't seen the attack coming, nor would she have known what to do for it if she had.

"Sure, I keep some candies for the kids in the cookie jar—"

"Hurry, Charlotte, and then call David and Sully in here. Fast." Charlotte scrambled to the cookie jar, finding several peppermints. She quickly gave them to Dr. Mike.

Dr. Mike cradled Abagail's head in her lap as the young woman trembled, muffled sobs beginning to escape her tense jaw. "Ok, Abagail. I need open your mouth, and put this peppermint at the back of you tongue."

Abagail moaned, fighting the candy, but finally opened her mouth. "There you go. I've got you. It'll be alright."

David and Sully rushed through the door together. Sully immediately started for Abagail, but David held him back. "What are you doin'!"

"She needs her space, Mr. Sully. Let Michaela do her job."

"But she's pregnant—" Sully protested, hating that he couldn't protect Abagail.

David looked at Sully, understanding. Michaela often put herself in situations that were bigger than her. Physically, she was in perfect health, but he knew it was his job to take care of her at all times. "Don't worry, Mr. Sully. We'll take good care of your wife."

Abagail came to slowly, her eyes going straight to Michaela's. "What happened?"

"I believe you had a diabetic attack. Have you ever had one before?"

"No, but I've fainted several times."

"Have you lost weight recently? And are you often hungry?"

"Yes."

"Then it's probably Gestational."

"I agree," David concurred.

"What does that mean?" Abagail asked, confused by the technical terms.

"It means that the diabetes was brought on by your pregnancy," Michaela said gently.

Sully quickly interjected, "You mean to tell me that this happened because she's going to have a baby?"

"Yes, but we can control it by regulating her diet and monitoring her pregnancy. And usually after the baby is born, the diabetes dissipates."

"So you'll stay with me?" Abagail tightened the grip on Michaela's hand.

"Of course. I promise you, Abagail. I'm going to do everything I can for you and your baby."

Abagail reached up and touched Michaela's cheek. "You're an angel."

"I'm just doing my job."

"Well, I don't care what happened back in Boston," Charlotte proclaimed, finally breathing for the first time since Abagail's attack. "I believe the good lord sent you two here for a reason."

Sully finally walked forward, still shaken as he stared back and forth between the two women, holding tight to each other, one so strong and the other so weak. He knelt down beside them, catching Michaela's eyes first in silent thanks. There was something about her. Perhaps Abby was right. She was their angel.

**Chapter 3**

David descended the boarding house stairs. It was decided that Abagail would stay in town tonight under his and Michaela's care. Well, Michaela's care, the truth be told. After Michaela handled the attack so quickly and professionally, Abagail had put all of her faith and trust in his fiancée, and all David could do was idly observe. Usually it was the other way around. But what was he thinking? He loved this woman. He should be happy for her successes. He should be. Things would be different in Colorado Springs.

As Sully saw the young doctor approaching the door, he stood up from his place in front of the fire. "Hey doc."

"Yes?"

"Thanks again for everything you're doing for my wife."

David smiled through his grimace. "It's Dr. Mike you should be thanking."

"True," Sully peered closely at the man before him, "but I assumed you two were a team."

"A team," David lowered his eyes thoughtfully, "well, I'll be turning in, I believe. Michaela is staying with Abagail tonight, so you needn't worry."

"Goodnight," Sully said, wondering if his read of the doctor could be right.

"Goodnight." As David left the boarding house, Charlotte made her way into the living room.

"Well Sully, you know you're welcome to stay the night," she offered as she put her hand on his tight shoulder. She could feel every muscle in it, and her heart went out to him. Sully had no family besides Abagail, so she always looked on him like another son.

"Thanks Charlotte. I think I might stay down here. Don't know that I want to intrude on the ladies."

"Abagail sure has latched on to Dr. Mike. A friend will be good for her."

"A doctor will be even better."

Charlotte paused and reached for Sully's hand. "Did you have any idea?"

"No. But Abby's always been so delicate and soft. We should have never…" Sully broke off, unable to say it. They had loved each other with such youthful abandon, but when it came to their physical expression of it, he had to be restrained, he learned early on, in order not to hurt her. "And now she's sick… but she wanted the baby so much. You should have seen the look in her eyes."

"I know, Sully. She told me. But Dr. Mike's here. She'll make everything ok."

"I just wish there was something more I could do for her."

"I need to tell ya again, Dr. Mike. I really didn't mean all those horrible things I said about my pa. I was just being… theatrical."

"Theatrical?"

"Yeah. It always got me in trouble with him. We would both start yellin', saying things we didn't mean, cursin' like sailors…" Abagail and Michaela laughed together. It was hard for Michaela to imagine this pretty young woman acting like that, but she had seen the evidence of it the day before.

"Well, I met your father, I believe, when I first stepped off the stagecoach. He didn't take too kindly to the idea of a woman doctor in town."

"Of course he didn't. Pa doesn't like anythin' new."

"Especially Sully?"

"Especially him." Abagail patted the seat next to her on the bed. She hadn't had anyone close to her age to talk to in the longest time, and perhaps it was a little soon, but she innately trusted Michaela. "I was engaged to Martin Anderson. My father absolutely adored him, wanted him to take over the store one day. But Sully came into town, one of those miners, ya know? And we just fell in love, despite everything. He was so strong and passionate and kind, and I had never in my life met anyone like him. But my father was insistent on my marriage to Martin, a man I had only met twice. So…"

"So?" Michaela caught herself quickly. She couldn't justify her excitement in Abagail and Sully's story, but she wanted to know more of their romance.

"Sully stopped the wedding and we eloped." Abagail finished excitedly. Michaela didn't know what to say. Yes, she and David had done almost the same thing, but somehow, it didn't quite seem the same. No. Her stomached tightened. She knew it wasn't the same. "So tell me about you and David."

Michaela lowered her eyes and blushed. "I think it's time you went to sleep, Abagail."

"But…"

"No buts, doctor's orders. We'll talk more tomorrow."

"Alright, Dr. Mike. But on one condition."

"What's that?"

"Please call me Abby."

"Alright. Goodnight Abby."

"Goodnight Dr. Mike."

Michaela descended the stairs, catching the sight of an unexpected fire awaiting her. It was nearly midnight, but she couldn't sleep. Thinking of David's rather cold departure didn't sit well with her. What had she done wrong? He was usually so proud of her when she assisted him in cases. Tea. Yes, she needed some tea.

"Emo'onahe!"

Michaela screamed as a man's hand came up around her mouth and around her waist. She clawed at his hands with her nails and finally uncovered her mouth. "Get your hands off me!"

"Dr. Mike?"

"Sully?" Michaela turned around in his arms and tried to make out his face with only the light of the fire coming from the other side of the room.

"What are you doing sneakin' around this place in the middle of the night?" he whispered harshly, still keeping a firm arm around her waist.

"I live here now, Mr. Sully! And I wasn't sneaking around. I was going to make some tea."

"Well give a man some warnin' next time. I thought you were tryin' to rob the place."

"And I'll thank you to stop manhandling me! You can let go of me now, Mr. Sully!" She pushed against his chest, freeing herself from his arms.

"Well excuse me, Dr. Quinn." Sully felt his blood boiling. Angel his foot. She was a little devil.

They stared at each other, at an impasse. Michaela raised her chin, giving him cold eyes. "Tea, Mr. Sully?"

"Well, since we're bein' all formal now and since I'm up, sure," Sully replied dryly. He followed her into the kitchen, realizing for the first time that she was only in her nightgown and how inappropriate he was just a few minutes ago. As she scurried about the kitchen, searching for things, Sully shook his head, gently grabbed her wrist, stopped her, and said, "Let me."

He didn't really want to apologize just yet, because she really did irritate him with her highfaluting Boston attitude a minute ago, but he could at least make her tea so she could go ahead and get back to bed and leave him in peace.

Michaela watched him work meticulously. Abagail surely must have stars in her eyes when it came to this man. Yes, he was handsome, no denying that, but how irritating could one man be? And how ungentlemanly! She still couldn't quite digest the fact that he had held her…no, that wasn't the right word, manhandled her for so long. David hadn't even… Thank God it was dark so he couldn't see the color of her face.

The silence between them only magnified the sounds of the country around them. Sully watched her eyes as they reacted to a coyote in the distance. What a strange place this must be for her.

She knew he was watching her. Judging her probably. She wasn't scared. She wasn't.

He smiled when he saw the resolve come over her. This woman was indeed different than any he had ever met. As the kettle whistled, their silent examinations ended.

"Here. For you." Sully handed her the mug. Michaela sniffed it curiously, not recognizing the scent.

"What—?" She looked at him warily.

"Try it. You'll like it. Trust me." She sipped it slowly and they walked together back into the living room. Sully nonchalantly went back to his place in front of the fire. He turned back to Michaela to find her standing behind him awkwardly. He didn't know what to make of her. She was bold and fierce one minute, and the next she was incredibly shy and nervous. "Why don't you sit down?"

She guffawed at him. "On the floor?"

"Sure. Why not?"

Because her mother would have a fit. It was incredibly unladylike. But her mother wasn't here, was she? "You're right. Why not."

"Look… I'm sorry I scared ya earlier. And I'm sorry I grabbed ya like that. It wasn't right."

"I accept your apology, Sully. It's nice to know that if I had been a real bugler, we'd all be in good hands." They both smiled, glad the good humor between them had returned. "Can I ask you something though?"

"Sure."

"What did you say when you first… you know… grabbed me? It wasn't English."

Sully looked at the fire, embarrassed. He had hoped she would have forgotten about that. "It's just an expression."

She raised her eyebrows at him, and he knew that wasn't good enough for her. "It's Cheyenne. Emo'onahe."

"And what does it mean?" Michaela pressed.

"Nothing. You wouldn't understand. And I shouldn't have said it. Alright?"

"Alright. I'm sorry. I won't press you."

"Good." They were silent for a moment, until the subject seemed completely dropped. "Look. I want to ask you. I've been meaning to do something special for Abby. Do you have any ideas?"

"Well. What have you never done together that she would really love to do?"

Sully quickly mumbled something under his breath that Michaela couldn't understand. "Excuse me? I didn't understand you."

"I said dance! We've never danced together." Sully put his hand over his eyes.

"Dancing? That's all! Well, why don't you just ask her sometime?" Sully dropped his hands and looked her square in the eye.

He sighed and leaned his head back. "I don't know how."

"Oh good grief! Get up! I'll show you." Michaela jumped up, letting her shawl fall on the ground. She held her arms open to Sully as he stared up at her like she was completely insane.

Sully honestly didn't know what to do. Here was the same woman he had grabbed not twenty minutes earlier, inviting him back into her arms. He had never even thought of touching another woman after he married Abagail. "I don't think so."

"Come on. Anyone can learn to dance." Michaela reached down and pulled his hand until they were standing face to face. "Do it for Abby."

When Michaela mentioned her name, Sully focused and sighed. "What do I do?"

"We'll start with the waltz. It's the easiest. Take my right hand in yours, and put your left hand around my waist." Sully followed gingerly. As he pressed his hand against the small of her back, the cotton nightgown did little to hide her warmth or her figure from him. He pushed those thoughts to the back of his head and focused on her voice as she counted out the steps in a one, two, three pattern. They began to turn slowly around the room as Sully began to get the hang out it, and he could feel a smile spreading to his lips. He tightened his grip on her, and finally began to lead her around the room.

Michaela actually laughed as he spun her right out of the living room and onto the porch. "What are you doing!"

"There's more room out here. Plus we'll have the moonlight."

"You're going to wake up the entire household, Sully!"

"This was your idea, teacher." He let one of her hands go and twirled her around. And for the first time since Michaela had left Boston, the knot in her chest didn't bother her. The time flew by that night, and neither of them would ever really remember who stopped the dance or who said goodnight first. The time was lost to the next day, and they didn't mention the dancing lesson to anyone.

**Chapter 4**

"David!" Michaela had never seen him this excited. He quickly led her out of the boarding house and down the street, past the telegraph office to the empty lot next to it. "David, what are you doing? You're going to pull my arm off!"

"Oh Michaela, I'm sorry, but I just had to show you—"

"Show me what?"

"Where our new clinic is going to be!"

"What? You bought this land?" Michaela spun around, looking at the dusty nothingness.

"Yes, don't you love it, Michaela? I can start building right away, and—"

"But what about our home?" Michaela looked at the empty lot, her stomach tightening once again. "We won't have enough money to build from the ground up twice."

David paused, a hesitancy coming over his dark features. "Well, I was thinking… Couldn't we live above the clinic, near the recovery rooms? We'd always be close to our patients and money wouldn't be so tight."

"I suppose you're right… but I had hoped…" She looked into David's eyes, wishing he would see their future children and the intimate nights sitting by the fire… She suddenly blushed, furious at herself. It wasn't right to think of such things. "Nevermind. You're right. Living above the clinic will be best."

David smiled, unsure of the sudden change in her, but happy she agreed nonetheless. He kissed her forehead. "We're going to be so happy, Michaela."

She pulled away from him, ready to think about anything but where she was going to live for the rest of her life. "I need to go check on Abby. Will you come with me?"

David stiffened. "She's your patient, Michaela."

"But I always help on your cases." Michaela tightened her arms around herself.

"That's different." David knew he was hurting her feelings, but his pride wouldn't let him go. "Go on. I'll see you later tonight."

Michaela simply nodded and walked back towards the boarding house. If she said anything more, she knew she would start crying, and she couldn't let him see that. Getting out to the Sully homestead by herself couldn't be that difficult.

"Are you sure you know how to ride a horse?" Charlotte asked as Michaela impetuously stuck her foot straight through the stirrup of Bongo's saddle.

"Have I ever ridden a horse!" Charlotte cringed as she watched Michaela bounce around in a circle, finally getting her footing back. This was not going to be easy, but the doc was insistent.

"Ok, now up and over. Up and over! Up and over!" Charlotte commanded as Michaela tried to pull herself over, to no avail.

Suddenly out of nowhere, Michaela felt herself almost flying through the air until she was resting firmly on the saddle. She looked down to see none other than Sully's smirking face.

"You're welcome."

"Sully! I was just on my way out to your place!"

"Oh yeah? Abby'll be happy to see ya. How bout I show ya the way?" Sully caressed Bongo's neck and cocked his head to Michaela. "Ready?"

"Of course."

"Alright. Now just give the horse a gentle kick, Dr. Mike—" Michaela kicked him once, but he didn't budge.

"He's not moving, Sully. Maybe I should kick him harder?—" Sully's eyes bulged as he watched Michaela jab hard and thrust into the side of Bongo. Without thinking or letting his fear of horses get the better of him, he grabbed the side of Bongo's main and jumped up on the horse behind Michaela just as the horse broke into a full blown canter.

"Oh my lord!" Charlotte watched the two of the clear out the center of town. If there were ever two people who shouldn't be on a horse together, it was definitely those two. They were going to kill each other!

"Sully! Sully! Stop him!" Michaela screamed as they flew past the General Store, getting the attention of Loren Bray.

"What the hell are you doing, Sully!" he called after them. He already knew that Sully was a no good loser who had stolen his only daughter, but now he was running around town with another woman? Well, he wouldn't stand for that!

"I can't stop him, Dr. Mike!" Sully tightened his hold on her waist as the horse sped up. If they fell off, they would break their necks for sure.

"What!"

"This is my first time to ride!"

Jake ran out of the barbershop, as the pair came barreling by. "What the hell?"

Charlotte and Loren came running down the street behind them, and finally stopped, out of breath. Matthew and Colleen came running from the boarding horse. "Ma! What was that?"

"Dr. Mike just bought her first horse and she kicked him too hard, so Sully jumped up there with her," Charlotte explained, jostling a wide-eyed Brian in her arms.

"What did he do that for? Everyone knows Sully can't ride!" Jake exclaimed.

"I suppose he was tryin' to protect her. The doc was goin' out to the homestead to check on Abagail."

Loren suddenly softened, the anger fading from his face to concern. "What happened to Abby?"

Everyone grew quiet around Loren. He hardly ever mentioned his daughter. Charlotte went to his side and touched his arm. "She had a diabetes attack the other night, Loren. But Dr. Mike knew exactly what to do for her. She's takin' care of her."

"Well… That's good…That's…" Loren turned away, but suddenly turned back. "Maybe we should go after Dr. Mike and Sully? Make sure they're alright?"

"Here! Here! Let's pull on the reigns!" Sully and Michaela were completely tangled up on Bongo, but without talking, he pulled on the right side and she pulled on the left side. "Whoa! Whoa!"

The horse slowed to a trot and eventually, he was walking again. Sully breathed a deep sigh of relief. "We're about a mile away from the homestead now."

"I hope you don't mind that we stick to a walk the rest of the way," Michaela laughed, relieved she was still alive.

"I'll be happy if I never ride a horse again, Dr. Mike."

"Don't say that. Not after all the trouble I went through to get you up here," Michaela said dryly.

"I'd rather dance." Michaela smiled at that comment, agreeing silently.

"So have you yet?"

"Nah. The time hasn't seem right yet," Sully said quietly.

"How's she doing?" Michaela asked tentatively, reading his silence and the loosening of his hand on her waist.

"A little tired, but I think the diet ya got her on is agreein' with her and the baby."

"She's going to be alright, Sully. I'm not going to let anything happen to her." Michaela impulsively put her hand on his. She knew it was wrong making such promises, but she hated seeing him so sad.

Sully smiled and squeezed her hand in return. He didn't know why, but he wanted to believe her.

"What did she do?" David asked, coming upon the crowd that had congregated outside of the boarding house.

"I told ya, David. She was determined to go see Abagail, and she doesn't have the best riding skills, so Sully jumped on the horse behind her, and he doesn't ride at all, so they could both be lying in a ditch somewhere for all we know."

"I should have gone out there with her in the wagon," David chastised himself. "What are we going to do now?"

"Jake and some of the other boys are going to ride out there and check on them. But they better hurry. I'm not sure the weather is gonna hold up and that horse tore outta here like hell on wheels."

"This is it." Sully pointed to the rustic wooden homestead coming into their sightline. He leaned over Michaela's shoulder, trying to see the expression on her face. "What do you think?"

"It's lovely, Sully. You built it yourself?" Michaela turned to answer, not realizing his face was so close. She swallowed and quickly turned back around. In turn, he cleared his throat and called out for Abagail.

Abagail came to the front door, a bright smile on her face upon hearing her husband's voice. When she saw Dr. Mike, her smile spread even wider. "Dr. Mike! Sully? What are you doin' on a horse?"

"It's a long story, sweetheart," Sully laughed, as he haphazardly got off the horse and proceeded to help Dr. Mike off as well.

Michaela approached Abagail, protectively putting her arm around her waist. "How are you feeling?"

"So much better. I've been doin' everythin' you told me to do." Abagail beamed, but Michaela knew Sully was right about Abby. She was much weaker than she let on.

"Well why don't you let me examine you?"

"Sounds just fine. And you'll stay for dinner and tell me all the news in town and all about you and David?"

Michaela glanced to Sully. She didn't know how she would feel talking about David to Abby and Sully. She couldn't get over how different she and Abby were although Michaela knew she couldn't be that much older than her. Abby had a spirit that didn't seem to fit with her body or her life choices. She was so sweet, yet had an excitable nature that obviously got her in trouble.

"Well, I suppose so," Michaela smiled and followed Abagail into the homestead.

"…so I guess we'll be moving in after it's built. Sometime this fall." Michaela supplied as they finished their dinner.

"That sounds lovely, Dr. Mike," Abagail said before taking another bite of stew.

Sully watched as Michaela took a piece of bread and dabbed it over and over again the stew without eating bite. He put down his fork. "Yeah, but is it what ya want?"

Michaela dropped the bread and looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"Well, everythin' you told us was David's idea." Sully looked down, knowing he shouldn't say it, but did anyway, "And you just… You just don't seem real happy about it. That's all."

The table fell silent for a moment as Michaela and Sully stared at each other. Abagail, horribly embarrassed that Sully would imply something like that about her friend, broke the silence and jumped up from the table and began clearing the plates. "Well, of course she's happy about it, Sully. I can't believe ya would even suggest somethin' like that!"

As Abby turned her back, she didn't realize that Michaela and Sully were still fixed on each other. Michaela's eyes had brimmed over with tears. How had he seen that? How could he know what David hadn't? Could he see anything else?

Sully's heart immediately went out to her. He had felt something off between her and David the minute he had met them, but now he knew it was true. He needed to talk to her.

When Abagail came back to the table, she put a firm hand on Sully's shoulder. "I think you owe Dr. Mike an apology."

Sully looked at Abby's pointed expression, and then back to Michaela's lost eyes. He reached for her hand across the table, and she placed it in his. His voice was low, deep, and only Michaela understood the real meaning of his words, "I'm so sorry."

"Good!" Abby smiled, as if everything was right in the world. "Now why don't you take the wagon and get Dr. Mike home? It looks like it's gonna rain soon."

Michaela and Sully rode silently in the wagon. Michaela didn't know what to say to him after he read her so completely. Almost completely. No one had ever been able to do that, with the exception of her father.

Michaela suddenly looked around, not recognizing her surroundings. "I think we missed a turn, Sully."

"Nope. We didn't. I'm just takin' ya to a place that can help." Sully kept her eyes on the road.

"Where are we going? It's going to be dark soon and it could rain any second!" Michaela protested.

"You'll be fine. Trust me."

"We were just on the town road, Abby," Jake argued. "We didn't see them."

"You know how Sully is," Abagail said defensively, "He doesn't always take the road."

"Is Michaela all right?" David asked. "That's all I care about."

"She's fine, Dr. Lewis. Don't you worry. I'm sure she'll be waiting for ya by the time you get back to town."

"Where are we?" Michaela asked in wonderment as she saw the tepees and drumming circles come into view.

"It's the Cheyenne village. Come. I want you to meet a friend of mine." She followed him down the ridge quickly and into a large hut. As Michaela entered, she immediately faced a dark man with a kind face. His eyes found eyes and he held out his hand for hers. Sully was about to speak, but the man silenced him with a decisive wave.

"I have waited many moons to meet you. As I know my brother has." He touched the side of her face. "It will not be easy for you. For you have so much to learn. Evoneše."

The man looked up to Sully. "Emo'onahe."

"Yes. She is."

"Why did you wait so long to bring her to me?" The wise man questioned as he looked between the two of them.

"Cloud Dancin'," Sully said quickly, suddenly embarrassed, "She isn't Abagail."

Cloud Dancing looked back at Michaela, unphased by the mistake. The gods were never wrong, and they told him that she was special. "What is your name?"

"Dr. Michaela Quinn."

"I am a medicine man myself."

Sully walked around the fire and sat next to Michaela, taking her hand. "Cloud Dancin' saved my life once. I was thinkin'… he could do the same for you."

Cloud Dancing watched the exchange between his brother and the medicine woman. No. The spirits were not wrong. He could hear the lightening in the distance. The rain was coming. They wouldn't be going anywhere tonight.

**Chapter 5**

"David, for Pete's sake, sit down! You're gonna put a hole in my floor pacin' up and down so much!" Charlotte sighed heavily as he walked the length of the dining room table.

"She should be back by now. What if she's hurt or lost?" David ran his fingers through his dark locks, now accumulating sweat.

"Ain't she a doctor? And Sully knows this land better than anybody. I'm sure they just stopped to get out of the rain for a bit. Now sit," Charlotte ordered. She didn't know what to make of the young doctor. He had seemed nice enough at first, but he was awfully tense and high-strung in a stressful situation.

"I should have never come back here."

She smiled and shook her head. "And done what? You would get yourself killed lookin' for them."

David flexed his hands on the kitchen table. "I just feel like… I'm not doing enough to take care of her."

Charlotte leaned forward thoughtfully. "Maybe you're lookin' at this all wrong. Maybe you're doing too much in some places and not enough in others. Did you ever ask her what she wanted?"

David looked up, undiplomatically. "I just assumed we wanted the same things—"

"And that's where you're goin' wrong, son. Don't assume. Ask her when she gets home."

Cloud Dancing considered the young medicine woman across the fire. She was beautiful to be sure, but he felt such a heavy weight on her soul. Her place in this world was not yet clear.

"You are to be married?"

"Yes."

"But this troubles you."

Michaela bit her lip nervously. She wasn't use to talking in this manner but found herself stuttering, "My fiancé—David—and I…we see the world differently. We see our futures differently."

"Have you told him your fears?"

"I tried, but then I couldn't. He just didn't see." Michaela turned to Sully, who was beside her, watching her intently.

"It is important you talk. It is the only way you will realize your destiny. Then you must find the strength within yourself to leave or stay with this man." Cloud Dancing said simply. Michaela and Sully were silent as Cloud Dancing stood. He began to exit but stopped himself. He looked penetratingly at them. "What is to come shall be difficult to overcome. Do not let it destroy what you have."

Michaela frowned at his last words. They didn't make any sense. She shivered and immediately felt Sully's hand on her shoulder. "It's alright. Maybe you should get some sleep? We can get goin' by sun up if the rain stops."

Michaela nodded and curled in front of the fire. Sully moved to the opposite side. Her face glowed like amber across the fire, and they watched each other in silence.

"Sully?" Michaela finally whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Why have you never brought Abagail here?" Sully immediately turned on his back, avoiding her eyes. Michaela watched as he breathed deeply for a few seconds, calming himself.

"Abby knows almost nothing of my friendship with the Cheyenne."

"When they are so important to you?" Michaela sat up on her elbows, shocked.

"Loren, his wife Maude, and Abagail were on the stagecoach coming back from St. Louis in '48. Abby was just a little girl. A band of Dog Soldiers hijacked the stagecoach and scalped Maude right in front of Abagail and Loren."

"Dear God," Michaela whispered. "Were they ever caught?"

"Supposedly the law chased 'em North into an Apache village. They slaughtered the village. I don't know if they ever really found the Dog soldiers, but that's how this endless battle goes, Dr. Mike," Sully voice was close to a whisper. Michaela didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry, Sully."

"Abby and I do fine, Dr. Mike. It's just never gonna be like this." Michaela froze at the implications of his words, and she wondered if he even realized what he said. She looked across the fire at his profile, wondering why he came into her life now, wondering who he was supposed to be to her, and wondering what she could even do about it.

As she thought about Abby and what she must have suffered, she realized: the truth was nothing. He had to be nothing.

Michaela could hear a red bird singing in the distance as they came into the outskirts of town. When she woke up in the morning, Sully wasn't sleeping. He was sitting outside the tepee, staring off into space. She knew it was time they returned to town.

Early morning workers were just beginning to open their doors and the streets were almost empty. Sully pulled the wagon in front of Charlotte's boarding house and looked at Michaela for the first time since they began their ride that morning.

"Well."

"Thank you, Sully." Michaela said sincerely. Sully nodded quickly and got out of the wagon. He went around to the other side and held his arms out for her, but didn't look her in the eye.

Michaela reached down and jumped out, not prolonging the time in his arms. Everything had changed last night. There was an unspoken agreement between them now.

"I hope folks weren't too worried about ya."

"It'll be alright. Tell Abby I'm sorry for keeping you out all night."

"She'll understand."

"Goodbye Sully." Sully only nodded, unable to say the words in return. He watched her disappear into the boarding house. He needed to go home. Abby would never understand this. He needed to go home now.

The door slammed and there she was. "Where have you been?"

David exhaled and ran to her, wrapping his arms around her possessively. "Where have you been, Michaela?"

"I-I got caught in the rain, David." He had never held her like this, so fiercely, as if he could lose her at any moment. "I'm fine. Sully was with me."

David's arms tightened on her shoulders and Michaela flinched. "We got to the Sully homestead just after you left. We never saw you on the road. Where did you go?"

She pushed his hands off of his shoulders, walking around to the other side of the table. "We went to the Cheyenne Indian Camp. Sully wanted me to meet the tribal medicine man—"

"An Indian camp? You know nothing of them, Michaela. They could have killed

you—"

"I was perfectly safe, David. And Cloud Dancing is wonderful. He wants to show us some of the local herbs and—"

David leaned across the table. "Do you here yourself? Michaela, you can't run around with Indians whenever you feel like it. People don't accept that!"

Michaela jerked back, slamming her hands down on the table until her face was right in front of his. "You mean you don't accept that! I'm a doctor and plenty of people don't accept that. You never had a problem with it in Boston. What is this really about, David?"

David circled the table until he was standing right in front of her. "Michaela, you can't run around town with a married man! Everyone saw you and Sully yesterday on that horse!"

"If you've forgotten, David, I was going out to his house to check on his wife who is pregnant and who am I treating for diabetes. I asked you to go out there with me, but you refused for reasons that are beyond my comprehension. So I took matters into my own hands and got myself a horse. It's true, I don't know how to ride that well, but I'm not about to let a patient suffer simply because of my pride or lacking as a human being. Sully, who doesn't ride himself, offered to show me the way to his place, but I accidentally kicked the horse too hard. If Sully hadn't jumped on behind me, I could very easily be lying dead in a ditch somewhere. You should be thanking him; not accusing me of God knows what! He's a good person and he would never do anything to dishonor his wife or me!" Michaela panted, her eyes wild, daring David to argue with her.

David rubbed a hand across his face and exhaled. "Are you done?"

Michaela snapped back, "Yes. Are you?"

David nodded, regret in his eyes. He didn't dare mention Sully's name again. As much as he didn't like what had happened, he knew if he pushed the subject, he was sure to lose Michaela forever. It was written all over her face.

"I'm sorry, Michaela. I'm so sorry." He took her in his arms again. "I was thinking… We may have to wait longer, but I know how much you wanted a home of your own. It'll be two more years, but I'd like to build you your dream home. What do you think about that?"

Michaela's face brightened. He could see it—maybe this was really her destiny. Maybe she was making the right decision after all.

"Sully?" Abagail sat up in the bed as he gently shut the door. "Where have ya been?"

Sully came to sit on the edge of the bed. "Dr. Mike and I got stuck in the rain. We had to take cover for the night."

Abby lowered her eyes and laid back down in the bed, turning her back to him. "Oh."

Sully put a hand on her lower back and massaged it. "You understand?"

"You didn't take the town road," she whispered.

"Nope," he sighed.

Abby pulled the covers up tighter around her neck. "You like her, don't ya?"

Sully swallowed. "Sure I do."

Suddenly Abby's voice broke as she fought not to cry. "She can do things… I can't."

Sully's hand stopped moving on her back, and his head dropped. He could feel her small body shaking now against him as he moved to lie beside her. "Abby—"

"She's smart and educated and healthy and beautiful… She's open minded and she wants to help people. She wants to see your world. And you can show it to her all you want. I don't mind. I know you love me. But she doesn't know what it's like yet. She doesn't know what damage those people can cause. She hasn't seen her mother cryin' out in pain, bleedin' to death, simply because people are angry and violent."

Sully didn't know what to say to her. "Abby, I want you to be a part of it. I always have—"

Abby's voice was unusually strong and forceful. "You know I can't! You didn't see what I saw, Sully. But she didn't. Share it with her." Abby turned around, tears running down her eyes. "But save the rest of your heart for me."

Sully took her in his arms. How could having so much feel like losing something at the same time?

**Chapter 6**

**_November 1860- 7 months later_**

Within a week of each other, the clinic was finally completed, Lincoln was elected as the first Republican president of the United States, and the annual Sweethearts' Dance was announced.

David and Michaela had been swamped with patients the last couple of months. It was if Michaela had returned to her self-imposed isolated college days, when all she did was work and sleep. Unlike most engaged women, she did not give herself the time to consider the future. David was simply a fixture in it.

It still amazed her how well they worked together. She stood outside the new recovery room, where Stephen Phillips now slept peacefully. She was tired herself after nearly five hours of surgery. She was anxious, as she often was after new cases. They were able to save the lung, but there was no guarantee that the cancer would not come back. She left the room and began to walk down the hall, until she heard David's voice call her name.

Michaela walked into the other recovery room and found him sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard. "David? Are you alright?"

"Just tired." He held out his hand for her. "Come sit with me for a while."

She sat beside him, keeping a small distance between them. He shook his head. "Closer, Michaela."

"David—" She gripped the sheets of the bed, not wanting to move.

"Just let me hold you for a while. Please?" He put his hand over her knotted one, separating her fingers in between his. "No one has to know."

Michaela could hardly breathe, and suddenly David's lips were upon hers, prying her mouth open. He held her hands behind her back as he kissed her hungrily, not waiting for her reaction or permission.

As Michaela had no choice but to open her mouth to his, he finally released her hands, giving her the chance to push him away. She jerked away from him and jumped off the bed, glaring at him. "I'd know, David. Don't ever do that again."

She left the room, ran down the stairs, and out the clinic door. She needed air.

The night air was chilly, but Michaela didn't care. She couldn't be inside any longer. As soon as she walked outside, she felt the tears come. They only made her walk faster and faster, until she was standing alone in the dark on the bridge. She gripped one of the posts and tried desperately not to weep, but a deep keeling wail escaped her mouth.

He had seen her coming as he emerged from the woods. The second he saw her profile, he knew something was wrong. And then he heard her pain. He knew he had to go to her. They had been avoiding each other for months, only seeing each other in the form of doctor and patient, but not now. He had to go to her.

"Michaela," he said her given name for the first time. She turned to look at him, horrible pain filling her eyes.

"Sully," she whispered. She had missed him. She didn't realize how much she had until this moment.

Sully took two tentative steps forward and held out his hand to her. She took a deep breath and then looked in soft, concerned eyes. She didn't see what she saw earlier. He was safe.

She took his hand and he slowly pulled her into his protective arms. He felt warm. Safe. "Can I ask you something?" She whispered after her tears had subsided.

"Anythin'. We're friends." Sully pulled back and stroked the side of her cheek that was stained from crying.

"Did you and Abby…before you were married…did you…well…" Michaela looked down, blushing. "I shouldn't be asking you this."

"It's alright. I respected Abagail and her wishes." Sully smiled slightly, a little embarrassed.

"Oh." Michaela returned her head to his chest, hiding.

"Michaela? What is it?" He lifted her chin off his chest, and as their faces stood an inch apart, those suppressed feelings that had been squelched reignited as quickly as they had been extinguished, as time found them again.

Being in Sully's arms was even worse than being in David's, but Michaela had no desire to move or speak because she knew that it would all have to come to an end. She could feel the acceleration of his heart against hers, and his eyes were cutting through hers. And suddenly, he knew.

"Michaela, ya can't marry David."

"What?" Michaela jerked back from his arms.

Sully gripped her shoulders. "Ya can't. Promise me ya won't go through with it."

Michaela crossed her arms, defensively. "And what am I supposed to do? We just finished our clinic, Sully!"

Sully turned and gripped the railing, before pushing off on it hard. His voice was passionate and loud, cutting into her. "That's just material! Ya don't want to be with him!"

Michaela was nearly shaking, and she wasn't quite sure why. "How do you know that?"

"You wouldn't be here with me if ya did!" Sully retorted and they both froze. They were now trotting on dangerous ground, and words had to be chosen carefully before they both said something they might later regret.

Michaela took a deep breath and slowly began to stalk back towards him. "You are the most selfish, presumptuous man I have ever met in my life!"

"Maybe, but I'm right, ain't I?" Sully crossed his arms defiantly.

Michaela put her face in her hands. "This is pointless, Sully."

He touched her wrists, removing them from her face. "Why is it pointless?"

"Because I already made my decision!"

"Well unmake it, damn it!"

Michaela looked at his hands holding hers. "Why is this so important to you?"

Sully softened, seeing their joined hands linking, his darker covering her lighter ones. "Because I want you to be happy. I don't want to find ya like this ever again."

"Sully…"

He leaned in, his forehead nearly touching hers. "Shhh… We probably just woke up the whole town with all that screamin'. We better get outta here. Ya think about what I said?"

She nodded, uncertain, so uncertain. "I'll think about it. But I can't promise you anything."

_**December 20, 1860 **_

"Are you sure about this, Abby?" Sully asked as her led her very pregnant figure to the center of town where the Sweethearts' Dance was being held. Dr. Mike had told her that she needed to stay in bed for the last month, but Abagail was determined to go to the dance.

"I'm sure, I'm sure Sully. Dr. Mike said it was alright, as long as I didn't dance too much, but luckily the only man I want to dance with is happy to sit it out with me." She smiled impishly at Sully and he winked at her.

"Well, ya never know. I may have to have one dance with my wife and baby."

"What! Ya don't know how to dance." Abby's eyes were wide and shocked.

"Come here." Sully held his arms out for Abagail as a country waltz began.

"Sully!" Abagail nearly squealed as he spun her around. "I'm so impressed! How?—" Suddenly Abagail's arms dropped from Sully's and her face went snow white. "Dear God. Sully. Look."

David stood across the dance floor in a Union army uniform. A crowd surrounded him as word of the South Carolina secession from the Union roared through the townspeople. A call for the Union army had gone out that morning, and David was returning to Massachusetts to join. Sully and Abby watched from the distance as cries of others determined to join the fight began.

"Sully," Abby whispered, pulling on his shirt, pointing to a dark corner a small distance a way from the crowd. Michaela stood alone, leaning on a post, her eyes downcast. "Go check on her."

"You sure?"

Abby gestured towards David. "Look at him. He doesn't even see she's hurting. Go."

Sully walked across the dance floor until he stood right in front of Michaela. "So he's leaving."

"Yes," she whispered.

"I'm sorry, Michaela." He put his hand on her arm. "But maybe it's for the best."

"The engagement is still on, Sully." Michaela looked up, tears in her eyes.

"What? You can't." Sully felt sick to his stomach, as the crowd behind them suddenly lifted David on their shoulders, cheering for him wildly.

"I'm waiting for him," she whispered, looking into the crowd with lost eyes.

"Michaela—no!" He pulled her back to him, forcing her to looking him in the eyes.

Suddenly, there was a piercing scream across the dance floor. The crowd quieted and lowered David down, and Michaela and Sully jerked away from each other.

Abagail was on the ground unconscious.

Chapter 7

Michaela tried to gain control of her emotions as she ran ahead of Sully and Abagail. She had to focus, but all she could hear was Sully's pleading voice trailing her, begging his Abby to wake up. His Abby.

She shook the irritating tears away and burst through the clinic doors, lighting two lamps as quickly as she could.

"Dr. Mike," She turned to see Sully standing in doorway, one of his hands trembling, covered in crimson. "She's bleedin'."

"Lay her on the table, Sully. I want you to go get Charlotte for me and see what's keeping David."

"I don't want him touchin' her. Just you."

"Sully! No matter what you think of David, he's a very skilled doctor—"

"I don't care! I trust you. You can save her. You promised her."

"Sully!"

"No. Just you." Michaela shook her head. There was no time to argue with him. She wasn't about to let Abagail die. She was loosing so much blood, and the longer they waited, the less chance Abby and the baby had to survive.

David ran down the street, unbuttoning his uniform, preparing for a difficult birth. Just as he got to the clinic door, Sully stepped right in front of him, stopping him. "Don't."

"Are you insane? Your wife needs a doctor!"

"She already has one."

David scoffed, "Dr. Quinn is a good doctor, but your wife might need more help than Michaela is able to give by herself. She works better with me."

"I said no. And as far as Dr. Mike's concerned, she's better off alone than with you."

David's eyes clouded with blackness, and he ground his teeth down into a hard smile.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Suddenly Michaela opened the door, her eyes going immediately to Sully. "I need your permission to operate."

David frowned, a sickening feeling coming over him. "What are you doing, Michaela?"

"The baby won't come on its own, Sully. I need to cut."

"Michaela!" David stepped forward and grabbed her wrist. "You don't want to do this."

"I have to, David."

"But what if—"

"It won't." She glared hard at David, stopping him, his thoughts, the past. "I promised Abby." Michaela turned to Sully, completely ignoring David now. "Sully, please."

Sully nodded, unaware that his whole body was shaking. "Do it. I trust you."

Michaela slipped back into the clinic without a sound. The night air surround swallowed them, David leaned in closer to Sully, and whispered in his ear, "Maybe Dr. Mike's scalpel will slip and—"

"You son of a bitch!" David still had a menacing grin on his face when Sully pulled his tomahawk out, forcefully pushing David against the side of the clinic, throwing the blade so close to his head, he cut a piece of his hair off.

"Get out of here now. You have disrespected me, my wife, and your own fiancée. You don't deserve her."

"Maybe not. But you'll never have her." David pushed away and walked off into the darkness, pushing through townsfolk as they came from the dance to check on Abagail.

"Why isn't she wakin' up, Dr. Mike?" Charlotte asked, panicking at the pale, lifeless form of Abagail. "Is she gonna die?"

"I don't know… Now I'm going to cut down the center of her abdomen. There's a good chance the baby has been losing oxygen. Charlotte… you need to be prepared to listen carefully. Alright?"

"Whatever you say, Dr. Mike."

"Dear God. Please let the baby still be alive…"

Loren stood outside of the clinic, along with the rest of the crowd. His eyes couldn't help but veer towards Sully. He didn't know whether to hug him or wring his neck. He had been watching Abagail across the dance floor, half way smiling at her when he saw her swaying back and forth to the music, leaning over, and talking to her round belly. She was like a princess, until she keeled over and collapsed. And where had Sully been? Talking to that woman doctor.

"Loren?" Sully was standing quietly next to him. Loren looked at him warily, not really knowing what to say. "She's gonna be alright. I know it."

"Of course she is. Who else is gonna scream and yell at me?" Loren and Sully laughed tensely.

The door of the clinic opened slowly and Charlotte pushed the door open with one hand, quickly putting her hand back on the bundle she carried. "Sully?" she whispered, a tired smile on her face.

Sully stepped forward, and the townspeople quieted so Charlotte could speak. "You have a beautiful baby girl."

Applause and cheers erupted, but all Sully could see was the little angel being given to him. He didn't say a word, but a broken laugh escaped as he leaned down to kiss her tiny fingers. He looked up to see Loren watching the baby intently and asked, "Do you want to hold your granddaughter?"

Loren nodded, just as lost for words as Sully was, and took the cooing baby in his arms. "She's got Abby's eyes!" he exclaimed proudly.

Sully quickly turned back to Charlotte who had a pensive look on her face. "Charlotte. How is Abagail?"

"Sully…" Charlotte bit her lips and put on her bravest smile. "Dr. Mike is doing everything she can. Abby just lost so much blood…"

Loren looked up. "Charlotte, what aren't you sayin'? We're her family now. You gotta tell us."

Charlotte shook her head, tears coming to her eyes. "Maybe you two should talk to Dr. Mike."

Michaela led Sully and Loren into the recovery room where Abagail seemed to be sleeping. Her skin was ghostly white and dark circles had formed under her eyes. Michaela bit the inside of her cheek until she could taste the blood. She had let them down. She had let all of them down.

Loren walked slowly to the side of her bed and sat down next to her. He took her limp hand in his. "What's my babygirl doin' so quiet? That's not like you, Abby! You need to wake up for us, and see your beautiful little girl. She's an angel, Abagail. Just an angel." Loren brought her hand up to his, kissing it.

Sully didn't move.

Michaela swallowed, staring at him. She was going to be sick. "Excuse me."

Michaela slipped out of the room and ran to the other end of the all. She had to get out of there. She couldn't stand to see the look on Sully's face. She ran into the other recovery room and dropped in front of the water basin. As she vomited, she heard footsteps behind her, and then felt someone pull her long hair back.

Once it was over, she fell back on her knees, and then felt a cool rag run across her mouth.

"Put your arm around my neck," Sully whispered. He lifted her up and placed her on the bed.

He leaned over her and wiped away the sweat from her face. "You shouldn't be taking care of me. I let you down. I—"

"Shh…You did everythin' right. She's still alive. She's still got a chance. And we're gonna fight for her," Sully said resolutely.

Michaela swallowed. He was never going to understand this. He had so much faith in Abagail. He had so much faith in her. "Sully, you need to listen to me. She's in a coma. She might not wake up. Her blood sugar is so low. And we have no way to feed her."

Sully's eyes bled through hers. "She'll wake up, Dr. Mike."

She put her hand on the side of his face. "Sully. Look at me. If she doesn't wake up in the next forty-eight hours, she's going to die."

Sully's hand circled her wrist. "She's not goin' to die. You promised her."

"I'm going to do everything I can, but Sully—"

"You don't know her like I do, Dr. Mike. She's going to wake up for our little girl."

Charlotte carried the little girl upstairs and caught Dr. Mike in the hallway outside of Abagail's room. "Well, it's a good thing Brian is still breast feedin' cause this little one certainly was hungry!"

"It's very generous of you, Charlotte," Dr. Mike rubbed her neck, cramping from lack of sleep. Suddenly Michaela jumped up. "Maybe if the baby were closer to Abagail, it might help her wake up?"

"Couldn't hurt." Charlotte grabbed her arm. "Is there any change?"

"No. But Sully's not giving up. And neither am I." Michaela took the baby in her arms and carried her into the recovery room. Loren was curled up in the corner asleep and Sully was sitting on the edge of the bed. "I brought someone to visit. I thought she might like to meet her mama."

Sully reached for the infant and drew close to Abagail. "Abby? I've got our little girl here. She's so beautiful. She's like a little you. And she's got this golden sun kissed skin. We never really decided on a name. So much commotion goin' on we never got round to it. But if you open your eyes, if you just open your eyes and look at her, then you can give her the perfect name. Only like her mama could."

As Abagail lied there motionless, Sully suddenly sighed heavily and lifted the baby out of his arms, placing the baby in Abagail's lap. He took her limp hands and wrapped them around the child, making Abby hold the child. "Abagail. Wake up! You're holding your little girl. You have to wake up now. You have to look at her."

The baby began to cry without a steady cradle, and Sully, practically crazed at this point, didn't realize what he was doing. He shook Abagail's body, hard moans releasing as hopelessness washed over him. Charlotte turned away and Michaela stepped forward, taking the baby away, before she fell.

"Wake up, Abby. You can't do this! You can't leave me like this! Abby!"

Suddenly, Abagail moaned and everyone in the room fell silent.

"Abby?" Michaela asked, shocked. She fell to her knees, still comforting the baby on her shoulder. "Abby, open your eyes and look at your daughter."

"Daught—?" She said weakly.

"Yes, you have a beautiful little girl. Look."

Abagail opened her eyes, unfocused, but finally saw the child who had quieted in Michaela's arms. "All my life…Oh Sully."

"She's ours. Now we just have to get you better." Abby smiled weakly at him, but moved her eyes towards Dr. Mike.

"Love her like your own," Abagail's eyes began to shutter. "Love you S—"

Abagail exhaled and smiled, her eyes opening once more, as she turned to see Loren. "Pa."

She didn't take another breath.

The baby, without a name and now without a mother, began to wail in Michaela's arms.

Sully stood up slowly and left the room without looking back.

**Chapter 8**

**Author's note**: Rough translations: "Netonêševehe, ve'ho'a'e?" means "What is your name, white woman?" and "Navese'e?" means "Friend?" and "Eanovetano." means "He is sad."

**_Two days later—Christmas Eve_**

Michaela cradled the little girl in her arms, rocking her back and forth in the rocking chair while Charlotte prepared lunch for the children. The baby's eyes never left Michaela's. With Abagail gone and Sully missing, Michaela wouldn't let her go. Loren had come by to see the baby, but even he couldn't persuade Michaela to let go of the child for a few minutes to rest.

Michaela looked up suddenly, startling Charlotte and the children. "She needs a name. We can't go on like this. She needs a name."

"I reckon that's up to Sully, Dr. Mike," Charlotte shook her head sadly. "But who knows if he's ever comin' back."

Michaela felt her chest tighten. "He's coming back. He wouldn't abandon her."

"Sully wouldn't leave without sayin' goodbye," Colleen whispered, her words more a question than a statement. "Would he, ma?"

The room grew silent, but Michaela finally broke it as she jumped up, handing the baby to Matthew. "No he wouldn't. And I'm going to make sure of it." Michaela grabbed her coat and ran out the door into the winter afternoon.

As she saddled Bongo, she didn't hear the sound of his boots approach behind her. She stopped as she saw his hand splayed against the horse's neck. "Where have you been?" she asked quietly.

"I thought you may need some time to yourself. To deal with things." He placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Where were you when I needed you? I lost her, David. I nearly lost their little girl too."

"But you didn't. The baby's fine, isn't she?"

"Yes, but—"

"I know you doubt yourself sometimes, Michaela. I'm ashamed to say that I even doubted you. But with Abagail… there was nothing you could have done. She shouldn't have even been carrying a child in her condition."

"Don't say that, David! I promised her that I would do everything I could—"

"And you did." He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry I wasn't with you. I'm sorry I didn't believe in you. But Sully…"

"I know. But you could have been there afterwards." The burden of the last few days seemed to pull down on her all at once. "When are you leaving?"

"Tonight."

"Christmas Eve?"

"I was supposed to leave yesterday, but I couldn't go without seeing you. I wasn't sure… if things were alright between us." David swallowed. He wasn't often nervous, but there seemed to be a new energy about him, and Michaela wasn't exactly sure why. She knew they had argued before the birth, but other than that…?

"If I would still wait."

"Will you?" He took her hand in his. "I love you, Michaela. That's all that matters."

He didn't know if Sully had told her about his behavior the other night, but he didn't doubt that he would do anything to ruin his relationship with Michaela now.

"I need… I need to go somewhere… to think… before I make any decisions, David." She let go of his hands and seated the horse. "I'll tell you tonight before you leave."

Michaela followed the path she remembered from so many months ago. She could see smoke from the campfire coming over the oak trees. She had to be right about this. If she wasn't, she had no idea where he was.

All of a sudden, a brave jumped out from the trees and grabbed a hold of her reigns.

"Netonêševehe, ve'ho'a'e?" Michaela stared in the dark man's eyes. She didn't see anything foreboding, so she took a deep breath and tried to communicate with him.

"I am looking for Sully. Is he here? I'm his friend."

"Navese'e?" the brave pointed at her, furrowing his brow.

Michaela nodded, unsure of what she was saying, but continued, "I need to see Sully. I have news of his daughter. His baby." Michaela gestured with her arms, cradling them, until the brave recognized the sign.

The brave's voice lowered, and he shook his head. "Eanovetano." He took her reigns and led her horse into the woods.

Michaela and the brave passed through the clearing where the Cheyenne village was and went deeper into the woods. Just outside of a granite cave, Michaela finally saw Cloud Dancing waiting, as if he had known she was coming.

She immediately jumped off her horse and went to Cloud Dancing. "Is he alright?"

"He has not eaten or slept for two days. I fear we might lose him."

"No," Michaela shook with guilt, "He's got to eat. He has a daughter that's waiting for him."

"It was you that saved this child?" Michaela nodded. Cloud Dancing took her hands. "Then it is up to you to save the father as well."

Michaela entered the dark cave, the cold dampness icing over her body immediately. His black shadow danced against the walls of the cave, and she was horrified by what she saw.

The knife sliced through the flesh of his arm, but the physical pain was numb compared to the pain in his heart. He didn't understand how this could happen. He didn't understand how he would be able to forgive himself. How he would be able to forgive her. He didn't understand how God could be so cruel.

"Sully," she whispered, her eyes fixed on his open wounds.

Cutting deeper into his arm, Sully said hoarsely, "Go away, Michaela."

"You're bleeding. I can't." Michaela walked slowly towards him, careful not to make any sudden movements. She reached out and tried to make contact with his shoulder, but he flinched away from her touch.

"I said go away!"

She took a hold of his shoulder again, not letting him move away. "No Sully."

"You're the reason I'm bleedin'! Don't you understand that?" He turned his face away from her, but she grabbed his chin and made him look at her.

"Sully…I swear to you...if I could bring her back, I would. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Sully."

Sully closed his eyes at her soft touch, hating himself. "It doesn't matter, Michaela. This is my punishment."

"For what? You didn't do anything wrong!"

"I betrayed her… I let her down… I—" Sully cried, but Michaela held the sides of face up, not letting him concave inside himself.

"No. You didn't. You loved her, and she loved you. She still loves you." Impulsively, Michaela brought his forehead to her lips, trying to give him some kind of comfort.

Sully sighed, but the guilt, the aching guilt that stained his arms, made him push away from her, the resentment and unaimed anger surfacing as her gripped the sleeves of her jacket. "Don't do that."

"I just want to help you. I can't let you bleed to death." Michaela reached again for his arms, but he saw what she was doing, and caught her arms, wrapping them around her back.

"Don't!" She screamed as she struggled to gain the freedom of her arms. Michaela could feel his blood soaking through her jacket, and struggled all the more to get out of his grasp.

But Sully pulled her arms hard against her back, holding them tightly. "I said don't," he whispered harshly, mixed emotion draining from his eyes as they clutched each other in a stand still of wills.

Then Sully lost. He pushed the pain deeper; he cut further than he thought he could ever go. Like a flash, his lips melted into hers, cutting her the only way he knew how. If she had resisted, he could have healed. If she had resisted, the kiss would have been nothing but another scab on his arm.

But she didn't. She opened her mouth tentatively, slowly, seductively. Taking him in, gently, as if she were wrapping them in gauze, hiding them from the world.

But the blood was too much. His guilt was too deep. This was wrong. The time was wrong. Everything about them was wrong.

No matter the sweetness of her kiss, no matter the passage of time, they were lost.

He pulled away from her, freeing her, his blood now her blood.

"Sully?" She whispered, shocked.

"I have loved ya from the moment I first laid eyes on ya." Michaela covered her mouth, sobs coming to her swollen lips. "I betrayed Abagail in the worst way a husband can. I don't think I can live with myself, Michaela. Please go."

Michaela stood up, completely bewildered. "What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know. But we can't see each other again." Sully looked down. Michaela gaped at him, stupefied.

"Not see each other? But what about your daughter? You have to see her, Sully! She's your own flesh and blood!" Michaela was freely crying now, her pride completely gone.

"I can't be with her. Will ya… will ya take care of her?"

"Sully!"

"Will ya?" Sully nearly begged. Michaela turned around, wiping her eyes.

When she turned back around, her expression was stone cold. "I will. If you ever want to come and see her, her name is Abagail."

Michaela stared at him for a long moment, fixing his image in her mind, before she turned around and walked out.

Michaela rode back into town, just as the local army was getting ready to march out. She jumped off of Bongo and ran to the uniforms.

"David!" she screamed. "David!"

She couldn't find him. What would she do if she couldn't find him?

"Michaela?" David touched her shoulder, but then quickly stepped back. "Jesus! You're bleeding!"

"It's not my blood, David."

"What?"

"It's nothing, really. It was all nothing. I just wanted to give you an answer." She took a deep breath, looked down at the dried blood encrusting her hands and said in a defiant voice, "I'll wait for you."

**Chapter 9**

**_January 1, 1863- 3 years later_**

"Ready or no-ot! Heh I come!" Brian Cooper slammed through the clinic door, his knees bent low to the ground, fingers splayed in anticipation, and his tongue out in serious concentration. He stalked around the room once, but there was no sign of his prey.

Suddenly, a tiny giggle came from above.

"I heard dat!" Brian spun around in a circle, but he still didn't see anything. Before Brian could inspect further, Dr. Mike came through the front door, freezing Brian in his place.

"Brian?" She smiled at him sweetly, but was puzzled to see him alone in her clinic. "Are you sick, sweetheart?"

"Uh—" He scratched his head, trying to think of something to say.

"Do you have a headache?" She walked closer to him, feeling his head and finally lifting him up on the table. She ran her hand across his face. "You feel a little clammy to me. Maybe something in the cabinet might help—"

Michaela walked over to the cabinet and opened the door. "Oh my God!" She nearly jumped when she saw the tiny hand holding up the bottle of pills.

"Shhh! I hiddin' Mama! Don't tell Brian!" Abagail Sully whispered loudly as she hid her face in a tangle of wild curly brown hair.

Brian suddenly stood up on the examination table, jumping up and down, pointing to Abagail. "I gotcha! I gotcha!"

"Nuh uh! Gotta catch me furst!" Abagail screamed as she dove out of the cabinet into Michaela's arms, knocking down half of the medicine on the shelves.

"Whoa whoa whoa, Little Miss Sully! I think you and Brian need to calm down a bit, don't you?" Michaela gave her a pointed look and gestured to the spilled pills. Abagail looked over her shoulder and looked back at Michaela, blowing a loose ringlet out of her eye.

"I shoulda stayed in da cabnet." Abagail looked at her guiltily with big doe eyes.

"Maybe. But then I'd never see your beautiful face again, Miss Sully." Michaela kissed Abagail on the cheek and sat her down on her feed. "I'll help you and Brian clean it up, and then we'll head home for dinner, how's that sound?"

"K, Mama." Abagail turned to Brian as Michaela went to go get a broom.

"Next time we play in Mr. Bray's sto, k?" Abagail covered her mouth and giggled.

"Gwandpa love dat!"

_**Fredericksburg, Virginia **_

A lantern glowed beside the mahogany bed, casting a shadow over two pairs of intertwined arms and legs.

"I had that dream again."

"Did ya now?"

"I can't seem to get it out of my head."

"Was there anything different this time?"

"I dreamed we were together. Finally together. In every way possible. And then I just…"

"You just what?"

"I let her go."

"You let her go? You?"

"But then I turn around, and she's dead. And I know it's because of me. I killed her."

"Davy…You must stop thinkin' like that. It's the war talkin'. You'll get home to your sweetheart."

"Will I?" He took a drag of his cigar and exhaled. "You're such a damn romantic, Rose."

David rolled over and blew out the light, leaving them in darkness.

"Jus one mo, peas?" Abagail looked up at Michaela imploringly, who had just finished her third bedtime story.

"Sweetheart, you've heard all of these a hundred times. Aren't you tired of them yet?" Michaela didn't even know why she asked, because her answer was an impish shake of the head.

"Tell me bout Mista Sully and Misses Sully and how they made Miss Sully!" Michaela smiled indulgently. She had trouble refusing her anything. Abagail was her life now.

"Well your ma and pa loved each other very much. So much that they decided to have a little girl. But God decided that he needed more angels in heaven so he took your ma Abagail up there to be with him. But God knew there would be an Abagail missing on earth, so he sent you down to be with your pa and everyone who loved your ma. So you are now Miss Abagail Sully. You carry on the memory and the love of the entire Sully family. And that makes you so very, very special." Michaela felt Abagail sigh as she rocked her, and she smoothed away some of her loose ringlets so she could see her face.

"I weesh God didn't need so many angwels." Michaela's eyes clouded over, but she controlled her emotions as she spoke to the little girl.

"So do I, sweetheart. But we'll always have each other."

"What bout…pa?" Michaela's breathing slowed as she mentioned Sully. She was quite sure that Abagail didn't even understand what a 'pa' was, but she knew that Abagail felt his absence deeply. She felt his absence deeply.

"I don't know, Miss Sully. I don't know." Michaela lifted the little girl in her arms and tossed her into the bed. "Alright. Enough discussion. Goodnight babygirl."

"I had a dream last night."

"Oh?"

"I dreamed I went home."

"After so much time? Why now?"

"A feelin'."

"The child?"

"No. Her." Sully ran his finger down the scar tissue of his arm. He looked across the campfire at Cloud Dancing, the fire turning his eyes violet.

"Where is your mother, Colleen?" Dr. Mike asked as she came downstairs for breakfast, Abagail riding on her back.

"She went to the telegraph office, but she should be right back, Dr. Mike." Suddenly, Charlotte burst through the door, Horace on her heels.

"Dr. Mike…I-I-didn't know what to do bout this one…" Horace stammered, his eyes frozen with worry. "But even with the way things are I figure you'd want to know—"

"Know what?" She asked quickly. Abagail's grip tightened around her neck, making her all the more anxious.

"Well… here… telegram from Boston." He gave her the yellow piece of paper and stepped back.

"Come at once. Stop. Father is deathly ill stop. Your sister Rebecca." Michaela dropped the piece of paper on the ground and felt the weight of her body suddenly lightening.

Charlotte reached quickly for Abagail, grabbing the child before Michaela fainted. Horace broke her fall, patting her cheeks slightly.

She came to immediately, tears coming fast and unstoppable. "I have to get there now, Horace. I have to get to my father now, don't you understand?"

Horace's expression widened at her suggestion. "Dr. Mike… there's no way you can travel across the country right now! There's a war goin' on!"

"I don't care! I have to see my father!"

Charlotte interrupted, "Horace is right, Michaela. You go past the Mississippi and you're a dead woman."

Michaela glared at both of them. "I'll find a way to get there. Don't you worry about me." She pulled Abagail from Charlotte's arms. "Come on Miss Sully. Let's go pack."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note**: Rose's prayer is an Irish funeral prayer written by Henry Scott Holland.

Chapter 10

_**January 2, 1863**_

"That woman is completely insane," Jake Slicker stood on the porch of his barbershop, watching Michaela and little Abagail load their wagon with supplies.

Hank chuckled gruffly and puffed on his cigar. "Rather amusin', if you ask me."

"I can't wait to see what Loren is gonna have to say bout all this. No way is he gonna let Dr. Mike take that little girl 'cross the country," Jake said knowingly.

Sure enough, Loren Bray came storming out of the General Store, barreling down the street towards Dr. Quinn. "What do you think you're doin'?" he bellowed, as he scooped up Abagail in his arms. "Ya not takin' this child 'cross the bridge, let alone all the way to Boston! Have ya lost your mind?"

Michaela put her medical bag down and tried to remain calm although she felt anything but stoic. "My father is sick, Loren. I have to go to him."

"You've hardly mentioned ya father in all these years I've known ya! And now ya want me to risk my only granddaughter's life just because ya havin' a fit of guilt? It doesn't work that way, Dr. Mike! If ya care so much about him, ya should have never left Boston!"

"You know _nothing_ about me and my father, Loren. _Nothing_." Michaela fired back. Every emotion she had been withholding came out as she cried, "He is my _heart_. He let me be who I wanted to be. I can't let him down again. I _can't_."

Loren and Michaela locked eyes for a moment, and for a split second, Loren remembered the day he said no to Abagail, the day he shut her out of his home and heart. He grimaced at the memory. There was nothing he could do about it now. But this woman. This woman standing in front of him, raising his granddaughter, taking his daughter's place without asking, she was his chance. If only he could trust her.

"Alright. Go. But…" Loren waned, "Would ya just let Abagail stay here with me?"

Michaela sighed. She knew it would be a dangerous trip. Loren was probably right. She wasn't thinking. The thought of leaving Abagail made her sick. Michaela had broken so many promises in her life, but this one she couldn't. She couldn't lose Abagail.

Suddenly Abagail pulled on Loren's wrinkled face. "But I wanna go with Mama."

Loren frowned at Abagail. She was as impetuous as her mother, and his heart ached as saw his daughter's expression in the little girl. "You do, huh?" Abagail nodded in response, curling her fingers around Loren's graying hair. "I can't fight both of you. Will ya at least take someone with ya, Dr. Mike?"

Michaela swallowed. She genuinely liked Loren, despite his stubbornness, and she didn't want to lie to him. "Once we get to St. Louis, I'll wire my sister and ask her husband to meet us halfway."

"Dr. Mike…" Loren shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Loren, but what man is willing to go with us who isn't already fighting in the war?"

"I'll go!" Loren stood tall.

"And who would take care of the store? Brian?"

"He does know where everything is." Michaela rolled her eyes at him.

The truth was, Loren didn't know. The town's survival depended on the few men who were left, and time's were hard everywhere. He glanced towards Jake and Hank on the porch. Jake had refused to go anywhere near the war. He didn't trust Hank for a second around Dr. Mike and his granddaughter. Horace couldn't leave the telegraph office. The Reverend was long gone, possibly the army, but Loren was skeptical about that. Colorado Springs was left with nothing but women, children, and men who couldn't fight, or refused to.

When Loren couldn't give her an answer, Michaela took Abagail from his arms. "You see? I have to do this myself. I promise you, Loren. I won't let anything happen to her."

Michaela put Abagail on her own two feet. "We have to hurry, Miss Sully."

That was it, Loren realized, as he heard the child's pet name. He would have to act fast. Lord knows he didn't want to do this, but it was the only way.

Rose O'Brien combed her auburn hair as she waited for David in the cold Virginia barracks. Waiting. That's all she seemed to be doing these days. She hated this war. She hated what it had done to her.

And when she thought of David and his past… what he wouldn't say.

This world was such a dark place. Nothing was right.

"I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.  
All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before." Rose smiled wistfully and put her brush down. She held up a cracked hand mirror, the only possession she had left from her mother, and really looked at herself. A bruise ran the length from her ear to her mouth.

"What are you doing?" David opened the tent, catching her off guard.

"Lookin'. How did things go with General Burnside?" David sighed, and moved closer to her.

"It looks like he's going to be replaced afterall." His shoulders slumped, and he slowly buried his face between his legs.

Rose watched his body start to shake. She hesitantly touched his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"I keep seeing their faces. I keep seeing them. I keep seeing her face…" He cried into his hands.

"Who's face? Your fiancée? She's fine. She's no where near here—"

"No…not her. You don't understand. Michaela doesn't know. She doesn't have any idea. I've killed so many… so many."

"You were defending your country, Davy."

"But not when it mattered most." Rose frowned, not understanding what he meant. Something was troubling him deeply, something the fighting and the war had stirred in him. She didn't know why, but she knew she had to figure out what it was.

Loren rode past Willow creek, until he hit the crossroads. Since he lost Maude, he never went beyond the main road, and he never thought he would see the day when he would go near this place.

But he couldn't think about the past. He couldn't think about his hatred. He had to protect his grandchild.

He only hoped he could find Sully in time to stop Michaela and Abagail.

Abagail watched her mother's legs as they shook mercilessly back and forth in the wagon. She didn't know if this was such a good idea anymore.

"Mama?"

"Yes, sweetheart." Michaela answered, keeping her eyes on the road ahead.

"Are ya ok?"

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

Abagail gripped the side of the wagon as the road got bumpier. "Ya shakin' da whole wagon."

"Oh," Michaela laughed nervously. "Mama hasn't been home in a while. That's all."

"Ya scared?" Abagail whispered, her eyes wide and concerned.

Michaela turned to her little girl and exhaled. "My father is very sick. And I love him very much."

Abagail contemplated her mother's words. "Like I wuv you?"

"Just like that." Michaela kissed the tip of her nose, feeling a little better.

As they ascended a ridge, Bongo suddenly stopped moving. "Mama? Mama!" Abagail screamed as they began rolling backwards. "What's happenin'?"

"I don't know. Maybe he's spooked." Michaela tried to remain calm as Bongo kept stepping backwards. Just as quickly as the wagon started rolling, it stopped again.

The reigns tightened in Michaela's hands and the wagon moved forward quickly as if someone were pulling it.

Bongo stopped again at the top of the ridge. "Who's there?" Michaela called out.

"I said who's there!"

Slowly, a man stepped out from behind the horse, his head down and his arms wrapped around his chest. "Help me. Ya gotta help me."

He fell to his knees and curled over. Michaela quickly jumped out of the wagon and ran to him. She turned him over and could feel blood coming through his shirt. "Miss Sully, bring me my medical bag!"

"I'm comin'! I'm comin'!" Abagail slid down the wheel of the wagon and ran to her mother's side. "What ya need?"

"The scissors. We need to cut his shirt open. He's bleeding heavily." Abagail dug in the medical bag and pulled out the scissors. Michaela began to cut open his shirt, and the man hollered out in pain as she pulled the fabric away from his body.

"Oh my God," Michaela whispered as she looked at the lacerations on his back. "He's been whipped."

"We'll clean the wounds and then we'll have to wrap it." Abagail silently pulled out the gauze and watched as her mother worked. The man suddenly began to moan, and Abagail moved up to his side, taking his hand in hers.

"It's gonna be k. Mama's takin' good care of ya," she whispered soothingly. Michaela tied the last bandage around his wounds and moved beside Abagail.

"Sir? Can you hear me?"

"Yes m'am," he barely got out.

"You're going to be alright. But we need to take you home. Is…is that alright?"

"Can't go home. Don't have a home nomore. Can't…can't do it. They'll hang me."

"You'll have to journey with us then. We're going someplace safe."

"Thank ya." Michaela nodded and wiped his brow.

"We'll stop here tonight until you get your strength back." The man nodded and Abagail patted his cheek, as if that would help to take away his scars.

"What's ya name?" she asked curiously.

The man closed his eyes and grimaced. "My name be Robert E."

Loren's heart raced as he stepped off his horse. All he could say, over and over again, was say Sully's name. Sweat gathered at the base of his neck, and he could feel his shirt sticking to him. The Indians only stared at him and led him silently through the woods. Why had he done this? He wanted to turn around. He wanted to yell at every single one of them, ask them why they took Maude away, for what reason? But his fear kept him silent.

Then he saw him. Sully sat on the edge of the ravine, starring out into space. His hair was much longer than it was before, and he now wore buckskins instead of trousers. Sully's expression did not change when he turned around. He was lost.

Loren didn't wait. "Your time is up, Sully. Your daughter needs you now."

Sully shook his head and asked evenly, "How is she?"

"Beautiful. Smart. She just turned three years old, Sully. And I never would have thought it, but Dr. Mike is a good mother to her. Well, most of the time. She's got it in her head that she can make it all the way across the country by herself during a war."

Sully suddenly became alert. "What?"

"She and your daughter left this morning in a wagon on their way to St. Louis. She's tryin' to get to Boston to see her father. But she's going to get herself killed, Sully."

"Why did ya let them go?"

"Because of Abby." Loren said quietly, shocked that he was actually admitting it to Sully. "But it didn't matter what I said anyway, she was gonna go. But now that I'm thinkin' better on it, it just seems downright crazy! Sully, ya have to stop her."

Sully exhaled. God, he wasn't ready for this. He had dreamed about it for so long. Going back, seeing her, seeing them, but he never thought it would really happen. "Loren, there's no way I would ever try to stop Dr. Mike."

He got up and walked back towards the camp. "What? Ya not going to do anythin'? Ya going to let your only child get mangled in the war by some deserter soldier? Unbelievable. Ya didn't deserve Abagail and ya certainly don't deserve ya child."

Sully watched Loren march off into the woods. Sully rubbed the scars on his arm as his horse, Emo'onahe, slowly walked up beside him.

"Where are ya fum, Robert E?" Abagail asked him another question, as they sat around the campfire, somewhere between the borders of Colorado and Kansas.

"Nowhere that's worth talkin' bout, Miss," he answered quietly, as he did all her questions. Michaela watched him. She couldn't imagine all the pain he must have gone through; the visible pain that she could see and touch with her own two hands was vivid enough. She wondered if Robert E would ever be willing to talk about his past, or if he would just like it to be forgotten.

But she knew now, no matter how she tried to forget her past, it would always be there waiting for her. She was heading straight for it.

"Mama?" Abagail was standing up in front of her, legs crossed. "I gotta go."

"Want me to take you?" She asked, putting down her bowl.

"No, I'm a big girl." Michaela eyed her warily, but nodded her head.

"Alright, but don't go too far. Only to the hole we made, alright?" Abagail nodded happily and skipped off a little ways into the woods.

"Ya got quiet a handful with her, Doctor," Robert E smiled and turned on his side. "Something tells me she's gonna lead us all the way to Boston."

After Abagail quickly did her business, she began to go back to the campsite, but rethought her plans as she began to hear sounds coming from beneath an oak tree. She ran to the hole and dropped on her hands and knees to peer inside. "Bunny wabbits!" she exclaimed. All thoughts of returning back to camp were immediately forgotten.

"She should have been back by now," Michaela said five minutes later. "I'm going to look for her."

As Abagail played with the newborn rabbits, she didn't hear anyone walk up behind her. Only when the dark shadow covered her cove did she turn around to see the stranger looking down upon her.

"Who are you?" she whispered, dropping the rabbit from her hands.

**Chapter 11**

The stranger knelt down in front of Abagail and picked up the forgotten rabbit. He caressed the soft fur of the animal, not taking his eyes off of the little girl. He reached out and brushed a ringlet away that always fell in her eyes. Smiling was foreign to him now; but he knew he was when her frightened expression softened, and she smiled in return.

"Ya like rabbits, huh?" he asked.

"Wuv 'em!" she answered enthusiastically.

"I like 'em too." He smiled and held out the rabbit for her to pet.

"Who are you?" she asked again.

"Miss Sully!" Michaela's voice called from the distance. "Answer me, Miss Sully!"

The stranger looked towards the direction of the voice and frowned slightly. "Is that what Dr. Mike calls you?"

"Yeah, but my name is Ab'gail." She turned away from him and screamed back to Michaela. "Ova heh, Mama!"

When she turned back around, the stranger was gone. "Hey! Where ya go?"

Michaela quickly came into sight, and she ran to Abagail, scooping her up in her arms. "Where have you been, Miss Sully? You scared me to death!"

"I found some wabbits, Mama. Can I keep one? Peas?" Abagail leaned her forehead against Michaela's, as she tried to get her way.

Michaela sighed. The child could make most men walk on water, but she had her limits. "Sweetheart, I think the rabbits would be happier in their natural habitat, don't you?" When Abagail began pouting, Michaela justified, "We can come visit them anytime you like. But we can't keep them, alright? Now it's dark, and Robert E needs our attention. So let's get back to camp."

"Mama, wait. I met a man."

"You what?"

"He knew who ya were. He asked me bout my name." Michaela frowned at Abagail's serious expression. She often told imaginative stories, so Michaela didn't know what to believe. "He likes wabbits too."

"Oh he does?" Michaela smiled wryly at her little imp. "And I bet he wouldn't mind if you had one, right?"

"Nope!" Abagail shook her head and displayed a big toothy grin. Michaela rolled her eyes and began walking back towards the camp. "Hey! What bout da wabbits!"

Abagail looked back towards the tree, and there was the stranger, holding one of the rabbits. He put his hand to his lips, silencing her. Abagail giggled and buried her head in Michaela's neck.

"What are you laughing about, you silly goose?" Michaela stopped and asked.

"Nuttin…Abso-lutely nuttin!" Abagail's eyes twinkled as the stranger disappeared again.

In the middle of the night, he got up from his perch in the bushes and crept into the camp. The man he had heard Michaela call Robert E slept a drugged sleep across the campfire from Michaela and Abagail. He walked soundlessly to where they were and knelt down beside them. Abagail had completely knocked her blankets off, and one of her arms and legs had been thrown over Michaela. He gently took her arm and leg off of Michaela and pulled the blankets back over her. He didn't try to smooth away her ringlets this time. He liked her wild curls.

Suddenly Michaela shifted and wrapped a protective arm around Abagail, bringing her close to her heart. He had been right. She was a great mother.

Impulsively, he leaned over and kissed her cheek. "God, I'm sorry."

He quickly got up and left, returning to his watch post in the trees, where he could protect them from a distance.

Michaela stirred again, and her dreams began as she murmured, "Sully…"

"_Eziekial! Caleb! Where you be?" Robert E ran into the dark shack. He had news, such news. Abe Lincoln was going to sign the Emancipation Proclamation any day now, and they would all be free. He and his sons could go look for their mother, and they could finally be a real family. Finally. "Sons! Answer me!" _

"_They gone, Robert E… They all gone." Alice May answered sorrowfully from the doorway. _

_He turned around, shock and venom in his eyes. This was too much. First his wife, and now his sons? "Mista Jameson sold them out. He's sellin' everyone out with young blood." _

"_No! You are lyin'! My sons are here! Eziekial! Caleb! Boys!"_

"_They ain't here, Robert E, they gone, I tell ya, they all gone…"_

"Robert E? You're dreaming, Robert E." Michaela leaned over him, as she tried to wake him up.

"My…my boys…" Robert E cried. "I can't find 'em."

"What happened?" Michaela asked nervously.

"They was sold just as we was about to be free. I don't where. My..._master_… didn't want to let me go. So I put up a fight."

"And you were whipped." Michaela wiped the sweat off of his forehead. She would never understand or forgive such monstrosity.

"But I escaped, I did. And I am goin' to find my family," Robert E said resolutely. Robert E turned to Dr. Mike. "I need to warn ya, Dr. Quinn. A warrant is out for my arrest. It may not be safe for ya to travel with me."

Michaela looked him squarely in the eyes. "You have waged a terrible war. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you again. We will get you to safety. No one ever should be made a prisoner to someone else."

Michaela smiled at him and went back to her own blankets, contemplating her own words. What a hypocrite she was. She lied down, disgusted with herself.

_**September 1858**_

Dr. Josef Quinn led his daughter and Dr. Lewis through the hospital to the children's ward. His expression was unreadable. Michaela was quite anxious, as her father had warned her of the delicacy of this case but had given her absolutely no details. Josef opened the door gingerly and smiled at a tiny, frail girl lying in the bed.

"Good morning, Caroline." The child, with blond limp hair and sickly pale skin, looked up to her visitors.

"Hello, Dr. Quinn," she said weakly.

He smiled back warmly, and began to introduce his associates. "This is Dr. David Lewis, and this is my daughter, Dr. Michaela Quinn." Josef leaned in closer, with a twinkle in his eye, "But you can call her Dr. Mike like me."

Caroline giggled and smiled at Dr. Mike, liking her already. "Well, because we want you to feel comfortable, we thought we'd let Dr. Mike examine you. Would you like that?"

Caroline smiled and held out her hand for Michaela. Michaela always wanted to find a cure, but a child made her want to do her best as a doctor.

David muttered under his breath, "If you will excuse me." His face had turned a grayish-white color that no one had seemed to notice as he quickly ran out of the room.

Michaela began the physical examination, suddenly realizing why her father didn't want to speak of the case in detail. Caroline had syphilis.

Rose was alone again. David was deeply loved by the officers and had acquired much clout in the army. She wasn't surprised. That man was like a chameleon. Charming one minute, brooding and depressed the next. Luckily he was smart enough not to show the other side to his superior officers.

She folded his shirts, placing them beside his backpack. His backpack. She had always been curious as to what men carried. She looked towards the entrance of the tent, and when she knew that no one was coming, she began to go through it.

There were typical army supplies, which she quickly discarded, but then she suddenly came to several pieces of paper and photographs. She went straight for the pictures, saving the letters for later.

The first one she found was a still of an absolutely beautiful woman—elegant and refined with coiffed hair. Rose looked at the back of the picture. _Dr. Michaela Quinn 1858_. "My goodness. How in the world did he get her?" She felt completely inadequate, but nevertheless, she kept flipping through the pictures.

She found his parents, pictures of brothers and sisters, but she stopped cold on another picture. She turned to the back, but there was no name written. She turned the picture over and peered closely at it.

The young woman in the photograph didn't smile. Her eyes didn't focus on the camera. They looked just to the left of it. Her hair seemed to be blond in the black and white photograph, and her face was unadorned.

Before she could put the pictures away, the tent flap flew open. David had returned. Rose met his eyes and swallowed. He saw the pictures in her hands, and his eyes went black. "What did you do?"

Rose covered the bruise on the side of her face. "I just want to know who ya are."

David grabbed the pictures from her. "No one can know that. Get out."

Rose quickly left the tent. Perhaps it was time to move on to another fella. She was getting way too attached. She thought he was going to hit her like the others sometimes did, but he didn't. She couldn't help but wonder… Who was that woman?

After making a soft pallet for Robert E in the back of the wagon, they were on their way again in the morning. Abagail was trying her hardest to make Robert E smile, and Michaela sighed at her daughter's valiant efforts. She didn't want to tell Abagail that there was nothing she could do to make him smile, short of finding his family.

They came out quickly, so quickly that they didn't even frighten the horse. Suddenly they were surrounded by five Dog soldiers, with cold, hard looks on their faces.

Abagail stopped talking in mid-sentence, and Michaela froze in her seat.

"We mean no harm," Michaela spoke out. "We are only trying to get home."

Two of the Indians looked at each other, and one nodded. "What can you give us? Our people are hungry."

Michaela's stomach tightened. "We have very little food. Just enough to get to St. Louis."

"We will take it," a Dog soldier with two red circles around his eyes answered. "What else?"

"I don't have anything else." Michaela pulled Abagail closer to her.

"The girl." Before Michaela could react, a dog soldier with yellow slashes across his face grabbed Abagail from the wagon.

Michaela tried to tighten her grip, but she was grabbed from behind and pulled off the wagon.

Painfully, Robert E moved as fast as he could, jumping on the other Indians as he began to wrestle them to the ground.

Like a flash, the tomahawk spun through the air, hitting the one with yellow slashes in the leg, making him drop Abagail to the ground.

"Run Abagail!" Sully called to her from behind the bushes. Abagail saw the stranger and ran to where he had been. She ducked behind the bushes and watched as the stranger began to fight off all of the Indians with Robert E. She quickly noticed the stranger's tomahawk lying on the ground, so she began to move from her safe place.

The last Indian standing held Michaela around the waist and neck. He pulled out a sharp blade and positioned the knife next to her Adam's apple. "I take her and the supplies."

Sully glared at the brave, judging him. "Let her go. Fight for it like a hetane."

"You are Cheyenne. Your people are weak. I do not fight for what I already have."

Abagail quickly moved from behind the wagon with the heavy tomahawk in her hands.

"Hey! Ova heh!"

As the Indian turned and looked, Sully saw his chance. He grabbed the arm that held the knife and twisted it behind his back, forcing the brave to drop it. Michaela ran out of the Indian's arms as Sully picked up the knife and pointed it at him. "Now. You leave. Do not bother my family again."

Michaela breathed deeply as she watched the Indians leave, bruised and battered. For the first time since he arrived, she and Sully made eye contact.

She didn't know what to say to him. What could she say to him? The last time they had seen each other… she thought she would never see him again. And now?

But the tension between Michaela and Sully soon broke by a bewildered little girl carrying a tomahawk. Her eyes were full and confused. She looked at Sully, and then at Michaela, and then back to Sully again. "Family?" she whispered.

Chapter 12

Abagail's eyes didn't leave Sully's as she waited for an explanation. Unknowingly, she gripped the tomahawk harder as Sully and Michaela stepped closer to her. "Mama, who is he?" she asked in a small voice.

Michaela took a deep breath, knowing only the truth would suffice. "He's Sully, sweetheart. He's your pa."

Abagail's eyes widened in disbelief, her brow furrowed as she looked at the stranger in front of her. Her pa. Mr. Sully.

"But…but Mr. Sully's not weal!" She protested as she remembered her nightly stories about princes and fairies and Mr. and Mrs. Sully.

"I'm real Abagail." Sully knelt down in front of her. "I'm so sorry I haven't been here for ya. I always thought about ya. How ya were. What ya were up to."

"But ya nevah came to see me." Abagail curled her hand around her back and began to suck her thumb. Michaela watched her movements and cringed inside. Abagail hadn't sucked her thumb in over a year.

"I'm sorry, Abagail. I wasn't ready to be a good pa to ya after ya ma died." Abagail immediately put her hands over her ears, blocking his words out.

"My mama's heh!" She began to cry. "She's _not_ dead!"

"Abagail—" Sully tried to reach out to her, but she jerked away from him.

"No!" she screamed and ran away, behind a large rock not to far away. To Abagail, it was the best hiding spot in the world.

Robert E stepped up and looked between Sully and Michaela. "Look, why don't I try to explain things. Maybe I can help her understand."

"Thank you, Robert E," Michaela tried to smile, but she had no idea how they would ever work this out. Sully had called them his family, but the truth was, at that moment, they were anything but a family.

Michaela walked a piece away from the wagon in the center of the clearing. She didn't even ask Sully to follow her. She knew he would.

She stopped in front of a large oak, unable to face him. She wrapped her arms around her body, as if it would control her emotions and not let him see what she was feeling right now. She was stunned he was here.

"Why now, Sully?"

Sully watched her, not knowing how much he should really tell her. "Loren told me what ya were doin'. I wanted to make sure ya got there in one piece."

Michaela shook her head, not believing him. "It's been three years, Sully. This isn't the first time I've done something dangerous."

Sully should have known she would see right through him. "I know."

"You know? How?"

"I've always made sure you and Abagail were safe, even if ya couldn't see me." Michaela turned around and looked at him.

She softened slightly, dropping her arms from their defensive pose. "When?"

Sully looked up to the sky, a thousand memories running through his head. "Remember when Abagail was just learnin' to walk, and ya took her out to the meadow?"

Michaela knew the exact day he was talking about. "Everyone was flying kites—"

Sully stepped closer to her, his blue eyes sparkling. "And Abagail kept tryin' to run and catch them—"

Michaela laughed, "And she kept falling—"

"But you, ya kept pickin' her right back up." He smiled genuinely, without thinking, caught up in the memory with her and whispered, "_Emo'onahe_."

And then another memory came rushing back for Michaela—the night they danced together in the boarding house. She could feel herself blushing, and the sharp look in his eye told her he remembered the same evening, so long ago.

"What else?"

"Everything, Michaela. How you protected the church when the Reverend left, how you read and rocked Abagail every night before bed, how you handled the measles epidemic, how you took care of Loren after…" Both Michaela and Sully looked away from each other. The guilt, although not as biting as it was before, still stung deeply.

Michaela turned back to him, the natural intimacy gone, and a safe distance between them now. "What are we going to do about Miss Sully?"

"It's goin' to take time for her to trust me. Maybe… maybe I should go with ya to Boston? Stay with her a while?" Michaela shook to the very core of her being at the thought of spending so much time with him.

"Are you sure? Leaving…leaving would only devastate her again." Michaela looked down, her throat holding her heart.

Sully stepped forward and lifted her chin, sensing she meant more than just Abagail. "Again?"

Michaela suddenly felt a chill run down her body, as she realized what she was doing. She wasn't free. She had made promises long ago. Out of fear, out of protection, out of necessity, and some misguided search for salvation, she had given up her choice, her life to a man she didn't love. So different from man standing before her.

She stepped back, breaking away from his touch. "I love her very much. I'm the only parent she knows, Sully. And if you're going to do this, you have to be a father to her."

Sully nodded, feeling the tension radiating from her body. "I won't let you down, I promise Michaela."

_**October 1858 **_

It was nearly midnight, and the children's hall was silent, except for Michaela and her father, walking arm and arm together at the end of the day. Michaela yawned and rested her head on Josef's shoulder.

"Long day?" he asked in his comforting, rich voice.

"I spent most of it with Caroline. Her eyesight is deteriorating rapidly. I don't know what else to do. I feel the mercury treatments may have been too late." Josef looked at his daughter's furrowed brow and hugged her closer to him.

"You will help her, Michaela. I have faith in you. You are a good doctor."

"Am I?"

Josef stopped and turned to her. "Do you really doubt yourself so much?"

"There's just so much we don't know. Sometimes I feel helpless when I don't know an immediate cure. I'm supposed to know the answer and be able to help people."

"Oh my girl. We are doctors. We are not God. The answers will come in time."

"Perhaps you're right. I've been reading about a Mr. William Earl who has come up with an anti-detersive essence that seems to affect an immediate cure. How do you feel about these radical claims? Should I take them seriously?"

"Mike, there are drugs to be trusted, and there are methods not to be trusted. Until it is tested by medical professionals, do not do anything irrational. I simply don't feel comfortable using untested drugs on a child. Promise me you won't."

Josef's expression was impassive, and Michaela didn't dare to argue with him. "I promise, father." She would simply have to continue using the mercury treatments until she came across a method that was safe and effective.

"Nice hole you got goin' there," Robert E observed as Abagail shoveled dirt out of the ground with a stick. "Mind if I dig with ya?"

Abagail silently produced a stick for him and continued beating away at the earth.

"This must be real confusin' for ya. Ya know… I understand how ya pa feels… My wife was taken away from me, and nobody asked me if it be alright. And I had trouble… being there for my boys. They didn't have a real pa around, even if my body was there."

Abagail stopped digging and looked at him. "You were sad?"

Robert E nodded, his eyes looking out in the distance, remembering. "Real sad. And lost. It took losin' them for me to find them again."

"You lost ya sons?" Abagail dropped the stick and moved to sit closer to Robert E, shyly sliding her arm through his.

"I did." He lowered his head and took her tiny hand in his. "I finally answered all of your questions, didn't I?"

"What do I say to 'em?" She asked thoughtfully.

Robert E smiled and squeezed her hand. "You don't have to say anythin'. You just be yourself."

After Abagail and Robert E returned, they wordlessly loaded the wagon. Abagail glared at Sully as he moved beside Michaela on the front seat.

"Mama!" She huffed indignantly. "Dat's my seat!"

Sully began to get up, but Michaela pushed down on his leg, forcing him to stay put. "Well, you can sit up here with us, if you want to," Michaela offered.

"Ya can sit in my lap," Sully murmured hopefully, not sure if he was right to suggest such a thing to such an irate three year old.

Abagail hated sitting in the back, always had. But riding up front with _him_? She didn't know what was worse. Finally, she huffed, giving up. "K. But I'm a big girl. Ya don't haveta hold me."

Michaela watched from the corner of her eye as Abagail sat down on Sully's lap. Sully subtlety held on to a piece of her skirt so she wouldn't lose her balance. He caught Michaela's eye and smiled cautiously. Somehow they would make this ok.

As dusk began to settle into the golden plains of Kansas, Abagail curled into Sully's chest, sleeping in the nook of his arm as he held her. Michaela couldn't help but steal glances at them. They seemed so natural together. Well, at least when Miss Sully wasn't talking.

In the horizon, lightening lit the sky as Bongo neighed and resisted going any further.

Sully looked up to the sky, observing the clouds. "We better take cover fast, Michaela."

"Where?" She asked, looking around at the massive stretch of corn fields ahead. "There are no trees."

"We'll use the wagon for protection. Unhitch the horse, and I'll see what I can do."

The sky broke just as Sully and Michaela finished turning the wagon into a make-shift lean-to. "Get in there!" he called to her, the thunder forcing him to raise his voice. "I don't want ya to get sick."

"I'm helping you finish. You could get sick just as easily as I could," she answered pointedly, and Sully quickly remembered how annoyingly stubborn she could be sometimes.

"Fine! Let's stop dawdlin' then and finish!"

"Fine!" Michaela and Sully kept muttering back and forth to each other as they finally put the last layer of grass covering over the wagon.

A tired, annoyed voice came from inside the wagon, "Mama, will ya two stop fightin' and get in heh?"

"Oh, the sensible one has spoken." Sully twisted his mouth and brushed past a soaking wet Michaela.

Space was tight under the wagon. Too tight. Michaela began to shiver as the wetness penetrated through her clothes, touching her skin. Sully wasn't any better off, as his chest began to palpitate rapidly. Abagail passed them the dry blankets, which they quickly wrapped around themselves.

She bit her lip nervously as she watched them shake. "Are ya gonna be k?"

"We'll be fine, Miss Sully. Now you try and get some sleep. I love you." Abagail leaned over and gave Michaela a big kiss on the lips.

"Wuv ya too." She looked at Sully with deliberation, and quickly leaned in, barely brushing her lips against his cheek. "'night, Mr. Sully."

She turned over on her back before she could give him a chance to react. But as she closed her eyes tightly, she felt a kiss just a quickly plant itself right on her cheek. "'night, Abagail."

When Sully heard Michaela's teeth chattering he turned to her, at his end. "What now, doctor?"

Michaela knew exactly what they needed to do. All logic and common sense told her to get out of the wet clothes. It was logical. Medical. A proven fact. But why did it feel so…? "We'll get sick if we stay in these wet clothes." Michaela's voice cracked nervously.

"Oh." Sully nodded, looking down. "I'll hold up my blanket for you."

"Thank you…Close your eyes please." He did as she asked but could help glance at the pile of discarded clothes that she was collecting. He knew what a woman's body looked like, but he couldn't imagine hers. He had never really tried to until this moment, when the reality was only behind a blanket. Yes, she was a beautiful woman, but her spirit touched him in ways that no other person had. And every time he realized this, he knew he had betrayed Abby with his heart.

"Alright," she answered, still shivering. He lowered his blanket to see her firmly wrapped in another. He swallowed and gave her his blanket.

"Don't peek," he said cheekily, trying to lighten the mood. He quickly took his shirt and buckskins off, and grabbed the blanket from her.

He began to rock back and forth, still chilled. Her matted hair rested on the crest of her exposed shoulders; and he watched her, the unstoppable guilt paralyzing him. He needed to change the subject, get their minds off the cold. Get his mind off her.

All of a sudden, a soft snoring sound came from Abagail, and both Sully and Michaela chuckled softly as she slept with her mouth open.

"She always does that when she sleeps on her back," Michaela said affectionately.

"Boy, she's stubborn." He eyed Michaela conspicuously.

"She likes to do things her own way."

Sully huffed. "I can relate to that. Well, it's a good thing you gave Robert E laudanum. You and I may never get any sleep." He turned to Michaela, his curiosity getting the better of him. "How come ya don't call her Abagail?"

Michaela shivered violently, embarrassment and cold hitting every nerve in her body. "Of course I do."

"No ya don't. I've only heard ya call her Miss Sully." Michaela looked down.

"It's just a nickname, Sully." Sully nodded, gathering the blanket closer to him as the wind picked up outside.

"I just thought it was nice…how ya honored Abby that way. But now ya won't call her by her name."

Michaela nodded, realizing what he said was true. "I try…it's just…"

"I'm not the only one, huh?" He whispered, his body convulsing with chills.

"Sully," Michaela whispered, touching his shoulder. "You're still shivering."

"So are you. What now, doctor?"

Michaela took a deep breath. "Body heat."

For him, his prison was guilt.

For her, her prison was escaping.

But those chains seemed insignificant in the western winter air. Sully held out his hand for hers and pulled her into his arms. She went slowly, letting her hand run up his chilled arm, giving him her heat. His hands ran up and down her back, trying to bring warmth to her icy body. They molded together, skin and blankets creating friction and heat. He took one of her hands in his, blowing hot air into her palm. She returned the gesture, returning the feeling to a numbed soul. As her breathing slowed, his massages became more tender and gentle. He closed his eyes as she slightly parted his blanket and nestled her head against his chest. He could feel her breath on his skin. Being this close to her was too much now that the chill had subsided. Without thinking of the consequences, he pulled her in and placed a soft kiss on her exposed shoulder.

"Sully!" She pulled away from him immediately. The rain raged down around the wagon, and Sully sank back into himself, reality as loud as thunder.

"I'm sorry—I—" Michaela saw what he was doing, retreating, back into his guilt, and pulled him back towards her.

"No," she whispered, making him look at her in the eyes. "I know." She exhaled and admitted, barely audible above the rain, "I feel it too."

Slowly, she eased closer to him. Unsure of what she was about to do, Sully held his breath. Her lips pressed tenderly against the pulse of his neck.

She pulled away, tears in her eyes. Everything she wanted was right here, in this moment. And she couldn't have it.

"There's something I have to tell you, Sully."

Chapter 13

"What is it, Michaela?" Sully touched the sides of her face as she closed her eyes in self-recrimination. "Ya can tell me anythin'."

"I'm… I'm not the woman you think I am."

"I don't understand."

"Everything you said this morning…the things you saw when you were gone…that's not really me, Sully. I'm just pretending to be a great doctor, mother and woman." Her head dropped, and she buried it in the crook of his neck. "I'm…terrified of failing again. Of failing _Abagail_."

"Michaela…what could ya have done that ya would think I would ever doubt ya?"

Michaela looked out to the stormy sky and whispered, "I killed someone."

_**October 28, 1858**_

"Mom-ma! I want my mah—" Caroline's jaw tightened as Dr. Quinn pulled her back. She convulsed rapidly in Michaela's arms, drool falling from her mouth as the seizure continued.

"I need that morphine now!" Dr. Mike screamed at the attending nurse, who had been standing idly by, watching the child suffer, instead of helping Michaela calm her.

Caroline suddenly pulled on Michaela's hair, her blind eyes glazed with hysteria. "Don't take her away from me—don't take momma away from—"

Michaela was jolted by the girl's strength and violence.

"I'm right here, sweetheart," Michaela lied to the child, settling her jerking head against her chest. "They haven't taken me anywhere."

"Momma?" She loosened her fingers from Michaela's hair and slid them to her face. Caroline's body calmed, her jaw finally relaxing, releasing the inside of her bloody cheek.

"That's right, Momma's here," Michaela assured her. The nurse reentered, and to her surprise, David was right behind her.

"Allow me," David said hoarsely. He administered the shot into her arm quickly as Michaela held her still. "That's a good girl."

David held his arms out for the child. Normally David steered away from the children's ward. Michaela reluctantly gave him the girl and watched as he cradled her head and gently laid her back down in the bed. As he pulled the covers to her chin, Caroline latched onto his hand, and he hesitantly took it in his.

Michaela glanced at David, but his eyes were on Caroline. She had never seen him like this. When they worked together, David was always so detached from the patient—brilliant, but detached. She turned back to Caroline, and they sat silently together until her breathing told of a deep sleep.

"What are you doing for her?" he asked.

"The mercury didn't work. I'm at a loss, David." Michaela shook her head dejectedly.

"There isn't anything else?" He pressed.

"There are some new supplements available, but they haven't been tested yet. My father feels it would be too dangerous to experiment on a child." Michaela sat back in the chair, thinking. "If only we knew who her parents were, then maybe we could get permission—"

"You won't find them," David said quickly.

"How did you know that?"

David stood up from the bed, suddenly enraged. "You can find these things out, Michaela. Not all orphans come from no name guttersnipes—"

Michaela's eyes widened. She had never seen him lose his temper before. "I didn't mean to imply that, David."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you." He exhaled, trying to force the tension away. "The father is deceased and the mother…"

"What?"

David walked to the window at the other end of the room and looked out. "She's in an asylum."

"An asylum? David—"

He turned back to her, fervor and certainty in his voice, "You are a good doctor. You can do this."

"What does that matter if there's no answer?" Michaela covered her face with her hands.

"Maybe there is," David said hopefully.

Michaela stood up. She had made her choice. "I'm going to go find her mother."

David's eyes went to Caroline's sleeping form. "Are you sure you want to do that?"

"Yes, I do." David turned his back to her.

"Alright then." David said softly.

"Did ya find her mother?" Sully questioned.

"I can hardly describe what it was like. She couldn't speak to me. Her face was blank, impassive." Michaela closed her eyes at the memory. The mother was so like Caroline; it was jarring.

"So what did ya do?"

Michaela looked at Sully, wondering if he would be able to understand, wondering if he would judge her. He was so quiet now. She couldn't read him, so she simply continued her story, "That night I went back to the hospital. She—she had broken out with a new fever. I gave her quinine, but I wanted to do more. I knew we were trying everything."

"You gave her those untested drugs, didn't ya?" Sully whispered.

Michaela nodded, unable to make eye contact with him. "It was in direct defiance of my father's wishes. When I came to the hospital the next morning, Caroline was dead."

"What did your father say?"

A few moments past. Michaela didn't want to cry. "He didn't say anything. That was the worst part, Sully. But every other doctor in the hospital, men who had avoided the case, came down on both me and my father. I could hardly look my father in the eye. It changed everything between us. To spare father I quit working at the hospital. Eventually I stopped working with him all together, because he was losing patients. He protested. He protested everything, but I couldn't do that to him. So David…" Sully's arms tightened as she mentioned his name. "David was the only one to stand by me, and I ended up depending on him…maybe too much."

Sully nodded. He had known something wasn't right between them, now he was sure of it. "Do ya still depend on him?"

Michaela shook her head slowly. "Things changed when we came to Colorado Springs… He changed."

Sully took her hand and leaned as close to her as he possibly dared. "Do ya love him?"

Michaela ground her teeth, angry at herself. "It doesn't matter. I'm still engaged to him."

Sully made her look at him. "It _does_ matter. Engagements are broken everyday. Ya heart is your own. It's time for you to take it back, Michaela. Do ya love him?"

His face was so close, and she could do nothing but tell him the truth. "No."

"Ok." Sully exhaled, relief washing over him, pushing him to make his next statement. "I don't believe ya killed that child, Michaela."

Michaela's mouth dropped. "But I'm the one who gave her the medicine—"

"Medicine that has never been tested, am I right?"

"Yes."

"Michaela, ya need to think. Could anyone else have given her something? Who all was involved with this case?"

Michaela thought for a moment. "Just me and my father—and David that last day I told you about."

_David._ Sully didn't like or trust the man, but he wanted to be careful with his accusations. "Ya said David was actin' different that day, Michaela."

Michaela narrowed her eyes at Sully. "What are you suggesting, Sully?"

Sully never thought he would tell her this, but it was time she new exactly what kind of man David was. "The night Abagail was born, and I gave you permission to cut—David said somethin' to me."

Michaela looked in Sully's eyes. She knew she didn't want to hear it. She swallowed. "What did he say?"

"He said 'maybe your scalpel would slip'…" Sully couldn't finish the thought as Michaela pulled away from him, disgusted. Her stomach lurched at the insinuation, and she quickly got up from the warmth and safety of the wagon and ran out into the freezing rain.

Sully jumped up, dropping his blanket as he chased after her.

Michaela fell to her knees a little ways from the wagon, her head circled over her body as she vomited. In trying to escape her past, she had tied herself to it. David's words rang in her ears as she remembered all the times he had taken care of her, supported her, and now after everything, for him to say something so vile and inhumane?

Sully's hands were on her shoulders, pulling her hair away from her face, but all she could feel was the bile in her throat, running through her body. One hand moved to the center of her back, rubbing her as she let go of everything. Finally she stopped. Her body began to collapse, but Sully pulled her back against him and picked her up in his arms. She clung tightly to Sully's chest, her eyes unseeing, horrified by what she had learned.

He quickly carried her back to the wagon, the rain showering his nude skin, chilling him to the bone. He briefly looked at Abagail and Robert E, who had remained asleep despite the disturbance. Abagail had rolled over a bit, and she was nestled into Robert E's side.

Sully quickly grabbed his blanket, and went to Michaela. He didn't know what to do for her. She was broken. She finally looked at him in the darkness, shaking in her wet blanket. "Sully… I didn't… I would have never hurt Abby. You have to know that."

Sully lied down beside her. "I know that. I told ya I trusted ya, and I meant that. I only told ya that because I wanted ya to see David clearly. I know we ain't got any proof, but we're going to figure this all out. I promise."

"But why would he do something like that? It doesn't make any sense, Sully." Michaela shook her head, a million thoughts running through her mind.

"I don't know. We're not gonna figure it out tonight. But as soon as we get to Boston, I'm going to help ya clear your name."

Michaela threw her arms around Sully's neck, hugging him. "Thank you, Sully." Sully held her to him, the wet blanket cold against his skin. Michaela pulled back quickly and turned, suddenly sneezing. "Oh, I shouldn't have run out in the rain."

"We shouldn't do lots of things. I shouldn't have stayed away so long." He brushed a drop of water away from her forehead. "Share my blanket?"

"Sully…" Michaela blushed profusely, her consciousness returning, thankful the mask of night was on her face.

"It's what the Cheyenne do."

"The Cheyenne have clothes on, Sully."

"These are extreme circumstances, Michaela." Sully ran his hands up and down her wet blanket, holding her shoulders.

"I'm…I'm fine," she stammered.

"Ya not fine. Look. I won't touch ya. I won't even look at ya for the rest of the night. Stop bein' so stubborn."

"I'm not stubborn! Just…keep your back turned." Sully did as she asked. He could hear her moving behind him, and slowly, lifting the blanket.

Michaela froze as she saw the outline of his back. Defined. Masculine. Maybe she was better off dying from hypothermia. Just as she was about to let her eyes wonder lower, Sully coughed.

"What are ya doin'?"

"Nothing." Michaela quickly crawled underneath the blanket, pulling it all the way up to her chin. She had never been this close to a man before. Despite her innate modesty, she couldn't stop the anxious excitement she felt. She was both scared and curious at the same time. Sleep was out of the question. "Sully?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you." Michaela reached out and touched his upper back lightly. Letting her fingers linger longer than she intended, it gave Sully a chance to reach over his shoulder, and put his hand over hers.

"Ya welcome." When she didn't pull her hand away, Sully laced his fingers with hers. Slowly, so not to frighten her, he brought her hand around his back, and placed their joined hands over his heart.

Like the feelings building up inside her, she didn't recognize them, or really understand what they meant. So she whispered the only thing that could express it, "Emo'onahe."

Sully smiled knowingly in the darkness, squeezed her hand, and whispered back, "Nemehotâtse, Emo'onahe."

The storm continued on through the night, yet Sully and Michaela finally found peace.

Chapter 14

Her neck was stiff and the sun was shining in her eyes. Abagail huffed at the morning. She peeked through her right eyelid at Robert E. He was so funny, snoring away. She really liked him. When she rolled over to her other side, her left eye popped open in surprise.

She blinked again, shocked at the picture in front of her.

"Oh my GOODNESS!"

Mama and Mr. Sully were fast asleep—unabashedly in each other's arms. Abagail turned around and began poking Robert E in the gut.

"Robert E! Hey! Robert E!" She whispered loudly. "Wake up!"

Robert E came to quickly, shaking his head back and forth as if someone had poured water on top of him. "What is it, Abagail?"

"_Look_!" Abagail pointed to Michaela and Sully. When Robert E did, he quickly looked away, embarrassed to witness such an intimate moment between a man and a woman.

"Oh…Abagail. I think we best let ya ma and pa have their privacy when they wake up." Robert E swiftly hurried Abagail out of the protection of the wagon and took her hand in his.

"But what happened to der clothes?" Abagail asked innocently, looking up at him.

"They got 'em wet, remember? They just didn't want to catch cold." Robert E said reasonably, although as a worldly man he knew there was much more going on than just keeping warm between those two.

Michaela had never felt so warm or protected in her life. She didn't know at one point she fell asleep, but wake slowly pushed the dreams away. The soft bed she lay upon slowly began to take form, until the hard muscles of his chest, torso, abs, and thighs pressed firmly against hers.

Sully had been awake for the past ten minutes. He hadn't dared to move and was now eternally grateful to Robert E for taking Abagail for a walk. He didn't know how to wake Michaela up in this compromising position. He didn't want to embarrass or scare her—not after everything they had said to each other last night. He wanted her to know that he respected her. He had no idea how they got like this, but he couldn't help admit how wonderful her body felt pressed against his.

When he heard her steady breathing catch in her throat, he immediately shut his eyes again.

Michaela turned her head slowly to look at his face, praying to God he was still asleep. Michaela stopped holding her breath when she saw that his eyes were closed. He looked so peaceful, as a small smile played on his lips.

"Are you awake?" she whispered nervously, making sure. Sully, hearing the tremble in her voice, didn't answer her. Michaela looked over to see a missing Abagail and Robert E, so she slowly disengaged herself from his body, the warmth abandoning her as she slipped out from under the blanket and quickly reached for her camisole and pantaloons. After dressing faster than she ever had in her life, Michaela quickly ran out in the field to look for Robert E and Abagail. At least that's what she told herself.

As soon as she was gone, Sully opened his eyes, rolled over, and growled into his hands with restrained need, "Michaela."

"What are ya doin'?" Rose had been avoiding David for the last couple of days, but now she found herself standing inside his tent, watching him stuff his backpack with all of his possessions.

David's hair had grown longer and his eyes were blood shot with pain. "I'm leaving, Rose. I can't do this anymore."

Her eyes widened in shock. "Ya desertin'?"

His laughter was unhinged. "I suppose that's what they call it."

She stepped forward, grabbing his arm. "David, they _hang_ deserters—"

He pushed her off of him. "I'll risk it."

She shook her head, heated confusion in her voice. "What for!"

He looked out at nothing, lost. "Someone needs me."

"Catch me, Robert E!" Abagail giggled as she ran back towards the loaded wagon. Robert E huffed behind her, completely out of breath. Michaela slowly trailed behind them, smiling at the workout that Miss Sully was giving Robert E.

Sully turned around and smiled at the pair. Despite his failing as a father, his little girl seemed genuinely happy. "Wagon's ready," he called to them. Hopefully they could make good time today and make it to St. Louis by tomorrow afternoon. Sully caught Michaela's eye as she followed them. He smiled timidly, and she looked down, her cheeks turning a bright pink.

Before Sully could decide what to do about Michaela, Abagail came bounding into his leg. "I win! I win!" she called back to Robert E triumphantly.

Sully chuckled and bent down to her level, scooping her in his arms. "Congratulations, babygirl."

Abagail shook her head at him. "_Big_ girl." He had so much to learn.

They were making great time, and the trip was relatively uneventful for the rest of the day. That was the problem. At least in Abagail's mind. Mama and Mr. Sully weren't talking. At all. Robert E had answered every question Abagail could possibly have, and silence just didn't suit Miss Sully.

Abagail slid off of Sully's lap and scooted in the small space in between her parents. She looped one arm through Sully's and one arm through Michael's and took a deep breath.

"Where do babies come fwom?" she asked loudly, breaking Michaela and Sully out of their mutually consumed dazes.

"What!" Michaela and Sully said simultaneously. Michaela was so shocked she pulled on the reigns and stopped Bongo and Emo'onahe in their tracks. Abagail repeated the question, which instigated a low rumble of laughter from the back of the wagon.

"Isn't she a little young to be askin' stuff like that?" Sully whispered over her head to Michaela.

Before Michaela could respond, Abagail taped his leg and whispered harshly, "_Big_ girl!"

"Ok…" Michaela shook the reigns, as she tried to find the right words. "Well, when… uh…"

"A man and a woman—" Sully pitched in, adjusting in the seat, totally unprepared for this subject matter.

"A husband and a wife—" Michaela corrected, glaring at him, "love each other very much—"

"That love is so powerful that it makes a baby." Michaela grinned at his explanation. She knew it might work on most three year olds, but not Abagail.

Abagail frowned. "But how come ya deliver all dose babies, Mama? How do they get in da tummies?"

Robert E was crying at this point. He had answered a lot of questions, but none of them had been like this.

"Well…" Sully began, scratching his head. "The man and the woman hold each other real close and—"

Abagail's eyes sparked in recognition. "Like you and mama did this mornin'?"

Sully's face turned crimson red, and he quickly looked to Michaela who looked positively mortified. Abagail, not seeing anything wrong with what she said, simply asked again, "Well?"

Robert E, suddenly feeling terrible for the two of them, jumped in and said, "Hey kiddo. It ain't like that. They was cold, remember? And sometimes you hold someone when ya really cold too."

"Oh…" Abagail nodded at Robert E. She looked back and forth between her mama and Mr. Sully. They both looked kind of upset. What did she say? She bit her lip and slowly let go of their arms. "I think I go sit in da back with Robert E for a while."

_**Janaury 8, 1863—The Battle of Springfield **_

After they reached Jefferson City, the trip became anything but uneventful. Confederate brigades blocked the city, and the only way around them was to bypass it, traveling south, closer to the war zone of Springfield.

"Do ya hear that?" Sully pulled up on the reigns.

"It sounds like thunder." Michaela gripped the edge of the wagon.

Sully shook his head, knowing the difference. "No, it's gunfire. We ain't goin' this way. I ain't riskin' ya lives like that. We'll just have to deal with the Rebels."

Michaela grabbed the reigns from him. "Sully—what about Robert E?"

"We'll hide 'em. Don't worry, Michaela. We're gonna get there. All of us."

At midnight, two Confederate officers stood watch at the blockade between Jefferson City and Washington. Sully slowly drove the wagon closer. Michaela looked at him with watery eyes. God, she hoped this worked. Their lives depended on it.

The soldier halted the wagon and looked hard at them.

"Where are ya headin'?" the soldier asked.

"St. Louis," Sully answered solemnly, thickening his drawl.

"Mind if we inspect the back of ya wagon?" the soldier asked, looking back at the supplies and the sheets covering it.

"If ya feel ya must," Michaela tearfully mimicked Sully's Southern drawl.

The soldier lifted the part of the blanket that wasn't covered with supplies. "Oh dear God!" he exclaimed.

Abagail was lying perfectly still, with her eyes and mouth wide open. The officer looked closer at the little girl, but she still didn't move a muscle. He took off his hat, and looked apologetically at Sully and Michaela.

"Why I'm so sorry." Sully and Michaela nodded.

"The influenza," Michaela conceded quietly. Upon hearing that, the officer backed away quickly, and covered Abagail again.

"Well, why don't you folks hurry on then. My prayers are with ya." Sully and Michaela graciously nodded and drove off into the darkness.

After they were a good distance away from the blockade, the blanket came flying off and Abagail popped up. "How'd I do!"

"Hey!" Robert E exclaimed from underneath all the supplies. "Get me out and then get yo praise!"

Abagail giggled and began digging Robert E out from underneath all the rubble.

Sully shook his head and looked over to Michaela. Her lips were trembling and silent tears were coming down her face. "Hey, ya don't have to cry anymore. We got through."

"I know. She just…reminded me of Abby for a moment. Being theatrical like that. I almost believed her."

Sully reached across and touched her hand. "She's fine, Michaela. You don't have to worry about Abagail so much."

Abagail burst forward, in between them. "That was fun! Let's do it again."

Sully, Michaela and Robert E laughed. Michaela wiped the annoying tears away and brought Abagail into her lap. It was going to be alright. They would drive through the night and hit St. Louis tomorrow. Soon she would be in Boston with her father. Soon her life would be different. Soon.

Chapter 15

**_St. Louis, Missouri—January 9, 1863_**

In the early morning, with Sully holding the reigns behind her, Abagail drove into the outskirts of St. Louis. Michaela, who had been awake all night, had reluctantly nodded off on Sully's shoulder.

Abagail glanced beside her, looking at her mother's tired face. "Poor Mama."

"Keep your eyes on the reigns, Abby," Sully instructed, despite his loose grip on them with his other hand.

"Ya like her doncha, Mr. Sully," Abagail stated matter-of-factly.

"Yeah I do," he answered simply, his arm gently around Michaela.

"How come…how come ya not marriwed?" All the other kids' ma's and pa's were married. Why weren't hers?

There were a thousand reasons why they weren't. Only one reason made any sense though. "Because the time ain't been right."

Abagail considered his answer and asked, "Because my angel mama?"

Sully wondered if Abagail would ever really understand who her real mother was. No matter how well Michaela had explained it, Abby had simply become a story to the little girl. So Sully answered simply, "Yeah, and other grown-up reasons."

"I think she likes ya too." Abagail scrunched her face, contemplatively. "Well, I thought she did. At home, she talked bout ya all de time, but she gets vewy quiet and red a lot with ya 'round." Sully shook his head, blushing himself. His child needed a censor label.

All of a sudden, cannon fire shot across the sky from Benton Barracks, a Union camp and hospital base. Shocked, Abagail released the reigns and covered her ears. Losing tension in the reigns, the spooked horses began to speed up, wobbling the wheels of the wagon.

Michaela and Robert E immediately woke up. Sully tried to regain control of the horses, but the front right wheel began to crack, and before he could warn them, the wagon came crashing down.

Michaela rolled over quickly. Luckily, she landed on dirt, and after sitting up slowly, she knew she would be alright, short of a few cuts and minor bruises.

Robert E got up next to her, the wind knocked out of him. "Are you ok?" she asked hurriedly.

"Nothin' that I can't live with." He bent over, trying to catch his breath.

"Sully! Abagail!" Michaela screamed out.

There was no answer at first, but after a moment, Abagail's cries made it over the slope of grass. "Mr. Sully? Wake up, Mr. Sully!"

Michaela ran to her voice, where Abagail was hovering over an unconscious Sully. The little girl was shaking him, trying to revive him. Michaela dropped down to her knees. "No, sweetheart. We don't want to shake him like that. He might have had a concussion."

"NO!" Abagail cried. Robert E walked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders.

"Sully," Michaela said forcefully, running her fingers through his hair, finding a nasty swelling on the back of his head. She put her ear to his nose and mouth. "He's breathing. It's shallow, but he's breathing."

Michaela smoothed his hair back and brought his head into her arms. "Wake up, Sully. Come on, you can do it."

"What happens if he don't wake up right away?" Robert E asked urgently.

Michaela didn't look away from Sully. "We'll need to get him to a hospital. He could have a severe brain injury or worse."

Abagail's eyes widened in horror, and she wiggled out of Robert E's grasp, falling down next to Sully. "No! Wake up, _Papa_! Papa! Papa! Wake up!"

Michaela's throat tightened as she watched her little girl. Sully's little girl. Their little girl. She only hoped that Sully would be able to hear her, and even more so, hear those words.

When Sully didn't move, Michaela gestured to Robert E. "Alright, we'll have to carry him to the Barracks."

As Robert E moved around to his other side, Sully began to moan. "Ab-gail—"

Abagail stepped forward as Michaela cradled him in her arms. "Papa!"

"That's it, Sully. Listen to Miss Sully's voice, and come back to us." Michaela kissed his cheek, forgetting momentarily that Robert E and Abagail were there. Sully gradually opened his eyes, first seeing Michaela, then he swiftly found Abagail, who had a small smile growing on her face.

"I heard ya," he whispered, his voice shaking slightly.

Abagail stepped forward and whispered in his ear cheekily, not one to be caught being sentimental. "Don't we gotta train to catch, Papa?"

They certainly did.

By the time they reached the train station on foot, everyone was exhausted, especially Sully. Michaela feared that he had suffered from a concussion, so she had to keep him awake and stimulated. This was going to be a long night.

After Michaela tended to everyone's cuts and scrapes, Abagail curled in a corner of the train compartment and passed out. Robert E, who had offered earlier to stay awake with Sully, had dozed off alongside Abagail.

"What traitors," Sully shook his head and watched as Michaela organized all of her ointments. As she rolled up one of her sleeves, a nasty scratch lined the length of her arm. Sully instantly reached for it.

"Michaela," he examined the wound, concerned.

"It's nothing, Sully." She tried to take her arm back, but he wouldn't let her.

"Hey, ya helped me. Now let me help ya." Michaela looked in his eyes. Trust. That's exactly what he was asking of her. To trust him. She had been so blind before, and now, when she was with a man that she truly felt she could trust, giving it to him was all the more difficult.

He took the salve that she had rubbed on his scrapes and put some on his fingers. His touch was feather light. She didn't dare to look at him, for she knew he would see her heart racing in every vein in her body.

"There," he said huskily, sleep in his voice. "Now I can rest easier."

Michaela jumped forward and took his face in her hands. "Sully, you can't sleep. Look at me. Let me see your eyes."

His pupils were dilated. She needed to get him on his feet. "Put your arms around me, Sully. Let's go for a walk."

They walked to the very end of the train, walking past corridors of Union soldiers. The war was inescapable. Michaela caught their eyes, and she couldn't help but wonder if the next pair would be David. She hadn't heard from him in fives months. And after hearing what he told Sully, she hoped she never would.

Sully bent forward, leaning against the railing. "I'm so tired, Michaela."

"I know," she put her hand on his back, rubbing it. "It's just for a few more hours, Sully."

He turned his head, sighing. "Talk to me."

She smoothed his hair down, letting the loose locks run between her fingers. "About what?"

He closed his eyes, smiled, and opened them again. "Anything."

Michaela stepped back and leaned against the wall of the train. She looked out to the retreating tracks, remembering. "When I was a little girl, just about Abagail's age, I didn't understand why my father was never there to tuck me in at night. It was always my mother. So one night, after dinner, I didn't go straight to bed. Instead, I followed my father to the hospital. And when my father came to the front steps of the hospital, he stopped. He didn't even turn around and he said, 'Well, aren't you coming in?'"

Sully grinned, imagining Michaela as a little girl. "You were a doctor even then."

"I mostly watched, but eventually my father let me help with bandaging and dispensing medication."

"And the rest is history."

Michaela's smile faded, replaced by haunted anxiety. She nodded, turning away from him. "Yes."

Sully reached out and touched her arm. "Hey, ya gonna be fine."

Michaela crossed her arms over her chest. "Sully, I've been living with what I did for years. It's my father. He's sick, and I'm so afraid we're not going to get there in time."

Sully stepped closer, standing behind her and whispered in her ear, "Even if we don't, I know he loves you."

Michaela could feel his breath on her hair and neck. "How do you know that?"

"Because he didn't want to let you go when you left. I know how that feels." Michaela turned around, meeting those crystal blue eyes, waiting for her. The same eyes that had told her to leave three years ago. The same eyes that were asking her to come closer now. Sully watched her intently, but slowly leaned his head against the wall, his eyes beginning to shutter.

Michaela, seeing that sleep was about to overpower him, took his head in her hands, slapping him a little. "Wake up."

Sully opened his eyes but closed them again just as quickly. "No, Sully!" Michaela gripped his cheeks firmly and brought his lips down to hers.

Sully's senses immediately kicked in, and he brought his hands up to her face, returning her kiss soundly, his lips moving between hers, until she tentatively opened her mouth to him. Michaela held onto Sully, her body beginning to shake as their kisses grew more urgent. They pulled away at the same moment, needing to separate, needing air.

"I'm awake," Sully breathed hoarsely. Michaela swallowed, touching her swollen lips.

"Perhaps we should go check on Abagail?" She suggested breathlessly.

Unable to speak anymore, he followed her back into the cabin. He needed to sit down.

**_Richmond, Virginia-- train station_**

He stepped up to the ticket booth, dressed in tattered clothes.

"Where will you be traveling today, sir?"

David pulled out two crisp bills and placed it on the counter. "Boston."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 16

"Pittsburg!" The train conductor bellowed down the corridor, jerking Michaela from her doze. She quickly looked down in her lap, where Sully had unceremoniously passed out. His head was heavy on her legs, and she cursed herself for falling asleep.

"Sully!" She shook him fiercely. "Sully, wake up!"

She leaned over him, slapping his face urgently. Abruptly, Sully sat up, hitting Michaela's forehead in his haste.

"Twain weck," jibbed Abagail from across the car, who seemed to be wide awake and completely amused by the situation.

Michaela and Sully held their heads and glared at the snickering imp.

"Don't joke like that, Abby," Sully admonished.

Abagail's eyes widened as Sully scolded her for the first time. She looked to Michaela, but Michaela didn't overrule him. When she didn't get her way, Abagail's eyes brimmed and welled over with tears. "I sorry," she mumbled, before getting up and running out of the cabin.

"Oh no," Michaela groaned as Abagail slammed the door behind her, waking Robert E from his slumber. Sully immediately jumped up to chase after her, but Michaela stopped him. "Your head, Sully. You shouldn't be running. Not yet. Let me go."

"I'll go with ya," Robert E jumped up. "She can't have gone far. Short legs and all."

"Alright, alright. I'll wait here. See if she comes back." Michaela and Robert E ran out of the cabin, Michaela racing to the back of the train and Robert E to the front of the train. Sully groaned and began pacing the length of the cabin, waiting.

David avoided eye contact with the Union soldiers as they passed him on the planks in the train station. He still felt like his uniform was on his body, as if it was permanently stained on him, and if he glanced at them in a certain way, they would know what he had done.

He quickly jumped on his connecting train to Boston, steering clear of two lieutenants coming his way.

He walked towards the front of the train, but the cabins were full, mostly with soldiers, which only made him move faster. Finally, an empty cabin appeared, and he slipped inside, finally allowing himself to breathe.

Just as he got comfortable, a soft whimpering rose from underneath his seat. He leaned over, and to his astonishment, a little girl with curly brown hair was crying into her arms.

Michaela ran back to the cabin, fear clearly in her eyes now. "She wasn't anywhere in the back, Sully. Oh God…what if she got off of the train?" 

"She wouldn't do that—" Sully shook his head, ignoring his innate feeling that something was wrong.

"You hardly know her, Sully! You _don't know_ what she would do!" Michaela cried, her panic turning into anger.

Stung and shocked by her words, Sully stepped back. "Abagail _ain't_ Caroline, Michaela. We ain't gonna lose her!"

Slow tears streamed down her face as she whispered with bitter familiarity, "You can't promise me that."

"Abagail!" Robert E called down corridor. "Answer me, Abagail!"

Abagail looked at David and motioned from him to be quiet. David frowned at the little girl, but when the frantic man came to the door of the cabin, David sat up and managed a fast, nonchalant facade.

"'Cuse me, have ya seen a little girl, about three years old, pass by?" Robert E asked quickly.

"Unfortunately, no. I just boarded the train." David nodded to the man as he continued running down the corridor, eventually moving to the next car.

"Thank ya," Abagail mumbled.

"You're welcome. You're awfully young to be deserting the war," David leaned back against the chair, his eyes glazed over.

Abagail slowly poked her head out and looked at the man. He seemed nice enough, maybe a little dirty, and a little strange to think she was a soldier, but nice. "I—I gotta get home to my gwandpa. He's sick."

"So what are you doing under there?" David asked, raising his eyebrow at her.

Abagail wracked her brain, thinking of all the times Brian made her play war with him. Maybe this man wanted to play too. "I hidin' from da—da loo-tenant and da gen'ral," she said seriously.

"Ah…" David observed. He tried to smile at the little girl. He had never been good around children, but there was something very familiar about her. Maybe it was only her fugitive status, he didn't know. "What did they do to make a pretty little girl like you so upset?" 

"Da gen'ral's…new. And he gave me an order."

"And you didn't like that?"

"I dunno. It's weird havin' a pa," she slipped, reality breaking into her imagination. As he heard her words, he closed his eyes, unable to focus, or to see anything clearly. The girl's image became distorted, and he blinked rapidly as he tried to see who she was.

"Did you ever think that it might be strange for him to have a daughter?" David asked rapidly, agitation clear in his voice.

"No," she shook her head, her lip pouting slightly.

"Your father would love you if he could, but he can't." David rubbed his eyes hard, trying to concentrate. It was her; he knew it was her. He could feel it. Abagail crawled out from underneath the seat, scooting to the other side of the cabin.

"He does wuv me," she protested, now feeling very uncomfortable in this man's presence.

"But he never told you, did he!" David screamed, wrenching his hands from his face, revealing bloodshot eyes. Abagail pushed herself to her knees. She had to get out of there.

But David saw her leaving again, her saw her slipping away from his grasp; and he reached out to her, trying to hold on to what he had lost. "_Don't go, Caroline_!"

Abagail burst through the doorway and ran out into the hallway as the train began to move.

"My daughter might have run off the train," Michaela pleaded, "Please, wait just a few more minutes."

"I'm sorry, m'am." The conductor shook his head. "The train has a strict schedule. If she's off the train, you're more than welcome to stay behind and look for her."

Michaela jumped off the train and ran around the platform, yelling Abagail's name. The engine of the train roared, and the wheels slowly began to roll.

Abagail ran down the corridors. Seeing two faces would be her only comfort. "Papa! Mama!" she yelled, as she reached their car. "Papa!" 

Sully ran out into the hallway, his little girl halfway to his arms. He immediately went to her, lifting her up in his arms. "We didn't think we'd find ya."

"I sorry, Papa." Abagail hugged tightly to his neck.

"It's ok. It's gonna take some time to get use to this father-daughter stuff." Abagail nodded, and Sully gave her a peck on the cheek. 

All of a sudden, the horn blew, and Sully's stomach dropped. Michaela wasn't on the train.

Sully held tight to Abagail and ran down the corridor, weaving in and out of the new passengers. When they got to an open door, Sully leaned out as far as he could and screamed her name, "_Michaela! Michaela_!" 

_Michaela._ David heard her name. He thought he heard her name. But his head and eyes were pounding, and Caroline was gone. She ran away. But if Michaela found her, Michaela would smile again. Michaela would love him for bringing her back. Michaela would forgive him. 

But that wasn't right. David shook his head again, trying to breathe. Michaela was in Colorado Springs, waiting for him, like she promised. She wasn't here. She wouldn't see him like this. She wouldn't see any of this.

David reached in his backpack, fumbling for what he needed. His fingers trembled as they made contact with the glass tube, and he gripped it, bringing it out into the light. Now he would have his relief. Now he could forget for a moment and dream.

He rolled his right sleeve up. He extracted the clear liquid into a syringe. The shot was quick.

His breathing slowed as the drug went through his body. The syringe fell to the ground as his eyes closed.

And as it always happened, she appeared before him, as a girl of fourteen, running together through the gardens of his father's estate. "_Wait for me, Suzanne! Wait for me_!"

Michaela, near crazed at the other end of the platform, turned to Sully's voice, seeing Abagail in his arms. "Oh God," she realized. "Wait for me, Sully!"

She began to run down the platform, pushing past soldiers and officers. Sully took off down the corridor, heading towards the back of the train.

"What if she don't make it, Papa?" Abagail asked worriedly as they pushed into the last car.

"She'll make it. We ain't leavin' ya ma behind," Sully answered more confidently than he felt.

Michaela jumped onto the train tracks. She would never make it on the crowded platforms.

"What the hell is she doing?" A voice exclaimed from the crowd, bringing attention to Michaela.

Sully pushed through the door and put Abagail down on her feet. Michaela was about twenty feet away. He climbed over the railing, holding on with one hand and reaching out to Michaela with the other.

The train began to pick up speed, as Michaela reached out for Sully's hand. "Come on, Michaela…" Sully's eyes melded into hers. "I won't let ya fall—"

"Sully!" She stretched herself, almost touching his fingers.

"That woman is going to kill herself!" Another voice came from the platform.

"Ya can do it, Mama!" Abagail called through the railing.

And suddenly, with every fiber of strength Michaela had in her body, she lifted her skirts up and sprinted until she firmly grasped Sully's hand. He picked her up until she got her footing on edge. He climbed over the railing first, and then lifted her over in his arms.

Sully didn't let go of Michaela. That was too close. He kept a firm arm around her waist as she tried to collect her breath. Abagail stepped up sheepishly in front of her mother.

"I sorry," she hugged Michaela's legs. "I didn't mean to scare ya."

Michaela could only nod. She picked Abagail up and hugged her. "Oh sweetheart. Don't ever do that again. I know you're still confused and upset right now, but don't ever run away from me or your father. Let's talk about our problems, not run away from them, alright?" 

Abagail nodded and brought her arm around Sully's neck too. Her thoughts suddenly went to the strange man in the train, and she couldn't help but think about his words. She pulled back and looked at both of her parents. 

"I wuv you," she said simply. Michaela's face softened and some of her worry left. Sully didn't really know what to say until Abagail added, "Bof of you."

Sully smiled and glanced at Michaela, who was beaming at him. He looked back to Abagail and whispered nervously, "Nemehotâtse."

Abagail scrunched her face, flabbergasted, and asked, "What does dat mean?" 

"It means I love ya too, silly goose." Abagail giggled, completely missing the look passing between her mother and her father.

"Ya could have just said so!" Abagail jumped down from Michaela's arms and walked back inside the train. When she was halfway down the corridor, she realized that her parents weren't behind her.

She turned around curiously and crept back to the door. She gently opened it and slowly peeked outside. To her surprise, her papa was kissing her mama. She covered her mouth, trying not to giggle. She had never seen anyone kiss like that, but they sure seemed to like it. They were kind of sweet together, although Abagail wasn't sure about all this kissing business. She closed the door quietly, not disturbing them. Maybe if they kissed long enough, they'd get married. Abagail looked at the doorknob, and sure enough, there was a key and lock on it. She smoothly turned the key in the lock and pulled it out. She put it in her blouse pocket and ran down the corridor towards their cabin, leaving Sully and Michaela locked out.

Chapter 17

**_Cambridge, Massachusetts—1850_**

David sat in the study, trying to concentrate on his physics lessons to no avail. Suddenly, a commotion came from the entrance hall, and he could hear his father's voice, Reverend Holland Lewis, coming in gentle, comforting tones. Curiosity biting him, David left his studies and stepped into the doorway. He stopped short, as he saw his father's arm around a woman in rags.

The woman lifted her fallen head, and smiled shakily at Reverend Lewis, tears in her eyes. "Thank you so much."

"We'll do all we can for her, Mrs. March," David frowned at their exchange. His father was often helping people, but he didn't usually bring them into the house.

As his father walked Mrs. March to the door, he saw her. Across the room, a girl in tattered clothes curled on the bench, sleeping. He crossed the distance between them. He had never seen anyone so small. Wisps of her hair had fallen in front of her face, so he gently smoothed them away. Upon seeing her face, he realized that she wasn't a little girl. She must be around his age.

"Hey," he whispered, kneeling down beside her. "Hey."

Gradually, her eyes fluttered and slowly revealed two bluish-violet eyes. They were striking in the middle of her pale face, and David didn't notice the girl smirking at him.

"You're staring at me," she whispered.

"I'm sorry." He blushed profusely, looking away quickly. "I didn't mean to—"

"Yes you did." She sat up, looking at him pointedly. She began to sit up, but she stopped, closing her eyes, taking a shaky breath.

"Are you alright?" David sat down beside her, putting his arm around her.

"I'm fine." She moved a way from his touch. "Just a little hungry."

"I believe that, Skinny-legs," The girl glared at him and then punched him in the arm. David stood up, laughing in vain, and rubbed his sore arm. For a puny girl, she had a good arm.

"My name is Suzanne, you jerk!" Suzanne and David glared at each other until Reverend Lewis appeared back in the Entrance Hall.

"David! I see you're being the ever studious scholar."

David stood at attention, completely subservient in his father's presence. "I'm sorry, father. I heard—"

"Nevermind. I don't want to hear your excuses. I see you've met our guest. Suzanne will be staying with us for a while."

"Why!" David asked, forgetting his manners and rubbing his sore arm.

"She is here as God's will. Just the same as you are," his father answered vaguely. "Now since you seem so determined to neglect your studies, I'm leaving you in charge of Suzanne."

"But—"

"Why don't you take her to the kitchen and ask cook to make her something to eat?" His father suggested evenly but sternly.

Reverend Lewis patted Suzanne on the head and walked into his study. As the study door closed, David slowly turned around and glared at Suzanne. She smiled slowly, a cocky, winning grin lighting her face.

_Nemehotâtse_. Michaela could hear Abagail chirping away, but her thoughts centered on one word. One man. Sully's hold tightened around her waist as Abagail pranced to the doorway, oblivious to their inability to move away from each other.

As the door shut, Sully pressed his hand firmly against the small of her back and slid his other hand up the side of her waist. He could feel it all around them—time running away from them, falling behind them like the trampled railroad in the retreating distance.

"You still…" She put her hands on his face, her mouth just below his. As always, an unshakable anxiety crept over her body, when that was the last thing she felt in her heart. She wanted to trust him. She wanted to let him know—she wanted—

Before her fears from the past could override her heart, he covered her lips with his own, letting her know his answer was yes, a thousand times yes, that words weren't necessary, that yes, he would love her through separation, pain, heartache, eternity, yes, he wanted her body, soul, and spirit, that yes, she was strong, beautiful, desirable, that yes, God yes, he still loved her. He had never stopped. Yes.

The train made for unstable footing, so Michaela and Sully clung to each other as their only support. The kiss deepened, and Michaela felt herself melting under his touch. She couldn't punish herself anymore. She loved this man, and she wanted to be with him.

As the train circled a bend, they lost their footing completely and fell back against the door of the train. Michaela's back pressed against the door, and Sully caught himself on either side of her. They stared at each other for a moment, chests swelling, so much unspoken, yet so much now known.

Without thinking of the past or the future, Sully took her face in his hands, holding her in this moment, and whispered, "I want ya to be my wife."

**_Colorado Springs—1873 _**

The sunlight glistened through the trees as they ran down their secret path to the waterfall. A trail of trousers, blouses, skirts, shirts, socks, and shoes fell on the dirt as Abagail and Brian stripped down to their birthday suits before they cannon balled into the water.

Abagail immersed herself under the water, thankful that her first day of seventh grade was over. She'd just assume stay outside all day skinny dipping with Brian.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" he asked, splashing water in her direction.

"I'm thinkin'…me and you…should stage a revolt against Ms. Morales and demand more classes outside." She grinned at him diabolically, her eyes forming her master plan already.

"Don't you take anythin' seriously, Abs?" He shook his head at her, unable to hide his amusement as she made faces at him.

"Sure I do! Like you. I take ya very, very seriously." Abagail began swimming towards him like a shark hunting her prey.

"Oh no ya don't! I know that look!" Brian began swimming towards the waterfall, trying to get away from her clutches. Unfortunately, Abagail was a fast swimmer, and she grabbed his leg and yanked him down beneath the surface of the water.

They tangled underneath the water, tickling each other mercilessly, fighting for domination until the need for oxygen made them both seek air. Bouncing up together, they gasped for air, but Abagail was still not one to give up to a measly boy, so she threw her arms around his neck in order to bring him down again.

But Brian had stopped moving and was simply watching her, a small blush running up the side of his face. Abagail, who was practically roaring with effort, finally stopped moving and noticed the strange expression on his face.

He looked positively ill! "What's the matter with ya?"

Before she could think or move or protest, Brian planted a kiss on her lips. Alarms went off in her head as his lips pressed against hers tentatively, and suddenly she remembered the train, and how her parents looked so happy as they kissed one another….

Suddenly she pushed away from him, her face crimson with anger and sadness. "Don't ever do that again, Brian."

Brian's face dropped as he watched her swim away from him. The waterhole grew very quiet as she ran into the bushes. And he knew that things would never be the same again.

**_Cambridge, Massachusetts--1850_**

As David tried to concentrate on his studies, Suzanne sat beside him, kicking his legs underneath the table. He finally slammed down his pencil and glared at her. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

"No," she smiled saucily.

"Well, why don't you read a book?" he suggested, handing her a newly published novel.

Suzanne stared at the cover, tracing her fingers over the golden inscription. She looked at David nervously, who had gone back to his work. "David?" she whispered.

"What is it now?" He asked, exasperated.

"What does it say?" He stared at her for a moment, not understanding, and then slowly, it came to him. She couldn't read.

"It—it says _The Scarlet Letter_ by Nathaniel Hawthorne," he answered softly. He dropped his pen and watched her as she considered the book.

"What's it about?" She asked, looking at the golden trim that covered the book.

"I haven't read it yet, but supposedly a woman is branded with the scarlet letter." He let his fingers trace over the words on the book. He looked at her between his lashes. She was trying to make sense of the words.

"Why?" Suzanne asked, leaning on her elbows, looking up at him.

"For loving someone she shouldn't," David responded, watching her forehead frown in confusion as she looked at the lettering again.

"I wouldn't mind that," she said after a moment.

"Why's that?" David asked, curious.

"Because I would know, without a doubt, that someone loved me. And he would know too." She turned to the first page of the book. "Wouldn't you be willing to do anything for love, David?"

"I don't know." He shrugged his shoulders. "I've never been in love."

"There's a first time for everything." She turned back to the book. "Will you read it to me?"

"Yes," David said and lifted the book.

For once in her life, Michaela did not stop to think. "I want that too, Sully."

"Marry me," he breathed into her mouth, filling her body with his spirit. "Now."

"Sully!" She laughed self-consciously. "We're on a train! Now isn't—"

"Ya it is. Now is perfect. We've wasted so much time, Michaela. I'm not talkin' about ceremonies or legal documents. I'm talkin' about what's in ya heart and what's in mine. Marry me."

Michaela nodded, understanding, knowing her heart was ready. If she knew anything for certain, it was that she would love him for the rest of her life. "I'll marry you."

He leaned down and kissed her, before taking her hands in his, entwining their fingers together. "I, Byron Sully, take ya Michaela Quinn to be my wife. I will carry ya heart, soul, and spirit with me no matter where ya are. I will love ya, honor ya, and protect ya and will never break ya spirit or ya faith in me. I believe in ya, and I believe that we can do anythin' together. I will never leave ya heart. As long as we both shall live."

Michaela looked at him and knew he was right. This was their moment, and time couldn't stop it. "I have loved you longer than I can even begin to tell you. It wasn't something I could control, but I knew I had to be a part of your life." She let the tears go and smiled at him with bright, hopeful eyes. "I, Michaela Quinn, take you Byron Sully to be my husband. I will carry you—all of you with me no matter what happens in our lives. I love you. God, I love you, and I will honor you, and protect you and will never break your spirit or your faith in me. Thank you for believing in me and showing me that it wasn't too late to believe in myself. We can do anything together because we believe in each other. I will never leave you. All of this, as long as we both shall live."

Sully, shaken with emotion, took her mouth in his, pulling her to him as he tried to maintain control of his desire and passion for this woman, his wife. The train began its ascent up a ridge and Sully knew they needed to get inside—preferably somewhere alone.

He reached for the doorknob, but it wouldn't budge.

As Michaela grew bolder and slid a hand down his chest, tracing his muscles, Sully soon forgot anything about a locked door. He brought his hands up the sides of her ribcage. Barely grazing the edge of her breasts, Michaela shuttered and pulled Sully closer.

Their bodies touched from chest to hips, and as the train began to descend, Sully's body pressed against hers, and slowly their hips began to rock together, until Michaela's head fell back against the door, and she said, "Yes…yes…oh, yes."

Chapter 18

Robert E shuffled down the corridor, sweat dripping from his brow. He hated to come back to the cabin without any good news, but he had looked everywhere on the train twice, to no avail. He took a deep breath before he stepped through the doorway of the cabin.

To his surprise, the only person in the cabin was Abagail, who had her feet up on the seat and fresh lemonade in her hands. "Hi Robert E!" she exclaimed happily, oblivious to his pain and suffering.

"Miss Abagail! Where in the _world_ have ya been?" Abagail swallowed her lemonade and smacked here lips.

"I been right heh! Wheh have ya been?" She looked at him quizzically.

"Lookin' for _you_!" He ran to her and scooped her up in his lap. "Ya scared me and ya ma and pa to death!"

"Oh, they just fine now!" Abagail giggled mischievously. Robert E narrowed his eyes at the little girl.

"Abagail," he said slowly.

"Robert Eeee," she sang sweetly back, holding her laughter inside.

"Where are ya ma and pa?" Abagail bit her lip down guiltily and gripped the key in her blouse pocket, remaining silent under Robert E's scrutinizing gaze.

_**Cambridge, Massachusetts—1850 **_

David and Suzanne sat in front of the fire in the study. He held the book in front of her as he pointed to the words, reading fervently as the tortured lovers in the story reunited. "'Do I feel joy again?' cried he, wondering at himself. 'Methought the germ of it was dead in me! O Hester, thou art my better angel! I seem to have flung myself—sick, sin-stained, and sorrow-blackened—down upon these forest-leaves, and to have risen up all made anew, and with new powers to glorify Him that hath been merciful! This is already the better life! Why did we not find it sooner?"

He stopped for a moment and looked at her, her eyes soft and iridescent in the firelight. She swallowed nervously and put her hand over his. "Let me try."

David nodded and moved closer to her. She held the book in front of her as he pointed to where he had left off. She nodded and peered closely at the words, trying to form the sounds of the letters with her mouth.

"L-let…uh-uh—us…nah—aught… l-luhk… b—back." David could hear the tears in her voice, so he didn't look at her.

When she stopped reading, he turned to her and whispered, "That was perfect. Why did you stop?"

Suzanne shook her head, turning away from him. "No, I sound ignorant. Not like you. I'm nothing like you, David. I don't belong here."

"Yes, you do."

"You didn't think so at first."

"I didn't know you then. I think you're very smart, and I think you can do this. We'll just have to practice together," David said resolutely.

"You'll teach me?" She asked hopefully. David nodded and opened the book again.

"Start here."

"Th-he p-aast is g-uh-ne." She looked at the sentence again. "The past is gone!"

"That's right." David nodded, pushing her, a soft smile lighting his face as she continued.

"Wh-ere…fore shh-ould we l-inger upon it now? See! With this s-symb-bol—" She stopped suddenly, out of breath, and looked at him. Her face had paled slightly but the shine was still in her eyes. "Read the rest of it with me, David."

He nodded and leaned closer to her. Together they read, "With this symbol, I undo it all, and make it as if it had never been!"

Suddenly, David felt her head press against the corner of his shoulder. He could hardly move. Her soft blonde hair felt like angel wings against his neck. He turned to her, but Suzanne was asleep.

He gently took the book out of her hands and laid it on the floor. Slowly, so not to disturb her, he lifted her into his arms and carried her upstairs to her bedroom.

Just as he was about to turn out her light, he stopped, and kissed her forehead. "You are my better angel," he whispered. And with that, he left her to her dreams.

As trees became scarcer with each passing track, Michaela felt as though she were waking from a beautiful dream, and she pushed reality back as long as she could, as waves of love and passion passed over her.

Cotton…Buckskin…Calico…Leather…The material that stood between them had become just as maddening and obtrusive as the chimney stacks that were beginning to line the tracks. Michaela's hand trailed up the side of Sully's neck, needing to touch his skin. Her touch was cool, sending a delicious chill down his spine. In turn, his lips made their way to the delicate skin behind her ear, and slowly, slowly, he kissed her until she was forced to pull on the front of his shirt, breaking the top two buttons…

David jerked from his sleep, not realizing where he was at first. Then suddenly, like a bad dream, it all came back to him. He was going back to Boston, a place he never thought he would return. The war. Michaela. Caroline. Suzanne. But…but…he had seen Caroline, hadn't he? She wasn't dead. She wasn't.

He needed air.

He pushed himself up, his body shaking as he fought for control. He raced down the corridor, pushing past anyone who stood in his way. The train seemed even longer than he remembered. As he pushed into the next car, the door was in sight, and he lunged for the handle, for his release—

"_Michaela_," Sully shivered as her bare hand pressed against his chest. She pulled back, her eyes glazed with desire.

It was a perfect moment.

Suddenly, the past flew at them, and the rattling of the door jerked them away from each other.

The door wouldn't open. He couldn't breathe, and the door wouldn't open. David began to beat on the door with his hand, tears forming in his eyes, blurring his vision. "Let me out of here! Let me out!" He screamed violently.

Robert E and Abagail walked down the corridor, side by side. Robert E was in firm possession of the key now, only after tickling it out of Abagail. "I'm tellin' ya, Robert E, dey gonna be maaad at ya!"

"I think it'll be the other way around, little lady." He shook his head at her as she stuck her tongue out at him. But when they entered the next car, Abagail's face dropped, and she quickly felt for Robert E's hand as they saw the man at the other end of the hallway beating at the door.

"Pick me up peas, Robert E," Abagail asked quietly. Robert E picked up the normally brazen child who now meekly tucked her head under his chin.

"It's ok, sweetheart. Robert E's gotcha." Robert E's eyes widened as he watched the man at the other end of the hall. Something was not right with him.

Michaela and Sully stepped back from the door as they heard the man's cries. "Dear God," Michaela whispered.

Suddenly the conductor came running past Robert E and Abagail. He pulled David back from the door. "Excuse me, sir! You're disturbing the other passengers!"

David grabbed his forehead, his eyes pounding. "Unlock this door now!"

The conductor looked at the lock, realizing that the key was missing. "I apologize, sir. But the key seems to have been misplaced."

"You don't have another key? I need air now!"

"Alright, alright. Why don't you come with me, sir, and we'll open one of the middle doors for you."

David nodded slowly, his energy dispelling.

As David passed them, Abagail buried her face in Robert E's neck, so he wouldn't see her.

Once they were gone, Robert E and Abagail walked quickly to the door and unlocked it.

Michaela and Sully stood apart, startled expressions on their faces. Her heart was racing. Passion and fear consumed her. She knew that voice, but where had it gone?

_**State Lunatic Hospital of South Boston**_

David only looked at the floor as he walked down the gray hallway. He wrung his hands together as they got closer to the room. The nurse turned and looked at him, a stoic expression on her face. "She's been waiting for you."

David slowly walked into the room. She looked exactly the same. Small, clear skin and eyes that glowed on her face. He sat on the edge of the bed and put his hand over hers, held down in restraints.

"Hello angel," he whispered, shaking as he watched her eyes twitch.

"David?" She murmured, as her hand slowly closed over his.

"It's me."

"Did you bring Caroline with you?" She asked hopefully, her pupils dilating.

David turned from her, the pain choking him like a knife. "She's at home, sweetheart."

"Oh." Suzanne's face fell and the light went out of her eyes. "Oh."

"Suzanne—"

She scratched his hand, ripping it away from hers. "I saw you kiss her—"

"Stop it, Suzanne!"

"And Caroline wanted me, she wanted her mother, and you wouldn't let me see her, you wouldn't let me see her—" Suzanne said rapidly.

"I said stop it, Suzanne!"

"And Caroline was so cold—"

"Shut up!" David yelled, standing up, tears running down his face. He turned around slowly, catching his breath. "I'm sorry."

"Why did you stop loving me?" She cried softly.

"I didn't." David fell to his knees, leaning against the bed, looking at her.

"Then why did you leave me here? Why?" She reached for his hand through the restraints.

Her hand, just like her, always so needing, reached for him. God help him, after everything, he still loved her, but he couldn't take it.

No one was there to pick them up at the station. So they walked. A carriage might have been nice, Michaela thought, as she looked at her worn shoes and her tattered dress, but she was going to see her father tonight, regardless of how she got there.

While her thoughts rested on her father, Sully and Abagail were in a completely different world. Abagail looked at her pa and with wide eyes. He grinned at her. She didn't know anything but trees and mountains and rivers. Cities never held any charm for him, but he knew he would never forget the expression on her face.

Robert E walked along beside them, his head down. He felt strange being so far away from home. His life wasn't his anymore, despite being free.

Michaela finally stopped in front of a large brick home. She turned to Sully and took a deep breath. "This is it."

Sully looked at the grande house and nodded. He picked Abagail up with one arm and held out his other hand for her. This was it. She took it, and they walked together towards the front door.

Chapter 19

Sully looked down at their joined hands. Michaela's knuckles were white against his. He squeezed her hand, giving her his support and strength. Then reluctantly, they let go of each other before Michaela knocked on the door. Sully sighed. Not being able to touch her while they were here was going to be difficult, but they had decided that until they could prove David was behind Caroline's death and not Michaela, their love affair would only create further scandal for the family, and Sully refused to let Michaela's heart be broken again. As the door flung open, her breath froze in the air, as Harrison and Martha stood like Greek statues before them.

"Martha?" Michaela whispered hesitantly. Suddenly, Martha's countenance broke as she recognized the voice, and a bright smile broke out across her face.

"Dr. Mike!" Martha, completely forgetting her position, ran forward and hugged Michaela, quickly followed by Harrison.

"What is all this commotion!" demanded a commanding, loud voice at the top of the stairs. Stepping forward slowly, Michaela walked to the bottom of the stairs.

"I'm home, mother," Michaela said as Elizabeth Quinn made her way down the stairs. Mother and daughter looked at each other for a moment. There was no anger in Elizabeth's eyes anymore, only shock and hidden happiness at the sight of her youngest daughter. Tired circles formed around her eyes from long hours of sitting next to her husband's bedside; and she nearly broke her usual restrained manner, but stopped herself before she reached for Michaela, always remaining in control.

Elizabeth then noticed her daughter's travel companions. She blinked once, twice, three times, trying to make these three unsightly forms become more appealing to her eyes. It didn't work. "Dare I even ask, Michaela?"

Michaela turned to them, smiling bravely. Only Sully saw the slight apprehension in her eyes. "Mother, I'd like you to meet Robert E. He's been traveling with us since Kansas and has proven to be a most trusted friend. We probably wouldn't have made it here without him."

"Well, ya daughter's exaggeratin', Mrs. Quinn. It's her and little miss here who saved my life." Elizabeth simply raised her eyebrows at Robert E. He seemed nice enough, but what he needed was a good bath and clean clothes.

During this time, Abagail had silently slid down from Sully's arms and tip-toed up beside Michaela. "Mama!" She whispered loudly. "Is _she_ weally ya ma?"

Elizabeth's mouth dropped. "_Mama_? Michaela, what on earth is going on?"

All of Michaela's worry suddenly vanished as she lifted Miss Sully into her arms, and she felt her small, trusting arms circle her neck. "This is my daughter, mother. Her name is Abagail Sully. I've been with her since the day she was born—"

Sully stepped up beside Michaela, his shoulder brushing against hers. "I asked Michaela to take care of her, m'am."

"And who are you!" Elizabeth exclaimed as she examined him from head to toe. He looked positively barbaric and heathen.

"I'm—" Sully began.

But Michaela saw the look on her mother's face and was suddenly furious. "He's my—"

Sully quickly put his hand on her elbow, stopping her from saying it. "Byron Sully, m'am."

"Martha!" Elizabeth called shrilly. Matters were completely out of hand, and she couldn't have that. Elizabeth Quinn was about to take control of this ridiculous situation once and for all. "Will you please show my daughter's guests to a clean room and also prepare them each a bath?"

Martha nodded quickly and began leading them up the stairs. As Michaela began to go along with them, Elizabeth said, "I'd like to talk to you alone, Michaela, if you would please stay behind."

Sully and Michaela exchanged glances before he left her alone, which didn't go unnoticed by Elizabeth.

When Michaela turned to look at her mother, Elizabeth had a grave expression on her face. "Oh my girl, do you have any idea what you are doing?"

"Mother, can we please discuss this later? I want to see father." Michaela started again for the stairs, but Elizabeth interjected.

"Where's David?"

Michaela sighed. Her mother was too perceptive and set in her ways. "I haven't heard from him in over five months."

"Does he know you're raising another man's child?"

"He marched out the day Sully gave her to me."

Elizabeth shook her head. "And this Sully fellow?"

"He just came back to me—to us." Michaela knew her mother was watching her closely, so she turned her back to her and walked across the room. "His wife died due to complications after Abagail was born. He's been grieving for her for the past three years."

Elizabeth watched her daughter's eyes as they went towards the stairs. "And you?"

"What about me?"

Elizabeth crossed the room to her daughter and touched her arms, looking her directly in her eyes. "Where do you fit in to all of this?"

Michaela looked in her mother's eyes and she knew that she knew everything without saying a word. "I've made promises, mother. Some that I intend to keep and some that will have to be broken. I can't say more than that right now. If you will excuse me, I must see father."

Elizabeth watched her daughter ascend the stairs. She had already lost her once. She didn't know if she could stand to lose her again, and everything about this situation screamed disaster.

Michaela walked slowly down the hallway to her father's suite. When she got there, she stopped in front of the large mahogany doors. She put her hand on the doorknob, but she couldn't turn it. All she could see was the expression on his face. All she could hear was his voice. _"Promise me."_

"Michaela." Sully was standing beside her.

"What if—" She shuttered, gripping the handle. Sully put his hand over hers.

"He loves you, Michaela." Then they turned the knob together, opening the door. Michaela turned around and looked at him before she went inside.

"I'll be waitin' for ya," he whispered.

A blaze stirred in the fireplace, and she slowly made her way to her father's bedside. He looked so changed—his normally rosy cheeks were flushed with gray, and his eyelids were dark and hollow.

"Father?" Michaela whispered, taking his hands in hers. She brought his hands up to her lips, kissing away the lost time. His eyes opened slowly, searching for the voice he had missed with every breath of his body.

"Mike?" She nodded vigorously as she heard the recognition in his voice. "You came back. Thank God."

As he breathed a heavy sigh of relief, she leaned her head against his chest. Reprieve was there for her if only she would take it. They didn't speak for several minutes. They simply held each other as father and daughter, the past neither here nor there.

"I'm so sorry, father. For everything," she finally spoke.

He caressed her long hair, his voice low and weak from sleep and medication. "Shh… Let's not talk of the past now."

She leaned up, her head turned from his face. "But I need to talk about it, father. I've let it eat away my life. I can't let it do that anymore."

"Alright. We'll talk." As Michaela turned from Josef, her hair slipped from his fingers. "Your happiness means everything to me, Mike."

She began slowly, saying things that she had kept silent for five years. "I was wrong… when I promised you that I wouldn't use those drugs. That little girl was in excruciating pain. I became emotionally involved, and I made a choice in a desperate moment."

Josef reached for her hand again. "And I'm the one who put you in that position."

"Father—"

Josef sighed, the memory of the flimsy excuses that the other physicians had for turning the case over tightened his stomach. "There wasn't one doctor in that hospital besides you that would go near that case. You did everything you could for that child. And I'm afraid I asked too much of you. I'm sorry for that, Michaela."

"I'm sorry too." Michaela quickly turned back to her father and hugged him, burying her face in his neck. "I just want you to look at me the way you used to."

"Michaela."

"Yes?"

"Look at me." Michaela slowly raised her head to look at her father, whose eyes were warm, open, and loving. "I am."

And then it struck her. Sully was right. He had never stopped looking at her with pride and love. It was she who had turned away from him. It was her light that had gone out.

As Michaela stepped into the hallway, another door opened. Michaela bit her lip as Sully gave her a lopsided grin. "I feel like a fool," he mumbled as he ambled towards her, wearing clean dress pants and a crisp, white dress shirt that belonged to her father.

"You look handsome." She grinned like a Cheshire cat as she put her arms on his shoulders. "And you smell good too."

"Girly soaps," Sully grumbled.

"No." Michaela shook her head, as she let her hands run up to his clean-shaven face. "You smell like a man to me."

"Ok, _friend_." Sully quickly removed her hands from his face. "What happens if ya ma walks down the hall and sees us?"

Michaela's eyes widened, remembering. "I forgot."

"From the way things went downstairs, I'm not sure if she even likes me stayin' in her house, let alone marryin' her daughter." He stepped away from her. "How'd it go with ya pa?"

Michaela nodded, not completely resolved, but not scared anymore of seeing her father. "Better than I thought. We talked a little about what happened. Sully… I want to introduce you to him tomorrow."

"Yeah?" he smiled, genuinely flattered.

She stepped closer, wanting to break the horrid distance between them. "If anyone can soften the path to my mother's heart, it's him."

"Sounds like a plan." He wanted to kiss her, but the bells on the grandfather clock began to chime. "I guess we should put Abagail in bed?"

She nodded, and they walked together down the hall.

As Michaela and Sully walked further down the hallway, loud vocalizations reverberated from the bathroom. Sully and Michaela glanced at each other before heading into the war zone. Abagail, in the middle of the porcelain tub, was buried amongst a mountain of white foamy bubbles.

"Boom!" She yelled, sending white waves up into the air. Martha turned to Michaela and Sully, drenched.

"She's a very enthusiastic child!" Martha laughed as she brushed off bubbles and foam from her uniform.

"Indeed," Michaela laughed as she went over to the tub and fished Abagail out of the water. Martha quickly brought over a towel and covered the foamy girl.

"But I not tired, Mama!" Abagail whined through a stifled yawn.

Sully turned to the door where a little white night gown hung with faded pink ribbons woven through the hemming. He grinned as he saw the small pink _M _in the corner of the gown. Sometimes it was hard to believe that Michaela was ever a little girl.

As Martha left Abagail's suite, Elizabeth quickly stopped her. "Martha! What are you laughing about?"

"Oh! Excuse me, m'am. I didn't mean to." Martha looked guiltily at Elizabeth and resumed her stone-like expression. All of a sudden, Elizabeth heard Sully and Michaela's laughter breaking through the door.

"What is going on in there?" Elizabeth inquired.

"Well, the little one is telling her parents a bedtime story," Martha said as dead-pan as she possibly could.

"Oh, for heaven's sakes, Martha! I've never heard of anything so ridiculous!"

"They're a delightful family, m'am. I think Dr. Mike is really happy."

"Hush, Martha! Don't you dare repeat a word of that to anyone! Michaela is still engaged to Dr. Lewis. It would be perfectly disgraceful if Reverend and Mrs. Lewis knew that Michaela had abandoned their son while he was off serving his country."

"Yes m'am." Martha hesitated for a second, but then blurted out, "But she…she… she just doesn't love David!."

"Martha, you're completely out of line! I think you've certainly said enough tonight! I hope you will have remembered your place in this household before you return tomorrow. Goodnight!" Martha quickly scampered down the hall, getting far away from Elizabeth. The laughter from the bedroom had died down, and Elizabeth slowly moved to the doorway and peered inside.

Michaela and Sully lay on either side of Abagail. Michaela was humming a soft melody, as she lifted the curls up and down, up and down off of Abagail's forehead. The little girl's eyes had faded, and her breathing mimicked the rhythm of the song. Sully held one of Abagail's hands, and leaned against the headboard, never taking his eyes off of Michaela.

As Michaela lifted her eyes, a light filled them. Elizabeth knew that light, how improper, wrong, and completely wonderful it was.

And she looked away.

The house was silent as Michaela finally allowed her body to be engulfed the warm bath water. Her muscles ached, every inch of them, and as the warm liquid covered her, she felt as if she could begin to heal, body, mind, and soul.

But the silence didn't last as the door slowly opened.

Chapter 20

Sully couldn't sleep. After eight days of constant contact on the open trail, sleeping alone in this comfortable, warm bed was pure misery. He threw off the covers and continued to lie there, stewing. He wanted to be with her.

A chill whispered down Michaela's back as the draft flew across the room. "Who's there?" she called, grimacing as she heard the slight waver in her voice.

"It's me, Dr. Mike!" A frightened whisper answered.

"Martha?" Michaela turned around in the bathtub and looked at the trembling maid. "Aren't you supposed to be off duty? Wasn't your family expecting you?"

"I did go home, I did, Dr. Mike." Martha stepped into the bathroom and shut the door, her face ashen with worry. "Something terrible has happened, and I didn't know who else to go to."

Alarmed, Michaela sat up in the tub, her arms covering her chest self-consciously. "Is someone hurt?"

"It's my sister. She showed up at my parents' house tonight. We haven't seen her in years. When we came over from Ireland, she was headstrong and refused to go to work like the rest of us. I think she's gotten herself in trouble." Martha looked down, ashamed. Michaela's heart went out to Martha. Michaela hardly thought of Martha as a servant, but much more as her friend. She didn't need to hear anymore. She knew she had to help.

"Martha, go get my medical bag while I get dressed. I left it downstairs." She hesitated momentarily, a thought coming to her. "And wake up Mr. Sully. He'll escort us. You can trust him."

Martha scurried out of the room, and Michaela stood from the tub. The air was cold in the large bathroom, and her toes curled as she touched the tiles on the floor. Halfway to the rack of towels, the doorknob began to twist. As the door opened, Michaela lunged for the towel in time to barely cover herself.

"Michaela?" Sully barged into the bathroom, a worried expression on his face.

"Sully!" Michaela jumped back, shocked and embarrassed, nearly losing her hold on the towel.

"Oh…I'm—uh…Martha said ya needed me," Sully said hoarsely, as he attempted to look away but failed miserably when he clearly saw her. She was beautiful and bare to him, as the reflection of her back painted itself on the full body mirror in the corner. He gripped the handle of the door to stop himself from going further inside.

"I—I need you to go with me to Martha's house. Her sister's sick," Michaela whispered hurriedly, modesty only permitting her to gaze at him through fallen lashes.

"Of course… Well, I'll…um, let you get dressed." Sully forced himself to turn his eyes away, quickly running down the hall, not even entertaining the idea of looking towards her bedroom. The vision he had just seen went beyond fantasies.

As Michaela heard the bedroom door shut, she exhaled, and dropped the towel.

As the carriage rolled up in front of the ramshackle brownstone, Martha had become inconsolable. Sully and Michaela held her up as they made their way up three flights of stairs, until they reached her family's home.

Sully knocked on the door, and they were greeted by an elderly woman, who had a weathered but kind face. "Thank God ya here. I'm Mrs. O'Brien. My daughter's needin' ya services, Dr. Quinn."

"I'll do what I can for her, Mrs. O'Brien," Michaela said, taking the woman's hand in hers.

"This way," said Martha, who was still trying not to cry. Martha led them to a small bedroom where a woman with disheveled auburn hair and fair skin lay quivering with fever.

Michaela felt her forehead and shook her head. The fever was high. The woman slowly opened her eyes, as Michaela brought her fingers down to her lymph nodes.

"I'm Dr. Quinn. Can you hear me—" Michaela looked to Martha for help.

"Rose. Her name is Rose, Dr. Mike. But she hasn't said a word since she came home," Martha whispered, tears in her voice.

Rose's eyes began to focus, and slowly, Michaela's face began to form in front of her. Their eyes met, and Michaela smiled at Rose reassuringly. All of a sudden, her breathing rapidly increased, and Rose began to shake. "What's happening to her?" Martha called out, alarmed as she watched her sister's chest palpitate erratically.

Michaela frowned, not understanding her sudden alarm, pulled out her stethoscope and opened the buttons on Rose's shirt to get a good reading of her heartbeat. "I think she's having a panic attack."

But when Michaela looked back down at Rose's chest, her throat went dry. That's when her alarm began. "Sully… would you mind leaving for a moment? I need to give Rose a full examination."

Just as Sully was about to leave, he stopped and turned, looking at Michaela. Her face was white, as if she had seen a ghost.

Michaela continued to unbutton Rose's shirt and her camisole, trying to focus, trying to keep her mind off of her fear. The rash extended from the top of her breasts down to her stomach.

"Dear God," whispered Martha.

Michaela looked up into Rose's eyes. Her breathing had calmed somewhat, but her eyes were fixed on Michaela's face. Michaela felt like the woman was looking straight through her, but she forced herself to continue.

"There's nothing to be frighten of, Rose. I won't harm you. I'm here to help." Michaela placed her hand over Rose's clinched fist. "Please let me help you."

Tears welled up in Rose's eyes as she seemed to struggle with her decision. With great effort, she nodded her head.

Michaela took a deep breath. "Alright. I'm going to take off your pantaloons, and I'm going to need you to bend your knees and spread your legs so I can examine you."

After the examination was over, the diagnosis was certain. "Rose," Michaela said numbly, "You are in the secondary phase of syphilis. You have scar tissue around your cervix and vagina where the original chancres were. You'll need to start mercury treatments immediately. They've proven to be the best cure with primary and secondary syphilis."

As Martha began asking questions, a strange buzzing seemed to overpower the room, and Michaela couldn't hear, think, or speak anymore. She was back in time, starring at Caroline, unable to help her, but still telling her that it was going to be alright, still going through the motions of being a good doctor.

"Dr. Mike! Are you alright, Dr. Mike?" Martha called her named, as she started hearing voices again.

"Michaela! Open your eyes!" Sully shouted urgently, as he held her in his arms. As she came to, she looked pleadingly in his eyes.

"I can't do this. Take me home, Sully." Without any questions, Sully picked her up in his arms and carried her out of the apartment.

It was nearly midnight when Sully and Michaela returned to Beacon Hill. Michaela was frighteningly quiet. After she had abandoned the case, Michaela retreated within herself. Sully kept a protective arm around her the entire time; and as Harrison opened the front door of the house, she nestled even closer into his arms. With one sharp look from Sully, Harrison's face went blank. No one would know of this incident in the morning.

They walked to the bottom of the stairs, but Michaela stopped at the first step.

"Michaela?" Sully asked quietly, holding on to her hand. She seemed immobile, unwilling to move backward or forward, frozen in time. After she had fainted and he realized that the woman had syphilis, he had not hesitated getting her out of there, but now he wasn't sure it was the right choice. No one had ever forced her to face her fears. They had always forced her to push them behind her. He needed to be different. He had to be different, or this weight she carried was going to kill her. "Come here," he whispered softly, lifting her in his arms. "Ya gonna get passed this, even if I have to carry ya part of the way."

As the oil lamps made shadows against the walls of the dark hallways, Michaela and Sully slipped deftly into her room and shut the door. He placed her on her feet and lifted her chin, catching her lost eyes. "What can I do, Michaela?"

Michaela barely shook her head. "Make me forget."

He swallowed. Her raw heart exposed to him, vulnerable to him, sent chills down his body. But he knew it couldn't be like this. It had to be about them, and only them.

"Alright," he whispered, taking her hand in his. "Come with me."

"How did you know?" She giggled, a bright grin spread across her face as she took another mouthful.

"I have my ways," Sully smiled back, thankful he was able to get the smile to return to her face. They sat across from each other in the dark kitchen, which had quickly become Sully's favorite room in the imposing house.

"Abagail is going to be so jealous!" Michaela snickered as she scooped another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. She had absolutely no idea how he was able to lead them down here, but she couldn't have been more grateful. Everything else just seemed like a bad dream now.

"She does have a sweet tooth, don't she?" Sully leaned on his elbows on the kitchen counter, watching Michaela eat the biggest bowl of ice cream he could have possibly made.

"That's mostly Brian Cooper's influence. She thinks he hung the moon. But chocolate ice cream… now that is our secret treat. You sure you don't want any?" Michaela tapped her spoon on the crystal bowl.

Sully smirked slowly, his eyes warm with unsaid meaning. "Nah. I just like to watch ya."

Michaela caught his eye and grinned conspiratorially as she slid from the kitchen stool and began to circle around the counter towards him. "Sully… Come on, try a little…You really have no idea what you're missing."

"Michaela…now ya just stay on the other side of the island where ya belong." Sully ordered as he began to edge off of his stool.

Michaela shook her head, holding out a big spoonful of chocolate ice scream. "Don't want to."

Before he had a chance to run, she had him cornered, standing as close to him as she could, with the spoon right under his mouth. Just as she was about to feed him, he unceremoniously fell off the stool, taking her with him. "Michaela!"

They toppled on the floor, the crystal bowl and Michaela both landing flat on Sully's stomach. Michaela still had her grip on the spoon, and dug into what was left of the splattered ice cream, pointing it right in front of Sully's mouth. "I wouldn't try to move, if I were you. This is mother's best crystal."

Sully tried his best to keep an angry face as she force fed him, covered in chocolate ice cream. "Well?" She asked, once he had his bite. He lifted his hand and took a swipe at the chocolate that was smeared across her face.

"Delicious," he whispered huskily. Their smiles eventually faded as they lay together on the cold kitchen floor, and they were replaced with heated looks that made them forget where they were.

The crystal bowl was slowly pushed to the side, and despite Sully's best intentions, he found himself being pulled in. Everything was forgotten. They were the only two people on earth in that moment. His other hand ran from her hip to her face, as he cradled her between his legs. Their physical awareness of each other was almost painful and acute.

A self-conscious smile stretched slowly across her face as he practically squirmed beneath her. Her face flushed as she realized the affect she was having on him. Just as she was about to move, a small smudge of chocolate on his cheek caught her attention. She couldn't ignore it, so with deliberate tenderness, she kissed it away.

Sully moaned as he felt her lips and tongue against his skin. His restraint was slowly dying with each passing moment. "Michaela… I think… I think we really need to clean up."

Reluctantly, they pulled away.

They were back where they started, at the bathroom. Michaela had to stifle her laughter as Sully attempted to open the door without touching it with his sticky hands. Once he had the door open, they shut it and tip-toed inside.

"You first," Michaela offered.

Sully frowned and pulled at a lock of her sticky hair. "What about your hair?"

Michaela shrugged, half-smiling. "I can wait."

Sully shook his head.

"It might take a while," she warned.

"I'll help ya. It's my fault anyway." Michaela blushed, touched that he wanted to help her.

She turned around and held her hair up. He stepped behind her and slowly began to unbutton the back of her stained dress. Her hair and dress dropped simultaneously. Because of the emergency, her earlier bathwater was still in the tub. Michaela sat down on a small stool, leaned back on the edge of the tub, and closed her eyes as Sully kneeled down beside her and began to pour the cool water over her hair. She shivered as the water hit her shoulders. Sully hated seeing her cold again, like the night on the trail. Suddenly he stopped pouring, and the room grew silent.

"Sully?" Michaela whispered, suddenly worried by his silence. Just as she was about to open her eyes, she felt a warm sponge caress over collarbone, and move down the side of her arm. He took her hand in his, and cleaned each of her individual fingers tenderly. Then he moved to her face wiping away all the chocolate. A few moments passed, and then she felt his hands in her hair again, a perfumed aroma filling the air as he massaged her head and hair gently. And when he washed her hair out, the water was no longer cold. Still, she kept her eyes closed, as she waited to see what he would do next.

He wrapped a towel around her shoulders and dried out the excess water. Then catching her by surprise, he lifted her into his arms and carried her to her bed. She inhaled sharply when she realized that he had taken off his shirt, but just as she was about to respond, he placed her on the bed, and whispered, "Don't move."

He returned a few moments later. Then she felt it. He was brushing her hair. She leaned back into his touch. How could one man be so selfless and kind and gentle? All of this was for her. And she wanted him.

"Done," he said, stroking her arms once.

"Sully," Michaela turned around, her eyes open. "Stay."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 21

He said yes. With their eyes open, they moved into a muted haze, the sounds and sighs of the world vanishing, as they began to feel one another. His heart beat into her chest, as he laid her back on the bed. She felt his weight upon her, the tight sinews of his muscles etching along her curves. She wanted to speak, but the words wouldn't come out, as his kisses sent her spiraling, spiraling, spiraling beyond her control, and she held tight to him, as his hands explored, touched, and discovered, and she tried to gasp, but the air caught in her body, trapped in the pit of her stomach, and she moaned as his hands pushed her pantaloons down, but he didn't hear her and he kept moving down, down, down, making her back arch like the Bridge of Sighs, and her hands reached for him, and he reached for her, and they linked and pulled themselves into each other, and when they cried out, only the angels could hear them sigh.

"For heaven's sake, Lizzie, calm down! You're going to give me another heart attack with all your fussing!" Josef playfully swatted at her hand as she and Harrison helped him walk down the stairs for breakfast the next morning.

"I can't help it, Josef. I really do think it's too soon. And Dr. Hanson said—"

"I don't care what Dr. Hanson said! The best medicine for me will be a healthy breakfast at my dining room table with my beautiful girls surrounding me." As they reached the bottom of the stairs, he turned to Elizabeth, and gave her a swift, final peck on the nose. "What is the harm in that, my dear?"

"I'm not sure you'll feel the same way when you see the rabble that Michaela has brought home with her."

"Oh? She didn't mention anyone last night."

"Good mornin'!" Abagail's bright voice called down from the top of the stairs. Her curly brown hair was wild and tangled, and she still donned Michaela's old nightgown.

"Do you see what I mean?" Elizabeth pointed out, but Josef didn't hear her disparaging tone. A smile crept across his face as the little girl waved at him, and he found himself waving back.

"Are you gwanpa?" She asked, stepping down next to the railing. Josef raised his eyes brows at the sudden question, but he nodded anyway, even though he didn't have any idea who this child was.

"Oh goody!" Before they could stop her, Abagail climbed on the banister and slid down to the bottom of the stairs.

Elizabeth's eyes nearly fell out of her sockets as the little girl bounced up and gave Josef an unassuming hug. Josef's cheeks flushed as he chuckled at the little girl. "Mama says hugs always make ya feel bettah."

"Well, who might you be, miss?" Josef asked warmly.

Elizabeth stepped forward and put her hands on Abagail's shoulders, pulling her out of Josef's arms. "Michaela has taken it upon herself to raise this child, Josef."

Josef's eyes quickly went to Abagail's, as he saw her face fall with Elizabeth's callous explanation. He smiled at Abagail and took her hand in his. "I bet my daughter is a good mother to you. I know she must love you a great deal. And you know what? That means Elizabeth and I will love you just as much."

Abagail's smile returned. Joseph looked at Elizabeth, giving her one final warning glance. "Now. What do you saw we have some breakfast?"

"That surely sounds good to me!" Robert E exclaimed from the top of the stairs.

"Oh for heaven's sakes…" Elizabeth sighed as she watched her husband reach for Robert E's hand. This household was turning into an absolute circus, and no one seemed to care but her!

"I'm glad to see ya doin' better, Dr. Quinn. I never seen anyone so determined as Dr. Mike to get home to her pa."

Josef nodded slowly as his eyes conveyed deep happiness.

"Speaking of our wayward daughter, where is Michaela? She's usually the first one up! She's not one to sleep in." Elizabeth's eyes went towards the stairs, dread filling cell of her being.

"Michaela…" He said her name once, his lips just grazing her neck. "Michaela, ya have to wake up now. We're back."

Michaela pressed her head against Sully's shoulder. "Back? Sully?"

Sully brushed away some loose strains of hair that had fallen in front of her face. "It's almost seven a.m. Ya folks are gonna be wonderin' where we were."

Michaela sat up slowly and opened her eyes as she felt a sudden jolt. "What happened, Sully?"

Sully smiled patiently as she gathered her bearings in the carriage. "We were over at Martha's house, and ya fainted. Ya were out for a while, Michaela. But then ya got up, and ya seemed fine. Quiet, but fine. Ya started givin' Rose the mercury treatments. And when ya were done, ya laid down on their couch. Ya seemed peaceful, so I just let ya sleep."

Michaela shook her head, completely confused. "Where we you?"

Sully put his arm around her. "On the floor, next to ya."

Michaela closed her eyes again, recalling the vivid but surreal dream. She shivered as she stretched her arm across his torso. "I knew you were close."

Sully inhaled as he felt her hand across his stomach. Her touch was positively kinetic. "Ya did?"

She looked up at him, and whispered timidly, "I was dreaming about you."

Sully, equally as bashful, asked, "Yeah?"

"You were saving me."

Sully tightened his hold on her shoulder. "Ya don't need savin'."

Michaela shrugged. "Maybe not. But I need you."

"That's why I always stayed close. I couldn't be too far from ya, even though it hurt. I needed ya too much." They looked at each other, eyes on eyes. Michaela swallowed as the carriage stopped in front of her house. She never knew whether she was consuming him or he her.

"In my dream…we…we—" Before Michaela could finish her thought, Sully leaned across the carriage and kissed her, her thoughts finishing in his mouth as their lips moved together in hungry deprivation.

Sully pulled away from her, his face flushed and his breathing ragged. "We what?"

Michaela bit her lip in attempt to calm herself. "We should go inside."

Sully grinned knowingly and turned to open the carriage door. Daylight shone down upon them. No one could doubt they were in love. It couldn't be hidden, especially from two dark, diseased eyes staring at them from the end of the sidewalk.

**_Cambridge, Massachusetts 1852_**

The front door slammed and David jumped up from his studies. Suzanne ran into the parlor, and David's chemistry book fell out of his hands as he immediately ran across the room to her and took her in his arms. "Thank God you're back, David," she cried into his shoulder.

"What happened, Suzie?" He asked urgently, letting his fingers run through her blonde hair.

"He came back… He came back—"

"Who?" He pulled away from her and finally saw the gray bruise across her face.

She immediately tried to hide the bruise from him. "I was visiting Mama, and he showed up. Mama tried to stop him, but she couldn't. He's crazy, David. He's completely insane."

David rubbed her shoulders as she rambled on, trying to calm her down. "Suzanne… I can't help you if you don't tell me everything that happened."

"I—I…" she stammered.

"Take you're time, Suzie. I'm listening."

"My…stepfather did something bad to me." David watched Suzanne's hands go down to her stomach, and his eyes jerked up to meet in her eyes.

"Did he touch you with his hands?" He whispered, his heart sinking.

"Yes," she said, barely audible.

David swallowed, and he tried to control his shaking joints. "Did he… kiss you?"

Suzanne nodded and closed her eyes, crying.

"Ok… ok… Don't worry. I'll talk care of you." He pulled her back into his arms, closing his eyes. "We'll go to the hospital and I'll get you a medical examination—"

"No David!" Suzanne exclaimed, pulling away from him. "I don't want anyone to know what happened to me! People will think I'm dirty…"

David shook his head. "No they won't… I'll be with you."

Suzanne walked across the room, her arms circled tightly across her chest. "No you won't. I'm not good enough for you now. I'm damaged. You're going to want someone who's clean and virtuous—"

David chased her and grabbed her arm, pulling her back to him. "Stop it, Suzanne! I—I love you! Do you hear me? I love you, and this is not you're fault!"

A hesitant smile broke out across her tear stained face. "You won't leave me?"

David took her hands in his, and kissed her forehead. "I won't leave you, I promise."

_**Colorado Springs—1873 **_

Abagail tore through the streets of Colorado Springs, scaring all of the horses and alcoholics outside of The Gold Nugget. She ran all the way to Loren's store, bursting through his customers until she reached the stairs that led to their room.

Colleen Cooper stood at the counter and spun around as the hurricane known as Abagail passed by. She looked at Loren knowingly, and said, "Why don't ya let me check on her, Mr. Bray?"

"Aw, go on. That girl is impossible right now. I don't know what to do for her."

"It's just—"

"I know." Loren sighed. As soon as Colleen disappeared upstairs, Brian ran in the front door, completely out of breath.

"Well, that explains it!" Loren exclaimed, rolling his eyes. "Now I know what's wrong with my granddaughter. What did you do to her now?"

Brian froze in his tracks and blushed guiltily under Loren's gaze.

Abagail lay faced down across two twin beds pressed closely together. Colleen gently knocked on the door.

"Go away!" Abagail mumbled into her pillow.

"Don't ya want to talk, Abby?" Colleen said soothingly as she sat down beside her.

"There's nothin' to talk about. I'm fine," Abagail said stubbornly as she wiped away her tears.

"Alright. Well… maybe this will make you feel better." Colleen unhooked the delicate charm bracelet from her wrist and placed it beside Abagail on the bed. Abagail looked over and saw the beautiful detailed jewelry and knew immediately who it had belonged to.

"Wait!" She said as Colleen was about to leave. "This was Mama's, wasn't it?"

Colleen nodded and walked over to the side of the bed. "She gave it to me the first night she stayed with us in the boarding house. Ya hadn't even been born yet."

Abagail put it on her wrist. "It don't look right on me. It would look good on Mama though." Abagail's face crumbled as she kept staring at the bracelet. "I miss her… I miss her so much."

Colleen froze when she realized the affect the bracelet had on Abagail. She didn't know what to do.

As Abagail cried, the door opened again, and she heard soft footsteps on the floor, until a small body was cocooned beside her. Little hands played through her hair, and she fell asleep as she heard the soothing words, "Enaootse, hemeho."

Chapter 22

As Michaela and Sully stepped through the front door, Harrison rushed to take their coats, his eyes wide with urgency.

"What is it, Harrison?" Michaela asked.

"Well, miss…. They're waiting for you in the dining room." Harrison raised his eyebrows uncomfortably. "_All_ of them."

Michaela and Sully braced themselves, finding strength in each other's eyes. Side by side, they strode across the Entrance Hall and into the abyss.

Around the table, the entire Quinn family gathered, mercilessly trying to talk over each other, but none of them to be outdone by Miss Sully. She was the center of attention, and absolutely loving the inquisitive doting from Josef, Rebecca, and Marjorie. Claudette and Maureen asked the occasional question, attempting to sound interested in the girl, but they were really trying to bring the focus of the conversation back to their own daughters.

But at the foot of the table, Elizabeth sat quietly, barely touching her breakfast. Her eyes kept averting to the two empty chairs set for Sully and Michaela, who were now fifteen minutes late for breakfast. She was past disapproving; she was seriously worried about her daughter now. But in a split second, her worry dissipated, reducing to shear horror as she saw Michaela and Sully standing in the doorway, just as they were letting go of each other's hands. They looked awful, as if they had been up all night, and they were hardly appropriately dressed for breakfast.

Completely loosing her grip on her glass of orange juice, the shattering of Elizabeth's best crystal silenced the family.

One by one by one, heads turned around as they realized that Sully and Michaela were standing in the doorway.

Maureen and Claudette perked up as they saw their father's favorite daughter completely disheveled, her porcelain doll face cracked, standing next to a man…well, a man they would have never brought home.

"Well this should be quite interesting," Marjorie muttered under her breath as she dabbed her lips with her napkin. Rebecca heard her, but quickly covered her alarm by sending a brave, welcoming smile in Michaela's direction.

Josef stood up slowly as he took in the altered appearance of his daughter and the man she was standing next to. "Mike?"

Michaela locked eyes with her father. She could always read him, but not in this moment. She took a deep breath and made a decision. She was not going to hold back. She put her arm through Sully's and walked with him to the head of the table.

Marjorie felt for Rebecca's hand under the table. "What is she doing?"

"Father, I would like to introduce you to Mr. Byron Sully. Sully, this is my father, Dr. Josef Quinn." Josef narrowed his eyes, sizing up the man Michaela obviously cared a great deal for. The first time he had met David, he had immediately taken his hand in his. He had judged him based on his family, his education, his dress, and the fact that he was a doctor. He hadn't taken the time to look into his eyes until much later. And by then, it was too late.

Sully looked straight into Josef's blue eyes, and he saw a true father looking back at him.

Sully didn't know what Josef was looking for, but he held his eyes as several quiet moments passed.

Michaela tightened her grip on Sully's arm. She didn't expect this from her father. At all. To a fault, he was kind and friendly to most people that came through their door. But now?

Josef could sense the tension in his daughter, but he had to know. He had to know that the man before him was different—good enough, strong enough, the one for his daughter. The last months that David and Michaela spent in Boston were forever imprinted on his mind. The more time she spent with David, the guiltier she became until she could barely look him in the eye. He couldn't bear to go through that again.

Sully slowly put his hand over Michaela's, _it's going to be alright,_ and moved away from her, in front of Josef. _It's going to be alright. _He held out his hand steadily. "Dr. Quinn, I'm glad to see ya doin' better."

Josef held out his hand tentatively and said with veiled meaning, "You're late."

"It's my fault. Michaela needed to sleep. We had a long night," Sully said innocently, not knowing that he had sent Elizabeth into a tail spin at the other end of the table. Marjorie's eye's bugged, and she was all but buried in her napkin at this point.

"Michaela Anne Quinn!" Elizabeth Quinn was on her feet. "I need to speak with you _alone_ in the parlor. _Now_!

As Elizabeth pulled Michaela out of the room, Josef turned back to the table, glancing at Sully. "Well, I think Elizabeth has made her point. Why don't the rest of you finish your breakfast. And Mr. Sully, why don't you come with me?"

Like magic, the table returned to its meal, the clanking of silverware against crystal continued, all except for one setting. Abagail sat as still as she ever had, except for her bottom lip, which slightly trembled. Finally, she asked innocently, "What did Mama and Papa do wong?"

Josef leaned on Sully as they walked side by side through the glazed over blanch gardens. They walked slowly, and neither one of them spoke for a while. "You know when not to speak, Mr. Sully. An admirable quality. A necessary one in this situation. How old are you?"

"Twenty-eight."

Josef nodded. "I see. Wisdom has yet to settle with you yet. It will though. I see the same in Michaela. She's going to be a remarkable woman once she let's go of the past."

Sully looked at the older man, and said honestly, "I'm tryin' to help her do that now."

Joseph stopped by the gazebo and sat down heavily. "So she's told you everything?"

Sully nodded and said confidently, "Yes, and I don't believe she was responsible for the death of that child."

Josef exhaled. If there was one thing he knew for certain about this man, it was that he had complete and utter faith in his daughter. "I never truly believed it either, but no one can change the fact that Michaela gave Caroline those drugs the day before she died."

Sully pressed. "Which weren't tested."

Joseph concurred guiltily. "Yes."

Sully began to pace, looking at the winter sky. "And there's another fact to consider—David."

A knot formed in Josef's throat. He innately had bad feelings about David, but to be responsible for the death of a child? "David? David was hardly involved in that case. He only came by because Michaela was involved, as I recall."

Sully turned to him, seeing the fierce denial in Josef. He knew they would have a hard time convincing anyone that David was guilty if they couldn't even convince Josef. "Sir, I know this might be upsettin' to ya, but I've even seen David behavin' callous and hateful. The night my wife died, he talked as though Michaela would deliberately kill my wife and child, Dr. Quinn. The way he said it—it was almost inhuman. And after Michaela told me her story and how David was the only one to stand by her, it just seems all very suspicious to me."

Josef put his hand over his heart, trying to calm himself. "Dear God… You think he's been using her has his alibi all these years?"

Sully stepped forward. "That's exactly what I think, Dr. Quinn."

Josef closed his eyes. "And she's technically still engaged to this man?"

Sully's voice cracked. "Yes."

Josef opened his eyes and looked at Sully for a long moment. "You're in love with her, aren't you?"

Sully nodded and whispered tenderly, "She's my heartsong."

"You really were late then."

"Calm down, mother!"

"I demand to know where you are Mr. Sully were last night!" Elizabeth slammed her fist down on the parlor table.

Michaela shook her head. "What does it matter? You'll still disapprove of him even though we did absolutely nothing wrong!"

Elizabeth glared at Michaela and sat down daringly. "Try me."

Michaela knelt down before her and took her hands. "Alright. I will tell you. But you have to promise me to remain quiet the entire time."

"I promise," Elizabeth said shortly.

"Martha came to me last night and told me that her sister was sick. So Sully escorted us over to her house, where I treated her sister. It was a difficult case, mother, and I didn't handle it well. I fainted, but I got back up and kept treating her. By the time she was comfortable and asleep, it was late, so Sully and I stayed at Martha's family's house," Michaela sighed.

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. "Where did you sleep?"

Michaela put her head in Elizabeth's lap, completely frustrated. "On the sofa, mother."

"And Mr. Sully?"

"He slept beside me. _On the floor_."

"How chivalrous!"

Michaela sighed and smiled. "I think so."

"Michaela—"

Michaela sat up and put her hand up, cutting off her mother. "He's a good man, mother. Please don't judge him. Get to know him first at least."

Elizabeth closed her eyes, exasperated. She did not understand her child at all. "I'll…try."

She leaned forward and kissed Elizabeth on the cheek. "Thank you, mother."

"I'm only doing this because I love you." She hesitated a bit before leaning closer to Michaela. "And I know…"

Michaela took her mother's hands. For the first time in her life, she saw uncertainty on Elizabeth's face. "You know what, mother?"

The voices of Sully and Josef could be heard in the foyer and Elizabeth quickly touched Michaela's face, her voice elusive, "I just know."

"Well ladies," Josef called from the doorway, "Did we get everything worked out?"

Sully helped Josef walk to a chair, where he gratefully sat down. Elizabeth quickly came to stand beside him, resuming her position as the doting wife. "Yes, yes, we did, dear. I am done breaking crystal. As long as you two let someone know where you are going the next time you need to go save a life."

"Yes, mother," Michaela smiled and looked at Sully hopefully, who had a calm, but unreadable look on his face.

"Well Mike…" Josef looked up at her, his expression almost mirroring Sully's. "As a father, I've never been in this position. Now that I am, I don't believe I really have the right to tell you what to do with your life. I just hope with all my heart you find the answers you are looking for. I hope you can finally have some peace, happiness…" His eyes veered slowly towards Sully's. "And love."

"Thank you, father."

As if they all exhaled at once, Josef turned to Elizabeth, taking her hand in his. "I'm done with all this serious business, Lizzie. It's time to dance."

Elizabeth threw her hands up in the air. "Dance? Josef! I swear your head is going faster than your heart! You can't dance! Dr. Hanson said—"

Josef put his arm around her waist affectionately. "Lizzie, I could die tomorrow for all we know. I refuse to spend my life sitting down. We're having a ball!"

"A ball!" Elizabeth exclaimed.

Michaela laughed, "Father, really…"

Joseph looked disappointedly at his daughter. "Michaela, not you too."

Sully elbowed Michaela. "Might do him good."

"Sully!" She couldn't believe them!

"What?" He shrugged innocently.

Josef smiled, knowing he had won. "I knew I liked you, son. Come help me up. We'll go tell the others."

As the men left, Michaela went to go stand by her mother. "I married an absolute lunatic, Michaela."

"Don't worry, Mother. I'll be there to monitor him. I won't let anything happen. He is right in a way… I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life lying in bed."

Elizabeth nodded, trying to smile, but then her voice broke suddenly as she said, "I just can't stand the thought…"

"I know…I know…" Michaela wrapped her arms around her mother and rested her head on her shoulder.

**_State Lunatic Hospital of South Boston_**

Round and round and round she goes, where she stopped, where she stopped, where she stopped—Suzanne kicked the gray stones on the wall, her chipped toes nails cracking, scarlet seeping through the faults.

She closed her eyes, seeing those colors, those maddening horrible colors that wouldn't leave her mind. Brown and green. He was looking in those eyes, not hers. He was smiling in those eyes, not hers.

She strained her arms, strained them, trying to reach her face, her eyes, but they were tied down, locked in white. She screamed out in agony. Here eyes would never be the right color.

The next morning, Michaela sat on the edge of Rose's bed, administering the mercury treatments. Michaela, while much calmer than the night before, avoided the unwavering stare of Rose O'Brien.

"All done," Michaela said, as she began to pack up her medical equipment.

"I'll go get your coat, Dr. Mike," Martha said, before leaving the room. When Martha was gone, like rising from a fog, Rose slowly lifted her hand and put it over Michaela's.

"He…he had ya picture," she whispered hoarsely, her eyes sharp and bitter.

Michaela froze as her body went numb. "Who?" She asked quietly, although she knew before Rose said.

"David." Michaela stood up from the bed, her body trembling with realization of what that meant.

"So he's…he's…" An uncheck sob escaped her mouth. Michaela didn't know whether to be shocked, relieved or angry.

"He's got it." Rose answered.

"Where is he, do you know?" Michaela asked urgently, her mind reeling.

"He deserted. I don't know. I left a short while after he did." Michaela nodded and wiped her eyes. "But Dr. Quinn… you should know… something isn't right about him. At first I thought he was just a strange man…but something is off in his head."

Michaela nodded, her arms like a straightjacket around herself. "If untreated, syphilis can cause mental illness in the latent stages."

"Will it happen to me?" She asked, frightened.

"I don't know." Michaela turned to Rose, uncertainty in her face. "Hopefully we started the treatments in time, but if we didn't I can't promise you anything."

_**Cambridge, Massachusetts—1852 **_

"I'm so glad it's all over," Suzanne smiled as they walked hand in hand throughout the estate.

"I can't wait to tell father that we're engaged," David beamed, smiling back at her.

"What do you think he'll say?" She asked, as she began to spin around him, picking up speed.

"I don't know. Hopefully he'll be happy for us." He squeezed her hand and laughed as she circled around him.

"I hope so!" She laughed until she collided into him. They tumbled to the grass and rolled into each other's arms. "Oh David…I'm so happy…I'm—" She stopped speaking suddenly.

"Suzanne? Are you alright?" David sat up and looked at her face.

"I'm fine. I'm fine. You don't have to fuss over me. I just got a little light-headed. I shouldn't have been spinning so much." She smiled bashfully.

"Sometimes I forget how delicate you are," David whispered, caressing her cheek.

"I'm not delicate," she swatted his hand away playfully and leaned back against his chest. "Just hold me for a while."

"This moment. Right now. Is my perfect moment." David said into her blonde wisps. Suzanne lifted her head, tears in her violet-blue eyes, and she leaned down and kissed his lips.

They kissed each other leisurely, hidden in the grass, until passion took its place, and would not wait any longer. As he slid his hands up her bodice, as her hands went down his thighs, as their tongues danced and swirled, as the sunset, as her hands slid down his back, as he tangled his hands in her hair, as he entered her, she whispered, "This is mine."

Michaela ran through the house but couldn't find anyone when she returned. "Harrison? Where is everyone?"

"Outside, Miss. Miss Abagail and Mr. Sully were building a snowman earlier." Michaela turned and ran to the back doors where she saw Sully, Abagail, Robert E, Josef, and even Elizabeth outside in the snow.

"What are you all doing?" She asked as went through the glass doors onto the terrace.

"Me and Papa buildin' a snowman, Mama. Ain't he handsome?" Abagail stood proudly by her creation.

Michaela nodded and tried to look as normal as possible after what she just learned. "He looks wonderful, sweetheart. Sully, can I speak to you for a moment?"

Sully quickly ran up the steps beside her. Josef and Elizabeth watched as Michaela talked to Sully in hushed, rapid tones.

Josef eyed Elizabeth. "Something's happened."

"And it's not good, you can bet," she answered, putting her arm around him.

Abagail skipped further into large backyard, singing to herself as she went along. "A pwincess at a ball! A pwincess at ball! I'm gonna be a pwincess at a ball!"

As she got to the bottom of the garden, she twirled around, dancing with herself. She ran into the maze of bushes, and stopped abruptly when she saw the frozen bird bath. She walked over to it and immediately looked away when she saw the iced baby bird inside. Panicked, she turned around, but didn't know which way she came from in the tall maze of trees. She began to run as fast as she could but all she kept seeing were more and more and more trees.

But then she heard a voice and everything stopped. "Hello Caroline."

Chapter 23

"Slow down, Michaela," Sully put his arms on her shoulders, "Ya aren't makin' any sense."

"Rose and David…They knew each other in the war…They…" Michaela closed her eyes, leaning into Sully as the only stable thing in her world. "He deserted. She didn't know where he went, but Sully… on the train… on the train… I heard him… I heard him!"

"Why didn't ya say somethin' before?" Sully asked, tightening his arms around her protectively.

"Because I thought I was imagining it all. Sully, he could be in Boston for all we know. He could know about us and what's worse—" She gripped his hand in hers.

"What?" He looked in her eyes, seeing fear and something else he had never seen before. It frightened him.

"He's sick, Sully."

"How do you know?"

"I don't know for sure, but Rose said…Rose said he has it too." Michaela said quietly, pain and disgust etched in her brow.

"What does that mean for us, Michaela?"

"I don't know. I don't know how long he's had it or if he's even been treated… It could be years. Syphilis can show early symptoms and then disappear for a while. I just don't know. But if it's affected his mind… No one can predict what he will do or say or believe. He's extremely dangerous to himself and all those around him."

"Then I ain't leavin' ya side till we know where he is." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently, reassuring her.

"Stop staring at them, Lizzie," Josef admonished his wife, turning her chin away from Sully and Michaela.

"He just kissed her hand, Josef!" Elizabeth whispered loudly as she fumed uncomfortably in the patio rocker.

"Of course he did. He's in love with her, Lizzie." Josef slyly reached over and took his wife's hand, turning her hand over, and gently placed a soft kiss on her wrist.

"Josef!" Elizabeth took her hand back immediately, crimson rushing to her cheeks.

"Lizzie," Joseph smiled amusedly at his wife's sensibilities. He loved the notion that he could still make her blush after 40 years of marriage and four grown daughters.

Suddenly the moment was broken as Michaela and Sully stood before them, concern and fear on both of their faces. "Where is Abagail?"

Abagail stepped back as she looked into the eyes of the strange man. "What are ya doin' heh?"

"I didn't know you'd be here," David stepped closer, an eerie smile lighting his face. "Does Michaela know?"

Abagail frowned at him and stopped, confused. "She's my mama."

"She's…?" David closed his eyes, running his hands through his hair. "She knew you were alive…"

Like lead, David's body sunk to the ground, and he landed hard on the snow. Abagail quickly ran to him, lifting his head onto her lap. She took off her mitten and began to dab his bleeding lip. "It's k, it's k," Abagail soothed as David began to sob. Her little hand covered his.

"I'm so sorry, Caroline. I should have protected you. But we're ok now. We're ok. It's all forgotten."

Abagail could only nod as she sat with him in the snow. She didn't understand why he was saying these things, but she innately knew that he wouldn't hurt her.

David quieted and smiled softly, as he reached up and touched her face. "Such a good girl. Your angel mother would be so proud."

Abagail's eyes widened. "How do ya know bout my angwel mama?"

"She and I loved each other very much. We made you, Caroline. We were supposed to be a family…My better angel."

"Mama said she went to heaven to be with de angwels," Abagail whispered, immobile and puzzled by his words.

David shook his head, his eyes bright like broken glass. "Michaela's wrong, Caroline. She's alive."

"She…she is?"

David nodded, moving a fallen curl out of her face. "She is. She misses you so much."

Her mother had been like a fairy tale to her all her life, but now this man was saying that she was real and alive? She swallowed and said confidently, "I want to see her."

"Abagail!" Sully called from the front of the yard. "Abagail Sully! Answer me!"

Abagail quickly jumped up, pushing David up to a sitting position.

"I gotta go," she began to walk away but he grabbed her hand.

"You'll come back, won't you?" Abagail pulled her hand away and ran to the opening of bushes.

Before she entered, she hesitated and turned around. "We havin' a pawty tonight. Wear a mask!"

A woeful smile cracked the edges of David's face as she disappeared into the green. "Tonight, sweetheart. Tonight."

"Abagail!" Michaela cried, running down the lawn towards the garden, "Where are you, Miss Sully?"

"Abagail!" Sully bellowed again, running up beside her, out of breath.

Suddenly, Abagail emerged from the large bushes. Sully and Michaela sighed in relief and ran to her. "Oh Abby, I've told you a hundred times, you can't run off by yourself like that. You scared us to death."

Michaela put her arms around the little girl, but Abagail did not hug her back. Her generally bubbly presence was distant and pensive. When Michaela did not feel her arms around her, she pulled back and looked in her eyes. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"Can angwels be on earf?" She asked quietly.

Michaela frowned, wondering where such an odd and sensitive question came from. "Well, yes. I suppose they can. You're our little angel."

"Oh," Abagail nodded, her face falling. "I go to my room now." She stepped away from Michaela and Sully and walked ahead of them, past Elizabeth and Josef, and into the house alone.

Sully slid his hand into Michaela's. "What was that about?"

"I don't know. Maybe she just needs to be alone."

"At three and half?"

"You're right. Let's check on her before tea."

"Tea?" Sully curled his lips in utter distaste as Michaela held in her laughter and pulled him along behind her.

"How is the little one?" Josef asked as Michaela and Sully entered the parlor.

"I think she's better. Robert E's taking her to the candy store. That put a smile on her face." Michaela and Sully sat down beside each other at the tea table, across from Elizabeth and Josef.

"And how are you, my dear? You two were awfully serious this morning." Michaela looked between her father and mother. She didn't know how to tell them about David, or if she even should. She knew, without a doubt, that her mother wouldn't believe it. As for her father, she was sure he would be horrified and berate himself for not seeing it, just as she was doing now.

As Fiona came out with the tea service, Sully reached for Michaela's hand underneath the table. She met his eyes as he ran his thumb across her knuckles soothingly.

"Michaela!" Elizabeth jerked her out of her daze with her brassy voice. "Your father asked you a question."

Josef chucked and patted Elizabeth's hand. "It's alright, Lizzie. I just got my answer."

Michaela blushed and tightened her grip on Sully's hand when she realized that her father must believe that the commotion earlier had all been some kind of lovers' quarrel between them. As embarrassing as it was, it was probably better that way.

"So Mr. Sully," Elizabeth suddenly turned to him, her eyes sharp as a hawk's, "It's just the four of us now. You should know I'm not one to dance around the matter, especially when the subject is my children. Exactly what are your intentions towards Michaela?"

"Mother!" Michaela's face deepened in color, and she quickly let go of Sully's hand.

Sully's cup of tea was still at his lips at the beginning of her interrogation, and he had yet to remove it. He slowly brought the cup down and swallowed. Slowly.

Joseph's first impulse was to stop his wife's little game, but when he saw Sully's deliberate, thoughtful motions begin, he thought it best to wait, and let both his stubborn wife and mortified daughter hear what this young man had to say.

"Mrs. Quinn," Sully began, "Intentions mean I'm tryin' to get somewhere or get somethin'… And if I had to go anywhere with Michaela, it would be right here."

Elizabeth frowned. "I don't understand you, Mr. Sully."

"If Michaela loves me half as much as Dr. Quinn loves you in forty years, I can't imagine a better life than that," Sully said quietly, his warm blue eyes breaking down Elizabeth's. She stared at him a moment, unflinching. She had known they were in love from the moment she saw them together, but she just never expected either one of them to say it out loud. For once in her life, Elizabeth Quinn was finally at a loss for words.

She looked to Joseph, tears threatening as she thought of all their years together, when they were young, when illness didn't threaten every moment of their lives. She stood up and looked back to Sully, her emotion controlled once more. "True love doesn't have a happy ending, Mr. Sully."

She turned and walked slowly out if the room, leaving Josef, Michaela, and Sully staring at her empty seat. "Is she alright?" Sully asked after a few moments.

Josef turned to him and smiled sadly, "She'll be alright, son."

"Maybe I shouldn't have said that." Sully looked down, feeling guilty, but Michaela quickly put her hand back in his.

"No. It was perfect. I want that too," Sully smiled relieved and pulled her hand against his heart. Josef lifted his eyebrows, amused how quickly the two of them forgot that a third person was there.

"Well, I think I will go see about Elizabeth," Josef said after he guzzled his last bit of tea. "Mr. Sully, please come by my study before the party tonight. I would like to speak with you alone."

"Yes, sir," Sully said quickly, breaking out of his lock with Michaela for a split second. As he heard Josef leave the room, he turned towards her, letting his legs rest against hers. "Ya gonna storm out on me too?"

"Sometimes. If you don't let me have my way." She laced her fingers with his. "But it'll be alright."

He cocked his head. "How do ya know?"

She tilted hers, eyes sparkling. "Because you'll come after me."

He leaned closer and whispered, "I'll always come after ya." Their lips grazed in a sweet kiss that only seemed to demand that they go further, to keep pushing the boundaries of their restricted situation. Her breathing was heavy and slow, modified, even though they were alone. They were tied together and tied down by society's rules, but he couldn't stop himself, and he slowly slid his tongue out and torturously traced her bottom lip. Taken back by his audacity, but even more so by the shear pleasure of his kiss, Michaela pressed their joined hands down into his lap to relieve the inner pressure building within her.

Suddenly, footsteps from the servants' door broke them from their seduction, and Michaela quickly stood up and walked towards the window so Fiona wouldn't see the any evidence of what they had been doing on her face.

"Would you like more tea, miss?" Fiona asked shyly. Michaela, completely lost in her own thoughts, didn't answer.

Sully looked at Michaela from his side, and saw her downcast eyes and how she was attempting not to grin. He turned to Fiona, a satisfied smile on his face, and said, "We're done, thank you very much."

Fiona quickly left them. Sully stood from his seat and sauntered over to Michaela. "Penny for ya thoughts."

She had a thousand thoughts running through her mind at that moment. His touch. His kiss. Having his children. Having a life.

"You really do want all of that?" She whispered, mystified that it could really be theirs.

Sully nodded and moved behind her, wrapping his arms around her. "Yep. You and my girls."

"Girls?" She giggled. She hadn't even thought that far ahead!

Sully nodded, his eyes almost boyish with hope. "Abby and her sisters."

Michaela grinned, taking in the beautiful image through his eyes. "What makes you so sure we won't have any boys?"

Sully shrugged, beginning to sway a little bit as he looked out to the snow. "We might. But a girl… she would be a heartbreaker if she looked anythin' like you."

"But she'd have to have your spirit. A beautiful one…just like her papa's."

"And her mama's—emo'onahe." Michaela turned in Sully's arms.

"Is that what it means?"

Sully nodded, lowering his eyes. "That first night… when I didn't know who ya where… I could still feel ya… It scared me."

"I was scared too, but in a different way. I didn't know how to feel before you came into my life. After Caroline died, I shut myself off to the world and told myself that getting by was living. I was frozen inside but you saw past that… you saw me. And that was the most terrifying thing in the world to me. But now for the first time in my life, I feel like a woman." Sully brought her hands to his lips, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Ya are." Michaela pressed her hands on his shoulders and leaned forward. Just as their lips were about to meld again, Abagail's voice came from the Entrance Hall. They smiled and reluctantly pulled away from each other as her pitter pattering became louder and louder until she and Robert E were standing in the doorway with a bag full of candy in each of their hands.

Abagail had a ring of chocolate smeared around her lips as she continued to chomp down on her sweets, her earlier troubles seemingly forgotten.

"My goodness!" Michaela and Sully walked over to the little pig. "You won't be eating your dinner for a week at this rate!"

Robert E laughed, "She might be a little thing, but she sure can eat her candy."

Michaela and Sully kept talking to Robert E, asking him about his excursion into town. Abagail moved further in the room, looking out the window into the backyard. She placed another chocolate in her mouth and scanned the snowy whiteness. In the distance, she saw his figure. He waved at her and pulled out a mask that looked like the face of a raven. He slipped it over his face and smiled at her.

Abagail waved back. "Angel mama," she whispered hopefully.

"Abby?" Sully asked, making her jump away from the window. "Who are you waving to?"

"The Raven man," Abagail answered honestly. Sully and Michaela quickly came to the window and looked out into the whiteness.

No one was there.

Chapter 24

Abagail sat at the top of the stairs as the guest streamed in through the doorway. "Ohhh…" She sighed as a woman dressed in ruby red with a sparkling flamingo mask to match entered. Elizabeth was greeting everyone, dressed in a deep forest green, with a pelican mask in her hands. "They so purty."

Michaela watched Abagail from a distance as she exited her room. She seemed ok now. Sully had checked the grounds of the house after Abagail had claimed to have seen the Raven man, but he didn't find anyone but the house and yard staff. Children often had imaginary friends, Michaela had reasoned, but she still didn't have a good feeling about it. Abagail had been distant to her all day.

Michaela made her way down the hallway and lifted her train so she could sit next to Abagail on the top stairs.

Abagail gasped, as she looked at Michaela. She had never seen her dressed up before. "Mama! You so beautiful!"

"You are too, Miss Sully," Michaela leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. Abagail looked down at her blue chiffon dress and began twisting the fabric. Michaela watched her nervously when she didn't respond.

"Can I have a kiss too?" Abagail looked at Michaela timidly and quickly kissed her. Michaela's throat tightened. She never had to ask Abagail to kiss her before.

"Do you wuv me?" Abagail asked suddenly, her eyes wide and pleading.

"More than my life, sweetheart." Michaela moved closer to Abagail and put her arms around her. "I love you so much."

"K." Abagail smiled, and leaned into Michaela's arms. "I wuv you too."

"Now I'm going to go help your grandmother receive guests. Fiona is in charge of you tonight, but if you need your father or me, we'll be in the ballroom."

"Can I stay heh for while? I like to watch the pwetty dresses." Michaela smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Of course. Be a good girl for Fiona." Michaela stood up and smoothed her satin white dress.

As Michaela walked down the stairs, Abagail called out, "Mama!"

"Yes, Miss Sully!" Michaela turned around, her spirits high again.

"I wuv you foevah and evah!" Abagail blew one of her ringlets of her face and smiled.

"Forever," Michaela blew her a kiss and waved goodbye.

Michaela joined her mother, who had her best party face on. "Where is your father?" she asked through gritted teeth as she greeted another guest without batting an eyelash.

"He needed to talk to Sully, mother." Michaela smiled and shook hands with colleagues of her father as she spoke to her mother like a ventriloquist.

"Oh for heaven's sakes," Elizabeth moaned before raising her voice to a melodious, "So glad you could join us…"

"Mr. Sully, I've been watching you with my daughter these last couple of days. I was against her move to Colorado at first, but I see that it has brought her nothing but joy, especially with you and your daughter," Joseph said as he slowly walked around to the back of his desk.

Sully shook his head. "It's really your daughter, Dr. Quinn. I don't know if I would even be able to be a father to Abagail if it wasn't for her."

"That's what a marriage should be. Helping each other. You two have a great sense of that, and that's why I want to give you this." Josef reached into his desk and pulled out a small black box.

"What's this?" Sully asked as he picked up the tiny box and opened it.

Inside laid a solitaire diamond ring. Sully looked up, completely shocked. Josef was smiling, a sparkle in his eye. "Consider it my blessing. It was my mother's ring. I know she'd be honored for you and Michaela to have it."

"I don't know what to say, sir." Sully stared at the ring, hardly believing this was even possible for him and Michaela. But it was. Everyday their future seemed more certain.

"Well, you can stop calling me sir, to start. It's Josef. And you shouldn't be saying anything. You should be running to put that ring on Michaela's finger!" Josef laughed heartily, the color in his cheeks rosy and bright.

"Yes sir… I mean, thank you, Josef!" Sully smiled and ran out of the room.

Josef smiled as he watched the young man leave. All was right with the world. Michaela was finally happy and in love. He had a beautiful wife, family, and home. He could hear the waltz playing in the distance, calling to him, waiting for him to dance again, and break free of his feeble body. He leaned back against his desk and exhaled as he let the music carry him away.

Sully ran through the ballroom, looking for Michaela. When he finally saw her at the door with her mother, he stopped in the middle of the doorway and simply watched her. She was going to be his wife. This vision.

They had made so many mistakes, but now they had their chance to make everything right. They were going to have a life together.

When she finally saw him, she stopped greeting people, and froze. She had never seen him in a tux before. He looked positively sinful. Her knees felt wobbly, and she could hardly concentrate on the continuous stream of hands that kept filling hers. Like a predator, he slowly began to walk towards her, and she shuttered as he gently put his hand on her lower back. "I need to talk to ya."

"Alright, I'll get Rebecca to fill in for me," Michaela signaled for Rebecca across the room, and she and Sully quickly went to the opposite side of the house from the party.

As soon as they left, Reverend and Mrs. Holland Lewis were announced. Elizabeth and Rebecca looked at each other, both surprised and shocked they had come.

"Did you invite them, mother?" Rebecca asked accusingly.

"When your sister brought another man home? Of course not!" Elizabeth whispered harshly behind her mask. "One of the servants must have done it by accident."

"If they see Michaela with Sully…"

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but hopefully they'll stay gone a very long time!" Elizabeth brought down her mask just in time to shake Mrs. Lewis' hand.

Abagail giggled behind the railing as she watched her mama and papa sneak away from the party. Papa had promised her a dance, but he was too busy making funny faces at Mama. Not that she blamed him. She had never seen her mama look so beautiful and fancy. The diamond and pearl earbobs and the lovely choker than fell from her neck… Abagail looked towards Michaela's room. Then she looked down below where Fiona was running to and fro with coats and handbags. She wouldn't be missed for long.

Sully led Michaela into the Garden Room. Moonlight trickled in through the glass windows, making Michaela's satin dress shine and her face glow.

She turned around, and he took her hands in his. "You look…"

He didn't get to finish his thought before she leaned forward and kissed him. He immediately wrapped his arms around her waist as she knotted her hands in his hair. She pulled away after a moment, joy taking all hesitation and sadness out of her façade. "Unbelievably handsome," she finished, as she gently caressed his clean-shaven cheek.

"I was goin' to say beautiful, but alright." They laughed, and as if they could hear the music playing across the house, Sully took her hand in his and began leading her around in the room, in a slow, steady waltz.

"Do you remember?" Sully nodded and pulled her hand over his chest.

"I had blisters on my feet the next mornin'." Sully chuckled, embarrassed.

Michaela's eyes widened, surprised and shocked. "Sully! For heaven's sakes, we could have stopped much sooner!"

"Yeah, but we were havin' fun. You were smilin' and laughin'…kinda like you are now."

She nodded looking down, the memory of the firelight clashing with the moonlight now. "That was a good night."

Sully bent his knees in the next turn, searching for her fallen eyes. "Things are different now, aren't they?"

"Yes. I was escaping with you that night. Now… now I just want to be with you with no escapes." The music kept playing, the world kept spinning, but Sully and Michaela stopped in it. Sully took her hand in his and reached into his pocket.

"This should have come before the promises I made to ya, but hopefully you'll forgive me and make an exception." He opened the ring box, revealing her grandmother's diamond ring.

"Sully!" Michaela put her free hand over her mouth, as she recognized the beautiful ring, knowing how much it meant to her father and how significant it was that he had given it to Sully.

"I know ya still worried, so ya don't have to wear it yet if ya uncomfortable." Sully said quietly, falling a little from his high.

Michaela shook her head, tears in her eyes. "No…no… I want to wear it tonight. I'm so tired of being tied down. I can't do it another day, Sully."

Sully nodded, understanding. After they had returned from Martha's a few days ago, it had been impossible for them to hide their feelings from each other, and once more, Josef and Elizabeth were aware of what was going on, so their battle to remain inconspicuous had completely fallen by the wayside.

Sully took the ring out of the box and slowly slid it onto her finger. "With this ring," he whispered, "I thee wed."

Michaela, with tears in her eyes, laughed at his faux ceremony and cupped his face in her hands. "I love you. I—"

The boisterous voices of party guests began filling the rooms of the house. Sully and Michaela looked towards the commotion. Michaela, not ready for their time to be over yet, took Sully's hand in hers, and led him towards the back door, picking up two capes along the way. "Come with me."

"Where are we goin'?" Sully asked as they stepped out into the winter night.

She laced her arm through his. "Somewhere that no one will find us."

Through bird eyes, he watched Michaela and Sully climb into the carriage and leave Beacon Hill. He turned back towards the grand entrance way and ascended the front steps.

Abagail sat in front of Michaela's dressing table, with a large powder puff in her hand. She patted all over her face and began coughing uncontrollably when the dust flew up in the air around her. "Uh oh!"

She quickly put it back in its container and closed the lid and sat quietly until the dust cleared. She then got up on her knees and lifted the lid to the mahogany jewelry box. Inside, she found a cascade of jewels, necklaces, bracelets and rings. She reached forward and took a handful of necklaces out, and began to put them on her neck one by one by one.

After she had on about ten, she stood up in front of the mirror and posed. "Why Miss Ab'gail! You so beautiful! May I take ya fuh?"

She fell down on the table in giggles, reaching back over to the jewelry box for more goodies. She stuck her hand in the bracelets but felt a piece of paper. She quickly pulled it out and turned it over.

It was a faded picture. It was the Raven man. He was younger and didn't look so sad, but it was definitely him. Why did mama have his picture? Mama had said she loved her, so why would she lie about her angel mama?

Abagail quickly threw off the jewelry and jumped down from the stool. She didn't understand any of this. She had to find Mama and Papa now.

Chapter 25 

Sully could hear the ocean in the distance as Michaela stopped the carriage. "Where are we?" He asked, feeling the chill of the harbor wind as he helped her out of the carriage.

"Follow me, Sully." She took his hand in hers as he looked at her warily. "Just trust me."

They walked down a narrow path, carved in between two small walls of snow. Ice cycles hung above them in the trees, creating a castle of crystal. Eventually the woods faded, and they emerged onto a white beach, where the rushing tide crashed in full force.

"Michaela," Sully breathed in the cold winter air, taking in the sights and sounds before him. "It's amazing."

"I thought you'd like it," she said, leaning back into his arms.

"I was born somewhere out there," he whispered into her shoulder.

"You were?" She put her hands over his, blocking the chill.

"I always felt restless by the ocean…like it was pushin' or tellin' me to go somewhere. This is the first time I've felt at home here." Michaela tightened her arms around Sully.

"Maybe you just needed time away," she whispered.

"Nah, it's not the ocean or the mountains or the plains… it's just bein' here with you that makes the difference." She turned her head and found his lips, kissing the cold away in an instant.

A zephyr rolled up off the tide, and they clung to each other, trying to keep their warmth inside. Michaela began to pull away, but Sully's lips followed hers, not wanting to separate now that they were so thoroughly isolated.

"Not yet," he nearly growled in frustration, as the air blew between their lips. "Just a little longer…"

But Michaela turned away from him, leaving him shaken and bothered. He watched her walk down the beach before she turned around, smiling coquettishly. "Well are you coming or not?"

Sully shook his head and grinned roguishly at her before he reluctant followed. What was she up to?

After they walked a ways down the beach, Michaela turned back into the trees. "Oh dear… The pathway's snowed over…"

Michaela looked down at her shoes, which were now soaking wet and cold. The weather and boots had been the last things on her mind. All of a sudden, Sully's arms were around her waist, and he was lifting her in his arms. "Now ya just tell me where to go."

She circled her arms around his neck and pointed. "Straight, sir."

"Yes, m'am." His feet sunk into the snow, completely ruining his new dress shoes, but he didn't care. Michaela was in his arms, and he had never been so happy.

Suddenly they passed into a clearly, where a small house stood, completely covered in snow. "What is this place?"

"It was my grandparents first home. We use it as our beach house now." Michaela smiled at Sully and pushed open the icy door.

Irish relics and family portraits adorned every space on the wall. Logs sat in front of the dark fireplace, and a sofa sat in the middle of the room, with several colorful quilts on top of it.

Sully slowly walked in and began to look at every face on the wall, soaking in all of Michaela's history and family. Michaela shut the door behind them, and watched him nervously as he traveled into her world.

Sully picked up a picture sitting in a bookcase and turned to look at her, surprise and wonderment in his eyes. "This… this was you?"

He turned the picture over, and Michaela saw the little girl with long coppery hair dancing in the tides. Her face was so carefree and light. She had been so happy that day. Michaela nodded shyly, biting her lip.

Sully looked at the picture again. "I wish…"

"What?" Michaela asked as he stopped short.

"I wish we had met that day." Michaela stepped up beside him.

"Would we have known?" Michaela and Sully's eyes met and locked. There was no way to know. Michaela began to shiver at the thought.

"Hey, why don't I start a fire. Warm us up?" Sully smiled hesitantly, breaking the tension, and gently put the picture back in its place.

Michaela stayed back a little, watching Sully as he moved easily around the cozy room. He seemed at home here—much more so than in the house on Beacon Hill.

"Floor or Sofa?" He asked, interrupting her thoughts.

"Hmm?" She stepped forward, seeing he was holding two of the thick quilts in his hands.

"Do ya want to want to sit on the floor or the sofa?" He laughed softly at her obvious distraction.

"Floor. It's closer to the fire." Michaela inhaled as she watched him spread the blanket across floor, making a palette for them to sit on. He turned back to the fire, adding more kindling, and she slowly moved to sit on the couch as he conjured the flames.

He turned around once it was roaring and observed her impish position. "I thought ya wanted to be on the floor?"

She shrugged her shoulders and smiled slowly at him from the corner of her mouth. He took off his dress jacket and laid it neatly on the side of the blanket. He slowly slid in front of her on his knees. "Ya gonna tell me?"

"Tell what?" Michaela leaned back, as though she had been caught.

"What's got ya so jumpy all of a sudden?" Michaela looked down, and Sully placed his arms on either side of her legs, locking her in. "Hey, ya can tell me anythin', ya know that, right?"

"Sully… What you must think… I didn't realize when I brought you here, I… It must seem so… It must seem awfully forward, and I…" Michaela looked down, her face blushing with embarrassment and emotion.

"Hey, I'm happy just being here with ya. I don't need anything more than that." Michaela nodded, relief washing over her. "I just want ya to relax, ok?"

Sully gathered her knotted hands in her lap and kissed them, reassuring her. "Ok."

"Now tell me what's cold," he asked, running his thumbs over her knuckles.

Michaela exhaled, contemplating whether she should tell him or not. But the chill won out over common sense. "My feet," she said softly.

Sully pushed back on one knee and cradled his hands. "Allow me?"

Michaela swallowed and lifted her stocking clad foot to his hands. Sully's hands surrounded her foot and he looked at her uneasily. Michaela, it's soaked through…"

"Maybe… maybe you should take them off," Michaela closed her eyes at her boldness. She couldn't look Sully in the eye. What must he think of her? One minute she was too shy to even think straight, and the next, she was asking him to take her stockings off.

"Ya sure?" Sully asked, his steady confidence waning as he thought of touching her so intimately.

Michaela nodded three times. Neither one of them spoke as the fire crackled behind them, and Sully began to move his hand up her calf under the hemline of her dress. Their breathing soon quickened and became in sync once he found the soft skin below her knee. As his hand lingered, applying a gentle pressure, she lifted her eyes and watched him. His jaw was tense and his eyes were extremely focused. As his hand finally reached her upper thigh, the hook wouldn't budge. Frustration and nerves took over Sully as he fumbled with the clasp.

But his anxiety suddenly gave Michaela a new confidence. Somehow knowing that he was just as nervous to be alone with her as she was with him, made her feel as though they had nothing to be afraid of. She reached down, covering his hand with hers through the satin dress. He stopped moving and met her eyes. "Just relax, Sully."

With his eyes on hers, he slowly moved back to the clasp and unhooked it. And again. And again. And again. The silk fabric was free, and he rolled it down her leg, until he had nothing but her bare foot in his possession. He massaged it gently, bringing it to his lips several times.

Michaela sighed and closed her eyes. "Don't forget the other one."

Sully chuckled. "I wouldn't dream of it."

Sully moved faster this time, the area not as foreign, and found the hooks around her upper thigh. Before unclasping the last one, he let his fingers caress the soft skin exposed between her stockings and her garter belt.

Michaela's breath was shaky as he touched her, and she couldn't help but wonder what his whole hand would feel like pressed against her skin. But he stopped and grabbed the silk, running it down the length of her leg. He took her chill foot in his hand, warming it slowly, but this time, he let his thumb run along the base of her foot. She held her breath as the sensations traveled through every nerve in her body, running far up in the length of her leg to the center of her being.

"Sully…" Michaela barely whispered his name as her head fell against the back of the couch. Sully's eyes clouded as he watched her react to his touch, so with deliberate care, he ran his thumb back up the base of her foot. She couldn't speak this time.

Instead, she pushed herself up on the edge of the soft, her bare feet moving to either side of his legs. She took his face in her hands and kissed him softly, letting her lips hover over his as she pulled away. "Thank you."

"Anytime." Sully's hands ran up the satin fabric of her dress as he leaned closer to her. "When I first saw ya tonight in this dress… I couldn't help but wish it was our weddin' night," Sully admitted.

Michaela blushed and laughed self-consciously. She rested her forehead against his. "I thought the same thing when I saw you in this tux. Although I wouldn't care if you had on your buckskins, as long as you were there with me. Whenever that will be."

Sully smiled and looked at her, seeing the impatience and frustration in her face. "You know I'll wait."

Michaela nodded shakily, her emotions and anger getting the better of her. "How long though? How long are we supposed to wait? What if David had never gone off to war? What if I never came to Colorado Springs? What if I hadn't had been so stupid as to have fallen into David's trap, whatever that is?"

"Those are 'what if's' Michaela! We can't do anything about them now!" Sully ran his fingers through his hair.

"I have been waiting for you my entire life! Living in shame and fear is not living. I can't do it. I can't do it anymore!"

Like a force of nature, Michaela pushed off the sofa and straddled Sully's lap, the delicate seaming of her dress tearing on the sides. Even if he had wanted to stop her, he couldn't have. His need for her matched hers, and when their mouths met, it was as if they were ripping away the chains and burdens of their olds lives, and creating a new one together.

They fell back on the palette, kissing.

Kissing—she mimicked his gesture from tea, tracing his lips with her tongue, and in turn, he repeated it. She opened her mouth to him, letting him deep inside, letting him feel her, taste her, rip all the past away. She brought her hand up to his mouth and he took it inside, sucking the tender skin until her lips required attention again. And their hands melded and wandered, breaking boundaries…

Hands—down the length of her body, crushing the burnished material against her skin, until his hands carved around her curves. Her hands stretched above his head, supporting her weight on him, but as soon as she felt his touch on her body, her arms began to shake violently, the new sensations breaking down her sense of control, releasing her passion and need…

As he felt her slipping, cracking, aching, he gently ran his hands back up her spine and cradled her, before spinning them and letting her rest beneath his weight. He held one hand over her head and caressed her face with the other.

"I would have known ya," he whispered.

Michaela nodded, tears in her eyes, etching his face with her fingers. She memorized every bone, every line of his face, every perfection and imperfection on his face, and slowly traced his lips with the tips of her fingers. He placed a soft kiss on them, as she kept traveling, learning everything as she went along. She explored his neck, the rough, tan skin, and the surprising softer flesh near his collarbone until she met material again. She released his hand and began working on his bowtie, freeing it from its tight constraint. She paused for a split second, as she glanced in Sully's heated blue eyes and then saw the row of the buttons ahead of her. Her patience was gone. She tore down the center of his shirt, sending buttons flying into the fire, and spurring Sully to take action.

As Michaela pushed the shirt off his arms, he found her lips again, and brought her up in his lap. His lips began traveling around her neck, and she echoed his kisses, running her mouth along the edge of his shoulder. As she splayed her hands down his toned back, he wrapped his arms around her waist and began to unfasten her dress and stays. He pulled at the hard binding once he felt her restricted skin. Her breathing suddenly quickened and she dug her nails into his back as she cried pleadingly, "Break it, please…break it!"

Sully placed a small kiss on the side of her neck, and with one deep groan, he ripped the corset from her body, completely ruining the beautiful dress. The tattered, shimmering dress hung off her shoulders now, exposing the tops of her breasts to him. They sat in each other's arms, her nails still carved in his back, and his hands gripping the broken cage. They were almost free.

Slowly, he began to pull the dress down. Michaela lifted her shoulders, taking her arms out of the dress. Without the support of her shoulders, the rest of the dress dropped in a heap around her waist, and she was bare to him.

The bones of the corset had left harsh red marks across the center of her abdomen and sides, and Sully's eyes immediately flashed to hers. "Does it hurt?"

Michaela shook her head self-consciously. "Not anymore."

Tenderly, Sully pushed her back on the floor. He slowly kissed down her body, starting with her eyes, nose, lips, and neck. He traced her collar bone with his tongue, and Michaela arched her back, reaching for him even as he moved down her body. For the first time, he kissed her breast as he gently took the other in his hand. Her nipples grew hard under his loving ministrations, and she began to pant and rock in rhythm with his suckling. Just as the sensations were about to overpower her ability to move or think, Sully moved down even lower, tending to the marks left behind from the corset.

As Sully tried to kiss the scars away, he knew that he could never watch anyone trap or hurt her again. The marks left behind were so deep and visible that it would take more than just kisses to remove them. It would take years of love and time and patience. He knew she was crying when he felt her stomach tighten and release in small trembling waves. He looked up and reached for her hand. "Are ya alright?" he whispered.

She nodded, the tears falling freely now. "It's just that… I've never felt so alive and…free."

Sully kissed her hand and looked down to the rest of the clothing surrounding them. He held out his hand to her and lifted her to her feet. He walked about four feet away from her and turned around. Slowly, he took off his belt and dropped it on the floor. Michaela's eyes glowed in the firelight, and her mouth dropped ever so slightly. When he began to unbutton his trousers, Michaela backed up until she hit the side table. She gripped it. And when the black dress pants cascaded down to his ankles, she stopped breathing.

She knew what the male body looked like. After all, she was a doctor, but they certainly all didn't look like Sully. He was completely masculine. And toned. And dark. And muscular. And handsome. She didn't know if she could move. At that moment, she had no idea what to do.

Sully, sensing her apprehension, slowly walked to her. He took her hands in his, and smiled, reassuringly. "Ya can trust me."

Michaela met his eyes. She knew what he was saying. David had stolen her innate ability to trust. And now here stood this wonderful man asking her to be completely vulnerable to him. "It wasn't your fault, Michaela."

"Sully…" Michaela's hands shook in his, and she looked down, refusing to meet his eyes.

"It wasn't your fault," he said again.

"Stop it, Sully," she whispered harshly, her eyes spilling uncontrollably.

"It wasn't your fault…" She bit her lips, trying to control the tears. "It wasn't your fault…"

Finally her head dropped and she broke down in a long, painful sob. She fell against his chest, and he held her to him, skin on skin, vulnerable, her soul open to him. He held her until her tears subsided and the fire began to die. She pushed back from him and searched his eyes in the darkness.

"Help me take it off," she whispered. She turned around and Sully carefully unhooked the remaining buttons on her dress, despite the fact that it was ruined. He untied her bustle and threw it on the floor. The hoop crashed in an unceremonious heap around them. They sighed simultaneously when the only clothing left was her pantaloons. He wrapped his arms around her from behind.

"Ya ready?" She nodded into his shoulder. He held the waist of the underwear with her, and together, they pulled it down to her ankles.

She was free. She stepped out of the clothes and stood up slowly, her back to him. She turned around to face him.

Her face was light. The weight was gone, and a smile stretched the corners of her mouth. He smiled in return, knowing everything was right now, knowing they could be together. He held his hand out for her, and she took it.

Down they went on the floor, hands and arms and mouths linked. Their legs tangled, and there was no more hesitation. As their kisses became more demanding, Sully slid to the side of her. He caressed her stomach lightly, sending chills down her legs. She moaned into his mouth as the light hairs on her body stood up, and he pulled up, watching her eyes as he began to lower his hand down, down, down her body, past her womb. Her knees instinctively rose, as his fingers moved into her hairs, and she gasped when she felt him touch her.

Like drowning and reviving all in one breath, Michaela inhaled and exhaled a deep, guttural moan as he moved within her, massaging her, exciting her flesh of unused nerves. Her core awoke from its long sleep, and it cried out, yes, yes, God, yes…

His mouth covered hers when she cried out, and she repaid him with the longest, most sensual kiss he had ever had in his life. As they cradled each other, enjoying their slow seduction, Michaela suddenly felt the evidence of his arousal on her leg. She pulled out of the kiss, looking into his eyes for direction. His eyes were glazed over with passion, and he pulled her more securely to him.

"I love you, Michaela," he said hoarsely, his voice breaking with emotion.

"I love you too, Sully," she answered back, touching the side of his face. He lifted himself off of her, and slowly began to enter her, breaking through flesh, breaking through walls, breaking through time, breaking through society, breaking through the past, breaking through the future, breaking through the present, breaking through her pain, breaking through their guilt, breaking through sin, breaking through death, breaking through life, breaking through hate, breaking through love.

And they made love.

As the pain subsided and pleasure and love cascaded through her body, she whispered to Sully, "I would have known you… I would have known you…."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 26

Abagail weaved through the dancing couples, who towered over her like willow trees in vicious storm. "Mama!" She yelled, but the dancers didn't hear her, so intoxicated with the melody and rhythm of the orchestra. "Papa! Wheh are ya?"

The music swelled in the ballroom, traveling through every corner, every room, and every heart in the house. Through his mask, David watched the couples dance without a care in the world. He didn't need to see their faces. Their smiles and laughter gave their joy away. He didn't belong with them. He never had.

She couldn't find them. They weren't here. They weren't where Mama said they would be. Her bottom lip trembled as the colorful dresses swirled around her, none of their faces familiar.

"Papa!" She called out helplessly. "Papa!"

David turned around, hearing her tiny, desperate voice. He pushed through the crowd, towards the center of the ballroom, and there she stood. Tears were rolling down her red cheeks, and he fell down to one knee in front of her. "I'm here, sweet girl, I'm here."

Abagail reached forward and pulled off his mask, looking into his glassy eyes. "Is she weally alive?"

"She is. She misses you so much." As David brushed the falling curls from her face, Abagail gripped his photograph in her hand.

"Can I see her?" Abagail searched his eyes, and he smiled, taking her small hand in his.

"Yes, yes you can." The photograph fell from her grasp, and she stepped closer to him, putting her hands on his shoulders.

He lifted her up in his arms, wiping away the stray tears on her cheeks. He touched the end of her nose, almost drawing out a small grin. "I always wanted to dance with my little girl."

David slowly held his right hand out, and Abagail cautiously placed her hand in his. He closed his hand over hers, and began to twirl her around the ballroom, eliciting a bright, surprised giggle as they disappeared into the other dancing couples.

With the last guests finally inside and the party a genuine success, Elizabeth breathed a sigh of relief. It was amazing what she did for that man. But she couldn't imagine doing anything less. He loved dancing and music and friends and family more than anything; and when she saw his smile, she knew it would be worth it all.

She looked around for his face, the only one that really understood her, but she didn't see it. She turned to Marjorie and Everett, who were attempting to whisper, but their heated tones could not be mistaken by anyone. She walked past them, and peered into the ballroom, but he was not in his usual position by the orchestra. She turned back into the Entrance Hall, her heart beginning to slow, where she could hear every beat pounding in her ear.

She turned towards the quiet hallway, where no music played. Slowly, she began to walk towards his office. She reached his doorway, still partly open.

Elizabeth peered inside, and her heart stopped.

"Sully…" Michaela crooned, as he scattered light kisses across her face and neck. She rested in between his legs as he leaned against the sofa. His arms perfectly encompassed her, their bodies soft and hot against each other, the fire not even necessary, despite the winter month.

"Hmm?" He barely responded, as he discovered a new, sensitive spot behind her ear. She shivered and ran her hands up his arms, tangling them into his hair.

"Do you think anyone would notice if we don't come back tonight?" His hands splayed across her stomach, holding her womb in his hands. He found her lips and kissed her soundly, breaking it with a warm chuckle.

"Yes, I do," he whispered into her lips.

Her face fell a little as she looked into his eyes. "But we'll come back, right?"

He kissed her again, making a promise. "The next time we come, you'll be my wife."

She nodded slowly and put her hand over his heart. "But in my heart, I already am. And no one can take that away from me."

They kissed once more, passion taking over time, as they fell back onto the palette and completely forgot about the party.

_**State Lunatic Hospital of South Boston—May 25, 1857**_

Michaela walked down the dingy corridors of the asylum, focusing only on her patient's chart. She was in the last week of her internship before she was to go work in her father's practice. It had been the most challenging and difficult work in her medical training. She looked at her pocket watch that actually belonged to her father. She only had five minutes left in her rounds before she could go home.

Suddenly a man stormed past her, knocking the chart from her hands. He turned around, shock and embarrassment across his face. "I'm sorry. I'm—just…let me…"

He kneeled down and quickly picked up the scattered papers. His hands shook as he made an effort. Michaela watched his movements, and she quickly put her hands over his. "I'll help you. It's all right."

The man finally looked at her, his eyes sad and haunted. "God bless you, child."

Michaela noticed the silver cross hanging from his neck. "It's good of you to come here. I feel so many patients are often neglected."

They gathered all of the papers and lifted them together. He narrowed his eyes, assessing her, as if he were trying to make a decision. "But it is your work that does the most good, miss."

Suddenly far down the long corridor, horrible crying and screaming echoed from one of the rooms. The man's eyes immediately went to the sounds, and he put his hands on Michaela's shoulders forcing a smile as best he could.

"You must be terribly tired after your long day's work, and I feel awful for making a mess of your work. How would you like to join my wife and me for dinner tonight?" Michaela smiled warmly at the preacher, not seeing any harm in it.

"I'd be honored, Reverend…?" The man let out a sigh of relief and stood taller, seemingly more in charge.

"Reverend Holland Lewis. I am originally from Cambridge, and my family just relocated."

"Welcome to Boston. I'm Michaela Quinn." He kissed her hand, his eyes glowing with new light. "If you will excuse me for a moment, I need to go file these papers."

"Why don't I meet you out front in the lobby, and then I can escort you to my home?" He smiled warmly.

"That sounds lovely. I'll see you in a few minutes." She quickly vanished down the hall, behind closed doors.

Reverend Lewis looked back in the other direction, behind closed doors. He could hear them. Every tear, every scratch, every pleading word. He couldn't watch his son behave so weakly. He had refused to leave that diseased thing, and the guards were still trying to pull him away from her.

Eventually they would. David didn't have the strength. Reverend Lewis looked back in the young lady's direction. That young, clean beautiful woman. He smiled resolutely.

He was right to do this. He knew he was right. It was God's Will.

"Lizzie," Josef whispered, his eyes half-opened.

He had collapsed against his desk. His breathing was shallow and slow, every beat of his heart ringing through his ears.

Elizabeth fell to her knees. She couldn't breathe. This wasn't happening.

"Josef… Don't you do this! I refuse to let you go! Do you hear me? I refuse!"

Josef laughed and reached for her hand. "You can't control my life, Lizzie. As much as you want to, this is out of your hands."

"I'll get Michaela—I'll—" She frantically grabbed her skirts, but he pulled her hand back.

"No Lizzie. If you ruin that party, I'll never forgive you. Come here and let me hold you." Elizabeth looked at him, flabbergasted, but when he raised his eyebrow, she quickly moved beside him.

He put his arm around her and smiled as she huffed, "I don't know why you have to be so stubborn!"

"Because I love you, and I want you with me. Not all the way across the house." Their eyes met as her stubborn tears begin to form.

"You aren't really going to leave me, are you?" Joseph leaned his forehead against hers as her voice cracked. It broke his heart to see this strong woman so fragile. "Because I don't think I would like that very much. I need you, old man."

"Lizzie, you can do anything. Don't you know that? When have you ever needed me?"

"Whose slippers am I going to put out every morning and whose tie am I going to straighten and who am I suppose to dance with?" Josef took her hand in his.

"Close your eyes." When she did, she could hear his labored breathing, and she could feel the slowness of his heart again. She opened her eyes immediately.

"I don't want to, Josef," she protested, reality too present.

"Just do it, Lizzie." She tried again, but still she heard such painful sounds.

Before she could open her eyes, she heard him begin to speak, and she stopped. "It's your fifteenth birthday party. And you're wearing that perfectly white dress with the pink roses around the collar. You walk into the ballroom, and your eyes are so blue and wide and innocent. The most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. I had to have a dance with you. So I asked you. And…"

"And I said no!" Elizabeth said, absolutely mortified at the memory.

"And I was absolutely heartbroken. I didn't ask another girl to dance the whole evening," Josef sighed, in good humor.

"And I'm watching you sit there all alone while these poor fools step on my toes because I'm not paying any attention to them. And finally, the last song of the evening begins to play. And…"

"And I asked you again. This time you said yes. I never met a girl like you in my life. I knew we would be together forever after that." He leaned his head on her shoulder, closing his eyes. "I'll always be there to dance with you. Just close your eyes and think of me."

As the music from the ballroom traveled down the hallway, Elizabeth whispered, "I'm dancing with you now."

As dawn crept in through the window, Michaela raised her head off of Sully chest, shutting her eyes against the light of day. They had never meant to fall asleep.

She looked at their strewn clothes about the room. Her dress was destroyed. She would have to be creative with her attire and hope that no one was awake yet. She shook Sully, and he quickly opened his eyes.

"Hey." He smiled widely and leaned up for a kiss.

She put her finger over his mouth, stopping him. "We have to get dressed now. We overslept, Sully."

He kissed her finger instead. "Understood. I wouldn't want to distract ya."

She shook her head playfully at him and pushed him back down on the floor as she got up to dress.

As they got dressed, they stole glances at each other, trying to hide their shrewd smiles now that they knew what was hidden under all of those stuffy clothes.

"So how do I look?" She turned around in her new attire.

Sully grinned slowly. "Wicked."

"Sully!" She tightened her grandmother's black shawl over her shoulders self-consciously. He reached for her, taking her into his arms.

"You look beautiful. They'll never know. No regrets?"

"None. I love you more than I can say."

"Words will never be enough."

He kissed her one last time, and hand in hand, they reluctantly walked towards the door, leaving their safe haven.

The house was dead quiet when they walked in the back door. Sully and Michaela walked around to the Entrance Hall. Suddenly they heard slow methodical footsteps coming from Josef's study.

It was Elizabeth.

She was still in her dress from the night before. Her face was white, like death. She gripped the banister as her legs gave out from beneath her. Sully and Michaela quickly ran to her, supporting her on either side.

"Mother?" Michaela asked urgently.

Elizabeth turned to her daughter, her eyes lost and alone. "He's gone, Michaela. He left me. He wasn't supposed to leave…"

Michaela gasped as her mother fell against her, crying deep, guttural tears. Sully stepped back as he watched two women break before him. He thought Michaela's pain was over, but he had never seen such sorrow on her face as she clung to her mother.

Abagail. She could help Michaela. Sully ran up the stairs and down the corridor towards Abagail's suite. He quietly opened the door and peered into the dark room.

"Abby?" He called out. He walked further into the room when she didn't answer.

She wasn't in the bed.

He looked under the bed. She wasn't there.

He turned around, and walked out into the hallway, looking in both his room and Michaela's room. She wasn't there.

"Abagail!" He screamed. "Answer Papa now!"

He ran back down the hallway, down the stairs. Michaela's bloodshot eyes met his and she knew. "What is it?"

"Abby's not in her room."

"What!" Michaela tried to control herself, but her emotions were not hers anymore.

"Who was watching her last night?" Sully asked urgently, his eyes on fire.

"Fiona—" Michaela's whole body was shaking, and Elizabeth was inconsolable on the stairs.

"Where is she?"

"The servants' quarters—" Sully and Michaela ran down to the basement of the house, ringing the morning bell for them to wake up.

Fiona came out of the second room, yawning, with sleep still in her eyes. "Yes sir?"

"Where is our daughter?" Sully asked forcefully, his temper uncontrolled.

Fiona's eyes widened stupidly, "I thought she was with you, sir! She said she was going to look for you on the dance floor last night—"

"Oh my God." Michaela covered her mouth guiltily, stepped back and ran back down the hallway and up the stairs.

Michaela ran into the ballroom, her eyes searching for anything, everything, and nothing… Finally landing on the crumbled picture in the center of the marble floors.

It was David.

She dropped the black shawl, falling to her knees in a tangle of white tatters. "Abagail!" She keeled over, curling into the fetal position. "Abagail!"

**_Colorado Springs—1873_**

"Mama!" Abagail sat up, drenched in a cold sweat. "Mama!"

But it wasn't Michaela who comforted her. It never was.

"Nahe," she would say, as if she were their mother. As if she knew who Michaela was. Her sadness was different though. She had never spoken a word of English.

She traced the tears away, holding Abagail's face in her hands. "Nemehotâtse, Abby."

Abagail lifted the sheets, and she climbed under the covers with her. "I love you too, Katie."

Chapter 27

_**Colorado Springs—1873**_

Loren jolted from his bed as harsh knocks on the front door woke him from his much needed slumber. His feet clunked on the hard wooden floor, and he cursed to himself as he shuffled down the stairs, "I swear, if that's you Jake Slicker…"

As he reached the last step, his eyes flew to the door, and he immediately stopped his tirade. He ran to the door, quickly unlocking it. Loren stared at him, restrained tears coming to his eyes.

"Sully."

"Loren," Sully said, equally held back. He swallowed as he stepped inside the old, familiar store. He looked towards the stairs, his heart immediately beginning to ache, knowing he was so close. "The girls?"

Loren walked in front of him, lighting a lantern on the counter. "They're sleepin'."

Sully nodded. He wanted more than anything to go wake them up and hold them in his arms, but with the way that Loren was looking at him, he knew it was best to wait a while. "Has Katie been doin' alright here?"

Loren sighed, shaking his head. "She only talks to Abby."

Sully stepped closer to the stairs, looking up. He closed his eyes, thinking about his baby girl. "Still?"

Loren watched him. He was angry. He felt sorry for the lot of them, but he would never get over what happened. "What do ya expect, Sully? Ya leave the poor thing hidden away half her life with those savages and ya expect the child to be normal?"

Sully turned to Loren, glaring at him. "It wasn't like that, Loren, and ya know it."

Loren backed down from Sully's piercing gaze. "Maybe not. No matter. Those girls have suffered long enough. Abby's at an age where… I don't do her any good. She needs her mother. And Katie—she's always needed her."

"I know. That's why I'm here."

"What happened?" Loren stepped forward, hope building inside of him as he looked into Sully's determined gaze.

"We got the second appeal."

_**Boston—1863**_

Michaela stared at the gray, massive mansion. She hadn't been there in over three years, since the day that David and she left Boston for Colorado Springs. She had never spent much time in the house, except for that first dinner with his family. David didn't like to spend much time with his father or mother, but they had adored Michaela, and had been completely supportive of the move to Colorado Springs.

Seeing them today would be very different.

She reached up to knock on the door, her arm faltering as she tried to make contact. Sully put his arm around her waist, supporting her. "Here. Let me."

He banged on the door, sending harsh reverberations throughout the entire structure. The house didn't respond for a moment, but soon, a lifeless servant came to the door, blocking the entrance.

"Yes, sir?"

"We need to see Reverend Lewis right now," Sully said, agitation clear in his voice.

"I'm sorry, sir, but he's writing his sermon for Sunday's service and won't be disturbed."

Michaela, filled with unbearable fear and grief, pushed past the corpse, nearly knocking him over. "He'll just have to make an exception this time."

As Michaela stormed into the house, the butler tried to stop her, but Sully immediately pushed him out of the way, and followed Michaela back to Reverend Lewis' office. Michaela slammed through the door, making Holland's cigar fall from his lips onto his papers.

"Michaela? My dear! I didn't know you were in town! I—"

Michaela leaned forward on his desk, not wasting anytime. "Where is your son, Holland?"

"What?" He asked, wide eyed and innocent.

"Is he here?" Michaela emphasized every word slowly, her nerves shot as she tried to focus on her task.

Holland laughed good naturedly, wariness in his eyes as his stared at the two fierce figures in front of him. "Michaela, I don't understand… The last letter we received from him said he was stationed in Virginia—"

"He deserted, Holland. It's nearly impossible to go back to Colorado. He would only come here. Where is he?"

Holland held up his hands, anxiety in his eyes. "David's not here. I'm so sorry, Michaela."

Michaela leaned her head over, before pushing back up, and saying with as much control as she could muster, "Would it make any difference if I told you he was sick?"

Holland's hand fell from his face. "Wh-what?"

Sully crossed his chest and stepped closer to the desk, watching every move Holland made. "You heard her."

"How do you know?" Holland asked suddenly.

"What?" Michaela looked at him, staggered.

"You knew he was sick?" Sully dropped his arms, knotting his fists.

"I—I—"

"How long, Holland?" Michaela asked, her voice cracking.

"I really couldn't say, I—" Like a flash, Sully was on the other side of the desk, lifting Holland by his shirt.

"How long!" Sully yelled, pushing Holland back against the bay window.

Holland looked at Sully, his heart pounding in his throat. "I don't know how long! He didn't show symptoms like Suzanne!"

Sully tightened his grip on his shirt. "Who's Suzanne?"

Holland shook his head rapidly. "It doesn't matter!"

Sully hit Holland's head against the window, sending a fissure down the middle of the glass. "Tell us now!"

"Alright! Alright! He was in love with her—and he wanted to marry her, but she got sick—she was crazy—she was destroying my son—he didn't even want to go to medical school anymore! My God! I had to do something! I forced David to put her in the Asylum. But he wouldn't do it. So I did it." Holland was sweating profusely as he wiggled in Sully's grasp.

Michaela stepped directly in front of him. "The day I met you—"

Holland looked in her eyes, guilt still not there. "It was the day we admitted her."

"Dear God." Michaela closed her eyes. "Holland. Is there anything else?"

"Why?"

Michaela took a deep breath. She was not going to lose control in front of this manipulative monster. "We have strong reason to believe that David has kidnapped our daughter."

"You…have a daughter?" Holland looked between Sully and Michaela. A slow, malicious glint sparked his eyes. "Isn't that ironic..."

_**May 25, 1857**_

"Dinner was lovely, Mrs. Lewis. Thank you for having me." Michaela took the small woman's hand in hers, who had talked constantly during dinner, peppering Michaela with questions, hardly letting her eat her meal.

"You must come again, dear. We wouldn't have it any other way." The slight woman smiled widely before looking to her husband.

"It was lovely to meet you, Michaela. It's rather late for Lina and me, so if you don't mind, my son will be escorting you home." Michaela turned to the quiet young man, who hadn't said a word during dinner. She supposed he was shy. He finally lifted his eyes to meet hers, and they were without a doubt, the saddest eyes she had ever seen.

David held his right arm for her. She gingerly took it. She turned around and smiled at the Lewis' again, and then proceeded towards the front door.

It was a warm night, perfect for strolling. Michaela looked at him through her lashes. She couldn't imagine life lacking words. But they traveled on in silence, until they reached her front steps.

Michaela turned to him, meeting his lost eyes. She found a glimmer of interest in them and held on to it as she whispered, "Whatever it is, you should write it down. It always helps me."

Michaela turned and began walking up her front steps. "Wait!" David called after her.

David quickly ran across the street into the Carter's garden. He picked a dozen lilacs and then ran back to Michaela. Michaela gasped at the outlandish arrangement. "Mrs. Carter might miss her flowers if you make a habit out of that."

David almost smiled. "Next time I'll buy you and Mrs. Carter a dozen lilacs… Thank you, Dr. Quinn. Goodnight."

Michaela smiled as he left, smelling the sweet flowers. Maybe he would go write it down. Maybe he would feel better. She hoped so.

**_State Lunatic Hospital of South Boston—1863_**

"Wheh are we?" Abagail whispered as she clung tighter to David's collar, the early morning sun casting strange shadows against the walls of the long, gray hallway.

"A sad, sad place, Caroline."

"Why is it sad?"

"Because it took your mommy away from us."

Abagail turned around and looked at the retreating sunlight. "I wanna go home."

"We will." He patted her back, smiling. "But don't you want to see your mother first?"

"Yeah," she said reluctantly. David walked further down the hall, turning into another corridor, finally stopping in front of a solid gray door.

He looked left and right, checking for any nurses or doctors, and quickly opened the door.

The room barely had any light in it, but Abagail could see the white form stretched along the bed, frail and week, her eyes closed. Her blonde hair was limp and ragged, and her face was iridescent, blue protruding through her skin. Her lips were scarred and chapped, from being bitten, and her eyes were dark holes that seemed to have no ending. She looked like a fallen angel.

But then her eyes opened. David and Abagail turned away in horror.

Suzanne had punctured her right eye. The violet-blue was replaced by a deep black hole.

"I did it for you, my love."

"For God's sakes, why?"

"To be like that _pansy_ you left me for."

"I never left you—I—"

"You loved her."

"Suzanne—"

"You loved her! Don't deny it!"

"Yes! I loved her, but I loved you first, damn it!" David sat on the edge of the bed. "Look. Look who I brought back to you. Now do you believe me? Now do you see that I never stopped loving you?"

Finally realizing that someone else was in the room, Suzanne looked at the child sitting in David's lap, clinging to him.

"Who is she?" Suzanne whispered in confusion.

"Suzanne… Don't you recognize her? She's…she's Caroline." He caressed the shaking child's face as Suzanne watched them through one eye.

Suzanne suddenly began laughing shrilly, looking back and forth between David and Abagail. She calmed after a few moments and said stoically, as though she were just remembering it, "No she's not, David. I killed Caroline, remember?"

Chapter 28

_**State Lunatic Hospital of South Boston—1863**_

Never had a child's scream been more terrified or repulsed. Abagail pushed and kicked out of David's grasp, running as fast as her little legs could carry her.

"Caroline!" David called after her, but Abagail was already out of the sick room.

"That's not our daughter, David! She's gone!" Suzanne grabbed David's coat, pulling him back against her with unnatural force. "She's gone! Don't you remember? She's gone!"

David struggled against her hold, as she began to place soft, soothing kisses on his neck. Finally, he broke, his mind recovering for an instant, and he wailed as he remembered that lost time, "No!"

Suzanne ran her hands over her face, scratching her flaking skin as David cried. "I killed her…You killed her… God killed her… I heard him do it." David turned slowly, a chill running through him as her lethargic words hit him like bricks.

"You heard him?" Suzanne's eyes suddenly closed, and David shook her back into consciousness. "Suzanne! Stay with me… Stay with me! Who did it if it wasn't you?"

She leaned her head against his shoulder, her eyes drooping. She whispered like a prayer, "The father…the son…and the holy ghost…"

_**October 28, 1858**_

It was nearly eleven o'clock. Michaela sat beside Caroline, watching every breath she took. Her fever had dropped, but her condition was still very critical. A shadow suddenly passed over them, and Michaela looked up. It was David.

"How's she doing?" He whispered, as he sat down on the other side of Caroline.

"Her fever's down and she's sleeping soundly." Michaela answered as she caressed Caroline's hand.

David nodded, finally taking his eyes off of the sleeping child. He looked at Michaela and pushed back a fallen wisp of hair. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. Tired, but fine."

"You should get some rest. What good are you to her if you're exhausted?"

Michaela shook her head. "I hate leaving her here alone. She doesn't have anyone."

David nodded and bit the inside of his cheek. "I'll…I'll come back and sit with her. Would that make you feel better?"

Michaela debated for a moment, nodded and stood up. "Thank you for understanding."

As David and Michaela walked out into the hallway, David stopped her and took her hand in his. "You're a wonderful doctor, Michaela, but you're also going to make a wonderful mother someday."

In that one moment, she could see the future in his eyes. His fingers faded into hers, and slowly, they leaned in, until their lips touched in a tentative first kiss. After a few brief, sweet moments, they pulled away. Michaela smiled shyly as David's face lit up completely.

"I haven't… It's been such a long time since…" David stammered. He finally looked at her with tears in his eyes. "You give me hope, you know that?"

"I…I…" Michaela blushed profusely, not knowing what to say to such a compliment. "Walk me home?"

"I'd be honored." He held his arm out for her, and she took it. When they got to the door, he stopped suddenly.

"David? What is it?" Michaela asked as she watched him close his eyes and shake his head.

He put his hand to his temple, recomposing himself. "I'm…I'm sorry Michaela. I just got dizzy for a moment."

"Has it happened before?" She asked.

"No, never." He stood up straight, clearing his throat self-consciously.

"When you come back, I want you to pull out one of the cots and get some sleep. Alright?" Michaela caressed his cheek, concerned.

"Doctor's orders?" He grinned at her, as they left the corridor. The door creaked behind them, and the sound of bare feet against the wooden floor reverberated through the wing.

"Why? Why why why why why?" She moaned over and over again as she watched them leave together, arm and arm. He had forgotten all about her. He hadn't even helped her escape. She had to do that all on her own.

Suzanne could hear the nurses coming, and she quickly ducked into Caroline's room, shutting the door behind her. They would be looking for her. She had to be careful. Very, very careful.

The noise jolted the little girl, and she slowly opened her blind eyes. "Dr. Mike?" She whispered. "Is that you?"

Suzanne turned to her little girl, speechless at the sight of her child. "No…No….No… Caroline, listen to me, it's your momma. Your momma's finally here, angel."

"Momma?" Caroline asked hopefully, her voice sweet and innocent, despite the illness.

Suzanne walked around the bed, sitting beside her. It had been too long. "Yes, it's me, baby."

Caroline felt around her mother's hands in her darkness. "Where did you go?"

Suzanne took Caroline's hands in hers. "A bad place. A place you'll never had to go."

"Don't leave me again," Caroline begged.

Suzanne kissed her little hands. "I won't. I promise I won't."

Suddenly commanding footsteps made their way down the hallway. Suzanne looked at Caroline and kissed her forehead before sliding to the floor and hiding under the bed.

The door slowly opened, and Suzanne could see black shoes and black pants hanging from the side of the bed.

"Hello Caroline," he said. "You've grown quite a bit from the last time we saw each other."

"Who are you?" Her voice was small compared to his.

"A friend." Suzanne froze. She knew his voice.

"Why are you here?"

Suzanne tried to move, but she couldn't. She was so scared. She didn't want to go back to that prison. She had to stay with her baby no matter what. "To make things right," he said.

"How?" Caroline asked curiously.

"You feel bad, don't you?" He asked, as though he were reading her mind.

"Yes."

"Wouldn't you like all that pain to go away?"

She hesitated for a moment, and then said, "Yes."

"Wouldn't you like to play all day long and never stop?"

"Yes."

"Then just close your eyes, and I'll make all your dreams come true."

"Like magic?" She said naively.

"Just like magic." There was completely silence in the room. Suzanne couldn't breath. Suddenly she heard Caroline gasp in pain.

"I commit your soul to Christ, in the name of the father, and the son, and the holy ghost. Amen. Sleep, Caroline, sleep." He quickly left the room, his footsteps fading further and further into the distance.

"Momma?" Caroline called weakly.

Suzanne scrambled out from underneath the bed, quickly examining her daughter's fragile form.

"What did he do, Caroline? What did he do?" Suzanne lifted the girl in her arms, her blue eyes wide in shock and her breath shallow.

Caroline tangled her hands in Suzanne's hair, bringing her face as close to her mother's face as she could. "I can see you, mama," she smiled, her body stilling, losing all feeling, all blood flow. "I can see you!"

The door suddenly opened, and David was standing there. Caroline's eyes met his. "Daddy! You were here! I knew you were here—"

She reached for his hand, and David quickly took it, only glancing at Suzanne briefly before he sat close to Caroline.

He looked at her dilated eyes, realizing that something was dreadfully wrong. "What did you give her?" He asked Suzanne urgently.

Suzanne's chin trembled like a little girl, and she cried helplessly, "It's like magic, David. She won't hurt anymore. She'll run and play forever and ever—"

His heart stopped as he stared at her in horror. He began to get up, but Caroline stopped him. "Don't leave me, Daddy!"

"I have to, sweetheart, there's something bad in your body, and I have to stop it—" David ran out of the room, running to the medical supply room down the hall. He scanned the various medicines, none offering any answers, since he didn't know what was given to Caroline.

He hit the wall and ran back into her room. Caroline was nestled into Suzanne's arms, and her eyes were fading. There was nothing he could do. He had failed them both.

"Daddy," Caroline whispered faintly, "Tell me a story."

He slowly went to the bed and put his arms around them both, holding them as closely as he could. Caroline put her head against his chest and looked up at him. He was at a loss for stories. He could only think of one. "Once upon a time…there was this lost little girl named Pearl… She wandered in the forest with her mother… but she was never scared because God's light would follow her no matter where she went… People were sometimes afraid of Pearl because she was different… But she was so loved by her mother and father… And one day, her father realized the hypocrisy of the town, and he went to join the woman he loved and his child in the forest… and they all lived together… and played together forever and ever in the light."

Caroline's breathing was faint, and her back arched as she reached up to touch her father's face. "I can see it, Daddy, I can see the light—I—"

All the tension in her body suddenly evaporated, and her head fell back on David's arm. She was gone.

David pulled her against him, holding her freed body one last time. Suzanne got up, wringing and shaking her hands until she collapsed on the floor, breaking down completely.

"It's my fault—it's my fault! I killed her! I killed my baby!" David and Suzanne looked at each other. His heart sank as he realized how lost she was to him—how far she had gone. They had lost all hope.

_**1863**_

The carriage spun through the streets of South Boston, quickly stopping in front of the Hospital as Sully and Michaela jumped out of it in a whirlwind. They mounted the steps and ran through the hallways of the asylum.

"Abagail!" Sully screamed, pushing through doors, looking through every dark passageway. "David! Be man enough to show ya face if ya here!"

Michaela turned to Sully, taking his hands in hers. "We should split up. They could be anywhere. I'm going to try Suzanne's room. You look down the rest of the wing."

"Alright. Be safe." He kissed her fully on the mouth before letting her go. "I love you."

"I love you more," she exhaled, gathering her strength before she set off down the long gray hall.

Her heart began to pound furiously as she came to large gray door. She could hear voices inside. Michaela leaned her head against the door, trying the grasp all that she hadn't seen, all that she had misjudged. It was all behind that door.

Suddenly a large hand came up from behind her and covered her mouth. A harsh, angry voice whispered in her ear, "I wouldn't let her ruin my son, and I won't let you do it either, Dr. Quinn!"

As the hand pulled her back in the hallway, Michaela bit his hand, screamed and pushed away.

The door flung open, and David stood on the other side. "Michaela!"

Taking advantage of their shock, Reverend Lewis grabbed Michaela again and pulled out a revolver, sticking next to her throat.

"Now. We're going to do this my way, son."

"Abagail!" Sully called out again, as he came to the end of the corridor. At his wits end, he began looking in the rooms, one at a time.

A nurse saw him at the top of the corridor and began watching him. "Excuse me! Sir! Just what do you think you're doing?"

"I'm sorry, m'am. But my daughter is missing."

"Those are private rooms, sir. You could be endangering the patients' health!" But Sully ignored the woman's protests and barged into the laundry room.

Several women looked up from their washing pans, and Sully stepped back. "Excuse me. I'm just lookin' for my little girl."

Just as Sully was about to shut the door, a small voice came from underneath a pile of laundry. "Papa! I'm undah heh, Papa!"

Sully quickly pushed back into the room and tore through the laundry until he found Abagail at the bottom of the mound.

"Thank God," Sully exhaled, as he lifted her into his arms.

"Let her go, you bastard." David took a step forward, but Holland pulled the gun on him.

"What a way to talk to your father. After all I've done for you, look how you repay me." He snarled as he tightened his hold around Michaela's neck.

David stared at his father, hate ruining through every fiber of his being. "You haven't done anything for me but ruin my life! Ruin theirs!"

A wave suddenly came over David and he stammered back, grabbing his head as he leaned against the door for support.

His father laughed as he began to fall under pressure. "Look at you! You can't even fight like a man without crumbling like the sick ingrate you are. I should have let you rot in this place with that whore of yours years ago."

David stood back up, his eyes going back and forth between his father's and Michaela's. "Let Michaela go! She didn't do anything!"

"She's going to tell the world about you, David. I can't have that. She's not even useful to me anymore. She's in love with another man. They've even got a child together—how's that for vengeful?" David swallowed and looked straight in Michaela's eyes.

"David—" Michaela began, but he held his hand up, his eyes pleading with so many things unsaid.

He quickly lifted his jacket and shook his head slowly, flashing his revolver in his belt. "No, Michaela. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have told you everything after Caroline died. It wasn't you. The medicine didn't have any affect—"

Holland growled and cocked the revolver. "If you say one more word—"

"I won't live by your hand anymore, father."

"Then you'll die by it."

As Sully ran down the hall with Abagail in his arms, four loud gun shots rang out in rapid succession.

When they turned down the corridor, Michaela was standing in the center of the floor holding David's revolver in her right hand. Reverend Lewis had been shot through the heart, dead. Suzanne was lying against David, shot in the head. Hot blood poured out of David's back as he looked up to Michaela.

"Michaela?" Sully whispered.

She turned to him, revealing a bullet wound in her shoulder. She looked back to David, and then the world went black.

Chapter 29

_**1863**_

His body quaked as he watched her body hit the floor, as the sensations and feelings left his, his eyes never left hers. Her face fell against his back, breaking her fall. His blood caressed her face, darkening her fair complexion forever.

"Michaela," David whispered, "Michaela…"

Sully left Abagail standing in the middle of the hallway as he ran to Michaela. He turned her over in his arms, applying pressure over the oozing wound. "Michaela!" Sully pleaded urgently, "Open your eyes, Michaela!"

Suddenly, David reached out and grabbed Sully's wrist. "Get…her out… of here…"

"What? Are you insane? She needs a doctor!" Sully tried to free himself from David's grasp, but David held him even tighter.

"Just do it. Get her out!" David's chest began to palpitate rapidly as a small pool of blood crept around him. "I'm trying to protect her, don't you see that?"

"But she didn't do anything wrong, David!" Sully finally turned David's hand around, dominating the hold. "Runnin' away will just make it worse for her—"

"Do you not see the gun in her hand! People don't care about the truth! They care about what makes a good story! A good trial! Three…bullets where fired…from that gun… Get her out of here. Give me the gun… I'll… take the blame…" Sully and David locked eyes for a brief moment. All Sully could see were years ahead of trials and misunderstandings and separations. He hated to admit it, but David was right. They had to leave. Tonight.

Deftly, Sully picked Michaela up in his arms as the gun dropped to the ground beside David. He turned back to Abagail, whose face was ashen with horror and fear. Sully met her eyes. He didn't know what to say to the little girl. "Let's go, Abby," was all he could manage.

Abagail looked at the pool of bodies and blood she had to walk through, and then she saw the eyes of the dying man, whom she now knew was David. She kept her eyes on her papa as she walked past him. But as she was about to leave, she turned around suddenly, and met David's eyes. "I sorry bout ya little girl."

David's eyes clouded over once more as he looked in Abagail's compassionate eyes and he smiled. "Goodbye Caroline."

As their footsteps faded, new footsteps seemed to approach, but David couldn't keep his eyes open any longer as he found comfort in the bed of crimson water.

As Dr. Hanson finished dressing her wound, he looked skeptically around the tension filled room. Being summoned to the Quinn's home in the middle of the day while he was preparing for surgery was strange, let alone unheard of, but when he saw the young daughter of his colleague with a bullet in her shoulder, he was filled with even more questions. Upon learning of Josef's death, he couldn't refuse Elizabeth anything, but now he wasn't as confident that he should be involved in a case where the victim couldn't even be admitted into the hospital. He couldn't help but feel that this was a matter for the authorities, but with that long-haired heathen afoot and the other well-toned slave man lurking around; it didn't seem the best ethical decision for the benefit of his own health and prosperity.

"When will she be ready to travel?" Sully asked, shaking Dr. Hanson from his thoughts.

"A good solid week. Her body needs to heal. Travel will do nothing but deter that process," Dr. Hanson answered matter-of-factly, not making eye contact with the man.

"Well, thank you so much, Dr. Hanson, for coming by," Elizabeth said, in the most upbeat tone imaginable.

He met her eyes and nodded. "May I speak with you out in the hall for a moment, Mrs. Quinn?"

She led the way, and they were soon alone in the dimly lit hallway. He took her hands in his, extreme concern and compassion lighting his face. "I know this hasn't been an easy day for you. And this incident with your daughter cannot be helping matters. I just wanted to tell you privately how terribly sorry I am for your loss, and if there is ever anything I can do for you, please let me know, and I will be at your service," Dr. Hanson said with great flare, sincerity not marking any of his gestures.

A small, confused smile sprung up on Elizabeth's face as she removed her hands from Dr. Hanson's. "I appreciate the sentiment, truly I do, Dr. Hanson. But if you'll forgive me, what loss are you referring to?"

Dr. Hanson frowned as reality did not register with Elizabeth, and he simply smiled again, patting her shoulder. "Never mind. I'll return tomorrow to check on your daughter."

Elizabeth's face lit once more, and she nodded. "I'll see you to the door, Dr. Hanson."

Sully stepped out into the doorway, having overheard the conversation. He hadn't liked a word he had heard.

_**1873**_

_They were coming again, fast and furious, they didn't care who they killed, they didn't care who they shot, her navo'êstanemo! Where were they? And No Harm, did he get away? Did he get out? They were all gone, all scattered, screaming, shouting, crying—but wait…What are you doing here, little white girl? You don't belong here… Come here… Come here… Come here_…

"Wake up, Kates, wake up!" Katie shook her head, keeping her eyes closed as she heard his voice calling her from her sleep. She was scared to open her eyes because every time she did, the people she loved vanished.

But strong arms surrounded her, holding her in their warm embrace, and she could smell his worn cotton shirt and buckskin, just as she remembered when she was a baby, and she clung to him fiercely, winding her arms around his neck, finally opening her eyes to see his long, golden hair. "Neho'e!" she exclaimed.

Sully kissed the top of her head and whispered, "Yeah, I'm back, sweet girl."

She turned to her right when she felt something tugging on her long blonde braids. She smiled at her sister, who finally had a big smile on her face. "Ehane."

Sully held his arm opened for Abagail and she went into it. "I'm so glad to see my girls again."

They sat together for a few moments, just holding each other. Finally Abagail pulled away and looked into Sully's eyes pensively, her voice very quiet, "How…how is she?"

Sully sighed deeply, looking down, letting go of both of them. "I won't lie to ya, Abby. She misses ya and Katie more than I can even tell ya. But we're fightin' this. We finally got the second appeal, and there's a very good chance we're goin' to win this one."

Abby nodded and stood from the bed, walking over to the window. "That's what ya said the last time."

Sully stood up and followed her. "We've got new evidence."

Abby crossed her arms, looking down into the streets of Colorado Springs. "Did David wake up?"

Sully was quiet for a few minutes before answering. She had asked this question many, many times, and the answer had always been the same. "No."

Abagail turned around, he temper finally sparked, her dark eyes blazing. "Then what the hell does it matter? The verdict will still be the same!"

Sully snapped, astonished she was speaking to him that way. "Abagail! I did not raise you to talk like that to me!"

Abby stepped up to him, her bare toes against his boots. "No ya didn't! Ya haven't raised me at all!"

"Abby—" He tried to reach out to her, but she shirked away from his touch.

Her fair face was three different shades of red as she screamed, pacing around the room furiously, "What are ya even doin' here? It doesn't do us any good for you to drop in for a few nights and then run out again!"

Sully dropped down on his knees and grabbed her shoulders. "Abby, look at me. We didn't think that Boston would be the right place for you to grow up, around the trials and everything else going on. Ya would have never had a normal life there. But there's people here that love ya so much and want the best for ya."

Abby's shoulder's slumped, her fire fading as her voice began to crack ever so slightly, "But we still didn't get to be with you. I didn't know what happened to Katie for the longest time. I thought she was dead. I thought—"

"Come here, babygirl. Come here." Sully held out his arms for Abagail, and she completely crumbled in them. Katie stepped up slowly behind them, and put her hand on Abagail's back.

She looked in Sully's eyes and whispered, "Hesta eonenêšeotse."

"How do I fix it?" He whispered back.

"Tosa'e netao'setsêhe'ohtse?" She answered simply.

Sully nodded, looking between his two girls. Loren was right. They needed their mother. They needed to be a family again, despite everything. They would leave for Boston tomorrow.

_**1863**_

Dr. Hanson stood on the doorstep of the Quinn's estate the next morning. He tried to find some measure of guilt in his heart for bringing the authorities with him, but truly, it wasn't there. Martha finally opened the door, and her face completely dropped when she saw the police with Dr. Hanson.

"May I help you, sir?" She asked nervously. After everything Dr. Mike had done for her sister, there was no way she would allow this man to hurt her beloved mistress now.

"I've come to check on a patient, your mistress, madam. If you will kindly step aside." Martha looked at Dr. Hanson wide eyed, not knowing what to do in this situation.

"Sir, I—I…"

"Step aside, madam, please!" Dr. Hanson barged through the door with two burly police officers by his side. They stormed the stairs and rounded the corner, pushing into Michaela's bedroom.

The bed was empty.

"Excuse me, sir!" Elizabeth Quinn bellowed from the hallway. "Just what do you think you are doing in my house?"

Dr. Hanson turned around, flabbergasted to see the matriarch looking so stately and in control. "Where did your daughter go, Mrs. Quinn?"

"I have no idea what you mean, Dr. Hanson."

"Your daughter! Your daughter! The one who was shot! The one who had that hooligan of a man hovering over her and that darky! You know the one!"

"Well, I can assure you, Dr. Hanson, that we entertain no such persons in this house. Now, if you will kindly leave, I have several things to attend to."

"Oh! So now you remember that your husband's dead! How very convenient!"

Elizabeth turned slowly and looked at him, tears grazing the corners of her eyes as she blinked several times, not quite grasping the meaning of his words. "What did you say?"

"I said your husband's dead! He's dead, Mrs. Quinn! You can stop putting on this ridiculous, phony act!" As Dr. Hanson began chuckling maliciously, one of the officers pulled him back slowly, once he noticed the lost expression on Elizabeth's face.

"Stop it, sir. Stop it now… She doesn't know…" He whispered vehemently. Elizabeth's face lost all color, and the light dropped from her eyes as her knees buckled out from under her. Dr. Hanson's laughter dissipated quickly as the policemen rushed to Elizabeth's side, trying to revive her, as the missing daughter was completely forgotten.

"Now, you two just rest here, and me and Miss Ab'gail are gonna take care of everythin', ain't that right?" Robert E said as optimistically as possible as he took Abby by the hand and walked towards the dining cart on the train.

As Robert E led the way, Abby looked back towards her parents, who were frighteningly quiet in the car. Had anything good come out of this trip? She didn't know the answer.

Michaela slowly opened her eyes and looked up to Sully. She swallowed hard. "I didn't get to say goodbye… After everything, I didn't even get the chance to tell him I loved him one last time."

He caressed the side of her face, comforting her. "He knew… After all, he gave us his blessing. It was one of the last things he did."

Michaela nodded, closing her eyes, thinking of their early morning departure, and the expression on Elizabeth's face. It was haunting. "I hate leaving mother now."

Sully leaned over and kissed her forehead, wishing there was something more he could do. "I know. But we couldn't stay. There was something not right about that doctor. I didn't trust him."

She found his hand and laced it through hers in the air. "I understand."

He looked down in her drooping eyes. "How do you feel?"

"Tired. Every time I move…" Michaela stopped speaking for a moment, grimaced and looked in Sully's eyes. "Sully?"

"Yeah?"

She paused, her eyes clouded and her voice searching, "Did David tell you what happened?"

Sully shook his head slowly. "No… He just said that three bullets were fired from the gun you were holding."

Michaela whispered nervously, "Oh."

"Michaela?"

His hand ran back and forth over her forehead, creating a gently, lulling sensation, searching, searching…"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"Sully…"

He continued, reaching, searching, caressing, "It's ok… You can tell me anything."

Her voice was haunted, lost, so lost, searching for lost time, as she whispered, "Sully, it's not that. I… I just don't remember."

**_Cheyenne Translations: navo'êstanemofamily, Neho'e!My father, Ehaneour father, Hesta eonenêšeotse Her heart is broken, Tosa'e netao'setsêhe'ohtse Where are you going? _**

Chapter 30

_**1863**_

Days passed, and soon, January was a forgotten memory. With the wagon destroyed, and blockades surrounding the door into the frontier, they had no choice but to travel on foot. They moved cautiously, the beauty of the mid-west often clashing with the horror of war as they crawled across the plains. Despite weeks passing, Michaela did not improve. In fact, she seemed to be growing weaker. She was determined to make it back to Colorado Springs, but no one could ignore her ghostly pallor or the fine sheen of sweat splayed over her face.

Her head was heavy against Sully's shoulder as they neared the Kansas border, the February chill biting and unforgiving, as they clung to each other, as she tried to hold on to wakefulness.

But the ground beneath them began to shake, and she felt Sully pulling her off the main road as the sound of hooves amplified and became more pronounced, more foreboding. She held onto Sully's shirt as they ducked into the trees, and he pulled her closer to him. She had never felt like this before. The area around the bullet still ached, yes, but the rest of her body simply cried out for sleep. She nestled into Sully's neck as the riders' approached. Perhaps if she only closed her eyes for a little while…

As Michaela's body went limp in Sully's arms, he lost his footing, and slid down further into the ravine. Abagail gasped and gripped Robert E's shirt as her mother collapsed. He quickly put his hand over her mouth, muffling her noise.

But it was too late. Two horses stopped abruptly in the middle of the road, and suddenly a gun fired high in the sky.

"Alrighty!" Shouted a distinctly Southern female voice, "We know someone's out there! Now you just show ya faces before I make gravy stew out of ya insides, ya here!"

Relief swept over Sully. Thank God it wasn't the army or dog soldiers. Robert E and Sully looked at each other. Robert E slowly took his hand away from Abagail's mouth, and Sully proceeded to lift Michaela in his arms.

"We're comin' out!" Robert E called back.

"We don't gots guns!" Abagail echoed as they stepped up through the trees.

"Oh my word!" The second woman lifted her gun and peered closely at the fair skinned little girl clinging tightly to the black man. "You are the spittin' image of—"

She nearly dropped her reigns when Sully emerged from the trees with Michaela in his arms. She immediately jumped off her horse and went to them. "My God, _Sully_? Is it really you?"

Sully nodded as he looked into her questioning eyes, too worried about Michaela to offer any explanations at the moment. He dropped to his knees, cradling Michaela's head in his arms. "She needs help, Miss Olive."

Olive looked up to her companion. "Grace, get down here and give me a hand." Olive frowned, knowing there was more trouble here than she wanted, but she felt the young woman's pale face anyway. "She ain't runnin' a fever, Sully. How long has she been been out?"

"Just a minute or two." All of a sudden, Michaela moaned slightly, and her eyes fluttered.

"Sully?" She whispered softly, as she faded in and out of consciousness.

"Shhh…" Sully kissed her forehead, unaware of the raised brow of Miss Olive. "It's gonna be alright now. We're almost home."

"Is Mama gonna be k?" Abagail asked as she slid down from Robert E's arms. Olive's face dropped suddenly, remembering the last day she saw her niece, when Abagail told her that she was going to have a baby. She had been so happy, so hopeful. And now…?

"Miss Sully?" Michaela reached for Abagail's little hand and took it in hers. Abagail scooted close to Michaela, nestling by her side.

"I here, Mama," Abagail looked in Sully's eyes, smiling reassuringly. "Papa and I are gonna take good care of ya."

It was then that Miss Olive realized she was looking at a new family. It didn't seem right. Abagail was supposed to be in that picture, not this strange woman.

As Grace felt the tension radiating off of Miss Olive, she broke away from the group, moving back to her horse and supplies. As she began unloading her cooking supplies, she noticed the other man looking equally as awkward among the group. She caught his dark eyes and smiled saucily. He smiled back, and she could have sworn they were thinking the same exact thing.

He meandered over to her, holding her eyes across the horse. "Ya need any help, miss?"

"I was gonna make us all somethin' to eat, considerin' you have a fainter over there, and I suspect Miss Olive wants to catch up with her friends. There's nothin' like a good meal to get people talkin'."

Robert E nodded and raised his brows as well as his voice. "Oh, I suspect there's a wealth of information to be had 'bout Dr. Mike and Sully." 

Grace took out a skillet as well as a small bag of flour. "A lady doctor? Really?"

"Yeah. Ain't that something?" They walked over to a small clearing by the side of the road. Robert E began to pick up small kindling all around while Grace assorted her cooking supplies.

"We just come from St. Louis, where I heard the most horrible story about a lady doctor." Grace said over her shoulder.

Robert E froze and stood up cautiously. "Ya did?"

"Oh, I can't even talk about it—it was just awful! I hardly believe it, to tell ya the truth." Grace shook her head, shivering at the thought of it.

Robert E stopped picking up sticks and stepped closer to her, his heart suddenly pounding and all of his senses on fire. "Do they know what happened to the doctor?"

Grace shrugged as she stirred a biscuit mixture in a bowl. "I suppose the authorities are after her. Who knows. It's probably just all talk and foolishness."

Robert E knew the discussion was over. He knew it would be risky to pry any further, so he dropped the sticks he had gathered in a pile and sat down beside her. "Well, why don't I help ya with dinner, miss?"

"I never let anyone touch my food," she said dryly, before a slow smile spread across her face, "but ya can certainly keep me company."

_**1873**_

The pink calico dress felt strange against her skin. She missed the soft, worn leather terribly, but she could never tell Abby that, after such generosity of spirit. Katie looked in the mirror, touching the soft blonde ringlets, no longer in straight braids. Her eyes were her father's, but she did not know who the rest of her face belonged to. She could not remember. What if her mother did not remember either?

She swallowed nervously and walked towards the bedroom door. She would know in seven days.

Abagail stood anxiously by the stagecoach as they loaded their luggage. She felt as if the whole town was watching.

Her grandfather stood on the store porch, watching with a disgruntled look on his face. She knew that he didn't want her to go. He never had.

And then there was another set of eyes that she didn't dare to look at. Brian was standing in front of the boarding house, watching her intently.

Charlotte stepped outside and stopped immediately when she saw her boy frozen in place and his eyes glued on the pretty young girl in the yellow taffeta dress whom she barely recognized as Abagail Sully, being so dressed up.

She had never seen such a hopeless expression on Brian's face before. She knew she shouldn't interfere, but she couldn't help herself. Slowly, she sashayed up behind him and leaned over his shoulder. "Ain't ya gonna say goodbye to Abby?"

"I don't think she wants me to," Brian said glumly.

"Brian, you two have been terrorizin' this town since ya were in diapers. Of course she wants to say goodbye to ya!"

"Ya don't understand, ma," Brian looked down, finally breaking his gaze from Abagail. All he could see was the expression on her face when she pushed away from him.

Charlotte put her hands on his shoulders, giving him a good squeeze. "Well, even if I don't understand, I certainly know this. Sometimes what a girl says don't give any indication of what really lies in her heart."

"Really?" Brian looked over his shoulder into her eyes. Charlotte grinned and winked quickly before walking back inside.

Katie walked down the stairs of the store, and she met her father's eyes with a wary uncertainty. A smile spread across Sully's face as he watched his baby girl come towards him. She smiled self-consciously at him, and he couldn't help but see Michaela in her shy gestures.

He held out his hand for her, and she took it. "Emo'onahe," he said softly to her. As he began to lead her towards the door, she froze, her eyes worried and bare to him. "Ee'tohtahe," she whispered.

Sully squeezed her hand and pulled her close to him. "It's gonna be alright, Kates. She knows your spirit. She'd know you anywhere."

Brian took a deep breath and walked across the street towards the stagecoach. He knew exactly what he needed to say. Hopefully he wouldn't lose his nerve.

"Now, I've made ya favorite for the trip. And in return, you better send Dr. Mike all our love, ya here?" Grace ordered bossily, trying to keep herself from getting emotional.

"What would I do without you and Robert E?" Abagail threw her arms around Robert E and Grace. Robert E squeezed her shoulder and their eyes met. He was more than just a friend—he was like a second father.

"I've got a feelin', Abby. You'll bring her home." She nodded. If she could believe anyone, it was Robert E.

Suddenly Grace cleared her throat and elbowed Robert E in the ribs. "Looks like someone else wants to say goodbye."

Abby frowned at their strange expressions and turned around quizzically. Brian was standing there with a wildflower in his hand. "I…um… just wanted to tell ya…I'm sorry bout the other day and…"

Brian glanced nervously to the store where Mr. Bray was eyeing them like a hawk. He could feel his ma's eyes behind him; he didn't even have to look. Robert E and Grace were trying to be discreet, but it was obvious they were staring too. And just his luck, Sully and Katie just walked out of the store.

"And what, Brian?" Abagail asked, her face blushing as she felt everyone's eyes surrounding her.

"And I just want ya to know…" Brian took a deep breath, forcing himself to stop staring at the hemline of her dress and look into her eyes. "I'll wait for ya."

Brian held out the flower for her, and she stared at it. Her hands slid down to the yellow taffeta, crinkling the fabric in her hand. A few seconds turned into a few moments, and eyes began flashing around the town, one more concerned than the next, none of them knowing how to save these children from such a crushing moment.

When Brian didn't lower his hand and when she didn't take the flower, Sully quickly stepped up to the stagecoach and helped Katie inside. He stood by the door, and glanced between the two young people guiltily. He never thought it would go this far. His daughter was afraid to love.

"Abby, it's time."

Abagail quickly moved away from her lock with Brian and rushed into the stagecoach. Sully looked at the boy. He finally lowered his hand.

"Goodbye Brian," Sully said as gently as he could. Brian only nodded. He didn't even look at Sully.

Sully jumped onto the stagecoach. Abagail had her face buried in Katie's lap, and Katie was gently rubbing her back. "Hey, hey…" Sully soothed as pent-up sobs escaped her lips. "It's gonna be alright, Abby."

"No it's not! I was so mean and nasty to him. Why did he have to go ruin everythin'?" Sully picked her off of Katie's lap as he smoothed her dark ringlets down.

"Brian likes ya, sweetheart. He's always liked ya. There's nothing wrong with that. And it's ok if you like him too."

"I don't wanna like him. Likin' people just makes ya miserable. Look at you and mama!"

"We've had some tough times… That's true, Abby. But I wouldn't know what happiness was if it wasn't for ya ma… I would have gone on bein' miserable the rest of my life, alone probably. Ya wanna let people in, even if ya might get hurt. Even if people ain't there sometimes, they can still love ya… like ya ma in heaven… I know she still loves us, even if she can't be with us anymore. It's worth it, Abby."

Abby sat in silence for a moment, taking in his words. Suddenly, they were jolted backwards, and the stage was off. When she leaned up again, she looked hesitantly between Katie and Sully but then made her decision. She suddenly screamed, "Stop the coach!"

But the coach didn't stop, despite the volume of her voice.

Sully suddenly banged on the side of the door as hard as he could. "Hey driver! We need to stop the coach!"

But the stage kept going and the buildings and stores kept passing them by. Abby looked panicked as she screamed again, and Sully opened the side door and leaned out, "Hey, ya gotta stop the coach for my girl!"

Suddenly out of nowhere, Katie let out the most high-pitched, piercing scream imaginable, like a Cheyenne warrior about to go into battle, and the stage came to an abrupt halt.

Abagail quickly jumped to her feet and scurried out of the stage coach. She looked back down the street and Brian was still standing there with the wildflower in his hand. He hadn't given up on her yet.

She looked back to Sully and said softly, "I'll just be a minute, Papa."

Sully nodded and smiled. He turned back to Katie, who was sitting calmly in the corner of the coach. She looked at him through the corner of her eye, and a faint grin appeared in the corner of her mouth. She had the soul of an Indian chief, but when she wanted something done, she fought like a warrior.

As Abagail ran the last few steps back to Brian, her bonnet flew off and sent her ringlets running wild again. She stood in front of him, out of breath and panting. Brian's eyes lit up again, and he held up the flower for her to take. Her hand lingered on his as she took it slowly.

Everybody was watching them again, but they didn't seem to notice this time.

"I should go," she said, as she finally took the wildflower.

"I meant it, Abby," Brian whispered, his blue eyes soft and open to her.

She frowned slightly at his lost, love-sick look. "You… want me to kiss ya, don't ya?"

Suddenly broken out of his haze, Brian couldn't help but smirk self-consciously. "I…um…told ya… I can wait."

She narrowed her eyes, hiding her knowing grin. "Can not."

He shook his head, trying not to give her the satisfaction of knowing. "Can too."

"Abby! This stage ain't gonna wait forever!" Sully called back down the road.

Brian sighed, knowing the moment was gone, and took her hand in his. "I guess I'll see ya when you get back."

"Ok…" She nearly pouted, knowing that time was slipping away. "Just don't go do anythin' fun while I'm gone."

"I'll try not too." Slowly, she let go of his hand, and ran back towards the stagecoach, trying not to look back, but doing it anyway. He was still standing there, watching her leave. Smiling. Waiting.

She looked at Sully as she got back in the coach. "Did I do ok?"

Sully sighed and put his arms around Abby and Katie. "Abby, it is safe to say that ya have that poor boy spinnin' in circles around ya."

Sully kissed the top of Abby's head and then Katie's. "Well, at least I don't have to worry about ya yet, Miss Katie."

Katie smiled slightly but looked away from her father's eyes. As the buildings of town began to disappear, she peered out the window, and looked towards the Colorado Mountains, wondering where he was, where he was, where he was…

_**1863**_

Olive watched Michaela and Abagail across the fire. Grace raised her eyebrows at her as she handed her friend a cup of coffee. "Ya might actually try speakin' to her, Miss Olive."

"What for?" Olive said as she took a sip of coffee.

"Well, seems to me… she loves that little girl an awful lot. That's somethin', ain't it?" Olive watched as Michaela crinkled up her nose as she said something to Abagail, and the little girl covered her mouth, burying her face in Michaela's shoulder in a fit of giggles.

"She's a stranger, Grace. And she's raisin' my niece's child. I just don't feel right about it." Olive took another sip of coffee and kept watching. She didn't know what, but something had to be done.

"So ya think they're after us?" Sully whispered to Robert E. They had walked deeper into the woods to gather more wood, while the ladies cleaned up after supper.

"I don't know if it could even be the same story, but it's awful coincidental, don't ya think?"

Sully stood still for a moment, looking at the giant trees surrounding them. "Then maybe goin' back to Colorado Springs ain't the best idea."

Robert E sighed, looking up at the starry night through the leaves. "Well, where else can ya go? Dr. Mike's ain't exactly the most inconspicuous woman I ever met in my life."

Sully almost smiled. "No she ain't. We'll have to come up with a plan. Tonight."

All of a sudden, the trees began to thrash around them and a piercing warrior cry burst through as an arrow sliced through Robert E's arm.

He dropped to the ground and Sully immediately gripped his tomahawk, turning in the darkness, looking for their predator.

And then the warrior stood before him, a single patch covering his eye. His name was One Eye.

_**Emo'onaheBeautiful, Ee'tohtaheform of afraid (I'm afraid)**_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 31

**_1873—Boston Penitentiary for Women _**

Dark rain drizzled down the tiny window, but Michaela did not see it. She did not see the gray brick walls or feel the hard bed against her back. She didn't see the black bars or hear the catcalls of the other women. But she did hear bedtime stories with never ending questions… she remembered a cold, rainy, January night that never felt warmer…she smelled lilacs before they wilted… she saw blue eyes… There was a locked door, an open shirt… His hands, strong, protective, the perfect cradle, holding their love, holding their child… She watched Katie walk and run and shout around the campfire… She chaperoned Abby's first dance… She heard Katie's first words…They had been…They had been… "Papa" and "Mama" and she had run into her arms, her blonde hair soft as feathers, and she had said, "I love you, Mama…I love you so much…"

The dreams were both real and imaginary now. It was how she kept her sanity. She had received a letter every day from Abagail. Her shaky letters had slowly turned to a graceful, cursive penmanship. Her voice had changed. Her questions had changed. And it broke Michaela's heart that she didn't see any of these changes happen.

Sully tried to relay as many details as he could on their all too brief visitations, but he too was seeing the girls from a distance. He was seeing her from a distance. Time stretched on, and all they could do was talk about the past.

And Katie.

Michaela could only dream about her baby. The reality was too painful. She only had the image of a soft, laughing toddler in her mind, the surprise in her bright blue eyes as she plopped to the ground when she was first learning to walk.

Michaela turned on her side, reaching out in the darkness for her most treasured possession. Sully had given it to her a year ago. He had intended to make her smile, but she had wept for hours after he had left, completely inconsolable.

It was a picture of Katie and Abby taken at Christmastime. Abby was sitting behind Katie and had her arms wrapped around her protectively. They were beautiful together; their contrasting features highlighting each other like night circling day. But they were so different. Abby wasn't a little girl anymore, and Katie was a far cry from the happy baby she had chased through the Cheyenne village. Michaela traced the outline of their faces through the glass. "My girls…" she whispered, before bringing the picture to her lips and kissing their faces. "I love you so much."

"They're not there, you know," his voice clear and strong, infiltrating her thoughts, her mind, her soul.

Michaela jumped up from the cot, pulling the picture against her chest as she stared into his bright blue eyes, no darkness to be found. "What are you doing here?"

"You wanted me here," he said softly, stepping forward into the only light in the cell, as it rained over the crisp corners of his gray suit. "So I came to bring you these."

He stepped closer, and suddenly in front of her were lilacs, dozens and dozens of lilacs. She stepped back, her legs hitting the edge of the cot. "I don't want them, David."

"Yes you do. You need them. You need to remember." David removed the picture from her hands and set it on the table. He came back to her and pressed the lilacs against her chest. "You don't have to be afraid of me. Take them, Michaela."

As her fingers went around the soft petals, she finally gripped them tightly in her hands. She shook her head, as nothing came, her memory still blank but for the cold feel of the pistol and the look of shock in David's face just before he hit the ground. Everything else was black. "I can't… I can't do it."

His hands slid up the side of her arms, and she shivered at his touch as she felt time rushing backwards. His face was instantly beside her ear, and the flowers crushed between them, disappearing to the ground. "Let me help you… I can help you."

She pushed away from him, crawling back into the corner of the cot. "I can't trust you. I want you to leave now."

David stretched across the cot and caught her frightened eyes. Without warning, he leaned over and kissed her forehead, holding her to him for a few brief moments as her body began to shake. He pulled away and took her hand. "Whatever it is, write it down. It always helps me."

Michaela's head dropped as she tried to block out his words, as she tried to block him out of her mind. "Please, please leave me alone."

His words faded as his backed away from her, softening into the distance. "I'll be here when you're ready. I'll be here."

Michaela curled within herself, waiting to hear the bars slam shut, waiting to hear his footsteps down the hallway. But no sound came.

She lifted her head slowly and peered around the dark cell. She was alone. Her heart raced as she looked over the side of the cot but saw no trace of lilacs. "Oh God," she whispered, reaching for the picture of the girls again. She retreated back within herself, fearing sleep, fearing dreams, fearing her memories, so she latched onto the only solid image in her mind. "Sully…Sully… Sully…"

_**1863**_

Sully recognized the dog soldier immediately. One Eye was young and irrational, and more than anything, his spirit was darkened by desperation and hunger. "We mean no harm," Sully said, standing on guard, gripping his tomahawk, his attention split between the warrior and Robert E, who was on the ground and in pain. "We just want to get home."

"_For food, I will let you pass_." One Eye gripped his bow and arrow, pointing it directly at Sully's head. Sully heard Robert E moan, and he knew he couldn't risk it. He slowly put down the tomahawk.

"Alright. Ya can have whatever we got." One Eye slowly lowered the weapon, and cautiously, Sully kneeled down to pick up Robert E. When they stood back up, One Eye had a sharp blade pulled out.

He nodded once. "_Go_!" He ordered.

The women jumped to attention when Sully and Robert E appeared through the trees with One Eye. Abagail quickly nestled into Michaela's arms, and Olive reached for Grace's hand.

Sully's eyes immediately flashed to Michaela's, silently telling her that he was alright, and then he sought Grace. "Get all the food together, Grace. We're givin' it to One Eye."

Grace nodded without hesitation as she saw Robert E grip his bloody arm. She rummaged through her sacks of supplies bringing out everything she had. As she did this, Michaela slowly stepped forward, unable to stay away from Robert E. She had to help him. When One Eye saw her move, he quickly grabbed her, wrapped his arm around her waist and held the knife to her neck.

"Let her go!" Sully stepped forward, the warning clear in his eyes.

"I just want to help…I just want to help him," Michaela explained rapidly. One Eye slowly loosened his grip, letting her go to Robert E. She quickly began attending to his arm, taking the broken arrow out, and wrapping it with the crude supplies she had available.

Sully glared at One Eye. He hadn't taken his eyes off of Michaela. He knew that look of a man, and it sent chills running down his spin.

Grace hurried over, handing One Eye all of the supplies. He shook his head slowly, not taking the food from her. "_I've changed my mind_."

"What do you want?" Sully asked, fear etching the corners of his heart.

His eyes moved back towards Michaela, as she lifted her face after tying the bandage. "_I want her_."

_**1873**_

Katie examined every nook and cranny of the cabin, totally enthralled with the train as they left Soda Springs. Sully and Abby watched her amusedly. The only traveling Katie had done was on her horse, Flash, which had been a gift from her Cheyenne mother Snowbird. They called Katie Ho'otseoo'e, although Cloud Dancing teased her quite often that she hadn't quite yet risen to the name. It meant Lightening Woman.

Abagail leaned against Sully's shoulder tentatively. Sully looked at her for a moment, as she kept her eyes downcast. They had such a fragile relationship, and it pained him that it was so difficult for them to communicate at times. It seemed like every time he saw her, she had changed just a little bit more, and there was some new mystery to uncover about his little girl.

Finally, she looked up at him, her eyes large dark pools of regret. "I…I didn't mean all of the stuff I said to ya the other day…only some of it."

Sully nodded slowly, taking in her words. He put his arm around and sighed. "Well, I probably deserved some of it too. So I'll take that halfway apology you're tryin' to make right now."

Sully slowly grinned at her, his eyes twinkling, completely affecting her resolution to stay cool and reserved, and she couldn't help but grin back. "Thank you… Ya know… You're not half bad when ya around. What ya said bout love… and you and Mama… that was pretty good advice."

"No matter where I am, I love ya. Never forget that." Sully pulled her against him, and Abby wrapped her arms around his neck. Her words hadn't been perfect, but neither his choices.

Suddenly, Katie jumped off up off her seat, something catching her attention. Sully and Abby pulled away from each other, and looked at her face as she pointed to a high point in the glass window. "Evo'neto!" she exclaimed.

Sure enough, there was a light flashing at the top of the window, as if crystals or diamonds were reflecting against it. "What is it?" Abagail asked, as the light began to twinkle as Sully and she moved.

Katie giggled and jumped, trying to catch the light. "Ma'heono!"

Then Sully remembered. His hands quickly went to the gold chain that he wore around his neck. "Girls, come here. This is ya spirit, Kates."

Katie walked over to his side of the cabin and leaned against his knees. "Mo'eško?" She asked.

Abagail swallowed, knowing immediately why he had it. "It's Mama's engagement ring."

Katie scooted forward as she looked at the ring, and Sully quietly picked her up and put her on one knee. Katie took the ring out of Sully's hand, and examined the exquisite diamond. "Emo'onahe," she whispered, smiling into her father's eyes. Sully's eyes clouded over, as he tried to mask his emotion. It was something he had learned how to do brilliantly, covering up the pain of what he had lost, but as he looked into his daughter's eyes, he knew he couldn't hide from the truth. He couldn't hide from her.

"Hoestôtse?" Katie asked quietly.

"Katie!" Abagail admonished hotly, extremely aware of how vulnerable their father was at the moment.

"It's alright, Abby," Sully said softly. He took the ring from Katie's hand and slowly slid it on her outstretched ring finger.

The ring was a little too big for her finger, but Katie still smiled at the ring proudly as she stretched her hand for display. "Nemehotâtse evo'neto," she said, as she watched the diamonds glitter.

Sully smiled sadly and caressed the side of her face. "Yes, it was love light."

Abagail turned away from them, towards the window. She couldn't bear to see her father cry again.

_**1863**_

Before One Eye could move, Sully pulled Michaela up and pushed her behind him. "I will die before I let ya take her anywhere."

Michaela gripped Sully's shoulders as One Eye stepped closer to them. Sully backed up. He reached for his tomahawk, but it was gone. He looked quickly to Olive and Abagail, who stood in his sight lines. "Get out of here now! Olive… Get Abby home… Whatever ya have to do… get her home!"

Olive quickly ran to Abagail and picked her up. Abby, so shocked by what was going on in front of her, didn't realize she was being carried away until she was thrown up on a horse with Miss Olive. All of a sudden, her senses kicked in, and she panicked. "No! I ain't leavin' 'em! Let me go, lady!" she cried as she tried to get out of Miss Olive's hold.

"It's for the best, Abby," Robert E said as he and Grace mounted the other horse. "I'll be with ya. Don't ya worry."

Abagail turned around, looking back at her parents who were facing the sharp edge of a knife. "Mama! Papa! Don't let 'em take me! I wanna—I wanna stay wif ya!"

"Go Abagail!" Michaela screamed. "You'll be safe with them!"

"No Mama!" Abagail cried, big shaking sobs wracking her chest. "Mama! Mama! _Papa_!"

Sully heard Abby's protests, and his eyes stung as he heard Michaela crying behind him. One Eye grinned smugly at him. "You are a weak, unmasked man."

Sully swallowed his emotion, not saying what he wanted to Abagail. She just had to be safe. Michaela stepped closer to him, as if she were trying to protect him, but he couldn't have that either. "Ya have to go Michaela," he said, disengaging from her, anything to keep her safe.

"I'm not leaving you, Sully," Michaela held on to him closer as One Eye stalked closer to them.

"Run, Michaela! Ya gotta run. I'll find ya. I swear to God, I'll find ya!" And with all the strength he had inside of him, he pushed her away. He had to protect her. Without him close to her, Michaela stood there for a split second, more tears falling down her eyes. "Go Michaela!"

As One Eye sliced his blade through the air, Michaela turned, Sully's words stinging every fiber of her being. And she ran. She ran into the trees, hearing their cries and grunts as they began to fight each other, and she didn't know if he would live or die. She didn't know. But she ran. She was angry that he wouldn't let her protect him. She was angry that they could find no peace.

But as she went further and further into the darkness, the nauseas returned. The trees around her swirled and laughed, mocking her as the icy wind whistled through the leaves. She stopped as the joke continued, but finally the laughter petered out, and she found reprieve in the stillness of snow.

He was far from his home, but the spirits told him to come here. He road through the white land, as his heart lead him onward to the far side of Colorado. And then he saw her, covered in a fine sheen of snow. He jumped off of his horse, and cradled her in his arms. There was still life within her. Cloud Dancing smiled and gently wiped the ice from her face. He whispered gratefully, "He'ôhma'heo'o, you have come home."

She moaned in his arms and slowly opened her eyes. He looked into them, and he saw the change. The light returned to them for a moment as she recognized him, but suddenly she remembered. "Sully… Where's…?"

But her words stopped as her stomach lurched uncontrollably, and without warning, she vomited, staining the pure white snow. Cloud Dancing rubbed her back as she let out the contents of her stomach, and carefully brought her back to his arms when she had finished. She cried quietly, and he held her, rocking her as he would his own daughter. "What's wrong with me?" She asked helplessly, to anyone, to no one at all.

Cloud Dancing slowly picked up her hand and took it in his. Carefully, he placed it over her stomach and covered her hand with his. Her eyes flashed to his. He squeezed her hand as she realized the meaning of his gesture. "You were just too close to see."

Suddenly there was movement in the trees, and Cloud Dancing and Michaela turned around. One Eye stood there, his chest heaving as he gasped for air. He stumbled forward a couple of steps, reaching out for Michaela. "_I—I_…" He smiled menacingly, despite obvious pain. "_I killed him_…"

"No!" Michaela screamed, keeling over, her hands circling her stomach protectively as she cried out in total disbelief and anguish. She lunged forward, attempting to hit One Eye, but Cloud Dancing pulled her back.

He suddenly fell to the ground, his one eye open as he took his last breath.

_**1873—Boston Penitentiary for Women**_

"Hey Doc!" The lady guard Inad clanked her keys loudly against the bars, waking Michaela from her slumber. "You got some visitors!"

Michaela slowly picked herself up off the bed and went to the door of the cell. She looked at the guard with questioning eyes. Usually they just brought her visitors to the cell, and recently, it had only been Sully and her lawyer.

"It's not that kind of visit, Doc. They're letting you go outside for this one." Inad stopped her, before she walked out of the cell. Her eyes turned kind, and she looked around, making sure none of the other inmates saw her. "You may want to run some water over your face. Here, I brought you some ribbon. Get your hair back."

Michaela walked to the tiny sink and ran brownish colored water over her face. Inad walked up beside her and handed her a rag to dry it with. Michaela did not question the woman who was normally hard and strict on all of the inmates no matter what. Michaela pulled her fly away hair out of her face, leaving it half-up, half-down.

Michaela turned to Inad. She asked nervously, "Is this ok?"

"They'll think you're beautiful, doc." Inad smiled back.

"They?" Inad avoided Michaela's question and pushed her towards the door, resuming her militaristic stance. They walked down the corridors of the jail silently, Inad holding one of Michaela's arms. When they got to the outside door, Inad unlocked her hand-cuffs and looked into Michaela's eyes.

"You have thirty minutes." Inad pushed open the outside door, and Michaela stepped into the sunlight. She shielded her eyes from the brightness of the day, as her eyes adjusted to the light.

And then she saw her dreams standing before her. But they were real, beautiful, the most beautiful people she had ever seen in her life. She couldn't move. She could hardly speak as her eyes went from one love to the other. It was too much. Nobody should be that lucky. Her heart swelled, and she stammered backwards, unable to handle the moment.

But Katie ran forward, like a lightening flash, not letting her mother fall. Katie's hands ran up to Michaela's face, and she slowly began to speak, her words strained and foreign, but from the depth her heart. "Y-you…know…me…You know me! My…h-heart knows y-you too, M-mama."

"I would know you anywhere, Katie," Michaela cried, her composure breaking as she lifted the little girl in her arms, holding her tightly, vowing to never let her go again. She looked over her shoulder to Sully and Abagail, and reached for them. "I would know you anywhere."

**_Nemehotâtse evo'netolove light, Hoestôtse?Can I wear it, Emo'onaheBeautiful, Mo'eškoA ring? Ma'heono!Spirits, Evo'netoThere is a light! _****_He'ôhma'heo'o_****_Medicine Woman_**

Chapter 32

_**1873**_

Inad peeked through the small, murky window to the outside grounds. The window framed the family, creating a beautiful picture that defied everything Inad knew of the Doc's case. She couldn't shake the feeling. Something wasn't right. There was no way that woman could be a murderer.

She opened her pocket watch and shook her head sadly. They only had twenty-five minutes left.

Somehow they had managed to migrate to the wooden picnic tables where they all sat as closely as they possibly could together. Sully couldn't stop looking at his girls. All three were so emotional that they hadn't been able to speak after their first few moments together. Katie simply curled into Michaela's lap, keeping her arms wrapped firmly around her mother's neck. Abby leaned on Michaela's shoulder, keeping one protective arm around her mother and the other around her little sister. Abagail saw ghosts in Michaela's eyes, and a fierce resolve began to mount in the pit of her stomach.

She wiped her eyes suddenly and pushed away from the table, standing up tall in front of her somber family. "So what are we doin', huh? We gotta plan?"

Sully looked into the fiery eyes of his daughter. She was angrier than before, but this time, it was different. She was ready to do something about it. "Abby, we got the appeal. We got to do this the legal way."

"Well, it sure hasn't been done the legal way to us," Abby nearly spat back.

Sully stood up and stepped on the shaky plain with his daughter. "Abby, I know ya upset, but ya can't—"

"I can't believe you're not _more_ upset! Look at her! She's starvin'! My mother is the most beautiful woman in the world and this place is tryin' to destroy that!" Abby cut him off, her mind swirling, unable to focus clearly or understand her father's reasoning at all.

"Don't tell me how I feel, Abby! What do you think I've been tryin' to do for the past eight years?" Sully's voice cracked with razor sharp pain, nearly making Abby jump backwards.

"N-no! Hova'âhane emeoto! No f-fighting!" Katie cried loudly, sensitive to their angry tones and her mother's retreating presence. Katie pulled even closer to Michaela, and she began rocking the little girl, calming her with soothing tones she had used when Katie was a baby. "Enough fighting."

Michaela met Abagail's eyes, and she saw her anger and fear radiating in her dark pools. It was one of Abby's most pronounced qualities—her streak of headstrong independency. She was somewhere between a woman and a child, and Michaela didn't know what good her words would do now. She held out her hand for her. "Come here, Miss Sully."

Abagail winced as she heard her childhood nickname. "Don't call me that."

Michaela dropped her hand, pain clear on her face as she realized that something else was lost. "Abby…please come here."

Abby slowly shuffled closer to her mother, and as soon as she was in arm's length, Michaela pulled Abby to her. Abby's eyes shifted, and she looked anywhere but in her mother's eyes. Sully moved closer to them and placed his hands over Michaela's where she held Abby.

Michaela closed her eyes and inhaled, finding her strength. When she opened them, she looked straight into Abagail's eyes without reserve. "I'm here. I'm not broken yet. We are going to get through this."

Abby's eyes clouded as she saw her mother's spirit returning, fighting to break free. "I have to do somethin'."

Michaela found a stray curl and pushed it back out of her eyes. "You haven't changed."

Abagail leaned forward, her forehead touching Michaela's. "Please, mama. Let me do somethin'. Please…"

_**1863**_

The snow began to fall to the ground, as if it were descending from the trees, not the dark sky. Michaela turned back to Cloud Dancing, fear and desperation pouring out of her body as she gripped his arms.

"We have to find him… Promise me we'll find him!" Her whole body shook as the night and the cold overtook them. Cloud Dancing didn't know what to do. He had to get her back to safety. Her body could not handle much more physical exertion.

"Listen to me, Dr. Mike. Sully is strong. He knows how to survive in these conditions. You have to trust in him. You have to take care of this baby now."

The snow was blinding, and she held on to Cloud Dancing as her only guide, her only stability. "He doesn't even know…"

He touched her young face, and felt her innocence, her love, and her fear. "He will. You have to trust him. You have to believe. He will come back to you."

Michaela turned around, looking at the covered form in the snow, glazed in blood and ice. "What if One Eye…?"

Cloud Dancing turned her back around, shaking his head, his eyes open and wide to her. "Believe, Michaela. Trust in your love, not that lost soul."

He let her go and went to retrieve his horse. When he returned, he held out his hand again. It was her choice. She took it. She put her hand over his, making a pact. "Please, please come back for him."

He covered his hand with hers and pressed their hands to her stomach. "I will do this for you. But let us take care of this one first."

With the pact made, they road away together.

"I don't wanna stay wif Gwanpa!" Abagail cried as they road into the Colorado Springs early the next morning. She had managed to jump off of the horse three times on the journey home. It was a miracle she hadn't broken her neck.

Robert E had done his best to contain her, even as much as switching horses with Miss Olive, but the little girl was absolutely livid. She did not like people to make decisions for her, and being separated from her parents was one of them.

Both Loren and Charlotte came out of their respective porches, as did several other members of the town when they heard the vehement protests of the little girl. They both ran to her from opposite sides of the streets, with the same thoughts running through their minds. Where was Dr. Mike?

Loren immediately took Abagail off the horse, peering into her tear stained eyes. "Are ya alright, girl?"

"Gwanpa, we gotta go back! We gotta save Mama and Papa!" Loren frowned as Abagail mentioned her father so familiarly.

"My Goodness," Charlotte put a soothing hand on Abby's back. "Ya pa was with ya?"

Robert E spoke up, "We left Sully and Dr. Mike without a horse back near the Kansas border, I suppose close to Cheyenne Wells, m'am."

"A bad ingine wanted to hurt mama, Gwanpa." Loren looked into Abagail's eyes, seeing the same terrified look that his daughter had when her mother was killed by the dog soldiers. He kissed her forehead and looked back to Robert E. Loren would die before he let his granddaughter lose another mother.

"Alright! I'm formin' a search party!" He put Abagail down on her feet. "Who's comin' with me?"

Robert E shook his head rapidly, as he tried to quiet Loren's grand gesture. "'Cuse me, sir, but it just might be best if it be just you and me that goes after 'em. There's a lot more ya don't know about the situation."

Loren looked at Robert E's nervous expression and balked. "Well don't just sit there, man! Tell us what's happened!"

Robert E dismounted his horse and spoke as quietly as possible. "Dr. Mike was involved in a horrible murder. We don't know exactly what happened. Two people are dead… and a third party is a possible suspect, Dr. David Lewis. I believe ya know him?"

"Know him? That's Dr. Mike's fiancé, for heaven's sakes!" Loren exclaimed, completely flabbergasted.

"Ya wouldn't know it from the way she and Sully were carryin' on with each other," Olive muttered under her breath.

Charlotte quickly picked up Abagail and covered her ears. "Do we have to do this in front of the child?"

Abby pushed Charlotte's hands off and scowled at Miss Olive. "Don't ya talk bout my mama and papa like dat! Dey wuv each odder! He gave her a wing and evevthing!"

Everyone grew quiet, and the color drained out of Loren's face. He had been right about Dr. Mike and Sully, from the very first day he had seen them together. Maybe they hadn't acted on it until now, but he had been right. He looked down at the ground, unable to look at Abagail.

His voice was barely audible when he finally spoke. "Abby, I think you should stay with Miss Charlotte tonight."

He turned and walked back into his store. Abagail ran after him. "But what about my mama and papa?"

Loren stopped. "I can't, Abby. I just can't. Robert E will have to go alone." And with that, he went into his store. Abagail turned around and Robert E jumped off his horse and went to her.

"Don't ya worry, Miss Ab'gail. I'll find 'em, and I'll make sure they safe." Abagail hugged Robert E's neck, and it wasn't two seconds later that a brassy Southern voice piped up.

"And I'm comin' with ya!" Grace exclaimed.

They rode through the village and Cloud Dancing held her close as curious stares followed them all the way to his teepee. His arm covered her mid-section protectively. The spirits had spoken to him. It was his job to protect her and this baby. He would do this for his brother. He looked to her finger and saw the stone symbol of the white man. They had fallen fast, but they had been waiting years.

As he approached his teepee, Snowbird was waiting for him. She held her arms out to receive Michaela. Michaela's full weight landed on Snowbird, and Cloud Dancing jumped off his horse to carry her inside.

"Hesta naa me'êševôtse hotama'e," Cloud Dancing explained rapidly to Snowbird before laying Michaela down amongst soft animal skins.

He smoothed her brow, and her eyes opened half-way. "Find him," she pleaded.

"Find your strength, and I will find him." And Cloud Dancing was gone again.

Snowbird covered Michaela with colorful red and yellow blankets, warming her. She smiled softly into the young woman's eyes as she brought her some brewed tea. "Now," she whispered, "Dream, He'ôhma'heo'o, dream about your baby…"

"Sully…" Michaela whimpered softly, as her hand slid to her flat stomach. It was difficult to dream without Sully. It was hard to imagine that they had created a life in only a single night.

"Shh…" Snowbird soothed her. "Dream, and he will be here when you wake up."

**_September 1868_**

Katie effortlessly laced the straw in and out, in and out, as her basket began to take an odd shape. Snowbird smiled at the little girl's work and bumped her shoulder affectionately. "You are a fast worker, Lightening Woman."

But Katie's mind was elsewhere. Her eyes were transfixed, fascinated by something, someone. Snowbird followed her gazed, finally landing on the object of Katie's absorption. It was a boy, around Katie's age. He was carving a flute.

Snowbird smiled knowingly and learned closer to Katie, putting her arm around her. "His name is No Harm Comes to Him. When he was a baby, his mother threw her body over his to protect him from the soldiers."

Katie's face suddenly displayed a mirror of emotions, and she leaned closer to Snowbird. "_At the Sandy Creek_?"

Snowbird nodded, feeling the little girl's body tense immediately as she mentioned the massacre. Katie swallowed and put down her unfinished basket. She slowly got up from their buckskin rug and made her way across the camp to the boy.

When her shadow fell upon him, No Harm looked into her sapphire eyes, taken back by the solemn, quiet stance of the white girl. He usually heard people coming, especially those not Cheyenne.

Katie didn't speak. She wanted to tell him about her mother. Ask him about his. But she didn't. She was too shy. Instead she asked, "_What are you making_?"

No Harm smiled as he looked at the white girl. The other children talked about her. They said she was a yellow-haired princess who was cast away by her own people. He did not understand this. "_A gift_."

"_For who_?"

"_For you_." He set down his carving knife and placed his fingers over the cords. "_Listen_."

Suddenly, the most beautiful notes Katie had ever heard filled the air. The music was stirring, almost sad, and she slowly sank down at the bottom of his feet.

Cloud Dancing, carrying his hunting gear, stepped out from behind the teepees and joined Snowbird. His eyes narrowed speculatively as he followed his wife's gaze to Katie and No Harm.

"That is trouble," Cloud Dancing stated matter-of-factly.

Snowbird laughed good-naturedly. "They are children!"

"He is wooing her, Snowbird."

"They are five years old, Cloud Dancing!"

"What happens when Sully and Michaela want her back? If she's too attached…"

"She won't forget us, Cloud Dancing. This is the life she knows. We can't ask her to wait to live another."

Suddenly Katie came bounding back, flying straight into Cloud Dancing's side, nearly knocking him over. "Hello Little Lightening! You have made a new friend, I see?"

"_Lightening Woman! Can I go fishing with No Harm_?"

"Fishing?"

"_Yeah_."

"As long as you are back before dark."

"_Thank you, Cloud Dancing_!" Katie ran off and Cloud Dancing turned back to Snowbird's amused gaze.

"Wooing her?" Snowbird chuckled heartily before picking up the baskets, turning her back on her overprotective husband. Cloud Dancing shook his head as his wife disappeared into their teepee. Perhaps Snowbird was right. Perhaps he was being overprotective and thinking too far ahead.

He looked towards the trail that led to the stream. Katie and No Harm were climbing up the levy, Katie a few steps behind No Harm. Katie raced to keep up with him, but she stumbled, nearly falling down, but No Harm caught her. Their hands joined, and Cloud Dancing immediately opened the flap of the teepee. "Snowbird. I am going fishing with Katie and No Harm. We will be back before dark!"

Snowbird sat agape, and she could do nothing but laugh.

_**1863**_

"Brian!" Abagail whispered loudly in the dead of night, but he did not move a muscle. She quickly threw the sheets off of him, licked her finger and promptly stuck it in his ear. "BW-IAN!"

"Gross Abby!" He said, swatting his ear, pushing her away from the side of his bed. "Go back to bed, will ya? I sleepy!"

"Nope nope nope!" Abby grabbed his feet at the end of the bed and dragged him until he landed hard on the floor.

Brian groaned, suppressing his impulse to wrestle her down to the floor, "What do ya want, bwat?"

Abby squatted down beside him, putting the sweetest smile she had on her face. "I need ya to help me find my mama and papa."

"Are ya nuts?" Brian made a putrid face at her.

"Peas?" Abby begged.

Brian frowned and contemplated for a moment. "Whaddaya give me?"

"I give ya a big kiss!" Abby closed her eyes and puckered her lips.

"Ew! Abby!" Brian pushed her backwards, and she toppled over.

Abagail giggled, and she bounced right up. "A whole jar of gumdwops!"

Brian pushed himself off of the floor like a box spring. "Now ya talkin'!"

"Ok… Get dwessed. I alweady packed supplies while Colleen was doin' da dishes." Abby rose to her feet and began scurrying towards Brian's closet, throwing a shirt and trousers at him.

He said at he caught them, stripping down right in front of her. "And we can take Matthew's horse."

"Should we live ya ma a note?" Abby dove under his bed and fished for his boots, finding them one at a time.

Brian paused and thought for a moment. "I can't write yet."

"Me either… We could dwaw her a pictah?" As Brian dressed, Abigail created an image of a forest, two stick figures, and a shaky heart. They left the drawing lying in the middle of Brian's bed as they crept out in the middle of the night, detected by no one.

_**5**_

His hand scribbled over the paper furiously, and he smiled, as he thought of her. She had been right.

_**4**_

She placed his hand over the swell, and their eyes met. "Can you feel that?" she whispered. "Can you feel that?"

_**3**_

The reins dropped from his hands when he saw her eyes. He knew it was her.

_**2**_

She took his hand, calloused with aged, but gentle and tender, as he led her down the strange path. They were going to see the ocean today, he said.

_**1**_

The door flew open and they all turned around. Inad knew she was unwelcome, but it was time.

Chapter 33

_**1873**_

As Inad approached them, Michaela's eyes flashed between her girls. They hadn't had enough time. Abagail steeled herself, and wrapped her arms tightly around her mother's neck before whispering quickly, "I'm goin' to get ya out of here. I don't care what you say."

Abby ran back inside before Michaela could protest. But her fears for Abby were soon replaced by large blue eyes. Katie tightened her hold around Michaela and said softly, "I stay here w-with you."

Michaela looked to Sully for help. Sully placed his hand on Katie's back and rubbed it gently. "Ya need to come with me, Kates. We'll see Mama soon, I promise."

"Hova'âhane!" Katie protested, as tears began to bubble. Michaela gently stood up and placed Katie on her feet. She had to do this herself. They had to be strong by themselves. Michaela stood on her knees, and she and Katie saw eye to eye.

"Katie, you have to be my strong girl now. You have been doing such a good job… and you just have to go on doing it a little while longer."

"I-I don't like waiting. People forget. Y-you won't forget me?" Michaela pressed her lips against Katie's forehead, holding back her tears. She had to be strong.

"I could never forget you. I love you far too much." Michaela hugged her once more, and stood up, turning away, shielding her eyes from Katie's vision. "Now go, go run after Abby."

Inad stepped up and took Katie by the shoulders, guiding her out of the gray courtyard. "Nemehotâtse, Mama! Do you hear me? Nemehotâtse!"

Michaela covered eyes as her cries faded behind closed doors. Sully's arms were immediately behind her concaved figured, and he pulled her against him, not saying a single word. She leaned into his neck and whispered, "I don't think I can say goodbye to you again… We didn't have any time—"

"Shh… Today was all about the girls. We'll get—"

"Mr. Sully?" Inad's voice cut through their conversation like a knife. "You too. I've already given you five extra minutes. That's more than generous."

Michaela turned around in Sully's arms, and they joined hands as Sully began to speak rapidly, "I'll be back in two days with Montgomery. He wants to depose ya again, and with Rose willin' to testify in the trial, he thinks we have a fair shot this time."

"I suppose…" She nodded, lowering her eyes.

Sully lifted her chin. "Hey, don't go givin' up on me."

"I'm just not sure what good her words will do." She paused nervously. "We need David."

Inad raised her dark, bushy eyebrows as she heard the Doc mention the other man's name. She couldn't help but notice how Mr. Sully's jaw tightened at the very mention of Dr. Lewis. Boy, this case was nothing if not intriguing.

"Alright, you two," Inad stepped up, taking Michaela by the arm. "I've got to enforce the time limit."

"Wait," Sully stopped Inad from taking Michaela. He quickly took Michaela's face in his hands and kissed her fully on the lips. Inad's eyes bugged momentarily as she witnessed such an intimate moment between two people. She tried not to watch, but she couldn't help but peek through her lashes. She tried to fight it, but she couldn't help it. She truly felt sorry for them.

_**1863**_

"I don't know, Robert E," Grace fretted as they road back down the path together. "I'm sure this is where we left 'em."

"I should have never left 'em. Who knows what might have happened to 'em? Especially after everythin' Dr. Mike has done for me. I should have stayed to protect her."

"Robert E… Ya can't go blamin' yaself… No one but you could have gotten that child outa here. They'll be together soon, I know it."

Robert E shook his head guiltily as he they turned around a bend. "Grace, there's a lot ya just don't know…"

Grace scoffed and edged her horse up next to his, brushing his shoulder. "Well, tell me then, and I'll help ya fix it."

Robert E stared into her eyes. For some reason, he trusted her. But as they passed the turn, they came face to face with two Union officers. Robert E and Grace pulled back hard on their reins, shocked. "Excuse me, 'm'am, sir. We didn't mean to startle you, but we're under special commission by the Chief and Commander of the United States Army to find this woman who willingly shot and killed two individuals and left one man in critical condition. Have you seen her?"

Grace didn't move a muscle when they held the picture up. She stared at it for a few seconds and shook her head. "I'm sorry, gentleman, but we just got our freedom. We haven't been payin' attention to much of anythin' else but each other."

Grace reached blindly for Robert E's hand, and without hesitation, he took her cue and picked it up, holding it firmly between both of his hands.

"She's said to be traveling with her child, a mountain man, and a freed slave," The second officer looked suspiciously at Robert E. "You wouldn't know anything about that, wouldn't you, son?"

"No sir. Like Grace said, I've been enjoyin' my wife," Robert E allowed a slow smile to cross the corners of his mouth until the officer understood the true meaning of his words. "Haven't had much time for anythin' else."

"Alright. If you two happen to see her, it's in your best interest to bring her in." As the soldiers rode off, Grace looked at Robert E and finally released the air she was holding along with the iron grip she had on his hand.

"There sure is a lot I don't know! And ya best start talkin' Robert E, cause we got to find Dr. Mike. There's no way she can go back to Colorado Springs."

Three days had passed, and there was still no sign of Sully or Cloud Dancing. Michaela and Snowbird walked arm in arm around the camp, both silent with their own nightmares. They had become fast friends, and Michaela found a certain sense of peace from Snowbird's quiet stoicism.

The morning sickness was under control now that her movement had localized, and the reality of it hit her. She was going to have a baby. Her body was going to change and grow, and she would give birth to a child. Sully's child. Her child.

Her mind immediately went to Abagail and her birth. What if her body wasn't strong enough like Abagail's? What if she got sick or… She stopped in her tracks, and Snowbird immediately placed her hand over Michaela's. "Something troubles you, Dr. Mike?"

Michaela exhaled slowly and placed her hand over her mid-section. "I just…"

"You will be alright. The spirits will watch over you," Snowbird said warmly, her hand soothing over Michaela's.

"But Sully and I… what kind of life can we give this baby? I don't know where he is. I don't even know if our daughter made it home safely. We have two children now… and we're… we're not…" Michaela stammered, blushing profusely as the words froze at the edge of her tongue.

Snowbird gently took her left hand, her thumb caressing the beautiful diamond ring. "I do not have such a gift from Cloud Dancing."

Michaela lowered her eyes modestly. "I don't know why I need it."

Snowbird looked towards their teepee, remembering. "My brothers carried me on a blanket to Cloud Dancing's father's teepee and left me there. When his family took me inside, we were married."

Michaela's throat went dry. "That was it?"

Snowbird looked down, a secret smile etching her face. "It's our tradition."

Michaela looked at the ring, remembering every moment of the night he gave it to her. "We only have what we feel in our hearts."

Snowbird smiled, seeing the memory play in Michaela's eyes. "What else is there?"

"A wedding. Tradition. A home. Family." She took a deep breath and held both of Snowbird's hands in hers. "I…I can't help but want all of that."

"Sometimes dreams come to us in unexpected ways." Snowbird's eyes suddenly moved towards the growing commotion towards the center of the village. Michaela followed her, and her mouth dropped when she saw Sully and Cloud Dancing riding side by side through a barricade of excited children. Michaela's eyes raked over his face and body. There was not a visible scratch on him. His eyes met hers, and they twinkled with the onset of survival and relief. Her mouth simply dropped. Now that she knew he was safe, a sudden burst of rage boiled inside of her, and she turned around as he dismounted from the horse and walked straight back to Cloud Dancing's teepee. She didn't look back until the flap slapped shut behind her.

Sully ran quickly to Snowbird and took her hands in his. "She's alright, ain't she?"

"You have come home to a hornet's nest, Sully," Snowbird warned him gently.

Sully frowned and looked towards the teepee. "But she looks better. What happened?"

"Ask her." Sully looked in Snowbird's eyes and knew for certain that there was something she wasn't saying. "She has your answers."

"Hey," Sully whispered, touching her back softly as he moved into the darkened teepee. "What's wrong? Aren't ya glad to see me?"

"I'm glad you're alive." Michaela said coldly before flinching away from his warm, comforting touch that seemed to melt through her clothes. She closed her eyes for a second, embracing his presence. No, she would not give in. "Just stop touching me!"

Sully watched her move to the other side of the space. Her body was rigid and stiff, and her arms circled her body protectively. "Michaela—"

She immediately cut him off, slight tones of hurt piercing through her anger. "You wouldn't let me stay with you, now I don't want you with me. Please show me the same respect and leave me alone!"

Sully moved closer to her when he heard the tremble in her voice. "Michaela, ya know why I did that, don't ya? I had to protect ya—"

She turned around and glared at him, not accepting his answer. "You could have been killed just as easily as me! Don't pretend it isn't so! You didn't even have a weapon!"

Sully ran his fingers through his hair, restraining a growl that seemed to be growing in the pit of his stomach. "There are just some things a man has got to do, Michaela. And protectin' his family is one of them!"

She groaned as he stared at her. He was so completely male. One moment it was the most sensual thing about him, and the next, the most exasperating. "And a woman has the same right to protect her family! You are my family!"

Sully reached for her, daring to put his arms around her shoulders. "And ya mine. Michaela… Something snapped in me when I saw him look at ya like that. I didn't want him anywhere near ya. I don't think I could stand it if another man ever touched ya like we've touched."

Michaela's breath caught in her throat as she heard his words, and she felt her bravado fall as he pulled her closer to him, his forehead connecting to hers, his lips hovering just above her lips. She closed her eyes and whispered, "I'll never speak to you again if you kiss me right now."

"I'll take my chances," Sully answered confidently, pulling her to him for the first time in weeks. Their lips collided as they found one another again after so many days of exhaustion and fear. So much had happened, and she gave in, holding him close, so close for a few brief moments, as they became themselves once more.

But it all came rushing back to her. She couldn't help it. She wanted more. She pushed back from him suddenly, catching the sob in her throat before it had a chance to escape. "Stop it, Sully!"

He grabbed her hand, not letting her get away. "Why are ya so angry? We're both alive—we're both safe and healthy. Is it Abby? We'll head to Colorado Springs the first thing in the morning, hey, even tonight if ya worried, and we'll get her. Then we'll go home and—"

"Home." Michaela shook her head, dry tears bitter around her eyes. "I can't go home, Sully. Not like this."

His eyes searched hers, helplessly unknowing. "Like what?"

She tried to take her hand away from him, but he kept a firm hold on her. "Sully…Please… I just want to be alone!"

Sully shook his head and dug in his heals, taking both of her hands and wrapping them around her back. "I'm not leavin' ya alone. Even if ya kick me out. I'll sit outside all night, and if I still haven't figured out what's wrong, I'll sit outside all day too. I'm not goin' anywhere, Michaela, not until we have this out!"

Her eyes widened in utter disbelief and shock. She couldn't believe he dared to pin her arms down like some kid of brute. Her anger held no bounds as she glared back in his stubborn eyes. Her entire body shook against his, and before she knew it she exclaimed, "I'm pregnant! I'm _pregnant_! There! Are you quite satisfied?"

They stared at each other a moment, shock on both of their faces. Michaela had no intention of telling him in such a strident manner. And Sully, he could hardly move. But when he did, he's knees buckled out from under him, sending them straight to the ground in an uninspired thud. Sully cushioned Michaela's fall, and he looked up at her with dazed eyes. "Ya pregnant?"

"Yes, yes, I'm pregnant." She bit her lip, trying to hide her smile and stay mad at him, but he looked as wide eyed and innocent as Abagail that very second.

"We're goin' to have a baby?" He asked again, a broad grin beginning to sweep across his face.

Michaela's willpower failed her as her smile mirrored his. "Yes. A baby. Two hands. Two feet. Hopefully some hair."

"Michaela!" Sully laughed and she couldn't help but join him. The moment was free as he leaned up, reaching for her mouth. He could still feel the tension in her body and pulled away suddenly, catching her eyes.

"Is that why ya so mad at me?" He gauged her expression, her joy clearly overriding her anger. "Ya don't look mad about it. Ya can't keep that smile off ya face."

"No. I'm not mad about it," Michaela whispered. She felt awkward now—she wanted this to be enough. She exhaled, trying to relax, trying to let it go.

"I—I…have to touch ya." Sully scooted behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, stretching his palms across her womb. "I can't believe our baby's inside of ya right this second. I wonder if she can hear us?"

Michaela looked over her shoulder and raised her eyebrow. "She?"

"Yeah. Girls, remember?" Sully found the soft skin behind her ear and let his lips linger on her flesh. Michaela's entire body tightened again. It didn't matter how hard she tried. She couldn't let her feelings go.

"Don't Sully!" She shot up, wringing her hands together. Sully was lost at this point. He couldn't follow her at all.

"What is it? If it's not the baby, then what—" His eyes suddenly flew to her fidgeting hands, and he caught the reflection of her sparkling ring. He paused, his breath catching slightly, understanding but not at the same time. He placed his hand over hers, stopping her movements. He whispered softly, "We said our vows, Michaela. I thought they meant something."

Michaela closed her eyes, tears finally finding their release as he saw into her heart. "They did… But in the church's eyes… in the town's eyes… we're not married."

He reached forward, taking her face in his hands. "Who cares what they think? God is the church, Michaela. He was with us that day on the train. I felt him. He was there. We were there. We are the only one's who matter here!"

Michaela closed her eyes and put her hands over his. "Sully…I can't explain how I feel. But you're asking me to forget everything I've been taught. We don't even have a marriage license—"

"We'll get that! That's just paper, Michaela!" Sully brought her face close to his, forcing her to open her eyes.

"It's not just paper!" She shook her head vehemently.

"So I guess our vows were just words then?" Sully leaned his forehead against his, his voice breaking. He didn't know why he was fighting her so hard on this, but he believed in their words, their vows. To him, anything after that would just be a mere formality.

She looked in his eyes and saw the hurt there. She didn't know what to say, but she knew she was right. "Sully—"

He cut her off, holding her as closely as he could. His body shook so violently that they both trembled as he spoke, "No Michaela. When I make a promise, it holds more weight than any legal piece of paper. To me, we are married. I thought ya felt the same way. I thought ya meant what ya said. When we made this baby… I wasn't just makin' love to you, I was makin' love to my wife."

She ran her hands through his hair and kissed his forehead, lovingly, soothingly. "I know that, Sully! I wouldn't take that night back for anything. I wouldn't take my words back at all. But we've got a child to protect now. Words aren't going to shelter her. Vows alone can't protect her from ridicule."

His breathing slowed, and he stopped. He looked at her guiltily. "I don't know what to say. I feel like I've taken something from ya, and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to give it back to ya. I do anything to protect you, Abby, and this baby. We'll get that marriage license as soon as we can. I promise."

"Thank you," she whispered softly as he disengaged from her. Their energy was depleted, and their faces both dropped, withdrawn. She looked up as he walked towards the door of the teepee, her voice barely there, "Why don't I feel better?"

Sully turned back and shrugged sadly. "It's just paper. My words meant more."

He ducked through the door, and she was left alone again.

_**Denver, Colorado**_

John sat down at his desk, looking at the various maps and papers from his last excursion. It had been most productive, but he was tired, bored. He ran his hand across his dark beard, contemplating his next move. It wasn't moving fast enough for him. He wanted to be in office by next spring. He needed to make himself known. To make himself respected, revered.

"Colonel Chivington?" An anxious, young lieutenant stood at the door.

"What is it, Billy?" John asked gruffly.

"You have a telegram. It's from the White House." John immediately looked up into the young boy's eyes and smiled.

"Well then. Hand it to me, lieutenant." John snatched the telegram from Billy's hands and waited until the young man had left before he tore the paper open.

"_To Colonel John M. Chivington. Stop. I have a new assignment for you. Stop. Please report to Washington, D.C. Monday morning 8 a.m. Stop. President Lincoln_." John dropped the paper on his desk and stood up. He walked to his decanter and poured himself a glass of whisky. "Yes sir. Whatever you say, Mr. President."

Cloud Dancing walked along the edge of the creek, only to find his brother doing the exact same thing. He watched Sully walk ahead of him in silence. He did not need to ask what was wrong. The thin walls of the teepee did little to cover up the very vocal fight between Sully and Michaela.

Sully finally stopped and kneeled beside the water. Cloud Dancing watched him and waited. "What do I do, Cloud Dancing?"

"There is no easy answer. You did not take the easy path when you fell in love."

"I want to give her everything. But the time… the time has never seemed right. So when I found her again, I didn't wait. I didn't hesitate. I asked her to marry me. I promised myself to her forever, but even in that, I'm lettin' her down."

Suddenly splashing water could be heard down the stream. Sully and Cloud Dancing backed up into the trees, waiting until the riders passed back the creek.

"I just hope they haven't made it back to Colorado Springs, Robert E."

"That's bein' optimistic, at this point, Grace." Upon hearing their voices, Sully stepped out of the trees and ran down to the edge of the water.

"Robert E, Grace!"

"Oh, thank the Lord!" Grace clapped her hands and nearly fell off the horse as she dropped the reins and splashed down into the water, landing on her feet.

"Is Dr. Mike alright?" Robert E asked as he swung off his horse as well.

"Yeah, yeah. She's fine," Sully said quietly. Now wasn't the time to disclose their life changing information.

"Well, we came back for ya, but we got news that doesn't look too good for Dr. Mike." Robert E stepped closer, putting his arm on Sully's shoulder, telling him of everything they had learned from the soldiers. Sully nodded slowly, digesting the information. No one spoke for a few moments, as the weight of what Robert E said hit Sully.

"Alright…" He took a deep breath. "Alright… I'm gonna need everyone's help to make this work. This is what we're goin' to do…"

Snowbird stepped into the teepee where Michaela was lying, curled up like a rag doll. Michaela pushed up from the blankets and looked helplessly into Snowbird's eyes. "What do I do, Snowbird? I feel like I've broken his heart."

Snowbird lifted Michaela up and ran her fingers through her hair, like a mother. "No matter what was said… You were fighting for each other."

Michaela shook her head, sighing heavily. "I don't know how to reconcile with my heart with what I know in my mind."

"Perhaps you don't have to. Perhaps it's time to embrace a new tradition." Michaela's brow furrowed, not understanding Snowbird's meaning. Snowbird smiled shyly, and walked across the teepee to a pile of neatly folded garments. A few minutes passed before she pulled out a beautifully adorned white suede dress. She held it against her body and grinned intimately. "It was my wedding dress. I wore it the day I married Cloud Dancing. I want it to be yours."

"Snowbird…I—" Michaela's eyes clouded and her heart suddenly filled with hope. "I don't know what to say. Thank you…but I don't understand…"

"He wanted to write you a letter, but we don't have any paper here. So I will tell you with words. If you can forgive him, Sully has spent the afternoon building your new home in our village. If you can forgive him, he wants you to marry him tonight, as I married Cloud Dancing. The spirits will bless you and we will be your witnesses."

Michaela nodded as two long tears fell from her eyes. She smiled sadly at Snowbird and kissed her forehead in thanks. When she pulled away, she did not ask, she simply said, "We can't go back to Colorado Springs, can we?"

Snowbird shook her head solemnly. Michaela took a deep breath and exhaled, letting everything go. Holding on would just break her heart. "I'm honored to wear your wedding dress."

Snowbird helped her dress as the night air set in. Michaela felt the energy of the village change around her as several women came to Snowbird's aid, offering jewelry and different scents she had never smelled before. Drumbeats echoed in the background, and Michaela could hear the soft chanting mounting slowly, as the anticipation built inside her heart. The sound of change danced all around her.

When she was dressed, Snowbird placed her on a tanned blanket, and she opened the tent widely. Michaela's eyes narrowed, as the firelight surprised her. Slowly, four young men picked her up on the four corners of the blanket. She recognized one of the men as Cloud Dancing's son, Walks on Clouds. The flames of the torches caught in the dark eyes of the villagers, and they smiled at her as she seemingly floated through the air, across the camp to her new home. It was like a dream, but she knew in her heart, without anyone telling her, that this was her reality now.

And then she saw him. He was standing in from of a large teepee, with Black Kettle on one side and Cloud Dancing on the other. His wedding shirt was beautiful, tan with black fringe and intricate bead work. The fire lit his eyes, and she saw the love in them, she saw how far he had gone for her, how far he would keep going. And then she knew. This was right. Paper or not. This night was right for them.

The men lowered her to the ground, and she sat still, waiting.

Black Kettle stepped forward and held out his hands for her. He lifted her up and looked into her eyes. "Va'ôhtama," he said warmly.

Cloud Dancing leaned forward and whispered, "He welcomes you into our family."

Michaela smiled demurely, completely overwhelmed, "Thank you."

Black Kettle took her hands and led her to Sully, placing their hands together. He looked between them, nodding once in good faith, and then up to the heavens. "Hetsetseha hova'âhane ehoo'koho, nemâheo'o."

Cloud Dancing whispered softly, "Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter to the other."

"Hetsetseha hova'âhane etoneto, eexovo." Sully looked into Michaela's eyes, and she stared back into his. She listened to words she didn't understand, but words that blessed her, blessed their love, blessed their child, and she understood how precious their vows had been. Her life couldn't be about the future; it had to be about this moment right now.

"Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other." Sully watched her eyes, seeing every emotion stirring in them. He pulled her closer, becoming her shelter and her warmth.

"Hetsetseha hova'âhane eanovetano, nesenes." The emptiness that had filled them before suddenly washed away.

"Now you will feel no more loneliness, for each of you will be a constant companion to the other." Michaela caressed Sully's hands and smiled softly. They were together, despite everything, and she felt no more loneliness or sadness.

"Hetsetseha enešeo'o, oha na'êstse." Sully knew they had difficult times ahead, but right now, in this moment, everything was as it should be.

"Now you are two bodies, but there is only one life ahead of you." Black Kettle stepped back and lifted the flap of the teepee for them to enter.

"Don't they gotta say their vows or somethin'?" Grace whispered to Robert E, who was totally taken back by the strange ceremony.

Michaela and Sully stopped, hesitation clear in Sully's eyes. But Michaela squeezed his hand and whispered, "We've already made our promises to each other."

As they walked into the darkness, Cloud Dancing finished the prayer with tears in his eyes, "Go now to your dwelling place, to enter your days of togetherness."

_**1873**_

Inad stood in the middle of the hallway as she watched the family separate. As Michaela suddenly vanished around the corner, she couldn't fight her impulse any longer. "Mr. Sully!" She called after him. "Wait just a moment…!"

Chapter 34

_**1893**_

**_New York City—Public Library_**

It was a late hour. What hour it was, she couldn't be certain, because the clock in the library had stopped two days ago, and she couldn't afford a new pocket watch. The tired librarian looked at the two remaining tables, one filled with several silly school girls, and the other, with a single young man, buried deep in heavy research books. It was obvious that the girls had given up their studies long ago and were now stealing glances at the handsome young man, for which the librarian couldn't blame them—if she were to be honest with herself. She shook her head and looked back down at the unfinished manuscript she was reading. She was being ridiculous. She had to be at least fifteen years older than him.

Suddenly she heard the girls laugh, and their whisperings turned into loud rumblings, until a red head with red cheeks was pushed out of the group. The librarian raised her eyebrows and watched as the awkward girl tried not to cry as she approached the young man. Her manuscript was forgotten. She knew she should quiet them, but she wanted to see how the quiet young man would respond to the poor thing.

"Excuse me," the young girl said nervously, her blush deepening by the second. He didn't respond. She looked backed to her friends and shrugged her shoulders, but they waved their hands at her, pressing her to continue her pursuit. The librarian bit her lip and put her elbows on the table, pity suddenly gathering in her heart for the young girl. "Um, excuse me?" she said again, this time louder, a quiver evident in her nervous tone. "Sir?"

Like out of a fog, the young man lifted his face and stared directly into the girl's eyes. "Yes?" he said patiently, despite obvious anxiety to get back to his work.

The librarian's hand went to the high neck collar of her dress, sliding her hand to the soft, hidden scar tissue underneath. His eyes. She couldn't stop looking at his eyes. He had the saddest, most exotic eyes she had ever seen.

"You're… you're beautiful," the girl said before she could stop herself. The librarian watched surprise etch across the young man's face, and his impatience suddenly vanished from the harsh lines of his forehead. But the girl's friends erupted into a fit of cruel laughter as they grabbed their books and scurried from the library, leaving the girl all alone.

The librarian covered her mouth, pressing down on her lips tightly. She should have known. Girls that were different were never treated with kindness, and she had been different. She should have known.

But the young man stood up slowly in front of the trembling red head and took her hand in his. He lifted her chin and met her sad eyes. He smiled. "I think you're beautiful too."

And suddenly, the girl's face lit like light, and the librarian couldn't help but think he was right—she was beautiful.

_**1873**_

It was a late hour, midnight to be exact, and the bells in the steeples chimed to signal a new day's arrival. Sully stood in the darkness, where Inad told him to wait. He wasn't sure what she wanted or even if she could help them, but he was willing to try anything at this point.

And then a cloaked figure passed him, meeting his eyes like a flash. "This way," she said. Sully followed her pass the large walls and gates of the prison to a smaller entrance where only one guard stood watch.

The guard looked up and smiled lecherously at Inad. "Hey Innie, I thought you were done for the night? You come back to see ole Andy, did ya?"

"Perhaps. It depends on what you do for me."

A smile lit Andy's face. "Really? I'm always willing to dicker."

"I need to get this fellow inside for a while, Andy. Now how are we gonna make that happen?"

Andy's chuckled. "You really want me to lose my job, don't you, Innie?"

Inad stepped forward and put her arms low around Andy's waist. "I'm not the sloppy type. You know that. Come on, Andy. I'll make it worth your wile."

Andy narrowed his eyes at her. "No more than an hour. If he's in there longer than that, it's your head that's one the chopping block, not mine, sweetheart."

"Awe Andy, what's life without a little risk?" Inad turned back to Sully and cocked her head. "Come on Mr. Sully. I got our in."

Sully stepped through the door and followed Inad, who moved quickly and easily through the passages. "Now listen carefully, Mister Sully. I put Michaela in solitary confinement just after you and your daughters left to make this work. I did not tell her you were coming because I wasn't sure if I could get you in, and I didn't want to get her hopes up. But you should be aware that she will probably be frightened when you see her. She… she's been having dreams."

"Dreams?" Sully nearly stopped walking. Michaela had never mentioned having bad dreams before.

"She won't tell me about them. But I hear them. You can't help but hear them. They keep her from sleeping. She woke up the other day, and it was like she was still in the dream, talking to someone. I don't understand it. I thought you could help her." Inad stopped in front of a large gray door and pulled out a circle of keys. Before she unlocked the door, she turned back to Sully and caught his eyes. "If someone happens to find you in here, I won't be able to help you."

"I understand." Inad pushed the door open, but only darkness was revealed as he entered the room.

_**1863**_

It was a late hour, but time was forgotten as they slipped into the darkness together. Sully let go of Michaela's hands for a moment, and she watched his shadow move across the walls of the teepee, their home, as he created a fire for them.

"I want ya to be warm," he whispered, as a spark began to glow at the bottom of the kindling. Michaela watched his back work and stretch in the beautiful wedding shirt, but her eyes soon moved in the darkness around the teepee, scanning all of the careful detail he put into their home. On one side of the fire, several hand woven rugs and blankets were piled together, creating an abstract bed for them. On the other side of the fire, a smaller pallet was made, and the blankets pure white. Michaela's breath caught as she saw the Dreamcatcher hanging just above the small bed, the feather, sinews, and bentwood glistening from the first light of the fire. He was already taking care of their baby, like he had always taken care of her. The only person missing was Abagail, but hopefully they would find a way to be together soon.

Her doubts were gone. She took a deep breath and pulled the shoulder tie of her wedding dress. It loosened easily and fell off her shoulders.

His breathing held when he heard her dress fall to the grown. But it found hers again when he turned around and saw her revealed to him, open to him, waiting for him.

She took one step towards him and whispered, "I am warm."

"I cold, Brian," Abagail shivered as they sat in the darkness together, in the hollow of a giant fallen oak.

"Me too," Brian held his arms around himself and shivered. Everything was wet with snow. They needed Mr. Sully bad.

"I want my mama," Abagail's bottom lip trembled, and within seconds, she was crying.

"Me too," Brian admitted quietly. He slowly put his little arm around Abby and hugged her. He felt the sniffles coming, but he covered it quickly. He was not going to cry in front of a girl. Even though he was a full year older than Abby, she was about ten times bossier than he was. It made him so mad sometimes, but seeing her like this, he didn't know what to do. She was supposed to be the one with all the crazy ideas.

Then, suddenly, he had one of his own.

"Abby!" He lifted her off his shoulder. "I gots an idea!"

_**1873**_

The door shut behind Sully before he could gather his bearings. The only sound was her shallow breathing. And the only smell was fear. Unadulterated fear.

"Who's…who's there?" She whispered, her voice full of cracks, like glass breaking.

Sully stepped towards her voice and held his hand out. "It's just me. It's Sully, Michaela."

Her breathing held for a moment. When she spoke, he couldn't read her voice. "Sully?"

"Yes, it's Sully. Just come to my voice," he said hopefully, taking tentative steps into the pitch black room.

Her voice quieted, like she was talking to herself. "No…no… Sully can't be here… He can't be here. You're lying to me again."

Sully stopped. Something wasn't right. Was she dreaming now like Inad said? She seemed like she was awake. He spoke softly, trying to reassure her, "No, Michaela. It's me. It's Sully. I wouldn't lie to you. I would never lie to you."

She quickly backed away from his voice, moving as far away from it as she could. Voices, voices, voices, why wouldn't they stop? Why wouldn't they go away? "No! He's not here. It's always you. It's always you. You won't leave me alone. You never go away!"

Sully's heart pounded. He never thought she would be scared of him. He never thought there would be a day when she wouldn't know him. What was going on? What was this? What was happening to them? He moved closer to her, his instincts kicking in. Maybe, maybe if they touched, maybe they could overcome the darkness, maybe they could overcome the voices, maybe they could overcome the dreams. "Michaela. Look, just, just… let me touch you. Just let me touch you… You'll know it's me. You'll know I'm not lying."

Michaela backed into the corner as she felt him coming closer to her. This couldn't be happening. She wanted the darkness to end. She felt his hands touch her arms, and she screamed as his face filled her mind. "Don't touch me! Please, please, please! Don't touch me! DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Sully pulled her against him as she cried out, trying to find some light, any light in the room so she could see, but there wasn't any. "Michaela! It's Sully! It's me! It's Sully!"

Her head leaned back against the wall, and she collapsed in his arms. "Get away from me David!"

_**1893**_

It was a late hour, and even though she didn't have a pocket watch, the librarian knew it was time to call it a night. She stepped out from behind the counter and walked over to the young man still engrossed in his books, long after the young girl left with stars in her eyes.

"Excuse me, sir?" The librarian said shyly, barely above a whisper.

"Yes m'am?" He asked, the earlier agitation she had witnessed back in his voice.

"The library's closed now."

He frowned slightly, and flipped open a beautiful gold pocket watch. "You close the library at 1:36 in the morning every night?"

"Oh…" She blushed slightly. "My pocket watch is broken."

"Then you must take mine." He held out the watch for her, and she simply stared at him.

"I could never take a gift like that from a perfect stranger." She stared at him, aghast.

"Then sit down and let's not be strangers anymore." He pushed the chair across from him out with his foot. "My name is Stephen Sully."

The librarian hesitated a moment. What was she doing? He was so young and… and… She sat down quickly and crossed her hands over each other and looked him at his forehead. His eyes were dangerous. One was blue and the other was green, but then they both had a bit of brown in them. He was holding out his hand for her like a complete gentleman. This was ridiculous. "My name is Lina March."

"Now we're not strangers." He smiled, revealing two large dimples at the corner of his mouth. "Are ya gonna let me stay?"

"It depends. What's so important that it can't wait until tomorrow?" She crossed her arms.

"My mother." Stephen said quietly. "I would do anything for her. Ya know?"

Lina looked down, and shook her head bluntly. "No. I don't have a mother."

Stephen reached out and touched her hand. Lina's breath caught for a moment as he touched her sensitive, fair skin. It was almost too much. She couldn't take it, so she pulled back, bringing her hand back to her collar, a nervous habit she had had since she was a little girl. Stephen watched her, taking it in. "I'm…I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I'm fine." She stood up from the table and looked back at him. "You can stay."

"Thank you," he said, somewhat surprised she had given in.

"How can I help you?" She asked, taking a deep breath, wiping away the sensation of being touched.

Stephen's eyes grew serious and fixed. "I need everything on memory loss you can find."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 35

_**1873**_

The night wind sailed through the balcony window, blowing wisps of blonde hair across her face, waking Katie from her restless slumber. She opened her eyes slowly, her right hand stretching across to the other side of the bed, searching for her sister. The space was empty.

A shadow suddenly cut across the room, and Katie sat up straight in the bed. "W-who's there?"

"It's just me, you silly goose!" Abby dropped her boots on the floor and sat down on the settee to lace them up.

"What are y-you doing?" Katie frowned, peering over her mother's old bed sheets.

"I'm gettin' Mama out of prison, that's what I'm doin'." Abby finished her right boot and promptly started on her left.

Katie squinted and looked across the room towards the clock that rested on the mantel. "But it's midnight, Abby!"

"So?" Abby shrugged her shoulders, determination on her faced as she finished her left boot.

"W-what if Papa finds out?" Katie stared skeptically at the impulsive one.

"He ain't even here. He'll never know." Abby grinned, her cheeks dimpling.

Katie rose to her knees, scooting to the end of the bed. "What are you g-going to do?"

"It's better if ya don't know, Kates."

Katie frowned, grimacing at her sister's patronizing tone. She threw the comforter over the side of the bed and slammed her feet down on the hard wood floor, placing her hands on the side of her hips and deftly moving in front of Abby before she realized she was there. "You are n-not going anywhere without me, hemeho."

Abagail closed her eyes when she saw Katie's stubborn gaze. She knew that look well. "Katie… I'm goin' to see someone… I'm goin' to a place ya shouldn't have to see."

Katie looked at Abagail for a solid minute without saying a word, which always made Abagail nervous. "And I have seen far more than you will ever see. Let me go with you."

Abagail knew Katie was right. They were as different as any two sisters could be, but Katie had steel inside of her. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you."

Katie nodded and marched to the closet. "I stand with my sister. Where you go, I go."

_**1893**_

"My grandmother never even heard them leave the house," Stephen whispered proudly across the table, the lamplight making his eyes shine as he told his story to Lina.

"I can't believe your sisters did that. What did she—" Lina waved her hand as she searched for the name.

"—Abagail," Stephen supplied softly.

"Abagail, yes. What did she honestly think she could do?"

Stephen shook his head, looking down at the desk, a sad smile running across his face. "I don't know."

Lina picked up on his quiet response, so she asked another question. "And your father? He was at the prison with your mother the entire time? Did they ever tell you what happened?"

Stephen shook his head. "Very little. It's made things very difficult to sort out now. To figure out where to go from here. All I know is that that night changed their lives forever."

_**1873**_

The darkness was thick, so tangible and real that she could feel him touching her, holding her, whispering secrets of nothing, secrets of lies, secrets of something into her ear. "_Michaela_," David whispered, his mouth etching the corner of her lob, spiking the hairs on her body into the air. "It's me. You know it's me. Just let me touch you, and you'll know I'm here."

"_Michaela_!" Sully pulled her shivering form to face him, finding her face in his hands. "Listen to me, Michaela! I'm not David. I'm Sully. No one's gonna hurt ya anymore. Ya just gotta listen to my voice, Michaela—"

"_Michaela_…" David turned her face away, his hands sliding around her waist, pulling her away from Sully. "I have something to tell you. Don't you want to hear it? Don't you want to know?"

"_No no no no no_! Go away, _David_! Go away! Go away! Go away!" Michaela screamed as she pushed away with ungodly force, removing her body from Sully's grasp and flying blindly across the cell into the black, swirling vortex of her mind.

David encircled her from behind, bowing his head into the crook of her neck. "I can't do that, Michaela. I'm inside of you."

Sully tried to catch her, but she was too far gone. He knew it would take more than simple reassurance to convince her than he was here, that he was real. He was blind, but if he could find her through time, with words, a memory, then he had to try. He fumbled for a moment as his mind traveled back to every hello, every goodbye, every tear, and every laugh. Then another came, but it was now, and it cracked with sobs across the darkness.

"Listen to me, Michaela," David moaned and rocked her back and forth, "It's about that night… I need to tell you about that night…"

"No, David, no…" Her voice was hardly audible anymore, as if she were being buried alive. Sully's entire body shook as he moved across the room towards her. He stumbled backwards and caught himself against the wall, his hand immediately going to his chest, gripping the fabric of his shirt and something else—her engagement ring. He gripped it hard in his hand, remembering everything it symbolized, everything it was. Suddenly, he yanked the chain off his neck, and held it securely in his hands.

"Remember the day ya gave me ya ring, Michaela? Remember what ya said?"

Michaela froze, uncertainly clear in her voice. "I gave my ring to Sully, not you."

"The night before they took ya away, remember how close we were?" He took small steps towards her, finally close enough where he could cut out her form in the darkness.

"W-what?"

He could feel her breathing, so he continued, "We were so close, weren't we? We could have disappeared into Wyoming that night. But we couldn't leave 'em, couldn't we? I said, we made this our fight too the day we joined the village."

"I know Sully," Michaela whispered as they lay together underneath a blanket in the fire lit teepee. "I don't trust Chivington at all. And…"

"And what?" Sully caressed the taunt skin above her stomach.

She placed her hand over his, letting his hand run up along her ribcage. "And this might sound selfish, but I'm scared for us."

"It's not selfish. It's human. This isn't the life we were supposed to live. I wish I could give ya more. Maybe…" Sully's hand stopped just below her breast, and she laced her fingers with his.

"What?" Michaela whispered, sensing his trepidation.

"Maybe…maybe we should leave Colorado. Start over somewhere completely new." Their eyes locked, and there was nothing but sadness there at the thought of it.

Michaela nodded, bringing his hand palm to palm against hers. "I've thought about it. You have no idea how many times I've thought about it. But when I see Katie's face light up around Snowbird or how protective Cloud Dancing is of her, I simply can't bear the thought of leaving them. Of depriving Katie of such wonderful people in her life. And we can't forget our little adventurer."

Sully groaned and turned over unto his back, nearly pouting. "Did ya see her knees yesterday? That Brian treats her just like a little boy instead of the sweet little girl she is."

Michaela laughed and sat up on her elbow. "Sully, Little Brian had bruises from his head all the way to his toes! Are you sure you're ready for all of these girls you're counting on? Katie's barely walking!"

Sully smirked at Michaela. "Well, as long as those little boys know how to treat my girls, I can handle it."

"But you see? Abby's so happy getting in to scrapes with Brian. I know it's not ideal, her going back and forth between here and Colorado Springs, but they really have made an adventure out of it." Michaela rested her head on Sully's chest.

Sully rolled his eyes and exhaled. "I know. She's a mess, but I wouldn't have her any other way."

"I wouldn't have you any other way either." Michaela planted a light kiss on his nipple, eliciting a deep moan from Sully.

He looked up at her and ran at hand through her long coppery mane. "Ya really happy?"

"I am." Michaela tilted her head and pushed against his chest, lifting her body over his, and smiled down as she sank over him, as the sensation filled her. They were happy and they made love easily, like they had a thousand times before, and when it came time, she cried out his name, like a thousand times before, and as their eyes met in the night, she cried again, "I was… I was…"

"You showed me so much that night," Sully whispered, holding her ring as if it were his lifeline. Michaela was still, she was listening, she was with him finally. "I had never loved you more."

"But it was over when morning came," Michaela said, her voice lifeless and withdrawn.

"You're wrong," David spun around, reappearing in front of Sully. "It was over when the gun was shot. When the shot was given. When I was given your hand."

Michaela backed away, shuttering. Sully stepped forward, reaching for her. "Michaela! Stay with me, Michaela… Stay with me, we were gettin' somewhere, you just gotta focus on my voice and remember—"

"You have to remember, Michaela," David stood behind her, keeping her from moving backwards. "Remember—"

"I don't want to remember!" She screamed, covering her face with her hands. "I don't—I don't—"

"Michaela!" Sully grabbed her wrists, bringing her close to him in the snowy valley. "We gotta run, Michaela. We got no other choice."

"I don't—They'll find them at Sand Creek for sure if we run. The lines of communications have been down for weeks! We can't risk it, Sully. We can't!"

Sully shook his head, looking around at the abandoned village, all but for their home. "I can't risk you! Chivington is out for blood. And he doesn't care if it's yours or the Cheyenne. Whatever gets him into office."

"I can't allow my friends to be hurt. I won't do it. We have to stay here." Michaela lowered her head and closed her eyes. The situation was desperate. Chivington had taken it upon himself to add Michaela to his list of acquiescence, and he had been nothing sort of ruthless in his pursuit of her.

"Well, isn't this an interesting picture?" John Chivington road down the levy on his stallion, followed by several subordinate officers. "I come to find Chief Black Kettle, but I end up finding something twice as intriguing: the fugitive and her abetting lover."

Sully tightened his hold around Michaela. They had been avoiding this moment for months, and now there was nothing they could do. They were at the mercy of Chivington's will. "What do ya want, John?"

"That's Colonel Chivington, Mr. Sully." John dismounted his horse and stepped down in front of a Michaela and Sully. "I consider myself a reasonable man, a logical man. And I've looked over your case file most thoroughly, Dr. Quinn. You didn't kill those people, did you, doctor?"

Michaela looked into his dark eyes. Something strange was amidst. "I don't know. I can't remember."

Chivington shook his head and laughed. "What an honest answer. Not a judge or jury in this country will find you innocent though, despite your honesty—or innocence. But… I will, on one condition."

"What's that?"

"Tell me where Black Kettle took his people."

Michaela's jaw tightened, and she stood firm. "I'd rather die."

Chivington's smile dropped and agitation replaced it. "You really are a foolish woman. This is your freedom. We'll find them eventually, no matter what your bleeding heart does."

"Maybe. But not today, Colonel Chivington."

"Have it your way. Corporal, take Dr. Quinn and Mr. Sully into custody." Chivington watched icily as the Corporal separated the couple, which didn't seem to matter as they kept a steady gaze on each other. This was not acceptable. He would make them pay, yes, he would make them pay. "Stop, Corporal."

The Corporal looked at Chivington with confused, young eyes. Michaela and Sully swapped curious glances, and the Colonel smiled smugly to himself. He had them. "No. I want you to take Mr. Sully to Denver for sentencing of aiding and abetting a fugitive. Dr. Quinn comes straight to Boston with me where she will be sentenced for murder on four accounts."

"You can't do that!" Sully jerked forward. "You haven't even read us our rights!"

Michaela shook her head, her thoughts immediately going to Abby and Katie. "We have children! We haven't even said goodbye! You can't separate us like this!"

Chivington smiled smugly. "I gave you a choice, Dr. Quinn. Your rights became null and void the second you did not comply with my wishes."

"That's breakin' the law and ya know it!" Sully yelled, nearly knocking the soldier holding him over.

Chivington cocked his head towards Michaela. "So is murder, Mr. Sully."

"Ya would know about that, wouldn't ya?" Sully seethed.

"Get Mr. Sully's _whore_ out of here, Corporal." Rage filled every pore of Sully's body, and the soldiers holding him couldn't contain him any longer as he charged forward, flying through the air over the stallion, knocking Chivington off the horse, falling hard unto the ground.

He raised his tomahawk in the air and slammed it hard against the side of Chivington's neck, the cool blade grazing the side of his flesh. Michaela shouted as Sully pressed his forearm into his esophagus. "Don't do it, Sully, please don't it!"

Sully turned around and looked in her solid but frightened eyes. "Men like him—"

"I know… but that's what he wants… That's what he wants." Sully turned back to Chivington and leaned close, looking hard in his cold, dark eyes.

"If ya ever talk about my wife like that again, I_ will_ kill you." Suddenly there was a hard object pressed against the base of his back.

Chivington grinned slowly, his cool returning. "I wouldn't be making too many threats, Mr. Sully. Now _back away_."

Sully stood slowly as one of the soldiers pressed a revolver into his back. He turned around and met Michaela's eyes. She was trying not to cry. She was being so strong, so resilient. The Corporal holding Michaela looked disturbed, his conscious too aware of what was going on.

"Get her out of here, Corporal," Chivington ordered again. The Corporal swallowed, his hold on Michaela loosening. Suddenly Michaela ran forward, fear circling Sully's heart for a moment as the six guns sounded, the safeties being removed, as she flew into his arms.

Michaela found Sully's ear and whispered quickly, "I hide our ring… It's here… Promise me you'll come back and find it one day. Promise me!"

"I'll find it, I promise. We're gonna be all right, aren't we?" As six guns were aimed at them, they looked in each other's eyes, and didn't know the answer. He could only kiss her, and hope, hope, _hope for what_?

"What is this? Get her out of here now!" Chivington bellowed, no longer in the mood for theatrics. Two shoulders pulled Michaela away from Sully, while the rest held him back.

Sully and Michaela kept contact as long as they could, but once it was lost, she didn't hold back and she began to kick and scream as they lifted her onto a horse, "_Sully! I love you, Sully!_"

"I'll find you, Michaela! _I'll find you_!" As the soldier wrapped his arms around Michaela, she disappeared into the woods, but her voice still called for him, and Sully pushed against the force of the soldiers to reach her, but she was gone.

Just as her voice became part of the wind, Chivington turned back to the soldiers as he mounted his own horse. His face lost all emotion. "Forget my orders. Make it look like an accident. _Kill him_."

Sully's eyes shot back to the trees where Michaela had disappeared and he screamed with all the life he had inside of him, "_MICHAELA! MICHAELA_!" But she was gone, and the back of a pistol hit hard against his head, until he met the ground, until it was black and they were shaking across from each other on the cold prison floor.

"I heard him… I heard him scream, but I couldn't turn around, I couldn't do anything—" Michaela ran her hands up the side of her face, rubbing her skin as she remembered.

Sully placed his hands on her shoulders. "It was me, Michaela. You heard me_. I'm here right now_."

Silence filled the space between them, and suddenly Michaela whispered, "…Sully?"

Light and hope filled Sully as she said his name. "Yes…Yes…"

David hovered over Sully's should and whispered, "Michaela… You grabbed the gun, Michaela… You grabbed the gun. Only you would do such a thing."

Michaela jerked, taking a step back from Sully. "No David, I didn't. I didn't do it."

Sully walked back towards Michaela, but she moved back towards the wall. He followed her, staying as close as he could without touching her. "Michaela, look at me. Ya don't have to fight anymore. Ya just have to trust me. Remember when I said my vows to ya? Remember all that I promised? I said that I believe in ya, and that we can do anythin' together. We can do this. I know ya scared, but I believe in ya, Michaela. The past isn't all bad. Remember our weddin' night? I still didn't know if ya could forgive me. If it was enough. I always wondered."

Michaela could hear him, and slowly sank down the wall. "If I could go back—"

"If you could go back, you would do everything the same, Michaela," David said, his head resting in her lap. "I know you. Even after what I did, I know you would do the same."

"If—if I could go back—" Michaela stood up, pushing David away from her, and walked towards the center of the room.

"Michaela?" Sully reached forward as he felt her retreating, as he felt her loss, as surprise swept over him, as she step forward, the firelight cascading over her shoulders around her body as she stood before him, perfectly beautiful. This was different than the first time. While a hint of color crept into her cheeks, her body did not bare the marks of repression or sadness. This was a woman who was longing to be loved, longing to feel his touch, longing to love in return. She walked out of her wedding dress, leaving it near the soft bed he had made for their baby that was growing inside of her.

Michaela walked slowly to him, and he stood before her on his knees as she lightly ran her hands over his hair and shoulders. Her eyes were so calm, so sure. He didn't know why, but a deep shutter overcame him as he looked at her, and he rested his hand against her stomach, still flat and smooth. She ran her hands down his back, over his wedding shirt, circling his body. She whispered into his neck, "Are you scared?"

Sully found Michaela's hands and entwined them with his, before kissing the soft skin on her belly. "I don't know what kind of father I'll be."

Michaela pulled back and looked into his eyes, cupping his face. "You're wonderful with Abby. You will be fine, Sully."

Sully held his hands over Michaela's and sighed, looking up at her, "But I wasn't there for three years. I just got lucky with Abby. If it wasn't for you, she'd hate me for sure—"

Michaela sank to her knees in front of Sully, her arms wrapping protectively around his neck. "Well, she doesn't. She loves you. She's always going to love you. And so will this baby."

Their eyes met, and she still saw the uncertainty in them. She had felt the same emotion earlier that day, but it had been different. He needed a different kind of security, one that didn't come with promises or words or ceremonies, one that came with love and trust, and day to day living and breathing.

Michaela took his hands and placed them over her bare stomach. She breathed. She looked into his eyes and whispered, "No more doubts."

Sully nodded, a small smile etching the corners of his mouth as he brought her fully onto his lap. "No more doubts. I've missed you—"

Sully could barely finish his thought as impatience took over and his lips met hers in a hungry kiss that they greedily fed upon after weeks of travel and morning sickness separating them. Their need for each other was carnal and frenzied, their excitement surprising them both as Sully's clothes were easily disposed of in a matter of minutes. It was different than before—the friction, the heat had accelerated. It was kinetic, and Michaela couldn't stop touching him. His hands were everywhere and anywhere at once as they held each other, her flesh pressed against his, their legs finding each other and holding on, as it all swirled around them.

As Michaela gripped his back and sighed, Sully became embolden. He had never been with a woman like this—Abagail had been too fragile. But with Michaela, he didn't fear that she would break, and she matched his passion with every breath and kiss. Slowly, he began moving down her body, drawing a line of kisses as he went, keeping close watch of her eyes, in case it was too much for her.

Michaela watched him move slowly down her body, and when she finally realized what he was doing, her heart began to pound outside of her chest. She tried to control herself, but her body was completely tense as everything flew to her head, and she could feel her nerves turning into tremors.

When Sully reached her lower abdomen, he stopped as he felt her shaking. He looked up into her half-closed eyes. "Trust me, Michaela."

"I do…" She smiled hesitantly, as she reached out her hand for him, "We've just never… There are certain things…"

"I know. I haven't either. I just… I just want to be close to ya. But I understand—"

"No, no… I want to be close to you too. I trust you, Sully." Michaela exhaled as Sully lowered his head ever so easily, placing gentle kisses around her hips. Time slowed down, and every breath and sigh and heartbeat lasted a thousand years as she gripped the blankets around her. As contact was made—she gasped. A thousand years passed as he tasted her, a thousand years passed as her head fell back on the soft rugs and she was running along a beach towards something, something, something so beautiful, wonderful, and she was so close, so close, as a thousand years passed, as the wind blew in her face, as she ran after it, as the ocean swelled within her body, and his mouth loved her like the constant tide, a thousand years passed, and she was home.

As the sensations racked through her body, she curled to her side, catching her breath, and Sully moved along side her, feeling the repercussions wake through her body. He didn't know what to say. It was like she had gone somewhere, above their bodies, even above their spirits. She clung to him, and he to her.

Suddenly, she turned around, and smiled, the brightest smile he had ever seen. She touched the side of his cheek and looked deeply into his eyes. "You're my soulmate, Sully."

"Ya just now figurin' that out?" He laughed softly, pulling her against him.

"No… but it's more than that though… I don't know what it is, but I don't even think time could keep us apart. I'd find you no matter what." Sully pressed his mouth against hers, and she responded in kind as they got caught up in the frenzied haze again, and they made love as they fire crackled around them, until the early morning, until it turned into black embers and darkness, and then Michaela reached for him blindly, the night clear in her mind now, as she cried out for him, "Sully, Sully! If I could go back, I wouldn't change a thing. I swear I wouldn't—"

"Michaela?" Sully found her cold hands in the darkness and desperately laced them with his own hands. "You know it's me?"

"Yes! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" She flung her arms around his neck, her tiny frame sinking into his. "I should have known you—we promised…God, we promised!"

Sully cradled her head, rocking her back and forth as she cried. "It's all right… Don't ya worry, Michaela. I'm here, and I love ya, and that's all that matters."

"All that matters? All that matters?" David suddenly grabbed her arms and flung against the wall, pressing his body tightly against hers. "Love is not going to save you, Michaela!"

"Michaela!" Sully cried out as she pushed away from him, her body shooting into a violent spasm.

"You took the gun, Michaela. Do you know why? Do you know why you took the gun?" David's hands circled around her head, and he pressed his forehead against hers.

"No! No!" She cried, shaking her head back and forth, as his eyes bore into hers.

He smiled softly and whispered, "Because you have a heart."

Slowly, David leaned over and kissed her, and she closed her eyes, until she saw the grayness of the walls, and the look in Suzanne's glazed violet-blue eyes as Holland pulled the gun on David.

"I won't live by your hand anymore, father."

"Then you'll die by it." Reverend Lewis cocked the gun, and Michaela bolted across the hall, plastering her body in front of David's.

"What are you doing, woman!" Reverend Lewis bellowed, the gun faltering in his hand.

"If you kill him, you'll have to kill me too."

"Have it your way then."

"No!" Suzanne screamed, running across the room, yanking David's revolver out of his belt. David and Michaela jumped back at her inhuman scream, and as they were turned, Holland shot David in the back. David slumped against Michaela, sliding to the ground. Without a second thought, Suzanne screamed like a dying dog and shot Holland in the heart. Holland fell against the wall of the hallway and locked eyes with Suzanne's single good eye. She was raging as he took his final breaths, her breathing ragged with medication, but lucid thoughts came to the surface as she saw his shoes encircle with blood. The shoes. The shoes under the bed. Father, son, and holy ghost. She pulled what was left of her blonde hair and yanked it out of her head, wailing out in pain. "You bastard! You killed my baby! You killed my family! You bastard! You killed them! You killed them! You killed us! Go to hell! Rot in hell and die you bastard!"

Holland fell over in a pool of blood, his cross now crimson instead of gold.

Michaela stood up slowly, in shock, walking towards Suzanne's tiny frame frozen in the middle of the hallway. "Suzanne?"

Suzanne turned around, her hollow eye dark as she dropped her blond hair from her hands. "You."

"Can I have the gun, please?" Michaela asked calmly.

Suzanne shook her head and laughed sadly. "You always do that, don't you? Always want what I have."

"Suzanne—I…"

Suzanne pulled out more hair, and a small trickle of blood began to run down the center of her forehead. "I'm tired of it! I'm so tired! Tired! He loves you more, but he loved me first. He gave me little girls, did you know that? And Caroline was perfect. Perfect! And we would have been happy if it wasn't for you, if it wasn't for people, people, taking things they shouldn't. I didn't want to. I didn't. But I couldn't stop it. And I didn't know. I didn't know Caroline would get it… And I didn't know David…. I didn't know… I didn't know."

Suzanne began to cry on horrible sounds, and Michaela slowly walked to her, tentatively putting her hand Suzanne's arm. "I know that, Suzanne. It's alright. He loves you, he does. I have my own family. I don't want to take yours, I promise. Just give me the gun. We need to get David some help. You want David to get help, don't you?"

Suzanne lifted her head slowly and looked across the hall to David, raggedly breathing. Realization almost set in. "Yes…Yes… But why are you helping me?"

"I don't like to see anyone in pain." Michaela put her hand over Suzanne's pale cheek. "And I cared a great deal about your daughter."

Suzanne flinched away, backing up into the doorway of her room. "My daughter… my babies… Why why…"

Michaela tensed and began to walk towards her as Suzanne closed her eyes, holding the gun to the bottom of her chin. "Suzanne! Don't do it, Suzanne!"

"It's all gone…it's all gone…"

David looked up from his haze, a pool of blood beginning to form, "Suzanne… Please…"

She looked down at him, a guttural moan escaping as she cried. "We never even had a chance, did we?"

"No Suzanne!" Michaela rushed forward, but Suzanne turned to her, and shot her in the shoulder, shaking her head fiercely.

"Stay back. I'm done." Just as Suzanne brought the revolver back to her mouth, Michaela dived forward with her right arm extended.

But Suzanne wanted it more. Suzanne lost her grip of the gun just Michaela gained it. Suzanne fell to the floor against David, and Michaela stood in the center of the hallway as footsteps approached.

As Sully ran down the hall with Abagail in his arms, four loud gun shots rang out.

When they turned down the corridor, Michaela was standing in the center of the floor holding David's revolver in her right hand. Reverend Lewis had been shot through the heart, dead. Suzanne was lying against David, shot in the head. Hot blood poured out of David's back as he looked up to Michaela.

"Michaela?" Sully whispered.

She turned to him, revealing a bullet wound in her shoulder. She looked back to David, and then the world went black. His arms were solid around her as she woke up to the darkness, and she could smell him, the leather and the soft cotton he always wore. "Sully," she whispered, her body shaking, as though she had just been shot.

"I'm here, Michaela. You passed out. What happened? Do I need to get a doctor?" He asked as he rocked her back and forth. Michaela closed her eyes and breathed, the memories all clear, all present.

"No… I… He's gone… Where did he go?" Her eyes fluttered as she tried to focus.

Sully swallowed nervously. "David?"

She nodded and finally admitted, "Yes. He's been here. He hasn't left me for months. He—he kissed me and—"

Sully closed his eyes. He could hardly comprehend what she had experienced, but the idea of David kissing her sent chills down his spin. "Michaela, David was never here. He's in a coma, remember?"

Michaela grabbed his hand, holding on as it all came flooding back. "But-but it was so real, Sully. I could feel him. I—I…Sully, I remember."

Sully paused and listened to the tremor in her voice. Something had changed. "What do ya remember?"

"I know what happened when Suzanne and Holland were killed. I know what happened to Caroline. I remember," Michaela spoke rapidly, her voice picking up excitement by the second.

Sully could hardly speak as he grabbed her hands in his. "Michaela…That's…Then this nightmare is almost over."

She cupped his face, and she could tell he was smiling just the same as she was. "Yes. It wasn't me, Sully. I don't know how we're going to prove it, but it wasn't me."

"But that's a place to start. Oh Michaela!" Sully pulled Michaela into his arms, enveloping her, pushing all the darkness away, until there was nothing but light around them. His lips found hers, and he began kissing her urgently, but Michaela stiffened as she felt his body changing and reacting to hers.

As she retreated, Sully caught her, not letting her out of his reach. "What is it?"

Michaela buried her face in his chest. "It's been such a long time."

"You remember, right?" He found her chin and placed a warm kiss on her cheek.

Michaela nodded, as she tried to relax in his arms. "Yes… I just don't know if I can. My body… It's changed, Sully. I've been so lonely. Some nights I dream about us."

Sully leaned over and rolled his forehead against hers, sighing as he thought of the long nights apart. "I dream too."

"But now… I…I need you to show me. I need you to be my memory." Sully pulled back.

"I'll always do that for you. I remembered your ring." He took it off its chain and held it in his hand. "Don't ya think it's time we put this where it belongs? I want to give ya all ya memories back, just like I'm givin' ya this ring back."

"You know I can't wear it here." Michaela sighed sadly.

"Well, just for tonight then." Sully put slid it on her finger and smiled as he caught a little of the diamond's light.

"Thank you for keeping it. I don't know of anyone else who would have stayed with me through all of this," she barely whispered as her voice betrayed her emotions.

"Trust me then. That's all we need." Sully found her lips again, and they kissed slowly, finding what was old, what was new, what needed healing, and what simply needed more time.

Michaela touched his body tentatively. It had changed, become more defined, more masculine and full as opposed to when he was younger. She swallowed nervously when she realized how tentative he was being with her, as if her body would shatter and break into a thousand pieces. She had lost over twenty unnecessary pounds since she had been in prison, and her ribcage was visible through her flesh. Her breasts were no longer full like they used to be, and Sully's gentle yet careful touch reflected that. She was almost embarrassed. This was not making love. This was fear.

She pulled back, trying to find some reflection of his eyes. "You think I'm fragile, don't you?"

Sully shook his head, sigh apologetically. "No. I think I'm a fool."

She touched his tight jaw, holding so much tension. "No you're not. But we can't pretend."

Sully picked lifted her off her feet and held her in his arms tightly as stubborn tears came to his eyes. "I should have broken ya out the second I found ya."

"Someday, tomorrow… maybe a week from now, Sully." She kissed his neck, her anxiety dissipating as she felt the need to simply love and comfort him. "It's all right."

The darkness seemed to cloak them again as they held on to each other, walking backwards in the space towards the wall. When Michaela hit the brick, she knew the fear had manifested itself into something primal and raw. A need to just be with each other. She circled her arms around Sully's neck and waited.

"Ya sure?" He whispered, running his hands down to her bare hips. Michaela nodded and kissed him again, opening her mouth and tongue to him. And he lifted her up and held her body to his, preparing her.

Like glass shattering into a thousand pieces, they crashed into each other. It was impossible to be gentle. The darkness forbade it. Something stirred in both of them as they took and gave to each other, and light entered the room, circling them, warming them, protecting them as another child was created during the darkest night of their lives.

Katie gripped Abagail's hand as they walked down the corridor of the hospital. She finally understood what Abby was talking about. This place had more spirits than a Cheyenne Graveyard.

"This is it, Katie," Abagail whispered as she reached a gray door. Katie nodded once as she kept a serious expression, even though her eyes widened three times their actual size. "I'm gonna go in. How bout you stand guard?"

"I-I can do that," Katie said as Abagail turned around and pushed through the doorway. Katie stood in the doorframe and listened to Abby's feet clink across the room. She closed her eyes, sending a silent prayer to the spirits.

Abagail looked at the figure lying in the bed. Her stranger looked dead. But she knew he was asleep, he had always been asleep, and that's why they were stuck in this nightmare. She walked over to the side of the bed and sat down on the white sheets. She lifted his hand, white and coarse with disease, and held it in her small one.

"I know ya had a daughter. And I know ya loved my mother. Those are two very good reasons to wake up. But you're not goin' to do that, are ya? My real mother was sick. Not like you though. It didn't make her act different or nothin'… It just made her weak. I guess you were weak too, huh? I remember… You were goin' to take the blame or responsibility… I don't know. But you were too weak. And because of that, my baby sister barely knows her mama and I never get to see my Papa, not that I really knew him anyway, and there's this—this boy… but I guess because you're asleep, that doesn't mean too much to ya, does it? Why can't ya stop bein' weak? Why can't ya wake up? Huh?" Abagail dropped his hand abruptly when she realized that tears were streaming down her face. She stood up from the bed and walked over to the window, trying to gain control of her emotions, but instead a memory flashed, and she laughed bitterly.

"You told me things that confused me. Things I still remember. That my mother didn't love me. What kind of disease does that? I'm sorry, but there is more to that than disease. I refuse to believe it. So why don't ya wake and prove me wrong?" Abagail spun around, anger fueling her body and raging throughout her voice. "Is there a human being inside of you anywhere? Then wake up!"

Katie slid through the side door as she heard her sister's voice rise in volume. Katie watched as Abagail jumped on the side of the bed and pushed down hard on David's shoulders. "WAKE UP, DAVID! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!"

Katie ran into the room as Abagail began hitting David's chest violently. "Stop it, Abby! Stop it!"

Abagail released David's hospital gown, letting him fall back on the bed. Katie put her arms around Abagail's shoulders and gently led her off of the bed.

"It's ok, sister. It's ok. You t-tried." Katie circled Abagail's shoulders, and Abagail's head fell in Katie's nook.

As they held each other, a low groggy voice suddenly whispered, "D-down…Michaela…I wrote it down…Just like you said…"

_**1893**_

"But I don't understand, Stephen…" Lina stared at Stephen across the table. "David woke up, Michaela remembered… Your amazing sisters… I would love to meet them. Especially the one who literally beat him awake! That's… that's almost—"

Abruptly, Stephen stood up from the table, the chair screeching out from underneath him. "I shouldn't have—"

And suddenly, his feet gave out from underneath him, and he broke down into painful, repressed, angry sobs.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 36

He crumbled into himself like a small child, and Lina felt and instant pull to him as mournful, unforgiving cries resounded throughout the hollow space in the library. All her life she had kept at a distance from people, not allowing touch or any real human interaction. But now she was standing, walking around the table without a thought to herself or her self-conscious scars. She reached out and smoothed away the fallen blonde locks from his face, and when he lifted his eyes, those beautiful, pained eyes, she could see the frozen, scared little boy, no longer the man he had become.

She had seen eyes like that before, terrified eyes, eyes that were begging for relief, for help, for salvation. And she hadn't been able to do anything. Lina swallowed and leaned forward, pressing her lips against his forehead, hoping to give him some kind of comfort, some kind of release.

But when his arms circled around her waist with such ferocity and need, she could barely breathe as she felt him shatter against her. She was not equipped or ready for this. She pushed at his shoulders, trying to ease out of his grasp.

He didn't know the power of holding her in such a way, nor could he, just as she didn't know or understand the weight of his sadness. He couldn't hear her or feel her resistance. She gasped for air as her lungs closed off from the outside world, and she jerked away from him in a frightened rage, "Don't touch me!"

Stephen snapped back, shocked at her sudden outburst. The air staled around them as they stared at each other, both breathing heavily. Embarrassment quickly overtook Lina, and she turned from him, running back towards the front desk.

Before she could escape, Stephen called out, "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

She stopped, her back rigged, quivering slightly as she stood in place. "It's my fault. That was selfish of me. You're in pain and I—"

"So are you," Stephen whispered, his voice gentle, masking his own emotion. He walked across the room and stood behind her. "I can listen. It's one of my strong suits."

Lina turned around and smiled sadly. "No. My problems are long past. I should be listening to you."

"I'm not sure there's anythin' to be done." Stephen turned, looking back towards the mountain of books that sat open at his table.

"Maybe not. But I can listen," Lina exhaled and stood shoulder to shoulder with him.

"Are ya sure?" He asked meeting her strange, beautiful eyes that she constantly veiled. They were like Katie's, but different. The brightness was hidden… almost like faded lilacs.

She blushed slightly, color running from her cheek to her ear. "Yes. Nothing like that will happen again. I want to help you."

Stephen frowned, not knowing whether to accept her offer or go with his innate nature, and help this stranger. Before he could change his mind, she walked back to the table and sat down.

"Please," she said, "Tell me."

Perhaps she was right. He had been carrying this weight alone for so long. Perhaps he should share it. And perhaps in sharing his life, he could persuade her to share hers. He walked back slowly to the table and sat down across from her.

"To understand what happened… ya need to understand my sisters… They weren't just Abby and Katie… They were Abagail…Miss Sully…White Eyes… Katherine… Lightening Woman… Ho'otseoo'e. I've never met two women so different yet so completely connected…"

**_September 28, 1863_**

"Ya tummy's all bumpy, Mama!" Abagail giggled as she stretched across her swelled belly. They cuddled together in a pile of extra blankets and animal skins that Sully had brought in to make her more comfortable during the last months of her pregnancy. Abby suddenly popped her head up and looked at Michaela questioningly. "Who will ouw baby look like?"

Michaela grinned at her little girl. Abby was nearly jumping out of her skin with anticipation for the new baby. "Well, she'll look a little bit like your papa and a little bit like me… and if she looks anything like you, I'll have the two most beautiful daughters in the whole world."

Abby smiled, but her face was soon thoughtful again. "Is it gonna huwt?"

Michaela wrapped her arms securely around Abby and smiled reassuringly. "It may hurt for a little while, but the pain ends once the baby comes."

"That's scawy." Abagail's eyes were wide as she curled into Michaela's neck. "Was…was my angwel mama scawed?"

"I don't know, Abby. She was asleep when you were born." Michaela could feel the little girl's chest rising and falling heavily. She lifted the little girl's chin and looked in her giant, sensitive brown eyes. "Are you all right, sweetheart?"

"Will…will ya be wif me when I have a baby?" Michaela didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Abby couldn't even pronounce her R's correctly. The thought of her having a baby and growing up… Michaela couldn't bear it. But Abby persisted, "Will ya, Mama?"

Michaela sighed, giving in, "I promise. I'll be with you every second."

Abby grinned at Michaela and nuzzled her nose. Michaela leaned forward and kissed the tip of her nose. As she shifted, a sharp, shooting pain ran down her spine to the center of her being. She grimaced and pulled back from Abby. The little girl immediately took her mother's hands.

"Mama? Ya OK, Mama?" Abagail panicked as Michaela arched her back and closed her eyes, unable to answer her. "Mama!"

Michaela let out a long, agonizing scream. Abagail's eyes filled with tears as she held her mother's hands, not knowing what to do for her. Michaela finally opened her eyes, breathing heavily. "G-go find Snowbird, Abby. And tell them to send for Sully…and Cloud Dancing…"

"Mama…?" Abby's voice shook, frightened. "I don't wanna leave ya 'lone!"

"I'm fine, baby… Just go… We need help now!" When Abagail disappeared into the outside world, Michaela leaned back into the blankets, feeling the warm dampness pool all around her. It was a strange time to be alone. She hadn't told Abby, but she was frightened. She didn't know if she could handle much more of the pain. What if Sully didn't get back on time? She closed her eyes and breathed as everything around her tightened like a twisted, mangled knot, pulling her body slowly apart.

When she didn't think she could stand another moment of pain, the flap of the teepee flew open and Abagail returned with Snowbird.

"You are right, White Eyes," Snowbird kneeled in front of Michaela and lifted her knees, splitting open the end of her dress. "The baby is coming fast. It will not wait."

"But Sully—" Michaela sighed, anxiety and distress clear on her face as another contraction began.

"He has been sent for, Medicine Woman. But this baby will not wait." Snowbird turned to Abagail, who watched her mother in cold shock. "I need you to go sit with your mother and hold her hand. Do you hear me, White Eyes?"

Abby jumped a little when Snowbird raised her voice. She quickly nodded and went to Michaela. During the next thirty minutes, Abby sat behind Michaela and supported her mother as the contractions became closer and closer. The day would turn into a mirage of faded images for her, but she would never forget the closeness she felt with her mother as they held hands and began to push her little sister into the world.

Just as the head was beginning to crown, the flap flew open and Sully rushed into the teepee, falling down beside Michaela. Her eyes met his as he smoothed the sweaty hair out of her face. She couldn't even smile at him, as the staggering pains ripped through her, and she wailed, leaning back into Abagail's shoulder, that was supporting Michaela's weight and pressure despite her shocked state.

Snowbird let out a tangled laugh as she looked up to Sully's questioning eyes. "Sully! Come see! Your baby is coming."

Sully went to Snowbird and was astounded. Snowbird smiled at Sully. She whispered hurriedly. "Have the blanket ready."

Michaela let out a final scream, and two tiny shoulders, with curled arms and elbows and knotted hands, with bent knees slid into the world like lightening. Sully had never seen anything like it. His hands shook as he waited to receive the baby, and he watched as Michaela fell back against Abagail. He shook his head as he looked at his daughter holding his wife. In that moment, she did not look like a four year old. It was like looking at a ghost; she was the image of her real mother holding Michaela.

Snowbird quickly cut the umbilical cord before placing the tiny baby into Sully's waiting hands, bringing him back to the present.

"It's a girl!" Snowbird shouted, smiling brightly towards Abagail and Michaela.

Abagail wrapped her arms tightly around Michaela as they both shook with joy and laughter together. Finally, Michaela looked up and saw Sully holding the baby securely in his arms with a worried frown on his face. His eyes didn't move away from the baby's face.

"Sully?" Michaela asked, holding out her arms for the baby as he held the child silently.

"Sully!" She asked again when he didn't respond.

Sully shook his head and didn't speak for a moment. Finally when he did, his voice could barely be heard. "She's—she's real quiet, Michaela."

"Let me see her now!" Michaela nearly screamed as panic swept over her. She took the tiny girl in her arms. She was absolutely perfect, but her eyes were shut and she didn't make a sound, not one cry. Michaela unwrapped her from the blanket. She lifted the back of her neck and opened her mouth, searching for any matter she might be choking on. Once her mouth was cleared, she turned her upside down and slapped her on the back. Once. Twice. Three times.

Abagail stood up and slid her hand into her papa's as she watched her mother work on her little sister. The baby still made no sound. Four times. Fives times. Six. Seven. Eight. Michaela's efforts were almost becoming frenzied and hysterical as the baby did not respond. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Tears began to well in her eyes, and she couldn't see what she was doing anymore. This wasn't just a patient; it was her baby.

When there was no response, Sully let go of Abagail's hand and knelt down beside Michaela, wrapping his arms around her and the baby, stilling her hands. She was about to break, and he couldn't stand it. "Michaela…it's ok…"

"No!" Abagail screamed, tears running down her cheeks. She held out her arms demandingly. "I wanna see her! Lemme see her!"

Abby thrust out her hands and Sully looked in her eyes. Michaela was exhausted and hysterical from trying to revive the baby, and he knew better than to deny his daughter in this moment.

He took the still baby from Michaela arms, gently holding her entire body in the palms of his hands, and placed her in her big sister's arms.

Abagail peered at her peaceful face. They were wrong. Their baby was just sleepy. She smiled softly as she saw the soft blonde fuzz on her little head. She nuzzled her forehead and kissed it. Ever so softly, she began to hum the lullaby Michaela sang to her every night before she went to sleep.

Michaela lifted her head and found Sully's hand as they watched Abagail sing to their silent baby.

As a gust of wind blew through the valley of the Cheyenne village, a little girl's song could be heard, and the Cheyenne stopped and waited. Cloud Dancing stood outside of the teepee, listening, to the sweet sound grow, and he knew that the spirits were there, watching them, and he knew that hope was not yet lost.

When the wind died down, a silence broke over the village, and Cloud Dancing closed his eyes, simply listening to the song. But White Eyes' song was broken by the sharp cry of an infant's first breath.

Snowbird opened the flap of the teepee and ran out into Cloud Dancing's arms. "The baby breathes. She is alive!"

Inside the teepee, Abagail smiled broadly at her parents as if nothing had happened. She walked back in front of Michaela and Sully and kneeled in front of them, placing the baby back in her mother's arms. "She just wasn't weddy to wake up yet, dat's all."

The baby peered up at them with deep blue eyes, moving back and forth as she tried to find her focus. Her little arms flailed out as she cried, and she immediately latched on to her papa's finger.

Michaela's eyes searched over every inch of their baby girl, but there was nothing wrong with her, she was absolutely perfect, and her color was growing stronger every second. Michaela looked up and found Sully's eyes. "She's…she's—"

"I know… I thought—" Sully didn't finish the thought as he pressed his lips against Michaela's damp forehead.

Abby leaned over the baby girl and whispered something unintelligible to her. She paused for a second, as if she were waiting for a reply, and then looked at her mama and papa. "Da baby wants to be called Kathwine."

"Katherine?" Sully and Michaela looked at each other contemplating the name. When Sully saw the smile form in the corners of Michaela's mouth, he turned back to Abby and nodded, holding his arm out for her. "That sounds perfect, Abby."

"I know," Abby said confidently. Grown-ups were so silly sometimes. "But… can we call her Katie? It's easieh to say."

Sully laughed and pulled Abagail into his lap as Michaela and Katie leaned against his chest for support. He had all of his girls here. They were all safe, happy, and by some miracle, alive.

_**1893**_

"It must have been difficult for the girls to be separated all those years," Lina observed, leaning forward on the table.

"It was for all of them, but after David cleared my mother of all charges, thanks to the girls, we had some happy years." Stephen smiled, a sly grin Lina hadn't seen before coming to the corners of his mouth.

**_1880—Colorado Springs_**

"Stephen!" Abagail ran down the stairs of the homestead, her hair half up, half down in a mess of ringlets. "Where are ya, you little—!"

Michaela looked up from a stew she was attempting to make before the Sweetheart's Dance that night. It was not going well at all. Her salt and pepper shaker had mysteriously vanished.

"What is it, Abby?" Michaela stilled the fire and left the stove. She shook her head when she saw her daughter's appearance. For some reason, Abagail often looked her best when she was a mess, and in that moment, she was absolutely beautiful in her half-dressed state.

"I can't find my silver barrette that Grandma gave me! And you know how Stephen likes to meddle in my things, so where is he? Where is he!" Michaela raised her eyebrows at her outraged daughter.

"Abagail Sully! You are acting like a petulant child. Now come sit down and tell me what's really going on. I've never known you to get upset over material possessions." Michaela put her hands on Abby's flustered back and led her to the dining room table.

Abby collapsed unceremoniously in a chair and looked helplessly at her mother. "No. You're right. You're always right. I hate that."

Michaela shook her head and put her hand over Abby's. "I'm not always right, I just know you inside and out."

Abby bit her lip and looked down guiltily. "It's…it's about the dance."

Michaela nodded knowingly. "I figured as much. Are you having regrets?"

Abby nodded and put her face in her hands. "I don't know why I couldn't say yes."

Michaela sighed and began running her hands through Abby's hair. "I thought things were going well between you and Brian. When did that change?"

Abby grimaced and moaned, obviously not wanting to tell Michaela the truth. "When he told me he… he…"

"When he told you he loved you," Michaela helped her out.

Abby turned around and hid her face in Michaela's neck. "Yes. Now everything's all messed up."

Michaela squeezed Abby's shoulders. "Well, you certainly look beautiful. Once we find your barrette and pin the rest of your hair up, it won't seem so messy. You just need to find Brian and tell him how you feel."

"TOOT TOOT!" Stephen belted from under the kitchen table. "Special delivery for Ab'gail Sully and Mama Quinn! One time offer only!"

Michaela pulled out one of the kitchen chairs as Stephen pushed his wooden train set out from under the table that suspiciously carried Michaela's salt and pepper shakers as well as Abagail's silver barrette.

Stephen held out his hands and stared daringly into Michaela and Abagail's astonished eyes. "That'll be 25 cents each please!"

Abagail's nostrils flared and she pushed herself up from the table, ready to pounce him. "Oh, I'm gonna get you, you little sneak!"

"Nuh uh!" Stephen backed up smugly towards the door. "I _know_ things about you now, Abby!"

"Why you—"

"Ab'gail's in love! Ab'gail's in love!" Before Michaela could stop them Abagail was chasing Stephen around the table. Just as Sully opened the door, Abagail and Stephen burst past him and began running down the steps and around the house.

"What in the world was that all about?" Sully asked as he threw his trappings down on the floor of the homestead. Michaela shook her head and went to Sully, wrapping her arms around his waist in hopeless amusement.

"Well, unfortunately for Abby, Stephen is on to her, and she's not too happy about that." Sully chuckled and shook his head. He wasn't sure he wanted to know all of the details of his daughter's daily drama.

"Where's Katie?" Sully asked they stepped through the doorway onto the porch. Michaela nodded towards the end of the porch, where she was sitting in the corner, carving another flute.

"She ain't gettin' dressed for the dance?" Sully frowned. Katie never complained, but she also never quite seemed truly happy, and that's all he wanted for his little girl.

Michaela sighed, watching their quiet daughter. "I always make her a dress, but she never wants to go. I don't want to force her. That just seems…"

"I know," Sully whispered, finished her thoughts.

Suddenly Stephen came bounding back around from the other side of the house. His eyes were wild with laughter as he shrieked with unfettered delight, "Save me, Katie, save me!"

Michaela smiled at her little boy and tucked her head under Sully's chin. "How'd we get so lucky?" she whispered.

Katie looked up from her work and met her little brother's eyes. She grinned at him and dropped her flute. Without warning, she stood up and jumped over the railing of the porch, flying through the air, until she landed on her feet in front of Stephen, catching him in her arms. Abagail was right behind him, and they tumbled together in a heap on the ground. Abagail's dress was completely ruined, but she didn't care as she took a hold of Stephen and met Katie's eyes with a conspiring grin. They both began to tickle their little brother mercilessly, kicking up mud and dust and dirt, until they were all covered from head to toe.

Just as exhaustion set in, Katie pulled away and looked up towards a rider in the distance. She couldn't make out who it was, but it wasn't one of the townsfolk. She stood up slowly as an eerie feeling crept over her entire body, as the rider turned into a man, who turned into a distinct member of the Cheyenne tribe from the colors of his war paints and feathers.

Stephen and Abby stopped wrestling, and Abby brought him closer to her in her lap. Michaela and Sully stepped down from the porch as the Indian got closer. Sully didn't take his eyes off of Katie.

The Indian had raven black hair that he kept long down his back. His face was covered with black and white striped paint across his forehead and eyes, but they were tender, despite the fierce paint, and the toned muscles of his body. His chest moved up and down rapidly, and he kept his eyes locked on Katie. He held tight to his reins, not knowing whether he was in a dream or not. Cloud Dancing had said she lived here, but could this beautiful, tall creature really be his Ho'otseoo'e? He couldn't tell. She was covered in mud. She took a step closer to him, her eyes narrowed and then opened wide, revealing sapphires.

_**3**_

The reins dropped from his hands when he saw her eyes. He knew it was her.

"Katie?" He whispered, his voice deep and foreign to her.

"I am Katie," she answered, her body suddenly shaking from head to toe as he dismounted from his horse and walked straight to her, offering his hands.

She looked at him curiously, as he held his hands out for her. She felt her family's eyes watching her, but suddenly his eyes were the only eyes she could see, and they were back at Washita, and she couldn't find him, and she was screaming for him, but he wouldn't answer, he wasn't there, he wasn't anywhere…

Sully gripped Michaela's hand when they heard Katie's voice break out in a sob. Katie hardly ever cried, and somehow in that moment, Sully knew he had lost his little girl.

"Oh my God," she breathed before taking his hands in hers, "No Harm…" His masked forehead pressed against hers, and before she knew what was happening, they were kissing.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 37

_**1880**_

It was a strange sensation for Katie—feeling every breath and heartbeat of another person, being so close and touching him, kissing him, knowing he was real, that he was alive. Only late at night when Abby and Katie were alone did they talk about such things, and lately, Abby had been tight lipped about her courtship with Brian. Yet when they were a younger, they had practiced kissing on the back of their hands, but none of it could have prepared her for this moment.

No Harm pulled her closer, and she could feel the tight muscles of his bare chest press through her thin gingham dress, touching her own skin. Their mouths parted, and they pulled closer, until their hands were in each other's hair, and they were beyond hello as they pulled even closer, as breathing became impossible.

"Let me see, Ab'gail! I wanna see!" Stephen insisted stubbornly and pulled at her hands covering his eyes.

"Shh!" Abagail whispered harshly in his ear as she moved her hand from his eyes down to his mouth. "Don't say another word, Boo! You are goin' to ruin the most romantic moment of your sister's life!"

Stephen frowned at Abby, glaring at her with scheming, playful eyes. Suddenly, his cheeks rose, and the most angelic smile lit his eyes and face. It wasn't a second later that Abby felt something slimy and wet on the palm of her hand.

Abby's eyes widened as his smile broadened, and she knew her resolve was breaking. But she pressed her lips together and glared at her disgusting little brother. Two could play at that game. After all, he had learned all of his tricks from her. She clamped her hand over his mouth, swiftly lifted his little body in her arms, and proceeded to run past their dumbfounded parents, strait to the corral where the water trough kept its home.

Michaela could feel her blood flow constricting as Sully gripped her hand. She wasn't sure which situation to ascertain first: her husband, who was clearly in a state of shock watching their youngest daughter with a young man they had never met before; Katie, who was clearly overwhelmed by this stranger…this warrior… Michaela didn't know what to think… A cloud had always been over Katie—she hadn't been more than a baby during Sand Creek. Michaela knew of the nightmares, but Cloud Dancing and Snowbird had helped comfort her when Michaela hadn't been there in the morning. But Washita had silenced her, and she refused to talk about it, even to Abagail. Was this young man part of her silence? They could have only been children—

Suddenly a shriek came from the water trough, and her little boy was flapping around in the water, as Abagail was standing over him, laughing smugly.

Finally realizing that they weren't alone, Katie and No Harm slowly pulled always from each other. Katie looked into his dark eyes, and then immediately away, down, to the sides, anywhere but at him. Her entire body was heated, and she was thankful for the dirt and mud across her face so her blush couldn't be detected.

"I did not expect this," No Harm whispered, his voice nervous and full of years of so many things never said.

"N-neither did I," she shook her head, her heart filling with something she couldn't name as her stutter returned unexpectedly.

"I did not expect to know." His hand circled her pointer finger and she slowly lifted her eyes and met his. She didn't know what to say. She could barely move. She was afraid if she did, she would wake up and he would vanish again.

Just when words failed her, her questioning parents' presence filled in the silence. Katie quickly flashed glances between her ma and pa, ascertaining who was the safest parent to address. She quickly out ruled her father. She couldn't look in his eyes without crying. She turned to her mother, but her face was just as lost as her father's. This was happening so fast, and she didn't know what to do, or say, or how in the world they would ever understand.

No Harm watched her, and when he realized her voice was gone, he held her hand tighter and stepped forward, extending his left hand to Sully.

"My name is No Harm Comes To Him. I have been lost. I have been to places I never wish to see again. I have been fighting to come back home since the Washita. Ho'otseoo'e…Katie is home."

**November 27, 1868—Washita **

The night still slept as dawn tried to wake. Katie curled in her white blankets that her papa had made especially for her. They were worn and tattered, and Snow Bird offered to make her new ones, but she refused. There was something about her white blankets—sometimes she could almost feel her mother holding her in them.

Katie sighed. There was no use thinking about such things. She rolled over, and suddenly there were two large brown eyes staring right at her.

Before she could scream, a hand covered her mouth, and he whispered, "_It is only me, __Ho'otseoo'e_!"

"_Crazy boy_!" Katie whispered, pushing his hands away from her face. "_What are you doing here? Snowbird will be angry with you!_"

"_I found something! I have to show you_." No Harm's eyes sparkled in the darkness, and Katie couldn't hide her curiosity.

"_Tonight_?" She pushed away her white blankets, forgetting about their warmth and safety.

"_Yes, tonight_!" Katie turned around and looked at Snowbird who was sleeping soundly. She turned back and smiled at No Harm. She put her hand in his.

"_Let's go. Not a sound_." They stood up and flew out of the tent together.

No Harm turned back and grinned at her as they ran together through the teepees to the trees. "_Not a one_."

No Harm and Katie ran through the trees until they came into a clearing. The moonlight shone through the opening, and in front of them stood a tangle of roots, that knotted and twirled into the ground. The red oak that sprung up from it was the largest that Katie had ever seen, and her mouth dropped as she stared at it. "_Oh my goodness_!" She exclaimed.

"_Let's climb it_!" Katie giggled as No Harm leapt ahead of her and jumped into the tangle of roots, and she immediately followed him, chasing him as they raced up its limbs and branches, finally making their way to a corner branch that seemed to be a seat. No Harm and Katie sighed and sat beside each other in the chilly autumn night, catching their breaths as they stared into the night sky.

"_Aren't you glad I woke you up_?" No Harm glanced at Katie through the corner of his eye as she stared out into the vast Oklahoma plains. Her face was calm, and she seemed to have drifted away somewhere, perhaps to a foreign land. "Ho'otseoo'e?"

"_Will it always be like this, No Harm_?" Katie asked, her voice was innocent, but carried much more weight than her young person allowed.

"_I suppose not. But if we were to stay in this tree, then I guess it might_." Katie frowned, contemplating his idea and then shook her head with a warm laugh.

"_People would miss us, and then we would be in trouble_!" No Harm sat up and pulled out his carving knife as Katie continued to laugh.

"_True. But if we got away with it, we would never miss each other_." Katie rubbed her lips together skeptically as No Harm began to chip some bark away on the tree. He worked diligently until he had carved several letters in the wood. When he was done, he pulled back and pointed, "_Look. Did I get it right?"_

In shaky manuscript, No Harm had written the word "NOW" in English. Katie looked at him and nodded quickly. "_Yes, it's right. So_?"

"_It's forever now. No one can ever take it away from us_." She smiled at her friend, her dearest friend in the whole world. He had a way of making the hardest things make the most sense when no one else seemed to have any answers. The moonlight lit them, and she saw that he was smiling too. Just as she was about to sit back against the tree, he touched her hand, stopping her. She looked in his eyes, questioning him, but he had closed them, and he was leaning in towards her lips, and and and…she swallowed, as he came closer, and she didn't know if she should keep her eyes open, or if she should close them, so she closed them, but she opened them again, but no, that wasn't right either, so she closed them again, and everything slowed down, and he was so close she could feel his breath against her face and his hand held hers so tightly and she took a deep breath and pursed her lips and suddenly there was a violent, bloody scream in the distance, echoed by gunfire, and and and their lips never touched as their eyes flew open.

"_No Harm_?" Katie took his hand as he turned towards the gunfire, which began exploding in rapid succession. They could hear the war cries of their people call out and the sound of horses gallop across the plain. The thrashing of branches made Katie's head jerk around, and she held tight to No Harm's arm. "_What's happening, No Harm? What's happening_?"

Through the trees the soldiers passed them like a sea of flies, and No Harm covered Katie with his body, holding on to her, as they watched the men race towards their people, their camp, their home.

Katie looked out through No Harm's arm and peered through the trees to the vast plain. Flames began to spread, and she could hear her people crying, crying, crying, and she couldn't do anything but watch. She could feel No Harm's heart beating against her back. It was like a drum, and for a moment, she closed her eyes pretended she was watching the elders of the tribe circle the campfire as they did a hunting dance, and there were no more guns or death or violence anymore, only hope. Only hope.

Then she saw the faces of her family. Abagail laughing. Her Papa's proud eyes as she road Flash for the first time by herself. Cloud Dancing praying. Her mother… Her mother… Her eyes suddenly flew open, and the drum beat of No Harm's heart filled her own, and she looked into his eyes, terrified. "_Snowbird! She's asleep in our teepee! I have to go back, I have to—_"

"_No, __Ho'otseoo'e_!" No Harm grabbed her tiny wrists, stopping her from climbing down the tree. "_I will go. You must stay here. You must keep out of danger_."

"_I don't care about myself! I promised Cloud Dancing I would take care of her_!" Katie cried as she began to push her way past him, down the limbs of the trees. No Harm quickly followed her, but she moved faster than he did, and as she got to the bottom of the tree, she raced back to the camp, tearing into a sprint through the thin veil of trees.

"_Ho'otseoo'e__!"_ No Harm screamed as he chased after her, but there was no stopping her—she was heading straight into dawn, straight into the war zone.

"_Snowbird! I'm coming Snowbird_!" Katie called out as she rounded the ridge.

"_Ho'otseoo'e__! Stop __Ho'otseoo'e__!" _No Harm screamed as she descended into the camp. As he stood on top on the ridge, his heart stopped as he looked down at the burning cones. Bodies were strewn everywhere, and people were scattering, running for the trees that they had just departed.

He spotted her quickly, her blonde hair loose from its braids—he ducked behind teepees, sinking low to the ground, so not to be seen by the soldiers around him.

The top of their teepee was in flames and she quickly threw open the flap, searching inside. "_Snowbird! Where are you, Snowbird_?"

But Snowbird was not inside. She quickly grabbed her white blanket, turned around and ran outside. Everything was hot and smoke filled the air around them. She couldn't hear or think straight. She didn't want to be here… She wanted… She wanted—she turned around, looking for someone, anyone she knew, but she saw nothing but bodies, nothing but lifeless faces who had the last look of shock on their faces, they why in their eyes… She ran towards the stream, away from it all, but stopped once she his body curled beside his wife. Black Kettle was dead.

A feeling of disgust rushed through her body as Katie screamed out in horror, staggering back in fear and shock. Where was No Harm? She had to find him… What if… The bodies were everywhere, in every direction, and their eyes, their eyes were all closed, all open, all dead, all lost….Why, why, why... Suddenly she fell backwards, landing backwards, hard on the ground. She felt a warm hand against her face and then looked up.

She lost her heart in that moment. Snowbird was lying on the ground. Blood was falling in a steady red stream from her mouth. Katie took the white blanket in her hands and covered Snowbird, placing her hands around her face. "_I'm here, Snowbird, I'm here! I'm going to take care of you, just like Cloud Dancing told me to_." Snowbird's eyes shuttered and a soft smile came to her face. "_Do you here me Snowbird? Snowbird_?"

Katie tapped her face lightly and kissed her cheeks three times. Snowbird's breath was shallow. She found Katie's eyes and held them. "_You are so old. So much older than you need to be. You don't have to take care of me anymore. I want you to run, __Ho'otseoo'e__, run like lightening. Don't let them find you_."

"_I can't leave you. You're my family. Where am I going to go_?" Snowbird held Katie's face above hers and pressed a kiss to her lips. It was a kiss of love. It was a kiss of life. It was a kiss of goodbye.

"_Go to Colorado Springs. Don't let them find you_," She whispered just as her eyes closed.

Katie lifted Snowbird in her arms as the smallest whisper came out, "_W-who's going to take care of me_?"

And without warning, Katie's cry filled the camp. She keened over Snowbird, hot tears running down her face as feral sounds emitted from her mouth. Everything was gone. And then the only words that made any sense came to her mouth, and she held her hands out and screamed up to the Heavens, "**M-MAMA! I WANT M-MY MAMA**!"

A cold hand pressed down on her shoulder and she looked up into the eyes of a soldier. He frowned at her as he saw her blonde hair and blue eyes, and he said, "Come here, little girl. Are you lost, sweetheart?"

"Evoneše?" She retorted, pushed his hand off her shoulder.

"But-but you're a white girl. Hey Major! We gotta problem here!" Katie stood up slowly and glared at the soldier.

"Natsêhestahe," she said defiantly, proudly.

As another soldier approached, her eyes moved quickly around the circle of flames. Snowbird was right. There was nothing to do but run. As two officers approached them from the north side of ridge, Katie took off south towards the Washita river.

"She's gettin' away!" The Major yelled and drew up his gun.

The first soldier looked at the little blonde head flying through wind and he turned around, waving his hands. "Stop sir! Stop! She's a white girl! Stop!"

Katie turned back around, rage filling her body as she heard him, as she watched the last remains of her people die away with the morning. With a clear voice that did not belong to a child, but a nation, she screamed back, "Natsêhestahe! _I AM CHEYENNE! _Natsêhestahe!"

"What is she sayin'?" One officer asked the other, his rifle still aimed at Katie.

The Major shook his head. "Looks like them Indians have driven that child crazy."

"Well, I say we put her out of her misery." The officer released his safety, but the Major pushed his gun down.

"No. That's a white child right there. I won't have that on my conscience, no matter what garbage she's speakin'." The soldiers turned around, and Katie was free, she knew. But No Harm. Where was he? Why did she run ahead….? It wasn't safe for him like it was for her…. The Major suddenly turned around and looked at her, glaringly.

"If you can understand me, girl—you better run. We don't take kindly to Indian lovers. And you best keep your mouth shut. I know your face now. I know you. So get!" Katie stared at the Major, memorizing his face, his gray eyes, and his dark black hair.

"Natsêhestahe!" She said again, her jaw set in place. She would not be afraid of him.

"Get!" He said again, his temper flaring, knowing he could do nothing to her.

"Natsêhestahe," she whispered, before disappearing behind the river bend. The Major shook his head. He hated sympathizers. There was nothing worse. As he turned around, his two officers came back with a small boy in tow.

"We just found him hiding by the river, pretending to be dead. What should we do with him?" One officer held No Harm by the hair while the other one kept his arms behind his back.

The Major stepped forward and looked at the small boy. He smirked. "Are you goin' to be a brave, son?"

No Harm had heard Katie in the distance, and his heart had filled with pride. But as he stared into this man's eyes, he knew that he couldn't speak the truth. He couldn't say what was in his heart. He would surely die. He quietly shook his head and lowered his eyes.

"Aw, he's just a kid, Major." The Major considered this for a moment and looked in to No Harm's eyes.

"Put him with the rest of the prisoners," The Major said. As No Harm was pushed away, he turned around, but there was no sign of Katie. She was gone.

As the morning came into full glory, the prisoners were taken away, and the bodies and skeletons of black teepees were all that remained of the Cheyenne camp by the Washita.

_**1880**_

Sully took No Harm's hand in his and held it for a long moment as he studied the young man's eyes. Katie watched her father's eyes, and for a moment, she didn't know what he would say.

But Michaela knew. She knew right away Sully understood how No Harm felt about their daughter. How long he had waited to be with her. Exactly what they weren't saying. She knew Sully.

Sully looked into his daughter's eyes and smiled, reassuring her before he looked firmly into No Harm's. "I'm glad ya found your way home, No Harm. Come inside."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 38  "Normal"

_**1880**_

Michaela sat in front of her vanity, her face unreadable, even to herself as her own eyes looked back at her. She felt the draft from the doorway, and Sully's tired form appeared in her mirror, his worried eyes seeking comfort in the reflection.

He walked up behind her, his eyes fast on hers. Michaela immediately dropped her powder puff and lifted her hands above her head, reaching for him as he came to her. When their hands touch, she pulled him down to her so he circled around her body, covering her.

"Oh Sully," Michaela whispered as he seemed to inhale her. "Are you ready for this?"

"I've never been more terrified in my life." Sully sighed into her copper locks. "But I've never seen her so happy."

"You did the right thing." Michaela felt Sully's hands slip from her body as he moved to sit beside her on her settee. He put his hands over hers and looked into her trusting eyes.

"Michaela… Ya need to know. I just saw Cloud Dancin'…" Sully's jaw tightened and he looked away from her, shaking his head dejectedly.

"Sully…? What is it? What aren't you telling me?" Michaela reached for Sully's hand as he got up from the settee and began pacing around the room.

He stopped in front of their bedroom window and looked out into twilight. "I never thought I would say somethin' like this."

He was scaring her now. Michaela turned back around, looking down at her vanity table. "Sully—"

"But when I saw her lookin' at me like that. Katie ain't asked me for nothin', Michaela. And I feel… I feel like I haven't given her nothin'. I couldn't say no," Sully's voice was low and quiet, full of lost time and regret.

"That's not true, Sully. You love her," Michaela said strongly, straining the veins in her throat as she lifted her head and peered into the mirror, watching him through the glass. He stopped and looked at her, sensing her tension. This time softly, "You love her. What's this about?"

Through glass they peered at each other, through glass they knew each other better than most people who had never spent a day apart. They were used to barriers. Sully took a deep breath and peered into the mirror. "No Harm is considered a fugitive by the U.S. Army. If they find out where he is, they'll kill him."

The glass could have shattered, and it would not have made a sound in their contained silence. But they could not ignore the soft knocking at the door, or the shy, hopeful voice that called for them, "Papa? Mama? C-can I come in for a minute?"

Sully closed his eyes and cleared his throat, leaving Michaela in the looking glass. Michaela straightened her back, put her hands in her lap, and tried to find her smile.

"Come in, Kates," Sully called out, his voice dissonant as he searched for normalcy.

But when Katie opened the door, their veiled emotions completely failed them both. She was wearing a snow white dress with a bright blue sash in the middle. Her blonde hair cascaded around her shoulders, half-up, half-down in a thousand ringlets.

Katie's bright smile made Michaela's eyes burn. She twirled in a small, self-conscious circle and looked straight into her mother's eyes. "Do you like it, Mama?"

Michaela couldn't speak. She simply smiled as her little girl continued twirling around the room.

"Abby made it. Can you believe it? She does not have patience enough to make a medicine wheel with me, but nevertheless, she surely makes the most beautiful dresses in the whole world!" Katie stopped twirling in front of Sully as her spinning made her slightly dizzy. "Pa?"

Sully sighed and looked at Michaela, knowing they couldn't let this go on, despite how happy she was. Sully took her hand in his and smiled softly. "Ya look beautiful, Katie. And any young man is lucky to escort you to the Sweetheart's Dance."

"But," Katie said evenly, her eyes meeting her father's directly, her girlish smile suddenly fading, quickly replaced by the serious, stoic expression that had masked her face since she was a child. Sully sighed and pulled her over to the edge of the bed. He sat down, and though she was far too big, she sat on his right knee and quietly curled her head into the crook of his shoulder.

"Listen to me, Katie. I know how that heart of yours works. Ya get ya mind set on someone and there's no goin' back for ya. It's all or nothin'."

"How'd you know that?" Katie popped her head up and peered into his eyes.

"Cause that's how I feel about your ma." Sully looked across the distance of the room towards Michaela.

Michaela saw Katie's confusion and spoke up, "And we see how much you care about No Harm, sweetheart."

Sully looked at Michaela, framed in glass. "We understand what it's like to be separated—"

"We weren't just separated. I didn't know if he was alive. Do you know how m-many—" Her voice broke off and a blank stare crossed over Katie's blue eyes. Michaela looked at Sully and he quickly hugged her, bringing Katie back from her inner nightmares.

"I know, Katie. I know. And all we want for ya now is to be happy and safe. That's what's most important to me and your ma."

"I am happy! I am safe! I don't know what you are trying to tell me, pa," Katie said anxiously.

"I saw Cloud Dancing today. He told me what happened to No Harm. He was severely beaten in the Wyoming reservation two years ago by a highly ranked officer who was supposedly keeping the peace between warring tribes. Katie…." Sully stopped when her eyes closed. He put his hands on the side of her face until she opened her eyes. "Katherine. No Harm escaped. He's considered a fugitive."

Katie stared in her father's eyes without breathing. Finally she exhaled, "Oh."

"Katie," Michaela called her name as the girl's face whitened to the color of her dress. "Look at me, Katie. Are you alright?"

Suddenly Katie looked up, her eyes blazing like sapphires. "I have to protect him."

Michaela stood from her vanity and crossed the border to her husband and daughter. "What can we do?"

"I thought the Sweetheart's Dance was outside with the whole town, Mama?" Stephen asked as he followed her around the living room like a little puppy as she cleaned up.

"Not this year, Boo."

"Well…well… How am I supposed to meet me some lady-friends if I'm always dancin' with my sisters?" Stephen asked innocently.

"Stephen Sully! When have you ever been interested in having a…a… what did you call it?" Michaela stopped and turned around slowly.

"A lady-friend. Hank says it'll put hairs on my chest quicker." He looked down his shirt and back into his mother's eyes. "I don't got any now."

"Hank! Oh my…" Michaela put down her dusting rag and called upstairs, not taking her eyes off of Stephen. "Sully! I need you now!"

Stephen's bottom lip poked out as his papa descended the stairs, dressed in his best pants and shirt, his tie still loose. "What is it?"

"Am I in troubled?" Stephen asked, wide-eyed.

Michaela sighed and shook her head at him as she lifted him up on the dining room table. "No. You're not in trouble. But if you have questions about… certain things… You should go to your father, not someone like Hank."

Stephen looked pointedly at his father and raised his chin diplomatically. "I want some lady-friends, Papa. How do I get 'em?"

Sully's head slowly turned to look at Michaela, and then it turned just as slowly back to look at Stephen square in the eyes. "One or a whole a lot?"

"A WHOLE LOT!" Stephen spread his arms out as wide as they could go.

Sully bent down in front of him, as if he were telling Stephen a secret. "Well, the best way I know to do that, is to catch 'em by surprise."

Stephen leaned forward conspiringly. "By surprise?"

Sully nodded his head and tapped Stephen on the nose. "But ya better be careful, Stephen. One of those girls may catch ya by surprise."

"But I don't want to be caught!" Stephen hid his face in the palms of his hands.

"Then ya better hold off on all those lady-friends, Boo." Sully rubbed his son's back as Michaela watched half aghast and half amazed that his words had worked so easily. "Ya know, gettin' caught's not half bad. But it's got to be with the right girl. And ya gotta love her and respect her above all else. Ya hear me, Stephen?"

"Stephen?" Michaela asked, running her fingers through his dirty blonde hair.

"BOO!" Stephen's head popped up and he wrapped his arms and legs around Michaela, laughing hysterically, "I caught ya! I caught ya! Were ya scared? Huh, Mama? Huh?"

As Michaela's heartbeat slowed down, she returned his giant bear hug. "You are such a mess! What am I going to do with you?"

"What did he do now?" Abby asked from the top of the stairs, an annoyed expression etching the corners of her ivory face. She was wearing a soft pink dress, but its softness did not match her mood at all. She had no desire to sit at home while all of her friends… while _Brian_… was dancing away in town without her. Why had she said no to him? It would have been easy to blame her sister, but she couldn't do that. She wanted Katie's happiness more than she wanted her own. However, _that thing_ over there she called her brother… now he didn't have a care in the world.

Sully laughed, tussling Stephen's hair. "Your brother thinks he's ready for girls, Abby. What do ya think about that?"

Abby smiled devilishly. This was too easy. "Come on, Boo! Ya can start with me! Let's dance!"

"Awe, Abby—"

Katie stood tentatively in front of the bedroom door. The room was supposed to be hers, but she could never bring herself to leave Abby. "No Harm? Can I come in?"

"Yes, just a—"

"I brought you some fresh water in case you wanted to—" Katie stopped in mid-stride as she saw No Harm standing in front of the window, struggling to do up the buttons of a white button down shirt.

He looked up, embarrassment filling his eyes. "I wanted to look nice for you. But my hands are clumsy."

Katie frowned. She had never seen him in anything but colorful shirts and tanned leather and buckskins. "You don't have to do that for me. I want you to be comfortable."

He laughed uneasily as he gave up on the buttons. "We were not from different worlds before. Now. Look at you. You're so beautiful. And I'm—"

She walked across the room to him quickly, stopping his thoughts. "It's still me. I don't care if you wear a paper bag tonight. I'll go change and wear one with you."

He put his fingers over her lips. "Shh… You are always so quick to save the day. Let me do this for you. I don't want to deny your world. You never denied mine."

She sighed and looked down at the beautiful dress, which felt so strange to her, which would feel so comfortable and normal to most girls her age. "The truth is… I've hardly stepped in mine until now."

"Then what are we waiting for?" No Harm smiled and took her hand in his.

Katie grinned shyly and bit lower lip. "Alright. Let me just help you with these."

Button by button, she slowly made her way up his shirt, until her hands were in front of his chest. "There," she said quietly, lifting her eyes to meet his. "Now we will be perfectly uncomfortable together." His hands slipped over hers, and she felt the same impulses driving through again as his night eyes darkened. She closed her eyes when her forehead hit his, sending her back into reality. "M-my family's waiting."

They lowered their hands and No Harm put an arm's length between them. He smiled sincerely. "I will wait too."

Katie blushed and lowered her eyes, taking in his full meaning. She wanted to respond, to tell him everything in her heart, but she couldn't. People were waiting. She strengthened her hold on his hand and whispered, "Come on. I want you to dance with me."

Stephen huffed as he and Abby swayed back and forth without any real beat or rhythm. He looked pointedly at his mother and father who seemed to be managing just fine without such luxuries. "Mama! This is silly without any music!"

Abby stopped mid-stride as Stephen suddenly landed on her foot. "Boo!"

"You're the one who stopped movin'!"

"Stephen's right, Ma. I miss Grandpa's harmonica. I miss—" Abby stopped herself short and looked down. Michaela and Sully looked at each other and quickly sprang into action without any words.

Sully took Abby's hand and looked straight into her big, frustrated eyes. "Ya were really countin' on that dance weren't ya, Abagail?"

She grimaced. She hated being caught. "It's selfish, I know. But I can't help but feel disappointed."

"Brian's gonna be there, ain't he?" Sully smiled knowingly.

Abby rolled her eyes and admitted, "Yes."

"So if I take ya there, he'll be able to take ya home when it's over?"

Abby put her arms on her father's shoulders and nearly jumped in the air. "Really, pa? Ya mean it!"

Sully smiled when he saw her face light up, even when her nails dug unto his shoulders. "I do. We need someone there to represent the family anyway."

"Let me go get my shawl. Thank you, pa!" As Abagail charged the stairs, Katie and No Harm finally made their way down. Katie stopped Abagail, taking her hand in hers.

"What happened, Abby?"

"Pa's takin' me to the dance! I'm gonna get to tell him, Kates," Abby whispered excitedly.

Katie kissed her sister's cheek and whispered in her ear, "I'm so happy for you. You have to—"

"I will. We'll talk about everythin' later tonight." Abby ran past them as Katie and No Harm walked hand in hand into the living room, apprehension plaguing them both. Luckily for them, they went quite unnoticed as Stephen commanded the attention of Michaela and Sully.

"Well this party's a bust!" Stephen pouted leaning on his mother's hip. "No music, no lady-friends—"

"You can dance with me, Boo," Michaela suggested as she ran her fingers through her little boy's tangled locks.

"You're a taken woman, mama," Stephen sighed. "But since Papa's leavin', I suppose I'm the man of the house now."

Michaela stifled a laugh as Stephen took her hand and led her to the center of the room. Sully smiled after them, catching Michaela's eye for a moment as Stephen held his hands out rigidly, sticking his tongue out between his teeth as he tried to concentrate on the counts to the waltz. Abagail came bounding down the stairs; her dark curls flying as she ran past her father and straight out the door. "Come on, pa!" She called behind her.

Sully shook his head and followed Abby out the door. "I'll be back in a bit, Michaela." He turned to Katie and No Harm, quiet and absorbed with each other.

"You two," Katie blushed wildly as she met her father's eyes on his way out the door. She had been so close. "Be good."

Sully could hear the music echo from the center of town as they neared the meadow. He looked at Abagail through the corner of his eye. Her face glowed with anticipation, and she didn't say a word as they crossed the bridge. He almost believed she had grown up. Abagail turned and looked at him, feeling his gaze, and smiled.

As they neared the clinic, Sully stopped the wagon and looked at Abby. He kissed her on the forehead. "I am so proud of ya."

Abby grinned and laced her arm through his. "Would you care to escort me to the dance, sir?"

"I'd be most happy, Miss Sully," Sully whispered and helped Abagail off the wagon. And they proceeded to walk arm and arm together towards the music.

Whereas at the Sully home, they danced in silence, except for Stephen, who was completely fed up with the lack of music.

"Why can't we go to the dance again?" Stephen asked as he leaned his head on Michaela's stomach.

"You know why, Stephen," Michaela answered matter-of-factly, her gaze rising to No Harm and Katie, who didn't seem to notice the lack of music or words or even that anyone else was in the room. And suddenly, as she watched her daughter's eyes light with love, her heart flooded and she felt the most powerful feeling, a pain so deep she didn't even realize it was there. She missed Sully. She… "But mama!"

Stephen's voice broke Katie and No Harm out of their trance, and No Harm turned to Stephen and bent down, a smile stretching across his bronzed face. "Have you ever seen a Cheyenne flute, Little Boo?"

"'Course! Katie makes them all the time!" No Harm turned around and found Katie, a blush running down both sides of her cheek. Michaela raised her eyebrows and deftly slipped out unto the porch.

"You do?" He asked as she nodded quietly. Stephen pulled on No Harm's arm, demanding his attention back.

"How come you called me _Little_ Boo?"

"It is your Cheyenne name. I hear you are a trickster." The front door shut and Michaela returned with the flute that Katie had been working on earlier that afternoon. Katie's eyes widened as Michaela held the carefully crafted instrument out to her.

"Oh! Play something for us, Katie! Ya never do!" Stephen clapped his hands excitedly.

"I-I'm out of practice. Maybe you should play." She passed the flute to No Harm.

No Harm held the flute in his hands and looked at her for a long moment. "No. But I will play with you."

No Harm walked to his travel bag hanging by the door and lifted a large wooden flute out of it. Michaela silently took Stephen's hand and led him to the chair where he promptly jumped in her lap. He snuggled under her chin as No Harm walked to the front of the fire place, holding the second flute out for Katie.

"Play with me."

Katie shook her head nervously, the painful past holding her back. "I haven't—"

No Harm stepped closer to her and put the flute in her hand. He smiled reassuringly. "Play with me."

Michaela watched them silently. She could feel her heart beating like wild drums in her ears.

Katie pressed the flute to her mouth and closed her eyes. No Harm followed her. The first chords were played in perfect harmony. Michaela closed her eyes. They found harmony immediately, but the drums grew louder, and Michaela was running, running, running towards something…someone, and she held out her hand, and she was so close, she was almost there—

She felt two small hands on the sides of her face, and she opened her eyes. Stephen was staring at her. "Why are ya cryin', Mama?"

Michaela shook her head, not knowing exactly why as the duet played on.

The music swelled as couples danced in circles around the dance floor. They laughed and spun as Sully led Abagail to the edge of the dance floor. Abby stood on her tippy-toes, peering over the faces she knew and loved. Robert E and Grace waved hello from the edge of the dance floor, bright smiles on their faces. Her Grandpa blew her a kiss from the stage platform, and Miss Olive was in a serious conversation with the Reverend and hadn't even noticed her yet. Relief washed over her when she saw Matthew dancing with his wife, Ingrid. The rest of the Coopers had to be here somewhere. Suddenly Charlotte put a hand on Sully's back and laughed, giving him a welcoming kiss on the cheek. "Sully! I was wonderin' where you all were!"

"It's just me and Abby tonight, Charlotte."

Charlotte put her hand on his arm, immediately concerned. "Is everything alright?"

Sully smiled easily, jumping past her questions. "It's fine. Just fine. But I do need to get back to Michaela. I was thinkin' that Brian could take Abby home for me?"

Charlotte turned to Abby who was peering into the crowd. "Oh…Oh my… Abby, sweetheart… Brian thought ya didn't want to go to the dance. Maybe there was some misunderstandin'… I—"

Sully grabbed Charlotte's arm and looked her in the eyes, "What are ya trying to say, Charlotte?"

Suddenly Jake's voice rang out loud and true, "Head couple, promenade down the line for the Sweetheart's reel!"

As if Abagail were watching in slow motion, Brian appeared at the head of the line, hand in hand with a girl in a soft blue dress. Her golden hair was in tamed, stylized ringlets, and her eyes were bright blue, and she didn't take her eyes off of Brian. And he didn't take his eyes off of her.

Before Abagail could ask any questions, she ripped away from Sully and Charlotte, picked up her skirts, and ran off down the road. Charlotte looked at Sully apologetically, not knowing what to do, and Sully quickly took after his daughter.

The sudden commotion startled several people on the dance floor, and when Brian turned around, he found his mother's eyes, staring at him in bewilderment.

As Sully crossed the bridge, his eyes scanned the meadow, looking for any sign of Abagail. Finally, in the distance, he saw her raven hair blowing in the wind, wild and curly. She was in the cemetery. And he knew exactly where she was.

He walked slowly through the gate, going to the small stone grave, that bared her mother's name; her name. Abagail sat in front of it, in the patchy grass, her head on her chest as she cried. He put a soft hand on her back, and she suddenly inhaled, forcing her tears back.

"Her name is Sarah Sheehan," Abagail said in a shaky but controlled voice. "She was the smartest girl in school. Her hand was always up first. And she was so good at piano… her ma sent her to this music conservatory in Denver on this special scholarship. I've always admired her. I know Brian has too. She can do all these amazin' things I can't. She's perfect."

Sully sighed, "Nobody's perfect, Abby."

"But some women… are special. Different than others, aren't they?" Abagail closed her eyes and bit her lip, struggling to ask her next question. Softly, she whispered, "When did ya first start lovin' Mama…Michaela?"

Sully pulled back from his daughter, trying to look away, but his eyes stopped on the gravestone in front of him. "Abby…"

She grabbed his hand, not letting him retreat. "I need to understand, Pa. I know… Brian loves me. Sometimes I know what he's thinkin' before he even says it. He'd do anythin' in the world for me. He always has. But if she's the one, am I selfish to keep him for myself? Am I wrong?"

Sully could feel Abagail's gravestone mocking him as he tried to answer the question, "You're courtin', Abby. It's not selfish at all. There are certain expectations that come with that. On both ya parts. It's his duty to stand by ya and—"

Abby shook her head vehemently. "I don't want him to stay with me out of duty or honor! I don't want to live like that! That ain't livin'!"

"No it ain't." Sully took her chin in his hands and forced her to look at him, "But have ya asked him, Abby? Have ya asked him how he feels about this Sarah?"

"What did my mother ask you?" Abagail fired back, "Did she? Did she ask ya, Pa?"

Sully looked away, remembering every breath her frail body had taken when she did. "She asked."

"And what did ya say?"

Sully paused and lifted his face to the Heavens. "I told her I… liked Michaela. She said… share ya world with her, but save ya heart for me."

Abagail watched her father's torn face. She knew he didn't want to talk about it. That he kept it buried. But she had to know. "How long have ya loved her?"

When he met her eyes, Abagail felt as though she had torn his chest open. "Do ya really want me to say?"

Abagail threw her arms around her father's neck, finally understanding him. "It's ok… It's ok… I love her too. I've always loved her… But I carry around this woman's name who I never knew, that I want to know, that I'm never goin' to know. And ya never about talk her. Mama tried to when I was little, but I wouldn't listen. But ya don't say anything about her. I don't know why, but I just need know that you loved her."

Sully sat back and held Abby's hand. His throat was tight with faded memories, but slowly, he began to speak, "Ya know she was sick. But she wasn't sick when we first met. She had a fiery streak in her that I think ya got in abundance. We could sit together and not say a word to each other and it would be alright. She wanted lots of fine things that neither of us could ever afford—but she called the homestead I built for her a castle. "Our castle," she would say. She was always pretendin' and actin'. She loved to put on a show—especially with ya grandpa. And she wanted to be a mother more than anythin'. She couldn't wait to hold ya. She loved us. She loved me more than I deserved."

Sully pushed back a loose curl that had fallen in her eyes. Abagail hugged him again and whispered, "You loved her."

"Yes, Abby. I loved her." He cradled her head and whispered in her ear. "I love you, Abby."

"I love you too, Papa," Abby responded, leaning her head on his shoulder. "She knows, ya know. For some reason… I can feel it."

Suddenly the gate of the cemetery creaked. Abagail's head turned towards the sound, and she swallowed. She didn't want to let go of her father's hand, but she knew he had been right. She had to ask.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 39  Closer

_**1880**_

Brian stepped through the gate of the cemetery, his steps tentative and careful as he broke into the father and daughter's private world. Sully didn't take his eyes off of the young man. He knew Brian well—far beyond simple dinners and family gatherings he had attended with Abby. He was one of the most steadfast and persistent people he had ever met in his life. He watched the young man's eyes, traces of guilt and confusion emanating in waves as he looked at Abby, and Sully hoped against hope that her metaphor was an imperfect one.

Sully and Abby stood up, and she took his hand in hers imploringly. "Pa… I need to talk to Brian for a few minutes."

"Ok," Sully gave her hand a quick squeeze, wishing he could do more, but knowing he had to let go. "I'll wait for ya in the wagon."

"That's ok, Sully," Brian stepped forward, his stance a little taller, "I'll take her home."

Abby scoffed and turned around, her hands tight fists over her hips. Sully raised his eyebrows and looked at Brian. "Ya sure about that, son?"

Brian nodded defiantly, his focus narrowing on Abagail. "I'm sure."

Sully kissed Abby on the cheek, hoping to defuse some of the anger burning in her eyes. To no avail.

Neither Abby nor Brian spoke until Sully was out of earshot, and even then, words were difficult to find. Finally, Abby attempted indifference, crossing her arms tightly over her chest in fists. "Well, who's goin' to take Sarah home if you're busy playin' driver for me?"

Brian sighed and looked down. "Sarah understands. She's goin' home with her family."

Abby bit the inside of her cheek, finding it a bitter taste. "Of course she understands. Sarah's a very understanding and caring individual."

"Are ya jealous?" Brian reached out and grabbed her fist.

Abby tightened it. "Do ya want me to me jealous?"

Brian ran his thumb over her fingers. "No, of course not, but I want ya to stop hidin' and feel something'."

Abby stepped back, pulling away from his touch. "You're the one dancin' with somebody else!"

Brian's hands fell down to his side. "You said no, Abby! You keep saying no. What was I suppose to do?"

Abby rubbed her forehead, confusion suffocating her. "I know. I'm not… I'm not mad about that. But I saw how you were lookin' at her. How she was lookin' at you. I'm not blind, Brian."

Brian put his hands on her shoulders and forced her to turn around. "Then how come ya can't see me standin' here? I am here for you—I have always been here for you. I don't know what I can say to convince ya that I'm not goin' anywhere. 'I love you's' not enough, is it?"

A gust of wind blew straight through them, and she looked to her side, avoid his gaze. Her eyes landed on her mother's name, sending an icy chill down her spine. "This is my mother's grave… Did ya know that?"

Brian nodded, following her gaze. "I think so. It's strange to think that someone besides Dr. Mike is your ma."

Abby smiled sadly, closing her eyes at his words. "I don't want to be first only to find out I was second best, Brian."

Brian narrowed his eyes at her, not making the connection. "I don't believe this. It's just another excuse for you, isn't it?"

She opened her eyes, stepping backwards slowly. "What are you talkin' about?"

Brian followed her, not letting her create any space between them. "You will do anythin' to put distance between us. Say anything, dream up anything! We are not your parents, Abby! The only people that matter here are you and me. Nobody else. But if ya can't see that, then I guess I have been wastin' my time all these years. And maybe… maybe you're right."

Abby stopped moving and shook her head, now confused. "What are ya sayin'?"

Brian took a deep breath and said with quiet certainty, "Unless you give me a reason to stay, then I don't think we should see each other anymore."

Abagail swallowed and felt the chill of the night run down her spine as Brian waited for an answer. She couldn't move her mouth as her thoughts battled their way to the tip of her tongue. Time passed between them, and the air seemed to stale as she didn't move or speak. Finally, Brian sighed and backed away, dropping his hands to his sides. As she watched him walk away from her, she felt the weight drop from her body, and she could feel her ligaments snapping as he gave up. Suddenly, all thoughts were gone, and nothing held her back.

"Wait!" Abby burst forward, reaching for his hand. "Wait. I—I…"

Brian stopped, but didn't turn around. "You what, Abby?"

"I… don't want you to go," she whispered almost inaudibly.

He looked over his shoulder and asked again. "Why?"

"Because…" Abby looked at their joined hands, and saw how they simply fit together without annoying questions like these, "well, you know why."

"You can't say it, can ya?" Brian began to take his hands back, but Abby quickly grasped his hands in hers, and pulled him against her, desperately searching for and finding his lips. He was right. She knew he was right. She couldn't say it.

But she could show him.

"But I'm not sleepy, Mama!" Stephen protested as they ascended the stairs together.

"Yes, you are," Michaela sighed. Stephen was always a handful at bedtime, but without Sully there, she knew it was going to be a very long night.

"Katie and No Harm get to stay up!" Stephen halted, planting himself on the second to last step. "Why can't I?"

"You're just not old enough yet, Boo. Besides we've got work tomorrow, remember?" Michaela held her hand out again, and Stephen gingerly took it with a defeated, but accepting sigh.

As they approached his bedroom door, Stephen scooted closer to Michaela's leg and held tighter to her hand. "I-I can't go in there, Mama."

"Why not?" Michaela whispered back, wondering what it was going to be tonight.

"There're lions under my bed." Michaela looked at her son's all too serious, wide-eyed expression. He was so exasperating, but he was the light of her life. She racked her brain, thinking of some of Sully's tactics to get Stephen in bed.

"Well Boo, why don't we scare them away?" She watched her son's eyes as he contemplated the proposition, and she wondered if the idea would stick.

"Oh no, Mama. The lions are asleep. They wouldn't hear me." Michaela closed her eyes, trying not to laugh. She knew she shouldn't let him have his way, but the thought of being alone right now…

"Well, what if you fall asleep in Mama and Papa's bed? I'm pretty sure there aren't any wild mountain lions under our bed." Stephen grinned triumphantly and ran down the hallway ahead of her. By the time Michaela got there, Stephen had already stripped down to his long-johns and was happily curled up on Sully's side of the bed.

Michaela pulled the covers up around his chin and sat down beside him. He was wide awake and full of questions. He reached over to her beside table and dug through her medical bag, grabbing her stethoscope. He quickly stuck the earpieces in his ears and began to listen to her heart with a concentrated brow.

"It's beatin' fast, Mama!" Stephen's eyes widened. "Are ya scared?"

Michaela laughed nervously and quickly took the stethoscope out of his ears. "I thought you were going to go to sleep?"

Stephen huffed and curled to his side, his question forgotten as another one came to his head. "When do I get to do a… um… sur…sur…?"

"A surgery?" Michaela smiled and took his small hands in hers.

"Yeah! When do I get to do one of those with ya?"

Michaela could remember having the same impatience when she was Stephen's age. And she would give him the same answer her father gave her, "Not until you're much older."

"I can't do anythin'. I'm tired of bein' a kid."

"Oh Boo… You don't want to grow up too fast. I want you to be as happy and as wonderful as you are right this second every day for the rest of your life." Stephen contemplated his mother, wondering if what she said was true.

"Will you sing me our song?" Michaela sighed, leaning over his chest.

"Without your sisters? You know I've been singing that song to Abby since she was a little baby."

"Well, if we all had the same bedtime…" Stephen suggested as his bottom lip came out a little bit.

"Ok Boo. You certainly aren't getting any older tonight." Stephen quickly clamped his mouth shut and waited in anticipation. Michaela and Stephen locked eyes, and as she sang, he began to drift into the comfort only a mother could give.

_Slumber, my darling, thy mother is near,  
Guarding thy dreams from all terror and fear,  
Sunlight has pass'd and the twilight has gone,  
Slumber, my darling, the night's coming on.  
Sweet visions attend thy sleep,  
Fondest, dearest to me,  
While others their revels keep,  
I will watch over thee. _

"Her eyes, Lina," Stephen looked up from the constant, droning stare he had being entranced in for the past two hours. "She believed it. She trusted it." __

Slumber, my darling, the birds are at rest,  
The wandering dews by the flow'rs are caressed,  
Slumber, my darling, I'll wrap thee up warm,  
And pray that the angels will shield thee from harm.  


"If I had been older, if I known more…" Stephen ran his fingers through his hair, his frustration and sadness turning into harsh, sardonic laughter. "If they didn't fall in love…"

_  
Slumber, my darling, till morn's blushing ray  
Brings to the world the glad tidings of day;  
Fill the dark void with thy dreamy delight--  
Slumber, thy mother will guard thee tonight,  
Thy pillow shall sacred be  
From all outward alarms;  
Thou, thou are the world to me  
In thine innocent charms. _

"But how can you ask that of _people_, right?" Stephen whispered as Lina reached across the table, placing her hand over his. __

Slumber, my darling, the birds are at rest,  
The wandering dews by the flow'rs are caressed,  
Slumber, my darling, I'll wrap thee up warm,  
And pray that the angels will shield thee from harm.

"Michaela." She jumped from her slumber when she heard her name, and she looked up to see Sully kneeling down beside the bed.

"You're back," she whispered, when she felt the warm body of Stephen beside her. "I guess we fell asleep waiting. Is everything alright?"

Sully met her eyes, not sure what to tell her of the conversation with Abby or anything else for that matter. "Let me put Stephen in his room. I'll be right back."

Michaela got out of the bed and began to take the pins out of her hair as she waited for Sully. She opened the door and walked towards the top of the stairs. She could hear the low whispers of No Harm and Katie. Despite what she knew, she smiled.

She felt Sully's touch as her hair cascaded around her back. "When I came home, Katie was teachin' him how to play checkers. I think we can trust 'em."

"I think so too. He respects her a great deal." Michaela and Sully froze for a moment, as they felt their questions being voiced without words.

Sully took her hand in his, running his fingers over the base of her fingers, holding tight when he found the solid, shiny wedding band next to the weathered engagement ring. "Ya know I do."

Michaela nodded slowly. "It's just when I see them—"

"I know. It was different for us. But we're ok, right?" Michaela touched his cheek and nodded once.

"Let's go to bed." They walked into the lamp lit room, and as Michaela disrobed, Sully subtly checked the lamp to make sure there was enough oil to last the entire night. The nightmares would come and go, but her fear of darkness had never ceased.

"Did Abby find Brian alright?" Michaela asked as she crawled under the covers and slid halfway across the bed to his side.

Sully sighed as he peeled his shirt off and sat on the edge of the bed. "He was dancin' with another girl when we got there."

"What? Brian?"

"Abby tore off. So I stayed…and we talked about things." Sully turned his head and swallowed. "She wanted to know about her mother. About me, you, and Abagail."

Michaela watched the sinews move in Sully's back as she pulled the covers closer to her body. "What did you tell her?"

Sully bent over, taking off his boots. "The truth."

"Did she understand?" Michaela ran her hand across the down pillow.

Sully sat back up, his back tight and alive. "I think so. I'm not sure. I'm not sure we understand it sometimes."

"I know… As I was sitting with Katie and No Harm… I was suddenly filled with indescribable longing. It was like before." Her hand stretched across the pillow, almost reaching him.

Sully reached behind him, placing his hand over hers. "Ya know I'm here."

"Come closer to me." Slowly, Sully stretched out opposite her, sliding his hand over her thin cotton nightgown. He pulled her firmly against his chest, slowly knotting the flimsy fabric in his fist behind her back. Michaela inhaled sharply as her gown suddenly pooled up around her waist. She grinned wryly at him, despite the blush that still managed to creep into her cheeks, and as he came closer to take her lips, her hand deftly flew up to cover his mouth. "What if Stephen wakes up?"

"We won't make a sound. Just come closer." Michaela slid her arms around his back and fell into his open chest like a safe, sensual cocoon. Inside of him, she could break. She could fall apart. Inside of him, they wrestled her demons together, things they didn't know how to voice, but knew had such meaning, such terrible meaning. They didn't know. They hadn't known. They could only feel for salvation somehow together.

"I win again!" Katie tried not to laugh as No Harm frowned at the checker board in front of him.

"The Spirits are playing tricks on me today." He leaned heavily on the table, hiding his grin from her.

The firelight crackled around them, and Katie could see the light in his dark eyes. "Do not worry. You will learn."

"Tonight has been good. With your family. With you."

"It has. So…" She picked up a red checker and twirled it around her fingers as she played with hope, "You will stay? You will let us protect you?"

No Harm took a black checker and stacked it on top of a red checker. He watched her through glances. "I want to be with you. For you, I will stay."

"Good. I was hoping you would say that." She exhaled and placed a red checker over his black checker.

No Harm picked up a black checker, holding it tightly in his fist. "But you should know… It will never be safe for you to be with me. If the day ever comes when I am putting your life in danger, I will leave. Do you understand?"

Katie added another checker to their stack, avoiding his eyes. "I-I understand."

"Katie… Look at me… The Major who beat me in Wyoming... he was also at the Washita. His name is Joel Elliot. Do you remember him?" Katie dropped the red checker she was holding in her hand. Her eyes flashed to No Harm's.

"Yes," Katie paused for a moment, considering everything he was saying, and then exhaled, her eyes steely, "I will not let him hurt you again."

No Harm smiled softly at her complete fierceness, finding his hand drifting across the checker board to her face. "Hahoo," he whispered.

Katie swallowed as she felt the warmth from his hand and the darkness radiate from his eyes. She covered his hand with her own, and slowly felt the room grow smaller as he came closer. The feel of his lips from this afternoon came tumbling back to her, and she suddenly wondered if she had done it right, if he had liked it as much as she had, if he had forgotten the eyes of everyone around them like she had—"What about my parents!" she panicked as she pulled away from him, creating a safe space between them. "What if they come downstairs?"

Brian gave in for a moment, but it wasn't kisses he was searching for. Finding strength, he pushed away from her and began backing away furiously. "That's not what I want, Abagail!"

Standing there dumbfounded and lost, Abagail could hardly speak or move as Brian walked away from her. Before she knew what happened, he was gone. And without warning, her entire body collapsed beneath her. The grass and the dirt curled into her fingernails. The night winds screamed around her and she found herself looking up to the cold, stone grave where her mother rested.

"What would I have called you, Mother?" She cried, "Can ya tell me? Because I don't know. Can ya tell me why I can't tell him? Because I love him so much, Mother… I don't think I can live without him."

As Abagail fell on top of the soft mound, a quiet voice could barely be heard over the roaring wind, "I can't live without ya either."

Abagail's sobs came to an abrupt halt as her back stiffened and her awareness of another human being became all too acute. She closed her eyes, turning around as slowly as she could.

Brian was standing there with the most ridiculous grin on his face she had ever seen. "Wipe that grin off your face right this second, Brian Cooper! You're a no good sneak!"

Brian only smiled wider at that. "Can't do that. Abagail Sully loves me."

Abby pushed off of the ground and quickly pushed her hands on her hips. "Will ya shut up! Who cares if I love ya?"

"Well, I don't know. Let's see." Brian ran to the fence and climbed on top of it.

"What the hell are you doin'?" Abby ran after him as he leaned back and began to bellow towards the town.

"HEY COLORADO SPRINGS! BRIAN COOPER LOVES ABAGAIL SULLY, AND ABAGAIL SULLY LOVES BRIAN COOPER RIGHT BACK! IN FACT, HE'S EVEN GONNA ASK HER TO MARRY HIM!"

"Are ya crazy, Brian?" Abby screamed as she grabbed Brian's coat as she tried to pull him off the fence.

Brian fell off the fence, stumbling backwards as his hat fell to the ground. "Maybe. Ya have to be the most stubborn girl I've ever met in my life."

"You have completely lost your mind. I am goin' home!"

"Fine. But I'm takin' ya." Brian tried taking Abby's arm, but she jerked away from him self-righteously.

"I don't ride in wagons with sneaks!"

Charlotte watched skeptically as Brian jumped in the wagon and raced out of town behind a swiftly paced Abby. She noticed Mr. Bray contemplating the same scenario, and she quickly made a beeline across the dance floor to him. "What do you suppose is goin' on with my son and your granddaughter, Mr. Bray?"

Loren shook his head, truly bewildered. "Well, from all the ruckus Brian was causin', I say it's pretty much neck and neck so far. Although I wouldn't put anythin' past my Abby."

Charlotte chuckled when she saw that Brian had finally caught up to Abby at the far end of the meadow. "I just hope it's a weddin' we have to plan and not a funeral."

No Harm smiled shyly, his eyes full of secrets. "I understand. But they call you Lightening Woman, do they not?"

"They do."

"So we could steal a kiss, and they would never know." Katie bit her lip, hiding her excitement and temptation at his seemingly scandalous suggestion. She turned slowly towards the stairs, and when she didn't hear anything, she looked at No Harm and released her lips.

No Harm grinned and quickly leaned across the checker board. Katie could feel his breath against her skin, and she closed her eyes, inhaling in the moment. The moment was sweet, but just as their lips were about to touch, the loud banging of the front door sent them flying apart, and the checkers scattered all over the floor as they both jumped up to their feet.

"Go away, Brian!" Abagail spun into the kitchen, her curly hair wild and her pink dress splattered with mud.

"I'm not goin' anywhere until ya get your head out of the mud and say yes!" Brian screamed from outside the house.

Katie frowned, her wits gathered again, and asked, "Say yes to what?"

"He asked me to marry him!" Abby spun around, the picture of a Greek tragedy.

"Oh! That is wonderful, Abby!" Abby moaned and fled to the stairs, charging them two at a time. Katie turned to No Harm apologetically. "I should go after her…"

"Do not worry. You know how to make things simple and right." Katie stopped and exhaled. Like a flash, she pressed her lips against his lips before he had a chance to return the kiss.

"Hahoo," she whispered, and with that, she was half-way up the stairs.

No Harm leaned against the front door of the homestead as he let the cold air sweep over his body. He was wide awake, and he didn't know how he would be able to sleep after spending the evening with Katie. But his attention quickly went to the impatient young man, who was pacing back and forth in front of the front steps. No Harm looked back inside and then observed the poor, distressed fellow.

"Does she love you?"

Brian stopped in mid-stride and looked at the stranger. He didn't think to ask who he was, because the question was so bare, so to the point. "She does."

"Then you must woo her. Do not dig yourself into a hole by pacing up and down in the dirt all night."

"What should I do?" No Harm grinned and walked down the stairs.

"I will show you."

Katie found Abby lying across their bed in a heap. Just like when they were little girls, Katie nestled beside her sister and wrapped her arms around her. "I thought you loved him, Abby."

"I do," Abby sniffled.

"Then why don't you want to marry him?"

"That's just it. I want to marry him. I want everything with him. It's what I don't know that terrifies me."

"So you are willing to give up your happiness for the unknown, instead of taking it with what you know for certain?"

"I—" All of a sudden, the distinct clank of a rock hit the girls' window, and Abby and Katie immediately jumped to their feet. Katie pushed the window open just in time to hear the distinct sounds of No Harm's flute and Brian's harmonica playing _Beautiful Dreamer_ together.

"Do you hear that?" Michaela whispered as the chords of music broke through their heated silence.

Sully chuckled as they rolled over, finding their own space again. "It sounds like Abby made it home safely."

Michaela grabbed her crumpled grown and slipped it over her head, curiosity overcoming her as the music swelled and Katie's laughter magnified down the hall. "Michaela…"

"What?"

"They need their privacy too." Michaela instantaneously rolled her eyes at Sully in the lamplight.

"Not when a concert is going on outside of my house!" She quickly made her way to the window and peeked outside.

When the last chords of _Beautiful Dreamer_ faded, Katie clapped profusely while Abby stayed back in the shadows. Brian looked at No Harm skeptically, but he nodded confidently, and pushed Brian forward.

"Abby?" Brian called, "Can ya hear me?"

Katie looked at Abby, and Abby nodded silently. Katie called back, "She can hear you!"

"I know things haven't always been easy for ya. I know you're scared. But we love each other, and that should be enough to get us through anythin'." Slowly, Brian lowered down to one knee.

"Sully!"

"What? Ya havin' fun spyin'?" Sully moaned sleepily at her, amusement clear in his voice.

"Get out of bed right now! I think he's proposing!" Before Michaela could finish her next thought, Sully's chest was against her back, and she could feel his heartbeat racing.

"Which one?" He asked quickly.

"Brian," Michaela whispered as she slowly found his hand.

"I promise ya, Abby, I will love you till the day I die, if ya just give me the chance. Just let go, sweetheart, and marry me," Brian finished looked up to the dark window, where he only saw a sympathetic Katie looking back at him.

Katie turned to Abby and took her hand. Her sister was shaking. "It's ok, Abby. You can let go. I'll always be there to catch you."

"Promise?" Abby took Katie's hands in both of hers.

"I promise." Katie squeezed Abby's hands, sealing their pact. "Be happy, hemeho."

"Abby?" Brian called again, anxiety plaguing his face.

Katie came back into the window. "She's gone, Brian."

No Harm looked puzzled as Brian's face fell, and he silently put a comforting hand on Brian's shoulder.

"Oh no," Michaela gasped, putting her hand over her mouth.

But suddenly, their heads jerked as they heard the sound of thunder rolling down the staircase.

Brian stood up slowly and walked around to the front of the house. His heart was heavy as he turned to his wagon, but the door flew open, and silence no longer existed. Abagail ran out of the house, as if on angel's wings, and rushed into his arms. "Yes!" she said only once, but it was enough. It was enough for a lifetime.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 40  "Go"

_**1893**_

"Oh," Lina pulled her hand away from Stephen's abruptly, fast tears coming to her eyes. As she stood, she spun around, masking her emotion as quickly as she could. But Stephen had learned to read backs and hidden faces. He stood, following her.

"I've upset you."

"No, no. I just… I didn't have a family like that when I was growing up. You were lucky."

Stephen smiled for the memories. "I know."

Lina looked around the towering columns of books, all dreams and fantasies to her. "I can't imagine loving someone my entire life like Abagail and Brian. Or simply knowing like Katie and No Harm. And your parents… I don't have the words. Have you ever been touched like that?"

Stephen looked at the mountain of books scattered across his table. He picked up one of them and fumbled through the pages. "Finding love has fallen to the wayside of my research and work. When I was younger, I spent all my time studyin' so I could go to college sooner, get my medical degree faster. I have another year before I begin my residency. But still… It's not fast enough. Ya see, the truth is, I'm useless." He threw the book back into the pile, its pages flying everywhere.

Lina shook her head, tracing the end of their mahogany table. "You're not useless. Even if you can't help who you want, you might help someone else someday."

Stephen watched the pattern she made with her small, delicate hands. "Like you?"

She stopped moving and nodded self-consciously, "Yes. You've help me tonight."

Stephen placed his hand over hers briefly. "I hope love finds you one day, Lina March."

"That's a beautiful dream, but no one will ever love me." When he released her hand, she turned her back to him, and began meandering about the room. He followed from a distance, sensing her need for isolation.

"Why not?" He asked, standing on the opposite side of a table than her.

Lina studied him carefully for a moment. No one had ever asked her such personal questions. No one had ever cared to. She only knew the strange stares of cold nurses and hurried doctors. But Stephen didn't look like those doctors. There was compassion in his eyes. She looked down, a nervous laugh filling her words, "You have more patience than I think you realize…_Boo_."

He closed his eyes as he heard his childhood nickname, remembering the last time he had heard it. He shook his head, feeling the pain just as acutely as when he was ten years old. "Immunity, I suppose. You spend most of your life waiting. You either drown in it, or you learn how to float standing."

Lina began to circle another table, moving farther away from him. "It's the same with hiding. You learn how to breathe an inch out of water hoping no one will see you kicking to stay alive."

Stephen followed her, moving closer. "And if they see you?"

Lina laughed sadly, continuing her walk. "They'll pretend they had never stopped to notice."

"I wouldn't." Lina stopped and stared at him, watching as he followed her to the table beside the doorway.

"Then you are one among thousands." Slowly, Lina lifted her hands to the high neck of her dress. She didn't take her eyes away from Stephen as she began to unbutton the tight choke hold of the black collar. The iridescent skin of her face faded away as she opened the front part of her blouse, revealing charred, reddened skin, that didn't match the rest of her body. She forced herself to hold her blouse open as Stephen looked at her damaged flesh.

Stephen met Lina's eyes, gauging her. As soon as they locked eyes, Lina quickly covered herself, pulling the collar tight again. Stephen stepped closer to her and without hesitation, he reached out and lifted her chin. "It's scar tissue, isn't it?"

"I was born ill…a sick child…and now this…" Stephen nodded, a stark silence falling between them. "If this is too much, you should go."

**_Colorado Springs— November 5, 1883 _**

Abby cursed the Indian summer as she made her way to the clinic. She was uncomfortable, moody, and her feet… her feet were so swollen she couldn't even wear boots anymore. She needed Michaela now.

As she pushed then door open, she was greeted by her mother and Stephen, who were busy cleaning the medical instruments together.

"Hiya Abby!" Stephen looked up, dangling a tongue suppressor over a bowl of carbolic acid. But when he saw the expression on Abagail's face, he immediately dropped the instrument back in the bowl. "Geez, you look awful, Abs!"

Abby glared at Stephen, not knowing whether to laugh or cry at his bluntness. "If I didn't love you…"

"Alright you two!" Michaela finished washing and drying her hands and quickly held out her arms for Abagail. Abagail's shoulders collapsed, and she gratefully met her mother halfway across the room. Abagail dropped her head on Michaela's shoulder and broke into a fit of sobs. Michaela smiled indulgently and rocked her gently as Stephen watched her convulsing back with a shocked expression. "It's alright. I'm here! You just let it all out. It's not much longer, Miss Sully."

"I don't want to do this anymore!" Abagail moaned.

"Believe me, I understand. Do you remember when I was pregnant with Boo?" Abagail's tears suddenly turned into uncontrollable laughter as she and Michaela met eyes with vivid memories.

Abby wiped her eyes and looked at Stephen through the corner of her eye. "And just look what ya got for all that misery."

"What!" Stephen looked at both of them, not understanding the joke at all. As they laughed, he huffed into the next room, muttering to himself, "_Women_!"

When Stephen was gone, Abagail turned back to Michaela and took her hands. "I suppose I just miss Brian. I know it's selfish, but I almost wish he wasn't doin' so well so he could be home with me right now."

Michaela nodded, squeezing her hands. "But he'll be back soon. You know… sometimes, as a woman, you have to find strength from places deep within yourself that you didn't even know existed."

Abagail sighed and looked in Michaela's eyes admiringly, "You have, haven't ya? How do ya do it?"

Michaela led her over to her desk and helped her sit down in her chair, wrapping her arms around Abby from behind. "I think about you. And your brother and sister. And your father… My family is my strength."

"And you're mine… You'll be with me every minute, right?" Abagail held on to Michaela's arms.

"Every minute. Just like you were there with me. Just like we promised."

Suddenly, the front door opened and Sully came in, carrying a passel of furs and skins over his shoulder. Immediately sensing the emotional mood in the room, he dropped the skins at the door and quickly moved to his very pregnant daughter and wife.

"Ya ok? Is the baby ok?"

Abagail waved off any alarm. "Oh, I'm fine, Pa. I'm just tired. What happened to Katie and No Harm?"

"They weren't ready to come home yet. No Harm's takin' Katie on a picnic by the creek."

"Just hold on to me," No Harm instructed as they backed up, ankle deep in the cool currents far beyond their said destination.

Katie held on to his upper arms as her feet sank in the gritty mud and slid between smooth rocks and stones. Finally, they stopped in the center of the vast stream, and Katie shook her head, not understanding. "Why did you bring me here?"

"Listen. Do you hear that?" Katie pulled close to him, her senses attune for anything around her. Suddenly, she looked directly in his eyes as she heard the pounding of the earth below them.

"It's like wild horses."

"It's a waterfall." He leaned forward and whispered, "I have a secret."

Katie raised her eyebrows. "A secret… Are you going to share?"

"Perhaps."

"Perhaps? Perhaps! What do you mean _perhaps_!" Katie's hands ran from his biceps to his wrists, locking his arms behind his back easily, as No Harm didn't put up much of a fight when her body pressed firmly against his.

No Harm shook his head, an adoring smile spreading across his face. "You can't wait for anything, can you, Ho'otseoo'e?"

"Yes, I can. I waited for you, didn't I?" Before No Harm had a chance to reply, Katie leaned forward and pressed her lips softly against his. Their fingers linked behind No Harm's back as he deepened the kiss, and for a moment Katie almost forgot that he had a secret.

But not for long. Just as No Harm's body relaxed fully into hers, she gripped both of his hands and linked her foot around his ankle. Without warning, she pushed him back in the rushing water. Unfortunately for Katie, No Harm gripped her hands and took her down with him.

They both coughed and choked on the water, which eventually turned into chilled laughter as Katie pushed down on his shoulders, hovering over him in the most predatory way. "Tell me! Tell me what it is!"

As she attempted to tickle him, No Harm finally stilled her, reversing her hold and gripping her hands behind her back. Their cheeks rose with color as they wrestled for control, but No Harm finally took it, pulling Katie close in his lap. They breathed heavily as they stilled, and No Harm's expression grew electric as he reached out and caressed her face.

"What is it?" Katie whispered, her teeth chattering to block the cold.

No Harm shook his head, mystified by it all. "I love you. And—"

Katie shook her head, a shy but knowing light filling her face. She bit her lip and leaned closer. She lowered her eyes as her forehead touched his. "You are not very good at keeping secrets."

Slowly, slower than she had ever moved in her life, Katie opened her mouth completely to him, and the cold was soon replaced by their mutual warmth, as he held her close, lifting her into his arms and taking her back towards the solid support of the earth.

"So we'll see you two at home for dinner?" Sully asked as he was halfway out the door.

"Of course," Michaela answered, planting a simple kiss on his cheek. "Go on. Abby could use some time with her pa right now."

"I love you," he whispered, planting a full kiss on her lips.

Michaela shook her head amusedly, releasing him. "I love you too. Now go or you'll never leave."

Sully narrowed his eyes at her, and before she could protest, he grabbed her lips once more before escaping out the door. Michaela turned around, shaking her head and catching the absorbing eyes of her son.

"Papa sure does like kissin' ya."

"You'll like kissing one day too, Boo." Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and Stephen began to laugh.

"I bet it's Papa comin' to get one more kiss!"

"Oh you do, huh?" Michaela laughed at him as she opened the door. But Stephen's face dropped, and she quickly turned around to see a decorated officer with a hard expression on his face. Michaela collected herself and asked politely, "May I help you, sir?"

"Yes m'am. Are you Dr. Quinn?"

"Yes, I am."

He took two steps into the clinic, standing close to Michaela, taking over her space. "My name is Major Joel Elliot, and I understand that you and Byron Sully and your daughter Katie spent several years living with the Cheyenne Indians at the Colorado Springs reservation."

Michaela backed up. Stephen, immediately sensing her tension, came to her and stood beside her protectively. "Yes sir, we did. But that was nearly eighteen…nineteen years ago."

The Major's eyes roamed over her, as if he could see straight through her. "I see. You left your daughter there, didn't you, when you went to jail from December 1, 1864 to September 30, 1873?"

Michaela swallowed and planted her feet firmly on the hard wood floor. "Excuse me? How do you know so much about our life?"

The Major coughed and smiled tersely. "Perhaps I should make myself clearer. I am investigating the whereabouts of a fugitive Indian that goes by the name No Harm Comes To Him. From what we have gathered, he has come back to Colorado Springs. Have you seen him or had any association with him, Dr. Quinn?"

"No, I have not, Major."

"Are you sure?" Michaela kept her focus with the harsh eyes of the Major, and when she did not break, he quickly moved to Stephen, shocking the little boy with his sharp-tongued question, "What about you, young man?"

"No, sir. I ain't seen No Harm," Stephen copied his mother as best he could.

The Major stared long and hard at the boy. As he kept his eyes on Stephen, he asked Michaela, "Can you tell me where your daughter is right now, Dr. Quinn?"

"She went home with her father," Michaela answered evenly.

"Then you won't mind what if we make a trip out to your homestead this evening, will you, Dr. Quinn?" Major Elliot grinned slowly as he waited for Michaela's answer.

Michaela mirrored his smile, knowing darkness could never see darkness. "No. Of course not. Just let me get my things together, and we'll go."

Katie and No Harm tumbled into the grassy bank, finding warmth in each other's arms as he showered kiss after kiss upon her incandescent face. They had felt passion for each other, but they had never experienced it like this. The air was thick, and their bodies were heavy in it as it became difficult to breathe. When No Harm felt her gasp in his mouth, he quickly lifted his face above hers, worry overwhelming him. "Are you alright?"

Katie nodded slowly, but then lowered her eyes, shaking her head. "I-I do not know what we are doing."

He pushed back her matted hair, locking his arms around her face like a crown. "If I knew, I would tell you."

"It just feels…" She sighed, placing her hand over his hand, unable to finish her thoughts.

"I don't want to move from here. I don't want to go anywhere," he exhaled, his heartbeat so strong he could hardly hear anything else.

"Exactly."

"Maybe I should speak to your father about this," he said decisively.

"What? You cannot tell Papa that w-we—we—" Katie stuttered, suddenly alarmed by No Harm's idea of a romantic notion.

No Harm frowned, his logic his own. "Of course not. I just want to ask permission, that is all."

"Permission for what?" Katie asked, too caught up in the moment to catch his meaning.

"To marry you. What else?"

"Oh. Well…" Katie sat up quickly, her face turning a thousand shades of red as modesty and embarrassment ran the length of her body. She sat up quickly and folded her hands in her lap primly. "Shouldn't you _ask me_ first, No Harm?"

He pulled up beside her and leaned his head on her shoulder. He whispered, "I was going to, but you thought you knew all my secrets."

Suddenly, Katie turned and jumped back in his lap. "Where? When? How? Will we have two weddings like my parents?"

No Harm shook his head at the speed of her questions. "I thought you wanted me to ask you first?"

Katie paused. "I do."

No Harm dropped his head, defeated. "I cannot follow you."

"Then we are even." Katie leaned forward, touching his forehead. "Ask me, and I will say yes."

No Harm pulled her close, letting his lips hover just above hers. He traced her lips with his own, and he whispered into her mouth three times, "Tsevestoemose? Tsevestoemose? Tsevestoemose?"

Before she closed her mouth over his, she whispered only once, "Tsevestoemose."

"Thanks for letting me stay over tonight, Pa," Abagail looped her arm through his as they made their way up the homestead steps. "My place is just a little lonesome right now while Brian's away."

"Ya know you're always welcome, Abby." Sully pushed the front door open and led her inside. "Have ya heard from Brian lately?"

Abby nodded quickly, a bright smile spreading across her face. Too bright. "Sure. He sends me a telegram everyday."

Sully met Abagail's eyes, not saying a word. Over time, her smile descended and she turned away from him, sitting in the white arm chair. "Please don't look at me like that, Pa."

Sully sighed and sat on the ottoman in front of her. He took both of her hands in his. "If ya want him to come home, Abby, then ya should tell him."

Abby shook her head, certainty on her face. "I can't do that, Pa. The articles that he's publishing in the Colorado Magazine are too important. He's gettin' the facts straight. I'll never forget the look on Mama's face when he wrote the piece on Chivington. We don't just know now, Pa—the whole world knows."

Sully nodded, taking in her resilient disposition. "He's a good man, Abby. I just don't want you to suffer for it."

"I'm fine, Pa. Honest, I am." Abagail's eyes suddenly widened with wonderment as she placed her hand over her round belly. She giggled once and looked in her father's eyes as tears suddenly sprung to them.

"What is it?" Sully asked, as her face seemed to play through a mirage of emotions.

_**4**_

She placed his hand over the swell, and their eyes met. "Can you feel that?" she whispered. "Can you feel that?"

Sully met his daughter's eyes and nodded, surprised laughter escaping his lips. "She sure is kickin' away."

"She?" Abagail questioned, her lips curling in amusement. "How do ya know?"

Sully looked down, taking his hand away from her belly. He shrugged as he moved towards the fire, tending to it. "Because your mother looked exactly like you do when she was carryin' ya."

"Oh," Abagail whispered, wrapping her arms around her stomach protectively. Silence fell between them as Sully added another log to the fire. Once he was done, he turned back around, taking a deep breath. Abagail smiled, giving him full permission to change the subject.

Sully clapped his hands and leaned against the mantle. "So Miss Sully, have ya thought about any names yet?"

"Brian and I haven't had a chance to discuss it yet. Another story, and so on. Ya know how distractions are."

"Yeah, I do. Your mother and I didn't…" Sully stopped, realizing his slip again. "I'm sorry, Abby—"

Abby shook her head, fortifying herself as her hand made small circles around her baby. "No. It's alright, Pa. You can tell me."

"Well, we didn't talk about a name for ya. Abagail always said… She always said that when she saw ya, she would know your name. So we didn't plan anythin'. And then she was gone so fast. And I was so lost. And you would have been lost if Michaela hadn't loved ya enough for both of us. She came and found me, asked me for your name, but I couldn't say what was in my heart. So she gave ya what was in hers."

Abagail nodded, so many questions still resounding in her mind. But she only asked one tonight, "Can you tell me now, Pa? You don't have to hide your heart from me."

"Hanna. She's the goddess of life." Abagail's lips wavered as she listened to his low, faraway voice whisper the name reverently, affectionately.

"Hanna… It's a beautiful name. I would have loved it." Abagail stood slowly from the chair and walked across the room to her father. She put her hand over his and whispered, "If this baby is a girl, I would like to call her that, if ya don't mind."

Sully nodded, lost for words, as he pulled his daughter into his arms. Yet somehow, he felt a release, as he finally let the secrets of his heart go.

The front door flew open and Stephen came running in, his sea eyes swimming as he found his father and sister. His eyes locked on Abagail's, and he quickly ran to her, wrapping his arms around waist, completely overly affection. "_Katie_!" he exclaimed, lifting his face to meet her eyes. "An officer wants to talk to ya, Katie… about an Indian named No Harm."

Abby frowned, completely thrown off guard until Major Elliot and Michaela entered the house with two armed officers following them. Sully wrapped a protective arm around Abby as the Major walked quickly across the room, looking directly in Abby's eyes.

He glared at her and said Katie's name with harsh uncertainty as he looked at Abby, "Katherine Sully?"

"Yes," Abby said, lowering her lashes as she felt the deep scrutiny of the officer. If this man knew Katie at all, they had no chance. She and Katie looked almost nothing alike, except for their fair complexions.

"Do you know who I am?" He asked, an old growl in his voice.

Abagail exhaled, knowing that he wouldn't ask her if they had seen each other recently. "No sir."

The Major bellowed, "No sir? Looks like you acquired some manners after living with those savages."

Abagail's dark eyes flashed and her head popped up, "They aren't savages, you—"

"Who are you and what do you want?" Sully cut Abagail off, pressing his fingers tightly into her shoulder.

Major Elliot smirked, ignoring Sully's first question. "I am looking for No Harm. Do you know where he is?"

Abagail looked at her mother, but Michaela remained stoic, merely holding a steady gaze with her. Abby looked back to the Major, and said clearly, "I haven't seen him since I was a little girl."

The Major observed her, and soon his gaze when down to her protruding abdomen. He frowned, moving closer to her. "You're pregnant."

Abagail tried to control her breathing as she answered shortly, "Yes."

In a slow, disgusting drawl, the Major asked, "Who's the father?"

Abagail glared at the officer, growing angrier by the second. She held up her hand, showing him her gold wedding ban. "My husband."

Before Abagail could retract her hand, the Major grabbed it in a hard lock. Sully quickly pulled out his tomahawk, but Major Elliot already had his gun pulled on Abagail. "I will not hesitate to shoot your daughter, Mr. Sully. So I suggest you let me do my job."

The guns at the door were directed straight at Sully's head, and he knew there was nothing to be done. Abagail grimaced in pain as the Major pressed into her palm, and he proceeded to slip the gold ban off of her finger.

Michaela racked her brain, trying to remember what Brian had engraved on Abagail's wedding ring.

The Major frowned and looked at the lettering, muttering slowly as he read the words, "To my Miss Sully, Always, B."

He quickly shoved the ring back on her finger and turned around, signaling to his men. "Let's go."

Abagail exhaled and closed her eyes, and Sully nodded cautiously to Michaela. Stephen wrapped his arms around Abagail's waist, sincerely hugging her.

But as the door opened, as the soldiers were about to go, the exuberant laughter of a young couple in love was coming, and there was nothing to be done to stop it. Alarm and panic flashed around the room, and the soldiers didn't wait. They were out the door. Sully and Michaela quickly followed them, and coming, coming, faster than anything to be done, Katie and No Harm were walking hand in hand, oblivious to where they were going, only looking in each other's eyes.

"There's that bastard," Major Elliot whispered under his breath as he cocked his gun.

"Asêta'xêstse!" Sully screamed, breaking Katie and No Harm out of their dream world.

And Katie saw the Major. Her entire body froze, and it was like she was five years old again, forced to run away from her home, her family, and the people she loved. Three gunshots fired, and they turned away, as she heard her mother's scream and inhaled the hot blaze of gun smoke around her.

"GO!" Michaela's scream filled the night air.

But a promise was made, a promise she had forgotten. Their hands struggled and loosened, and her body couldn't move as she lost his hand. She fell to the ground, tripping over her wet dress and when she looked up, he was gone.

"NO HARM!" Katie screamed into the twilight. "WAIT FOR ME! WAIT FOR ME! DON'T GO! DON'T GO, NO HARM!"


	13. Chapter 13

"Nemehotâtse, hemeho." is "I love you, sister" "Tsevestoemo!" is "My other half!" _Tosa'Nahesta?_ is Where is My Heart? _Tosa'e netao'setsêhe'ohtse, Nahesta_ is Where did my heart go? _Ehesta nemeo'ôtse_ is Heart Song "Mé'anéka'êškóne énomáhtse htsestá!" is "Bastard! You stole my heart!"

Chapter 41  Slumber, My Darling

**_1900—Boston_**

She looked through the foggy window, watching each snowflake descend upon the whitened ground. She leaned her forehead against the glass, rolling it back and forth, back and forth as her dreams faded into the morning. They were sweet dreams, beautiful dreams. Dreams of youth and vitality, of dancing with sweet angels—not like now. Her aged hand slid down the glass, and she sighed as she felt a tremor run through it. She didn't want to think about it. No. She wanted to see him. Where was he? She wanted to tell him everything.

Suddenly, her bedroom door pushed open and a smile spread across her face. She didn't have to turn around. She knew it was him.

"I brought ya some breakfast," he said, his voice deep and rich, like slow pouring honey. She looked over her shoulder, meeting his eyes. She smiled shyly as his eyes roamed over her nightgown like she was a girl of twenty, but somehow, she didn't mind.

"Thank you," she said. "You can set it on the table."

He set it on the table and looked back to her, hesitating ever so slightly, "I thought we could eat together this morning, if ya don't mind."

Relief washed over her, thankful that he wasn't avoiding her like she thought. "Not at all. I wanted to talk to you actually."

He sat down and glanced at her through the corner of his eye. "Yeah? What about?"

She shook her head, not understanding his nonchalance. It didn't fit. "In a minute. I just want to look at you right now."

"Michaela…" He closed his eyes, pushing his chair back from the table.

"Shh…" she whispered, placing her hands over his. "I missed you last night."

"Michaela—"

She had found his nervousness endearing, but at this point, she didn't quite understand it. "I know what you're going to say. Please don't. We've been through too much together. You've shown me more compassion and respect than anyone else—you and Doc Boo. But that's not why… I can't explain how I feel—"

His eyes glazed over, and he looked down sadly. "We never could."

"What did you say?"

He gathered himself again and continued, "Nothin'. Look, I'm not goin' to lie to ya. I'm not goin' to tell ya I haven't been dreamin' about that…all my life. But trust me, things are better simple, Michaela."

She stood up from the table, turning her back to him. "Why? I don't understand."

He got up and followed her. He almost put his hands on her shoulders, but instead, he placed them in his pockets. "I know. I know, sweetheart. I know ya don't. But if I had to watch ya break your heart again, if I had to do that, I would die."

Michaela turned around, searching his eyes. "I don't understand. Who—who are you to me?"

"I'm—I'm just Sully."

_**1893**_

Stephen watched Lina pull her collar tightly around her neck. He had seen several cases like it before, but none that had left such pronounced scars behind. "Are you in any pain?"

Lina frowned, still unsure if he was actually going to stay or leave. "Not—not anymore. Instead, I feel nothing. The tissue is beyond repair."

"Nothin'?" Stephen placed his hands over her tight fists and gently pried her arms apart, revealing the scar tissue again. "Everybody's gotta feel somethin'."

Cautiously, he touched her neck with the tips of his fingers. She didn't breathe or take her eyes away from him. "Ya needn't be afraid," he whispered. "I'm not leavin'."

Tenderly, he ran the back of his hand down the side of her neck and stopped when he felt her inhalation. "There?" he whispered. Lina shook her head slowly, a rush of tears coming to her eyes. His dropped his hand lower, caressing the flesh just above her sternum. She closed her eyes. He stepped closer and whispered, "There?" A deeper pause followed, but she shook her head again. Lower he went, until he touched the simple bow of her camisole. He loosened it, freeing her from its tight hold. He pushed the cotton across her collar bone until it fell from her shoulder, and he moved down, until the charred skin softened at the swell of her breast. His fingers played over the untouched skin and she gasped, an infantile cry of life escaping as he moved lower and grasped her skin more fully in his palm, pulling her closer to him as he watching her feel his touch.

Lina's body woke with a jolt, as her innermost fear and desire were met all at once. This was wrong, she knew, but she couldn't hold back from this stranger, this friend, this boy, man who stayed. He needed to touch someone real as much as she needed to be touched—she could feel it.

And then her eyes flew open as she nearly went blind from the white heat that surged through her body, and she saw the white rush of surge, and the brightest white light she had ever seen, and an angel from heaven, white like snow—and then she saw her face…her face…white as a ghost, reaching out screaming, the mistress of her time, lost among them all.

_**1883**_

As she was about to follow No Harm into the unknown, Katie was pulled back by the roots of her hair fast and hard. Her scream pierced the night sky and Sully reacted impulsively to her pain as he attempted to jump the porch railing. Both soldiers grabbed him, holding their barrels on him, but Michaela burst forward, jumping on the back of the Major, hitting him as hard as she could until he released Katie's head.

The Major threw Michaela off of his back, knocking the back of her head with the end of his rifle. Michaela's entire body twisted around, and she fell to her knees, seeing nothing but white as Katie's arms reached out for her, breaking her fall. "Mama!" she called out helplessly, "Mama!"

Major Elliot did not waver and aimed his gun at Michaela, but focused his attention on Katie. "Get back in the house, _Katherine_. If you don't, I will not hesitate to kill your mother."

Katie stood up slowly, bracing Michaela's weight against her body. "If you touch my mother again, I will not hesitate to kill you."

Elliot laughed mockingly and released the safety of the rifle. His entire face dropped to reveal nothing but raw hatred. "Get. Inside. Now!"

Everyone was pushed back into the homestead in a frenetic pace. Stephen and Abby clung to each other as they were shoved into the corner by the stairs. Michaela and Sully were quickly bound and gagged to each other and forced to sit in dining room chairs. The Major glared at his subordinate officers as he held on to Katie's arm. "Take the other two upstairs and lock them up. Make sure they can't get out."

"What—what are ya doin', boss?" The Second Lieutenant finally spoke up.

"Your job is not to question me, Lieutenant. Take the girl and the boy upstairs now!" He bellowed, his face now red like passion. The Lieutenant swallowed nervously and turned towards the two young people, seeing his own eyes reflected in each of theirs.

The Major turned around, finding the harder eyes of the First Lieutenant. "You. I want you to follow the tracks of that savage and find out which direction he went. My guess is he's not too far away."

The Major turned to Katie, his eyes wild with disgust. "Now don't be stupid, girl. That fool thinks he's protecting you by running? He's sadly mistaken. If you tell me where he went, I'll be kind enough to let you live. But if you don't, I will kill your family members one at a time. Do you want that on your conscious, Katherine?"

"Namehoto," Katie seethed, glaring directly into the Major's eyes. "Nanaa'e—"

"Speak English!" He yelled before whipping his fist across her face. Michaela screamed beyond the thick cotton in her mouth, thrashing so violently the hard wood floor of the cabin began to shake. The Major took the back of his gun and slammed it into Sully's mouth. Michaela froze as he flipped the gun around, ready to shoot Sully. "Doc, if you make one more sound—"

Michaela reached for Sully's hands, and frantically tried to feel for his pulse, making sure he was alright. Sully quickly stilled Michaela's hands with his own, bringing her fingers in between his. Sully began to move his hands deftly against Michaela's, pulling at the tight rope that tied them together. He turned his head and caught her eyes in a flash, and she understood and was still.

"That's better," the Major growled as he circled Katie. "Now, I'm going to give you one last chance. Tell me where No Harm went."

"Namehoto. I love him. Nanaa'e. I would die before I told you where he is."

"Well then. Who am I to argue with true love?" Elliot slammed the barrel across her back, making Katie's knees buckle as she skidded across the splintered floor.

Katie's back rose up, filling with air as she groaned, "Namehoto. Nanaa'e!" As he beat her, her light skin darkened, brown and violet finding its way to her flesh, but she didn't cry. She found her mother's eyes and lost herself in them as the pain slowly disappeared into white nothingness.

Just as Katie's eyes closed, Sully ripped through the ropes and leapt forward, screaming as he threw the Major against the front door, shattering the glass frame around his head. The door flew open and Sully and the Major fell out into the porch.

Michaela ran to Katie's side, picked her limp body up in her arms, and brushed the bloody hair way from her face. "Katie, Katie baby, open your eyes, sweetheart. Open your eyes," Michaela begged, as she kissed Katie's dark lids.

Her eyelashes fluttered against Michaela's lips, as she gasped for breath, "Ab-by… Y-you have to get Abby…and B-boo out."

Sully's back crashed against the window. Michaela and Katie's heads jerked up. "Come on, sweetheart. We don't have much time."

Michaela lifted Katie on her feet, but the glare of the Major's black rifle caught her eye, and she saw a sudden flash of Suzanne's crazed, darkened eyes as she shot them without abandon. Those eyes mocked her again from the cold, black end of the barrel. She swore she would never touch a gun again. But as she heard the smash of glass, the wood cracking, and the pained breathing of her daughter at her side, she grabbed the gun. Without abandon.

Stephen and Abby backed into the girls' room, Stephen's arms encircling his sister protectively.

"Now. You two get in there...and…and don't make a sound," the young Lieutenant ordered nervously.

"Ya don't want to do this. I can tell." Abagail looked directly into the Lieutenant's eyes, reading his fright. "Let us go."

The Lieutenant twitched, but kept moving forward. "I'm sorry. I-I…I have to do this. I'm sorry. Now you just back up now."

"Wait—" Abby reached out and put her hand on his wrist. "Ya know this isn't right. Officers don't hold families hostage in their homes. This is about a sick grudge that Major has against an entire race of people. Ya know this isn't right!"

A bead of sweat fell down the lieutenant's forehead, and his head shook viciously as he removed her hand from his arm. "Do you want me to lose my job, girlie? I got a wife at home two months pregnant I got to support!"

"Then how can ya do this to me? Look at me! _Look at me_!" Abagail screamed, forcing him to look at her pregnant stomach. The lieutenant glanced for only a moment and then averted his eyes, unable to look at her.

He held up his gun, hardening. "Get in there. Get!"

"Stop! Ya can't do this! You know this is wrong! Ya know it!" Abby hit the door as hard as she could, but it slammed in her face.

Brian stepped into the dark house and dropped his carpet bag on the floor. "Abby? Where are ya, darlin'?"

He ran up the stairs of their modest home, but she was nowhere to be found. Suddenly, he heard the door open downstairs, and a smile sparked his face as he raced down the steps. "Abagail?" he called out again.

"No, it's just me, son!" His high hopes dropped slightly when he saw his mother moseying about the living room, and he replaced his smile quickly when she caught his eyes. She smirked and shook his head. "Come here, boy, and don't ya be puttin' on airs for me. I know ya were hopin' I was that bride of yours."

Brian took off his hat and wrapped his arms around Charlotte. "I'm sorry, Ma. It's just that a month is too long to be away from her. I came home early. I couldn't stay away any longer."

Charlotte laughed. "I'm so happy for ya. For both of ya. I can't wait to hold another grandbaby in my arms."

Brian looked about anxiously. "Ya know where she is, Ma?"

She frowned and smoothed down his hat hair. "Well, I saw her earlier goin' to her Ma's clinic. She might be stayin' with her folks again."

"Has she been goin' there a lot?"

Charlotte nodded slowly. "Or she's been keepin' me company at the boardin' house."

Brian sighed and walked towards the sofa, picking up a half-finished, yellow cotton blanket. "Well… I'm gonna take her with me next time. Her and the baby. I can't do this to her anymore. I can't do it to myself."

Charlotte nodded and put his hat back on his head. "Well son, why don't ya go out there and tell her that, instead of sitting her moonin' over her with me?"

"I think I will, Ma. Thanks."

Michaela and Katie slid up the side of the staircase. Michaela looked down at Katie as she reached the top step, and she put her hand on the side of her face. "You don't have to do this, Katie."

Katie nodded fiercely. "Yes, I do."

"Alright. On the count of three." Michaela cocked the safety. "One. Two…"

"Three!" Katie pushed her forward and Michaela aimed the rifle at the unguarded Lieutenant.

"Let my children go now!" The Lieutenant spun around and held his shaking gun straight at Michaela.

"P-put the gun down!"

"Not until you open that door!"

"PUT IT DOWN!"

"Abagail! Stephen!" Michaela called out, as she kept her eyes on the Lieutenant. "I need you to step away from the door!"

"I got Stephen in the corner, Mama!" Abby's muffled voice cried out from behind the door.

"Lady, I don't kn-now what the hell ya think you're doin'—" All of a sudden, Michaela shot the lock of the bedroom, sending the hinges swinging wide open.

Michaela turned her gun back on the Lieutenant. "If you were going to shoot me, you would have done it already."

"How do you know? I could still pull this trigger."

"I wouldn't try me. I was in jail for nine years for murder." Michaela closed her right eye and walked towards the Lieutenant, holding the rifle a foot away from his heart. She smiled sweetly. "Aren't you lucky they let me out?"

The Lieutenant swallowed and slowly lowered his gun as he stared into her unflinching eyes. Michaela nodded. "That's good. Now just give my daughter your gun and leave."

The Lieutenant quickly thrust his gun into Katie's hand and ran for the staircase, not looking back until Michaela's voice followed him. "And if you ever show your face in Colorado Springs again, I will shoot you."

Michaela held her stature until she heard his footsteps crawl away through the side door, and then she turned to Katie, finally letting her face drop as it turned white with vertigo. "Take-take it," Michaela stammered as she keeled over, growing sick to her stomach. Katie took the gun out of her hand and silently called Abagail and Stephen to help carry their mother into the bedroom.

The Major grabbed Sully's hair, swinging him around until he broke through the porch railing, landing hard on the wooden floor. The Major ground his knee in Sully's back and spat in his ear, "You're an Indian lover, aren't you, Mr. Sully? You'd do anything for them, wouldn't you? Tell me, you lie down with a squaw before? Feel her dark skin against your own? I bet you liked it, didn't you, Mr. Sully? Enough to turn your own wife and daughter into Indian lovers too—"

Every muscle in Sully's body surged as the Major's hot air breath touched Katie and Michaela, and whether it was adrenaline or the hand of God, he would never know, but Sully pushed up from the ground and knocked Elliot's heavy weight off of his body, sending him flying down the stairs.

When Sully lifted his head, the Major was lying at the bottom of the stairs, passed out cold.

"Ya ok, Mama?" Stephen put his hands gently on the side of her face, examining the darkening bruise on her temple.

"I'll be alright, Boo. We need to look at your sister though. She might have broken some ribs."

Michaela started to get off the bed, but Stephen pushed her back down. "No, Mama. I'll check. You rest."

"I am fine," Katie got up, inhaling sharply, as she walked towards the window, looking down. She turned around and looked at all of them. "We cannot stay in this room. It is a death trap."

"Katie," Abagail frowned, trepidation clear in her voice. "Where are we gonna go?"

"We can climb out of this window. I will run into the barn and grab the horses and—"

"You're not seriously thinkin' about goin' after No Harm, are ya, Katie?"

"I have to, Abby."

"But ya know what he said! Ya told me yourself! He's gone, Katie! Or are you so blindly in love with him that you can't understand that?"

"He is not gone, Abby! I am sorry Brian is not here, but No Harm would never leave me—" Before Katie could finish, Abby reared back her hand and slapped her hand across Katie's face.

"Wake up, Katie!" Abby screamed, angry, hurt tears forming in her eyes. Abby put her hands on both sides of Katie's face, holding her still. "Don't go, Kates. Please, please don't go. I don't want to lose you again. I need ya. I need ya so much."

"I will always come back to you, Abby. But I have to go now. I have to find him. I have to." Suddenly, the slam of wood against the window sill shocked everyone to their feet. Stephen slipped his hand into Michaela's, and Abby and Katie dropped their heated stances as Abby pulled Katie maternally into her arms.

A deep groan came from the ladder as Sully's head finally surfaced. "Papa!" Stephen ran to the window sill and helped pull him inside.

"Thank ya, Boo." Sully scanned the room. "Is everybody alright?"

"We are fine, Pa," Katie pushed away from Abby's arms and went to the window. "Did you get the horses ready?"

"Katie, stop this!" Abagail screamed, her voice ragged, "We need to go into town—ya need to let Ma examine you!"

"Girls!" Michaela stood up, reaching for Sully as a sharp pressure pushed towards the front of her skull. The room went silent as she gripped her eyes and Sully's hand. She swallowed and opened her eyes.

"Michaela…?" Sully whispered, placing his hand on the small of her back.

"I'm fine. I'm fine." She stood stronger and looked in her children's eyes. "But we aren't going to be fine if you two keep fighting. Now, we have to get out of here, and we have to do this together."

"Your ma's right. I tied Elliot up downstairs, but that don't mean we should drop our guard. We gotta climb out this window and head out through the woods. I don't want to take any chances. Then we'll go into town where it's safe—" 

"I cannot go with you, Papa. I have to find him. I know he is waiting for me. I know it."

Sully sighed, and looked in his daughter's determined eyes. "No Harm had to run, Kates. If he stops for you, they'll find him, and they'll kill him."

"I have to do something! You know that, Papa! You walked across the country to find Mama when they took her away. You left us then—I must leave you now. Don't you understand?"

Sully looked in Katie's set, determined eyes, and then turned to Michaela, her expression unreadable. She knew the power of loving someone like that, how it took over every sense and impulse in her entire being, but she also knew how far yet her daughter had to go. And it was a long road. The longest she had ever traveled.

But Katie's voice broke through the heavy silence, light and hopeful for the future, "He asked me to be his wife, _Tsevestoemose?_, just like that. And I am going to be. Somehow."

Sully closed his eyes. Katie had never asked him for a single thing in her life, but now she was asking him the one thing he didn't know he could give. "Kates…" he barely whispered.

"Please Papa. Just let me go." Sully pulled Katie into his arms, growling in frustration. "Alright. Alright. You can go, but I'm gonna be ridin' with ya. Now let's get out of here now."

Sully began to climb out of the window first, and Katie followed him at a much slower pace, her breathing ragged and labored.

Before Katie was out of the window frame, Abagail ran to the window and grabbed her face in her hands. "I love you. You better come back. Hanna Katherine Cooper might even be here by that time, and she's gonna need her aunt. I need her aunt."

Katie pressed her lips against Abagail's in a firm, soul-touching kiss only shared between sisters. "Nemehotâtse, hemeho."

And Katie was gone down the ladder. Abby turned to Michaela, fright in her eyes. "Mama… Ya have to go with Katie. She's not breathin' right. I'm worried she's doin' too much. I—"

"Shh…" Michaela kissed Abby's forehead. "I don't want you to worry anymore, Miss Sully. You need to be calm right now, especially for this little one." Michaela put her hand over Abby's belly. "You're going to be the best mother, you know that?"

"I hope so. You'll go with her? Keep her safe?"

Michaela nodded. "I want you and Boo to go straight to the clinic. You'll be safe there. And I want you to go to bed. This stress isn't good for the baby."

"Michaela! Abby! Boo! Hurry!" Sully called from the ground.

"You first, Mama." Stephen helped Michaela swing her arms over the sides of window sill. Michaela took a deep breath as the height seemed to lift her head away from her body for a moment. But then the sounds of the horses and her children's urges pushed her to continue down the ladder.

Suddenly a gunshot fired out, sending Bongo running into the trees. The First Lieutenant had returned from his mission with a fully loaded gun and was in front of the house, calling out their names. Michaela looked at Sully, and he quickly held out his hand as she jumped on the back of his horse Emo'onahe with him.

Katie, on Flash, looked up to the bedroom window where her sister and brother where still held captive. As the cries got louder, Abagail shook her head and pushed the ladder away from the window. "Go!" she screamed, "Go!"

Michaela's eyes flashed with blinding white fear. "How can we leave you here?"

Abby took Stephen's hand in hers. "We'll find a way out of the house, don't worry. We'll get into town, _I promise_. Just go! Please! They're coming! _They're coming_!"

The First Lieutnant spun around the side of the house and began shooting, giving them no time to think. Flash began to fly in the night, and Emo'onahe, with two frightened, beautiful spirits on its back, ran to catch Lightening Woman.

Stephen leaned over the window sill as he watched them get away, his excitement shaking his muscles all the way to the bottom of his toes. His face brightened with hope, as he could almost feel relief. "They're gonna make it, Abby. I can feel it. Those soldiers will never catch Flash and Emo'onahe. And Katie's gonna be alright. You don't gotta worry no more."

"Boo," Abby said faintly, her back turned to him as she walked slowly to the bedroom door.

"What, Abby?" Stephen said nonchalantly as he kept peering out of the window.

"Maybe…maybe we should think about headin' into t—"

And then there was screaming silence, louder than Stephen had ever heard in his life when his sister stopped speaking.

As Brian galloped down the main road out of town, he pulled back on his reins as he saw a soldier running from the opposite direction. Brian frowned, not knowing what to make of it, and kicked his horse in the side, pushing him forward.

"Soldier!" Brian asked. The Lieutenant immediately looked up, shock and fear in his eyes as his head jerked to the right and the left and behind him again, as if someone was following him. "Where are ya comin' from?"

The Lieutenant rubbed his forehead, shaking his head vigorously. "N-no where, sir. No where a'tall."

"You don't have a regiment, sir?"

"Ah, um. No sir. I'm done. I'm done with it. I gotta go. I-I-I gotta go." The Lieutenant turned from him, covered his arms around his body and continued to walk along the road, muttering to himself.

Brian turned back, and began to start again, but he paused, listening to the Lieutenant's ramblings. "I'm sorry, honey… I'm so sorry… It wasn't my fault. I'd never hurt ya. I'd never hurt ya. It was him, not me. It was him. It was him…."

As he heard his nonsensical ramblings, something clicked inside of Brian. Something wasn't right. He kicked his house into a full blown gallop and road—closer and closer towards the Sully homestead.

Katie beared down on Flash's main as they road deeper and deeper into the woods, driving herself to the only place she could imagine he would be, that, or driving herself mad. She didn't know which. If he wasn't there, she knew all was lost.

Sully followed Katie as best as he could while keeping a firm hand wrapped around Michaela. He looked over her shoulder, searching her pale face and glassy eyes. "Michaela?" he whispered. "Are ya sure ya don't need to rest?"

Michaela closed her eyes and opened them again, stiffening her body in his arms as they road. "The children first, Sully. I promised Abby I would take care of Katie. I can't break anymore promises. Then we'll worry about me."

"Ma! Pa!" Katie called from ahead, her breath like a broken harp. "We are close!"

Stephen ran to Abagail, not knowing how to pick her up. Tangles of beautiful black curls were everywhere, and he smoothed them away, finding her pale face asleep. "Abby?" He yelled forcefully, his voice cracking with boyish age, "Abby, come on, darlin'… Ya gotta wake up… Mama says we need to get into town now."

Slowly, Abby's eyes fluttered open, and she smiled faintly at Stephen. "Hey Baby Boo."

"Don't call me that!" Stephen cried a little, turning his face away from her. "Ya scared me."

"You'll always be my baby brother. What else am I supposed to call ya?" She giggled a little bit as he scowled at her as he went around to her shoulders to help lift her. When he lifted her to a sitting position, Abby screamed out, grabbing on to Stephen's hands.

"What—what is it?" Stephen asked, panic washing over him. A moment later, he didn't have to ask, as a warm liquid surrounded his knees. "Oh…um… We need to get ya off the floor, Abs. Um… Let's… Let's get ya into the bed, ok?"

As Stephen pushed her up with all his strength and led her to the bed, he quickly scanned his memory, thinking of all the things he had seen his mother do or say about pregnancies. He put two pillows behind her back and covered her up with the sheets and comforter. He brought in fresh blankets and poured a basin full of water, placing it on her beside table. His mother's medical bag. Where had she put it? He ran downstairs, and there it was, beside the chairs where those jerks had tied Mama and Papa together. Stephen quickly ran back upstairs and sat beside Abagail.

"Ya feelin' better?" Stephen asked as he ran a wet cloth over her forehead.

"No," Abagail said irritably, but then quickly put her hand over Stephen's free one. "But I'm awful glad you're here with me, _Doc Boo_."

Katie could hear the rush of water in the distance, as her heartbeat sharpened with each step they made, closer and closer until they cleared through the trees, and there she was again, in the beautiful expansive stream down from the creek. She jumped off of Flash and ran into the chilled water, white currents splashing around her as she filled the expansive space with her presence.

"Tsevestoemo!" She called out, hope and joy filling her voice. "Tosa'e Nahesta?"

Sully slowly helped Michaela get off the horse as they watched Katie spin around in the water, looking in every direction for a sign of No Harm.

"Things are never gray, are they, Sully?" Michaela dropped her head on his shoulder, the tension swirling, swirling to a tight knot as she watched Katie spin and spin with the brightest hope in her eyes.

"What do you mean?" Sully asked, supporting her slumping shoulders.

Michaela shook her head, seeing everything at once. "Things are always black or white. Never gray. If he's not here—"

Sully shook his head. "He'll be here. I would never lose faith in you. He'll be here."

"She'll lose hope."

Brian jumped off of his horse as he reached the Sully homestead, an eerie sensation crawling all over him the moment he saw the front door wide open. He quickly ran up the front steps and into the house, calling out, "Abby! Abby darlin'!"

"Up here!" Stephen yelled from upstairs, a wariness in his voice. As he began to mount the stairs, he stopped abruptly when he heard a quiet, pained moaning coming from Abby's old room. He jumped the stairs two at a time until he got to the door, and Stephen quickly stood in front of him, his sleeves rolled up and sweat running down his face profusely.

"Brian," Abby smiled and looked up at him, reaching for his hand. Brian quickly went to her, confusion filling his face.

"Abby… Darlin'… But the baby's not due for a few more weeks… Your ma said so—"

"It's ok, Brian, I'm fine. Mama will be back soon. And it'll be ok. Boo's takin' good care of me. Ain't ya, Boo?"

Stephen smiled cagily, twisting the damp cloth in his hands as he quickly moved to the window, looking for any sign of their parents.

Brian watched Stephen walk to the window and looked back at Abagail. He kissed her forehead and smiled reassuringly. "Don't ya worry. Boo and I will make sure everything's just right for ya, and before you know it, we're gonna have a beautiful baby to love and hold for the rest of his life."

"Her life," Abby said confidently, a sparkle lighting her fading eyes.

"As long as she looks like ya, I'll be the happiest man in the world." Brian kissed her soundly on the lips before standing up and going to the window where Stephen stood.

He turned his back to Abby, so she couldn't see his face and asked, "What the hell happened tonight, and why in God's name isn't Michaela here with her?"

"They found out about No Harm, Brian. It was really bad. No Harm had to run, but they caught Katie. She got beat up really bad. Mama too. I don't know about Papa. He's pretty tough. But Papa stopped the main guy… this Major... who hates Katie and No Harm… but Katie was determined to go after No Harm, and Abby made Michaela promised to take care of Katie. And we couldn't get out of the house before Abby just collapsed, I guess from all the stress and—"

Brian closed his eyes for a second, and then opened them, trying to have patience and be in control. "Ok, ok, Boo. Ya did good. You've taken real good care of her so far. How much do ya know about delivering a baby?"

Stephen shook his head, his heart sinking to the floor. "I—I've never done it. Mama says that I'm still not old enough. That I have to be about thirteen."

Brian rubbed his forehead, thinking, thinking of anything. "Ok…ok… What if I go get my ma? She used to be the mid-wife a long time ago before your ma was here."

Stephen nodded, twisted his fingers behind his back nervously. "Ok. Um. That might be ok. But…but…what if she still needs a doctor?"

Brian froze and just stared at Stephen. "Ya said your ma was comin' back, right?"

"Right," Stephen said more confidently than he felt.

"Then Abby'll have a doctor. It'll be ok. We can do this, little brother, don't ya worry." Brian put his hand on Stephen's shoulder before heading out again.

Katie stood in the middle of the rushing stream, her body trembling as the cold, numbing sensation finally reached her heart. "Tosa'e Nahesta? TOSA'E NAHESTA!"

Her will and determination broke a little bit more, and the pain in her ribs began to cut acutely, as breathing became more difficult as she screamed once more, using all of her air supply, "Tosa'e netao'setsêhe'ohtse, Nahesta!"

As if she were held up by strings from Heaven, they suddenly snapped and collapsed, falling to her knees in the water. "Ehesta nemeo'ôtse," she cried, her face crushing against the wet, jagged rocks. "Ehesta nemeo'ôtse!"

Michaela closed her eyes, turning into Sully's chest, unable to watch at Katie anymore. "Go get her, Sully. Please, please go get her."

Sully nodded and left Michaela standing in the bank as he slowly walked to Katie. He sank down beside her, placing both hands on her back. "It's ok, babygirl. Papa's here. Papa's right here."

Sully brought her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her, falling back on his knees as he held her. Katie's head fell back against his shoulder, and from the darkest part of her soul, she rejected everything, "NO!"

Stephen brought a fresh pitcher of water into the bedroom, and placed it on the bedside table. Abby watched him, a soft smile etched across her face. Her face was sweaty, making her fair skin seem that much paler. He glanced at her as he poured the fresh water into the pitcher. She winked at him. "What?" he asked curiously.

"Oh nothin'," she whispered amusedly, even while she grimaced in pain. "I just never thought much about ya really bein' a doctor until now. I think you're gonna make a fine one, Boo."

"Yeah," Stephen said wistfully, "I just wish I could do more. But Brian should be back soon with Charlotte and ma—"

Suddenly Abby screamed out, her back arching high off the bed as a sharp contraction ripped through her body. She reached out blindly and took Stephen's hand. Stephen winced, but kept his focus on her. "Ok Abby… That's good… Contractions are good… Just breathe through it and hold my hand, darlin'… Just hold my hand… I've got ya—"

Michaela could hear the hooves before she could see them. Quickly she picked up her skirts and ran out to Sully and Katie, taking the horses with her. "We have to go," she said hurriedly. "They're behind us!"

Katie pushed out of Sully's arms, despair now pure anger. "NO!" she said fiercely. "I am never running away. I am not leaving this place until he comes back. I refuse to live like that! I will not hide! I will not hide! I WILL NOT HIDE!"

The First Lieutenant and the downtrodden Major pushed through the trees and spotted them immediately.

"There's the girl," The Major pointed at her without his weapon.

Katie glared at him and screamed, her voice not her own, "Mé'anéka'êškóne énomáhtse htsestá!"

And as fast as lightening could go, she ran towards white horses.

Abby was too quiet now. Her last contraction had been over ten minutes ago. Was that normal? He didn't know. He didn't know anything. He stood up and began pacing the room. He turned around and looked at her face. None of her curls were falling in her face or bouncing around wildly. Her hair was wet and smoothed back. Drenched. Not like his annoying, crazy Abby was supposed to look. Suddenly his eyes went to the bottom of the bed. The comforter. There was blood. A small bit of it.

Stephen quickly pulled back the blanket. "Oh my God…"

Blood was everywhere.

"Abby!" He called out desperately, trying to control the waver in his voice, "Abby, darlin', can ya here me?"

Abby's eyes fluttered, and she smiled faintly, "Mama? That you, Mama?"

Stephen quickly removed the bloody comforter. "No…no darlin'… Mama's not here yet. It's Boo. I need ya to promise you're gonna stay awake with me, ok? Ya gotta stay awake."

"I stay awake, Boo."

"You're bleedin' a lot. I'm… I'm gonna try and stop it." Stephen did the best he could, putting extra towels beneath her, trying to stop the flow of blood.

"The—the baby?" Abby whispered faintly.

Stephen shook his head, trying, trying so hard not to show her his fear. "I—I don't know, Abby."

"Where's Mama?" Abby whimpered, her voice child-like.

"She's with Katie, Abby. But she's comin' back. She promised ya, remember?" Footsteps suddenly made their way up the staircase, and Charlotte and Brian appeared in the doorway.

Charlotte stopped abruptly in her steps once she saw the blood. She turned sharply to Brian. "You get back on that horse and go find Dr. Mike this second. This girl can't wait."

Michaela didn't understand what Katie was doing until she heard the pounding of water and land against each other. And she didn't have to ask where her heart was. She felt it dying in that moment. She ran as fast as she could. But since the day Katie was born, no one had ever been as fast as her. But Michaela ran anyway. She reached out for her babygirl, trying to stop her, knowing that saying _NO _wasn't enough, but if she could just touch her, if she could just look in her eyes, and say, yes, I know you're heart is broken, I know it is, but I would tear out mine and give it to you if I could, then maybe she would stop. But her baby was so fast. So strong. So beautiful. So defiant. Her baby was her. She was her heart, and she leaping, leaping, leaping high into the sky, high above the world, so much further than she had ever gone herself. And when Michaela reached the edge, she would have jumped too, but Sully stopped her, he kept her grounded while their daughter flew down into white surges, crashing like lightening.

"Mama!" Abagail cried softly, her head shaking back and forth as Stephen wrapped his arms around her. "I—I want my mama…"

Stephen kissed the side of her cheek, trying to calm her tremors. "Brian went to get her, darlin'. He'll be back soon. I promise."

Charlotte covered her back up with a fresh blanket and nodded to Stephen. They walked out in the hall together. She put her hand on his shoulder. "Boo… I've done all I can for your sister. Made her comfortable. But all we can do now is wait for your ma."

Stephen looked down, and he shook his leg uncomfortably. "What if Mama doesn't get here?"

Charlotte put her hand on the side of Stephen's innocent face. "You're such a sweet boy. Ya just go be with your sister now."

Stephen walked back in the quiet room, and Abby turned her head slightly. "Why ya got such mopey eyes, Boo?"

He crawled up in the bed beside her and leaned his head beside hers. "I'm sorry, Abs."

Abby reached for his hand. "Ya worried about me?"

Stephen turned his face away from her so she couldn't see his eyes. "Are ya mad?"

She pulled his hand next to her face. "Nah. It's good to know ya care a little bit."

He turned and looked at her at her. He was crying. "I love ya, Abby."

"I know." She smiled, squeezing his hand. "Will you sing me our song?"

"Mama's song?"

She smiled happily, closing her eyes. "Yeah. Sing it for me."

Stephen frowned, trying to remember the words. He couldn't do anything right for her. And he couldn't stop crying like a baby. He had to get this right. "I'll try. Um… Slumber, my darlin'… thy mother is near, guarding thy dreams from all terror and fear…" He paused. "Uh… I forget the next part."

Abby smiled slightly. "Ya sing off-key."

"Mama does it better." And he wanted her here so bad.

She tightened her hold on his hand. "But I like your version. Keep goin', Boo."

Stephen took a deep breath, "While others their revels keep, I will watch over my Abby. Slumber, my darlin'… the birds are at rest…The wandering dews by the flow'rs are caressed…Slumber, my darlin', I'll wrap thee up warm…And pray that the angels will shield thee from harm…" Stephen stopped and looked out towards the night sky. "Do ya believe in Heaven, Abby?"

"I…"

"Abby?" Her eyes were closed, but a soft smile lit her face.

"I can see her, Boo. She's here. She came—"

As Brian pushed through the clearing, he saw something he could only write about, something that he would never speak about in words to anyone ever again.

Sully was holding Michaela back over the edge of a waterfall. Her hands were reaching out, as if to catch something falling.

The words they said to each other, he could not repeat.

But his heart could not wait. Abby needed her. He road down to the stream, straight to them. His plea was simple.

Michaela's face was white like lies as Sully lifted her into his arms and put her back on the horse. They left immediately.

The Major appeared from the bottom of the waterfall where they had been searching for Katie. He stopped Brian.

He looked at the young man's eyes coldly. "Tell them we found the body. Their daughter is dead."

As they looked into each other's eyes, there was such peace, such comfort. There found home. "Mama," Abby whispered, her eyes bright and full of life. "I never thought—"

She smiled and held out her hand, and Abagail felt such a surge, like waves surrounding her, pulling her under in a white current, but she was safe, as long as she held that hand, as long as she followed her—and suddenly, she could hear her baby cry, see her bright blue eyes, touch her soft, pink fingers and tiny hands, and they were all together, in such a sweet, sweet slumber.

"Abby!" Stephen cried over her, his hands shaking violently as she didn't respond to his voice. "Please wake up, please…please…. Just a little bit longer, darlin'… I just… I just don't know what to do!"

The door burst open, and Michaela pushed Stephen away from Abagail.

Stephen stammered back, his boyish uncertainty finally breaking down.

After a few moments, Michaela stood up riggedly. Her eyes completely dead as she turned around and faced Stephen, Sully, Brian, and Charlotte.

"I failed them," she said. "I'm sorry."

Slowly, she walked past them, leaving her girls' room. She went to her bedroom, shut the door and locked it.

She went to her window. She opened the latch and felt the night air hit her like ice. She thought of the rushing waves. She thought of the stillness of the heart. She thought of it all. She stood up on top of the desk. What would it be like to be an angel? She could hear Sully's voice on the other side of the door. If she were an angel, she could dance in the skies were her babies. If she were an angel, she could have protected them both. If she were an angel, she could fly.

Sully kicked the door down, and they eyes flashed with each others.

"I'm sorry. I love you," she whispered. And then she flew, meeting lightening and angels.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 42 Found

_**1893**_

The library was dark now. A passerby on Fifth Avenue might assume that it had been abandoned, but if one stopped, and listened very carefully, the sound of flesh and need could be heard.

It had happened slowly, as neither one of them garnered the experience to lead the other, but as the night wore on, they turned into old lovers, quickly making up for lost time.

As they lay on the floor between tables, clothes scattered about them, Stephen snaked his arms around her, pulling Lina securely against his chest and she held on to his shoulders, as if he might disappear at any moment.

She felt his grief before he spoke of it. But when he began to talk of his sisters, she closed her eyes and held him closer, hot tears falling as she saw everything from his young eyes. Her young eyes.

"Nothin' was the same after that, Lina. We actually tried to stay in the homestead for a year after they died."

"It was your home." She saw the white walls. She saw her hand. She felt his hand.

"Not without Abby and Katie. There was this empty room next to mine. Pa wouldn't go near it. I never told him, but at night, I used to go in there at night. Lie on the floor next to their bed." At night, despite her weak legs, she would crawl to her bed, and reach, reach, reach out…

He pressed her hand over his heart as she whispered, "You wanted to be close to them."

"Yeah. And my mother…" He closed his eyes and Lina saw everything.

She kissed the pulse on his neck. "It's ok. You can trust me."

He buried his lips in her hair. "Her legs broke when she… when she fell from the window. She recovered, but we couldn't get her to speak. It was like she was somewhere else, not with Pa and me."

Those monsters didn't say anything when she left, they wouldn't tell anything, and then one day, she was gone too. Lina saw it all and whispered, "Like she went with them."

Stephen looked in her eyes, lying side by side. "One night when I was in the girls' room, she came in. She didn't know I was there. She went over to the closet and opened it. All of their clothes, the dresses and skirts and blouses that Abby had made when they were little girls were all still in there. She began pulling the dresses out, one by one, but she didn't make a sound, didn't say a word, almost like she wasn't breathin'. I got scared. So I got out from under the bed and I went to her. She was holdin' that pink dress of Abby's to her face, almost suffocating in it. I touched her shoulder and…"

Lina wrapped him up, her scars touching his heart. "It's ok…"

"I never heard anybody scream like that. The way she looked at me and the way she cried. It… it was like she was lost in the dark, and she…she was so scared… And I tried to comfort her, but she couldn't stop cryin'. Even Pa couldn't make her stop."

"And she was gone after that, wasn't she?" Lina said.

Stephen nodded, his jaw tightening. "The doctors don't understand it. They try to pass it off as some form of amnesia or dementia, but they don't really know. The truth is she had a breakdown, and she doesn't remember the people she loves."

Lina felt his body shivering. "Stephen…"

"And they don't think we should tell her about the girls. They don't think we should try to restore her memory at all. They believe it will only cause further damage, cause another breakdown, and therefore, cause her to slip further into her own world."

Lina paused and assessed his determined, far off glare. "And what do you think?"

Stephen looked at her and pulled her closer. "I think those doctors don't know a damn thing they're talkin' about."

_**1890—Boston**_

Michaela leaned against the front door at Beacon Hill, watching the young man walk away into the overcast morning. She smiled sadly as he disappeared into the fog, already missing him.

Her Stranger was standing behind her, watching the boy too. Or maybe he was watching her, she wasn't sure.

But she knew. Now that the boy was gone, they were left to themselves, to each other and this enormous house they shared in silence.

But it wasn't silent. Whenever she looked up, his eyes were searching hers, looking for something, something, she never quite recognized. He made her tremble.

But he never touched her.

She turned around and found his eyes. "I'm going to miss him, Sully."

"Yeah?" Sully's eyes sparked suddenly, and she saw that elusive hopefulness fill them as he stepped forward.

"He's…" Michaela faltered as she stared into his sea blue eyes. Quickly, she escaped and turned back to the door and shut it.

"What?" He asked, stepping closer to her, a slight tremor in his voice.

Michaela shook her head slightly, an irrepressible smile coming to her face. "I don't know. There's something special about him."

Sully nodded enthusiastically, unable to repress his feelings as he saw the light in her smile. "Yes. He's his mother."

But when she looked at him, there was only confusion in her eyes.

When she saw the hope die in his eyes, Michaela stepped forward guiltily, gently placing her hand on the side of his cheek. "I'm sorry she's not here."

Sully closed his eyes, leaning into her soft touch that he hadn't felt in so long. They walked around this house like strangers, comfortable strangers, even sometimes friends, but there was this ledge that both of them stirred far from, and now they were so close to it, dangling over the edge. The doctors warnings rang through Sully's mind, but his heart didn't want to listen. This was killing him.

"I think he looks like you," Michaela whispered, her hand suddenly froze on his warm face. She felt the muscles of his jaw tense underneath her palm, and her heart suddenly ached for him as she watched him hold back…something. "He's…he's…a beautiful boy."

Sully crossed his arms over his chest, trying to regain his composure. Michaela reluctantly withdrew her hand and watched him withdraw himself from her. He exhaled and walked towards the drawing room. He stopped abruptly and turned around. "Ya think he'll be alright in a place like Harvard?"

Michaela's lips curled to the side, and she shook her head. "He's only across the Charles River! He could swim home if he wanted."

He sauntered back, turning the conversation towards things she knew. "It won't be too hard for him?"

She smiled reassuringly, amused by his paternal anxiety. "He's one of the brightest young men I've ever known, Sully. And he really cares about people." But then she hesitated, not knowing how he would react to what she wanted to say. Yet she couldn't hide how she felt. She looked down and whispered excitedly, "He…he told me he wants to help me, Sully."

Sully stepped back, shocked. He had no idea Stephen felt this way. "He did?"

Michaela stood taller, her mind clear and made up. "I think… I think he's right, Sully."

Sully turned around, nothing but warnings and her terrifying, lost screams spinning in his head. "I don't know what to say."

She nodded, observing him closely, watching his fatigued body language. "I know."

He stopped and looked down, laughing ironically. "You know?"

She frowned, not understanding him. "Yes, I do."

Sully gripped the banister of the staircase, nearly shaking it, and stared at her. "You have no idea, Michaela. I know Boo means well, but… he he… I'm sorry… He just doesn't… He doesn't even have a degree yet. We've talked to some of the best doctors in the country about this. I…"

"Not everything you learn about being a doctor comes from a book, Sully," she shot back icily. Their eyes locked, and Sully gripped the cold wood harder, waiting for some kind of fierce emotion that defined his Michaela to emerge from under this shell in front of him, but when nothing came, nothing happen, he ripped the top part of the railing from its holding, throwing it across the room at the old grandfather clock, shattering its glass casing.

"What are you doing, Sully! That was my father's!" Michaela suddenly screamed, hot tears coming to her eyes as she ran across the room, heedlessly picking up shards of glass with her bare hands.

His control waned as he watched her cry, and words tumbled out of his mouth without censor, "See? That's what I don't understand. Ya remember your father, ya remember livin' in this house! Ya can even remember bein' a doctor, but ya can't remember anythin' else? I'd think that'd be the first thing ya'd want to forget after everythin' that's happened!"

Michaela looked up, shaking her head at him as she gripped two pieces of glass in her hands. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN!"

"Nothing. I don't mean anythin'," Sully sank down beside her, the fight falling out of him as he reached for her hands and pulled the sharp glass out of each of her palms. They hadn't cut her yet, and he wouldn't let anything hurt her again. He let go of her hands and lowered his head. "I'm… I'm sorry. I'm just… scared for ya."

Michaela stood up slowly, rising above him, something unknown boiling inside of her as she glared in his eyes. "How do you think I feel? Don't… Don't… Don't tell me what I have a _right_ to know. If Stephen wants to help, then I am going to let him help me. If I remember something, then I'll handle it the best way I know how. _I'm_ not going to pretend to understand this, Sully. _You_ can't either. But if Boo can find something…"

Sully stood up, succumbing to her as he saw…something. And he said clearly, "Michaela."

Her tired, angry eyes closed and she whispered, "What?"

"Alright. Let him help ya. I'm sorry." She opened her eyes and stared at him, confused again by his change of heart. Sully shook his head, turning away from her set, impassioned eyes, unable to stand it anymore. "I'm sorry."

Before she could say another word, he walked out the front door. She turned around and looked at the broken clock. She reached inside the case and ran her hand over the three gold chimes. Their song had always been like a lullaby to her, but now the song was over. She looked towards the closed door. Sully was behind it somewhere, and she couldn't help but wonder, what did he know that was sweeter than a lullaby?

**1900—Eastbound Train to Boston**

Brian tried to focus on his writing pad, but he was distracted. As usual. The wheels on the track. The roaring engine. And he couldn't ignore the giggling girls in the compartment behind him. He leaned back, dropping his pad. He and Abby would have had at least two or three children by now. Lots of little girls.

But he couldn't think about that. He had a meeting with his editor in Boston, and Sully had been generous enough to welcome him into their home while he was working. He was anxious to see Sully as always. Since Loren and Miss Olive's passing, he had no more ties to Abagail in Colorado Springs. Seeing Michaela would be hard though. He had hoped for Stephen's sake that she would remember something eventually, but as far as he knew, she hadn't.

Suddenly, a little tornado seemed to blaze through his compartment. She giggled before shutting the door and running uninvitingly under his seat.

"Shh!" She whispered secretively. Her little toe head popped out, and she grinned at him with sparkling dark eyes, "Don't tell sissy I'm in here!"

Suddenly, another little imp came running down the corridor, and she slammed her palms up against Brian's window, peering in like a sleuth. Brian couldn't help but chuckle.

She then knocked politely on the door. Brian pushed it open. "Yes?"

"You haven't seen Lala, have ya, Mister?"

"No he hasn't, Gigi!" The other one called out from under the seat. "So go away!"

"You are so bad at this game, Lala!" Gigi scolded as she dropped to her knees, digging her sister out from under the seat.

Brian laughed as the two of them made faces at each other and then looked pointedly at him. "Those are very interesting names the two of you have, ladies."

"They are our princess names. But we have other names too, don't we, Gigi?" Lala sat beside Brian excitedly, always ready to talk.

"Shh…" Gigi's eyes went wide. "Remember, father said not to talk about that when we're not at home!"

Brian frowned, not understanding the little girls, but suddenly, down the corridor, a rich, clear voice he knew called out, "Kayla! Gail! Where are you, girls?"

**1890**

The door flew open, and he could already hear her choking for air as she stumbled into his bedroom. "Sully!" she cried. "Sully, where are you?"

Sully pushed back his sheets and jumped out of the bed, finding her white figure in the dark. "I'm right her, Michaela!"

And before he could stop her, she threw her arms around his neck, pulling closer to his body than she had been in years. But once she was there, Sully forgot everything he knew and clung to her trembling body, letting his hands run down her hair to her back and around her waist.

"What happened?" he whispered in her ear, as she curled into his body.

"I-I had a dream. A horrible dream—I—" As she exhaled her body gave into the fatigue, and she sank into his arms. Sully immediately picked her up and carried her back to his bed. As he laid her down, he leaned over her, caught in her hold even as he tried to pull away.

He smoothed her hair away, an endearment falling from his lips as though she were a stranger, "Tell me what happened, sweetheart."

"Are you sure?" She hesitated, now that she had calmed somewhat, she couldn't help but be aware of how close they were. He had never allowed it. And after what happened that afternoon, she wasn't sure she should be here. But now that she was here, she felt as though she had been here a thousand times.

Sully only nodded. His senses were too keen right now. Listening to her voice, her breath, her heartbeat. He could hear everything and nothing else.

Her hand slipped through his, and he couldn't let go as she began to tell him her dream, "I was running towards some kind of boat… a beautiful sail boat…It—it was like chasing happiness…"

Sully smiled as he caressed her forehead. "That's a nice thought. Chasing happiness. If ya can reach it."

She exhaled and when she tried to speak, her voice broke, "And I was so close to it, but then, all of a sudden, it just sailed away without me, and I… I never… I never felt such… And I knew… that no matter how fast I ran, the boat would always be faster, and I would never be able to catch it."

She stared into his eyes as if he could tell her the answer, but Sully didn't have it. They were always here, and an overwhelming sense of failure struck him as she sought his help.

"I wish I knew what it meant," Sully whispered. "I wish I could help ya more."

"It…It was an unbearable sadness, Sully…" Michaela released his hand, and slowly, slowly placed the hand on the side of his cheek. "Sometimes I look at you, and I think you might know what that is."

"Ya can see that?" He whispered hoarsely. Like he had been shot, Sully's head dropped, as all the memories came flooding back in surges as one daughter lay lifeless with child and only bloody clothes were found of the other. Feelings and emotions he had been repressing for her, for them, surfaced suddenly, and he cried for the first time in seven years. As he collapsed Michaela pulled him against her, and his body fell on hers; and she held his weight, his burden, his heart, all, with such care as though she were holding delicate glass.

His tears shattered her body, shaking the core of her being as she felt what he felt, even though she couldn't name it. They pulled each other closer, and Michaela knew in that moment that it didn't matter what had come before or what would come after. She was supposed to be here with him now.

She curled her hand around his hair, letting her fingers get lost in his locks as she whispered into his ear, letting him know it was alright to break, letting him know that he was safe with her, letting him feel cared for and… and…

"I don't want to let ya go," he whispered, his voice rough as he cradled her head. Slowly, she pushed back on his chest, returning his weight, returning his bed as she pushed him to his back.

Then she gave him all of her weight. Her face hovered over his as she wiped away his tears. "Then don't," she said, surrendering everything to him, "Take me, take me, please take me."

He couldn't say no. He nodded _yes_ and took her completely in his arms, and there he found her lips again, and she kissed him as though it were the first time and he as though it was the last, but it was right, because it had always been right.

Not waiting any length of time, Sully dragged the coat of her nightgown up, pulling it over her head quickly. Her body was shaking against his as he began to paint her flesh with his mouth, inhaling her like a necessary drug, an obsession, a lifeline. He was taking her in every way possible, and she was overwhelmed by him, by his need, his passion, his… Questions began to fill her mind, but soon she couldn't concentrate anymore, and she found herself taking as much from him as he was from her.

She fell onto him, pierced by him, and he clung to her breasts as they moved together desperately seeking something beautiful, something so far away, but so close and tangible at the same time…

He pushed her hair back and held her head as they reached out to touch it, and they words tumbled dangerously from his mouth as he jumped, "I love you, Michaela!"

"I…I…" She stumbled and collapsed upon him, unable to answer him or understand her feelings, his feelings as her body racked with indescribable sensations above him. And they fell together to the bed, found… but still so desperately lost.

**1893**

Daylight stirred him, and Stephen opened his eyes, gazing at Lina's peaceful countenance. Last night he had found what he had been missing all his life—that simple, beautiful connection to a human being, body and soul that could hardly be expressed in words. His heart was finally beating again, and it was because of this bewitching stranger who had let him fall apart and be himself. She didn't ask for anything in return. But he wanted to hold her and protect her. He wanted to love her. And for the first time in his life, he wasn't afraid of it.

But the sound of life outside was slowly making its way towards them, and Stephen quickly sat up, gathering his clothes around him.

"You're leaving," Lina whispered. Stephen quickly turned around, looking into her worried eyes. He reached out and caressed her cheek, shaking his head slowly.

"Not you." He smiled, reassuring her. "But we should probably get up. Get dressed before someone catches us."

Lina's eyes widened, as if she were suddenly remembering where they were. "The library could be opening any minute! What time is it?"

Stephen chuckled as she began throwing her clothing all about, searching for his pocket watch. She was like a blazing tornado, and he was awestruck.

Suddenly as her camisole flew into the air, a sharp gleam caught his eye and he looked at the shiny gold pocket watch on the floor.

He bent down and picked it up.

"Lina!" Her head popped up. He flipped it open as he looked in her eyes. "Is this what you were lookin' for?"

"Oh," she shook her head sadly, "That old thing doesn't work. I'm lookin' for yours, Boo."

"Too bad. It's a beautiful piece," Stephen commented as she gave up and began to dress. The gold sparkled against the light again, shining like Midas' hair, and he didn't close it. Instead, he looked down to the frozen time.

And he saw her picture. And his heart stopped again.

"Lina," he whispered hoarsely.

"Hmm?" She asked nonchalantly as she tied her chemise.

"Why do you have a picture of my mother?"

**1873—Boston Hospital **

Abagail and Katie froze as David's eyes swam with delirium, as his mouth began to formulate words and phrases they didn't understand.

Abby quickly pushed Katie towards the door, and without words, she flew out of the room, rushing down the hall to find a doctor, regardless of the hospital rules.

Abby leaned close to David, and she saw that familiar light fill his eyes as he reached for her hand. She swallowed nervously, remembering how trusting she was as a child and how angry she had been just a few minutes ago. She knew she had to pretend one more time.

She put her hand in his, and David smiled like he was coming home. "I'm here, father," she whispered.

"You've grown so beautiful, like I knew you would." Abby closed her eyes, trying to hide her disgust.

"Michaela's in trouble, father… She's been put in jail for something she didn't do. Can ya—you tell me what happened the night… M-mama and your father were shot? Can you do that for me, father?" David's eyes clouded over and his chest swelled. Abby gripped his hand tighter, encouraging him.

His answer came like a whisper from a dream, "I gave her a thousand lilacs… Caroline… and they weren't even mine… And she told me to write everything down, so I d-did. I'm so sorry, sweetheart. We—we shouldn't have done it. I didn't know they would separate you. I didn't know. One day I came to see you, and you were gone, and she didn't know where you were, and I didn't—I didn't see you again until—where Michaela tried so hard… She tried so hard. I was gonna tell her about my girls, and she would have love you. She would have been such a good mother. She—" As David rambled on, Abby shook her head, not understanding him at all.

"Father, no… Listen to me, I don't care about that, I-I need to know about the night you were shot—" Suddenly the door opened and Katie ran back in the room with an irate doctor following her.

She quickly ran behind Abby as the doctor lured over them. "You girls must leave now! It's against hospital policy to—"

Abby stepped back, determination running through her. "We ain't leavin' until we hear everythin' he has to say!"

Two orderlies quickly filed in and stalked over to Katie and Abagail.

But David tightened his grip on Abagail's hand and glared into the doctor's eyes. "If you lay one hand on my girls I will slit your throat!"

The doctor held his hand up to the orderlies as David's eyes suddenly flashed to Katie's. "You… you found her, Caroline?"

Katie stared into David's eyes, watching the red swelling of the disease protrude around his face and neck. Her hands slid around Abby's middle, nearly hiding from him. A single tear fell from David's eye as she retreated. "Don't be shy, sweetheart. Come closer. I… I tried going back for you. I swear I did! I would have taken you with us. I was going to tell her, but when I didn't find you… everything seemed… it just slipped. I lost everything. My whole family was gone then. So I decided to start over."

David reached for Katie, his dying face glowing as though he was seeing happiness for the first time, "But I never forgot you, Lina. I never did."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 43 

**Part One: A Good Man**

_**1853—Cambridge, Massachusetts **_

"They're perfect, David." Suzanne smiled faintly as the sleeping twins lay beside her.

"Just like you," David whispered, as he ran his finger across Caroline's tiny face.

"How—how long can we keep this up?" Suzanne asked, blood draining from her face, as she draped her arms around her babies protectively.

"I don't know." David stood up and paced around the small dormitory room they had called their home for the last seven months. "My parents still don't know you're here."

"We could run away…" she whispered hesitantly, almost regretting it as he stopped in his tracks. David fell down on the other side of Lina, wrapping his arms around all three of them, not letting her pull away.

"Get married?" he suggested sheepishly.

Suzanne giggled self-consciously, as slight rouge appeared on her cheeks. "Are you actually proposing now? After I've given birth to your children?"

David caressed the side of her face with his free hand, peering into her violet eyes. "I know it's not the perfect time. I should have asked you a long time ago. But, I never claimed to be the perfect man. I'll make mistakes, but I'll always love you."

Suzanne couldn't breathe—none of this seemed real. "What about your degree? You're so close to being finished—"

"It's what my father wants for me, not what I want. I don't love medicine. Not like I love you. Not like I love my family. I want us to go places together. I want to change the world with you."

Lina cooed, as if she could understand her father, and Suzanne kissed the top of her head, looking at David through under her lashes. "If I was the perfect woman, I wouldn't be here. I'm so glad you found me."

David lifted her chin, trying not to grin just yet. "Is that a yes?"

Suzanne pulled her babies closer and smiled softly just before she kissed him. "It's not a no."

Frederick Ingle stumbled down the street, his heart beating rapidly, as he kept seeing Christine's face lying motionlessly on their bedroom floor. But it was her fault. Not his. She had deserved it.

Then he saw the house on Green Street. For a mother so vehement about protecting her daughter, her secrets had been easily discovered among her private things. His eyes roamed over the tall white columns. He scoffed at it. Big. Fine. So not what that little March brat deserved.

He stormed up the front steps, falling over himself as the white stairs began to collide with each other. This was her fault. If Susie could live in a place like this so could he.

Frederick hit the door three times, and then he heard the footsteps of dress shoes against hard wood. A lifeless maid opened the door, but when she saw Frederick Ingle, she stepped back, losing her grip on the knob, and screamed like she was seeing the devil.

Holland and Lina Lewis rushed out from the drawing room. "What in the world, Mary!" Mrs. Lewis asked, but then she saw the face of the stranger, and her reaction surpassed Mary's.

"Get out of here, you filthy varmint!" Holland stepped in front of his wife, shielding her.

"Where is she? Where's my Susie?" Frederick swayed, his eyes plays tricks as he knotted his fist and gripped the doorway.

"Suzanne?" Holland froze, losing some of his bravado as the man pushed his full, heavy weight against him.

"I _want_ her," he said simply, but with such a twisted tone that Lina became physically ill, and Holland saw Mrs. March's desperate gray eyes—an "uneasy" relationship with Suzanne's stepfather, she had said. He had no idea it had gone that far. He never found the time to ask. David had always taken care of her; he had never felt the need.

"She hasn't been here for months…" Holland sputtered and pushed back against the intruder. "Get out! We won't let you near that child! Get out! GET OUT!"

With all of his physical strength, Holland peeled him off of his body like a leech and threw him out the door. Frederick looked up, murder in his eyes. "You always defend the meek of the earth, _Reverend_? She screamed for me and called my name when I took her, and she belongs to no one but me! Do you understand that, Reverend? _No one but me_!"

Holland slammed the front door, trying to block the words he had just heard, but he was unable to stop them.

Lina almost floated back in the room, her face drawn and white with horror. She pushed her fallen strains of graying hair out of her face and whispered harshly to Holland, "We have to warn her, Hal. We have to."

"I wouldn't know where to start looking in New York, Lina."

"We'll go ask David tonight. I'm sure he knows where to find her. After all, they were such good friends."

"I'll tell Willis to get the carriage ready."

"They're finally sleeping," David whispered, as he slowly rocked their crib. "I think this means they approve."

Suzanne tried to open her eyes, but she winced in pain and gripped the sheets beside her. "David… Something's—not right—"

David left the crib and quickly went to her, sitting down on the edge of the bed. A thin sheen of sweat covered her face, and he felt her forehead. "You're burning up, Susie... Please let me take you to the infirmary!"

Suzanne gripped his wrists. "No…no doctors… I just want you."

"It's never been this high before. We'll _have_ to go to the infirmary—"

"NO!" She cried, shame in her fragile voice, "I don't want them to see—"

David leaned over her, turning her face gently until she looked at him. "Then let me see. Let me see. Show me where it hurts."

She stared at him, finding trust in his eyes, before letting go of his wrist as dragging her hand down to the sores. "Here."

David pulled back the sheets of the bed and carefully began to examine her. After he was finished, he swallowed, trying to moisten his dry throat, unable to hide the fear in his voice as he asked, "When did this start?"

"A few weeks after he-he…" Tears stopped her from continuing, and then she grabbed his hand. "It went away though. I thought it was gone. I thought I would get better."

David began to shake, his stomach sinking as he heard one of the babies sigh. "The first time when we—"

She turned away from him, her face red with self-loathing. "I was fine. I was so happy—I didn't think… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry."

David leaned over her, kissing her tear-stained skin, forgiving her. "It's ok… It's ok." He kissed her until her tears subsided. "We'll be fine. They just… They just showed up now?"

"No…" She shook her head, trying to breathe and maintain herself for him. "The last month I was carrying the girls. I started notices the spots again. But they went away when it was time. But now…"

"Alright. I'll take care of you. Don't worry." Suddenly Caroline cried out, and David jumped up and went to her, pulling her away from Lina and lifting her in his arms. She leaned her little head on David's chest and let out a mighty wail, her face reddening as if she were in pain. David began to pace with her, rubbing her back, but she just let out another scream, nothing calming her. She wasn't hungry, she wasn't wet. David quickly looked to Suzanne for help, but her eyes were closed, and her head was rocking back and forth on the pillow, as if she couldn't find support. "It's ok, Caroline. Daddy's going to make it all better. You're a strong girl, aren't you? You're daddy's strong little girl."

Suddenly, urgent knocking forced its way above the cries of the baby, and David stumbled about the room, unable to think clearly as his other little girl began to cry, startled by the abrasive sound. Her tiny arms shook in the air for attention, so he carefully switched Caroline to one shoulder and picked Lina up on the other side.

Then he stopped moving, as he heard the last person in the world he wanted to be with right now. "Son! What is going on in there!"

David fell mute, as his father yelled. His babies were pulling at his chest, needing him. Suzanne was ill, and he didn't know what to do that she would allow. And his father, who would never understand any of his choices, was standing outside.

"David, open this door now! I know you're inside! I can hear you!"

David looked to the large window as the girls continued to cry, and suddenly, he made his decision. He put the babies down on the bed and pulled out a large basket. He placed the blankets from their cradle in it and then carefully put each girl inside the basket. Then he grabbed Suzanne's coat and pulled her weak body out of the bed. He threw the coat around her and gently slapped the sides of her face. "I need you to walk, Suzanne, just for a little while. We've got to go—"

As he pulled her up on his side, Suzanne screamed out, as the pressure traveled through her body.

"Who's in there with you, David? If you don't open this door now, I will not hesitate to beat it down!"

Nothing moved fast enough, as David tried to carry Suzanne to the large window, and the world slowed down even more, as the knocking on the door turned to insistent pounding, and no matter how close he kept his girls and Suzanne, there was no way out.

A shot was fired.

When the lock broke, David stopped fighting and turned around. His father and mother burst in the small room, and they froze, staring at him.

"In God's name son, what have you done?" Holland dropped his hands, disappointment and guilt dripping from them like the Scottish wife's blood.

David trembled and tried to stand tall, as Suzanne leaned against him. "This is my family, father."

Holland looked towards the whimpering basket and back towards the fallen woman in his arms. "You don't have a family. Not this one."

David's mother looked horrified as her husband lifted his gun. "What are you _doing_, Hal!"

"I'm fixing this mess. It'll be like it never happened. Give me the basket, David," he ordered.

David gripped the basket, stepping back in the room. "I'm not letting you near my daughters."

Holland's face filled with rage. "You don't have daughters! YOU HAVEN'T SLEPT WITH THIS DISEASED WHORE! Look at her, David! Look at her! She's filthy!"

He shook his head, feeling like a small child under his father's control. "Don't talk about her like—"

Holland raised the gun, pointing it at David. "Don't you tell me how to talk, son. You were raised in a house where you _know_ better. Now give me those girls or I will rid them right here in front of you. Do you want that?"

"Not my babies… Please don't let him do it, David… Please!" Suzanne begged.

He couldn't breathe. His soul was gone in that moment. Slowly, David brought the basket over to his father. "They're your granddaughters," David whispered pleadingly.

"She better be gone too when I return."

Holland took the basket from David and left the room without looking back. Lina stepped up, confusion and pity in her eyes as she put her hands on her son's. "I'll find out where he's taken them. Don't worry, my love."

David turned around, looking desperately to Suzanne, but her eyes were towards the ceiling, somewhere between delirium and prayer.

_**September 15, 1857**_

He had seen her every night for almost four months. Somehow, he could almost forget the reality of his life, because being with her was like discovering beautiful innocence every new moment of the day. When David left Michaela on her front steps that evening, he did not go home that night. Instead, he walked. He walked all the way across Boston, caught a local steamer and crossed the River Charles to Cambridge. He walked through the dark streets, keeping his eyes on his boots. As he reached the Iron Gate fence, he gripped the precious treasure she had given him earlier that evening and waited for the old caretaker to let him inside.

"Everyone's asleep," the old woman whispered harshly at him, as she pulled her nightgown closely around her body.

David leaned against the door frame, catching his breath. "I need to see my girls."

"This is getting ridiculous Dr. Lewis!"

"I have to see them." The caretaker simply raised her eyebrows unsympathetically. David quickly grabbed his medical bag and shoved it in front of her face. "I—I have medication they need!"

"Fine. Come in." She opened the door for him, and as he began to ascend the stairs, she shook her head. "No, they've been permanently moved to the infirmary. Follow me."

David frowned and backtracked down the first two stairs, as she opened a door at the end of the hall. She raised her oil lamp and began to descend down the dark stairs. David's eyes dilated, and his heart began to pound with irreconcilable guilt, as he realized his daughters had been locked in the basement of an orphanage.

As they reached the bottom, the temperature dropped, and sounds of small life could be heard crawling around on the stone floor. She pushed open a door, and there they were. Caroline was in an agitated sleep, shaking through each breath. Lina was on the floor, leaning against the bed, holding Caroline's hand.

Lina's head lifted slightly, as she peered through the darkness into the vague light, "Daddy?" she whispered.

David dropped his bag on the floor and quickly ran to her, picking her up off the cold ground. "I'm here, sweet girl. Let's get you back in bed, all right?"

Lina leaned her head on his shoulder, shaking it tiredly. "But she's cold. I—I can't leave her alone."

"I'll take care of her now. I don't want you getting any worse." David quickly tucked Lina back in her small bed. He turned around and glared at the caretaker. "Why don't they have thicker blankets? It's freezing down here!"

The caretaker raised her eyebrow at him. "They're your daughters. You could easily take them out of here and put them in a real hospital."

David winced, his stomach churning as he thought of his father, and he quickly went to Caroline. He opened the front of her nightgown and began to apply the mercury plaster directly to her chancres. Caroline opened her eyes briefly and almost began to speak, but David quieted her, telling her to rest. He lifted her neck and inserted a small mercury pill into her mouth. Caroline gagged on it, as he quickly reached for the pitcher of water. "There, there, there," he said as he brought it to her lips. He quickly took off his overcoat, as she continued to shiver, and he covered her with his coat. "Dream of sweet things, Caroline."

David turned to Lina, who was wide-awake and staring at him. He stood up slowly and sat down on the edge of her bed. "I brought you some good medicine—"

"I don't like it… I don't want it, Daddy," Lina began to cry, as she covered up her small chancres across her neck and chest.

David dropped his head. "I know… I know, sweetheart… But it's the only thing we have right now. If I knew of something else, I'd use it."

A single tear dropped down Lina's cheek. "Please don't make me take it."

David sighed and kissed her cheek, wiping the tear away. "I'll make you a deal."

"What?" Slowly, David pulled out the pocket watch Michaela had given him and held it in his palm for Lina.

Lina's lavender eyes sparkled for a moment, as she looked at the beautiful watch, and she slowly took it out of her father's hand. David smiled softly, as her eyes traveled around the gold watch, and then with a little effort, she opened it.

"Who is she?" Lina asked, as she stared at Michaela's beautiful face.

David leaned on his fist. "Did I ever tell you about fairy godmothers, Lina?"

Lina shook her head, her interest peeked. "Uh uh."

David pointed at the picture in the watch. "She's ours. She makes dreams come true. You know what I wished?"

Lina brought the watch closer, touching the face of the beautiful fairy godmother. "What?"

David smoothed her tangled, blonde hair away out of her face. "That you, me, and Caroline could all be together one day and be a real family."

Lina dropped the watch, and it slipped on the floor. "What about Mama?"

David sighed, immediately picking up the watch. He looked at Michaela's picture. He could feel Lina's eyes on him, and he could hear Caroline breathing. But the clock had stopped ticking. "Mama's very sick, Lina. She may never be well again."

Lina was quiet. She waited to speak until he finally turned around and looked at her. "She didn't take the medicines?"

He closed the broken watch. "Not soon enough, baby."

Lina put her hand over his, making him look at her. "It makes you real sad, doesn't it?"

David nodded quickly, unable to speak.

"But you'll be happy if I take the medicines?"

David smiled sadly. "That would make me happy."

"Will it make me better?" Lina looked down, biting her lip, as she felt the sore bumps on her flesh.

David looked away from her, catching the glow of the moon in the small window. "I can't promise you that, Lina."

Lina pushed up off the bed, her tiny body weak and groggy, but her mind still sharp and hopeful. She ran her hand down the long chain of the watch. "Maybe if we make a wish? You think the fairy godmother will hear us?"

David wrapped his arms around her, supporting her. "She might."

She dropped her head on his shoulder and whispered, "I'll take it for you, Daddy."

"Thank you. And I want you to keep this for me." He placed the watch in her tiny palm. "Make a wish on it every night before you go to bed. And one day, the fairy godmother will make all our dreams come true."

"I will." Then without words, David began to administer the mercury treatments. Lina stared up to the ceiling, as the poisonous medicine seeped into her system, hating every minute as her skin inflamed with red heat, blurring the lines between the healthy and sick tissue.

Once it was over, David tucked her in, watching as her eyes began to flutter with drowsiness. He looked to Caroline, who had fallen into a deep sleep.

"Don't leave, Daddy," Lina mumbled, sleep eminent.

"I have to go, sweetheart, but I'll be back tomorrow with warm blankets for you and your sister."

"Daddy… d-don't—" But she was asleep. David sighed, kissing her cheek one last time, before he picked up his things and left his girls.

_**1873—Boston Hospital **_

Abby looked at Katie desperately, David's hands still reaching out for her. "Ya have to talk to him, Katie," she whispered, "It's the only way we're gonna find out anythin'."

Katie inched forward, not letting go of Abby's waist, as she slowly put her left fist in David's hand. "I-it's me."

"You're angry with me, aren't you?" David's bloodshot eyes searched hers for truth.

Katie frowned, wishing she were theatrical like Abby. "I don't know."

"I should have told you the truth, not fairytales. I didn't know if she'd stay with me if she knew. But when I saw her with Caroline, I knew she'd love you. But then everything broke. You never wanted to take it, did you? You said it hurt. I didn't understand until… it got bad. Until I saw Mama just…being eaten alive. I never understood how medicine could work like that. Michaela tired so hard. How could I tell her she was fighting a losing battle?"

"You… you could have warned her." Katie leaned closer to him, her eyes holding back years of pain. "S-she never had a chance to live because of you. Because of your doubt. Because you didn't trust her. Y-you tried to make her you."

David's chest rose as she hit him with her words, and even then, he knew he could never make her understand. "No Lina… I tried to save her… I did."

Katie's stomach churned at the words. "Wh-when? When did you save her?"

A tear fell down David's dry eyes. "When your mother shot us all."

Abby looked up. "Did you hear that, Doctor?"

The doctor nodded, stepped forward and whispered something into one of his attendant's ear. The young man was soon out the door.

"Ok, Katie… Ya did good," Abby whispered, trying to pull her little sister away from David, but Katie stayed steely in place.

Katie glared into David eyes and began to speak in perfectly clear English. "Did you know how alone I was? Did you know that? No. Because you do not know who I am. I did not know what my mother looked like because of you. You were so scared and weak that you never thought about who else you might affect with your selfishness. Everything is a dream to you, but life is not a dream. It is not a hope. It is now, and you have taken away so many of my moments. But, you do not even know, do you? I do not know who Lina is, but I do know that she deserved better than a father like you."

Katie pushed back from the bed, pulling her hand from David's grasp and squirming out of Abby's arms, until she was standing on her own two feet. Her back straightened and she stood tall, like a bolt in the sky and looked at David one last time. "I will forget you," she swore, before turning around and running out of the room.

Panic seized him, as he watched her tear away, and he nearly shot up out of the bed, reaching after her. "Don't leave me, Lina!"

There was no answer, as his heart broke.

"Lina…Don't—"

Abagail screamed, as he fell back, his hands spread to Heaven's as if he were asking God for forgiveness.

_**1893—New York Public Library**_

Lina stared at the picture, unable to fully comprehend what he was asking her. Finally, she closed her eyes, trying to think of why she had a picture of his mother, but all she could see were silent wishes every night, hoping her fairy godmother would come, and dreaming her daddy would find her and rescue her.

Finally, she said, "It's my father's watch. I've had it since I was a little girl."

"Who's your father?" Stephen asked quickly, kneeling down in front of her.

She shook her head self-consciously. "I… I don't know. I was barely five the last time I saw him. He…was just _daddy_."

"Why would he have my mother's picture?" Stephen asked, suddenly panicking.

Lina stood up, dressing quickly as she felt the pressure of his eyes and questions. "I don't know… He—he didn't tell me anything about her. I didn't think she was real."

"Not real?" Stephen couldn't hide the anger in his voice. "What did he say?"

"That she was our hope… That she made dreams come true. I—I don't know." She pushed her hair back behind her ears nervously. "Why are you asking me this?"

Stephen paused, digesting everything she was telling him. "My mother has only been involved with two men—my father and David Lewis. Such gifts are never given lightly."

The silence in the room was sickening.

"David Lewis… That woman in the asylum… She shot your mother... Your mother was in prison all those years because of him—" Lina's body stiffened, as realization washed over her slowly. Then she looked at Stephen's face. His young, caring, nearly innocent face. She wouldn't change a single thing about him. She wouldn't age him, she wouldn't add any pain, she wouldn't create any illness or heartache. She stood up abruptly, tying her scattered skirts, catching her coat around her shoulders. Her stomach lurched, and she couldn't stand to look at him anymore. "Excuse me—"

Before Stephen could stop her, Lina ran out of the main reading room and into the hallway. He ran after her, and by the time he got there, the swinging door of the ladies' washroom was the only evidence of her presence.

Stephen pushed through the door and found her on her hands and knees in front of the latrine. He quickly put his hands on her back and pushed back her hair as she emptied the contents of her stomach. When she finished she fell back on her knees and pushed away from him. "Don't touch me!"

"Lina—" Stephen reached for her again, but she held up her hand covering her scars.

"You hate my family. Y-you think they're monsters—" She covered her face, falling into herself. "What you must think of me—"

"It's not you, Lina. You're wonderful… I didn't know your father; I didn't. I just know how my family's been affected. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"

"I loved him! I would have died if he hadn't made me take those horrible treatments, did you know that? I can't judge him with you. I can't. I can't condemn him. I know what it's like to be that sick. If he got as bad as you say he did, he should have been in a hospital. But nobody was there to take care of him. Everybody ignores people like us. The diseased. The unwanted. We have to hide it, or we are eventually thrown out. Discarded." Lina pushed off the tile floor, drying her eyes, but Stephen stopped her, and grabbed her hand.

"What are ya doin'?" He asked, utterly confused.

"I'm going before you get too close and see something you don't want," Lina took her hand away and ran out of the restroom. Stephen hesitated for a moment, but then he ran after her. The moment was too long. She was gone, and he couldn't find her anywhere.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Part Two: November 5**_

_**1900—Eastbound Train to Boston**_

Brian stood up, despite the unstable ground below him, and turned towards the voice. The little girls giggled mischievously and hid behind his trench coat as the woman clearly called their names. Brian moved to the door, and before he could open it, she was standing there in the glass.

"Katie?" Brian whispered disbelievingly. Katie stopped, paralyzed as she looked into Brian's eyes. Her hair was darker, coppery like her mother's and free-flowing down her back. She was older, but her features were sharper, wilder, and she had only become so much more herself. The only change that marred her beauty was a deep, aged scar across her right eyebrow.

A wash of emotions flashed over her face, and at the same time, she and Brian reached for the door handle, both attempting to reach each other. Finally Brian let go, and Katie burst inside the room, her arms circling his neck immediately. Brian inhaled her, his heart swelling as he buried his face in her hair. He could smell the lavender immediately, and for a split second, it was like holding Abby again.

The little girls stepped back from them and sat on the seats wide eyed and watched the scene at hand. Katie pulled back, staring urgently into Brian's eyes. "Brian, it is so… I cannot believe I am looking at you! How is my family? Abby? Your little girl? You must have a dozen children by now—"

Brian cleared his throat, pushing back from her awkwardly even as he kept a hold of her hand. He eyed the absorbed little girls, and then looked back at Katie. Urgent anger entered his voice despite his best efforts, "Uh…Where have ya been, Katie? Why didn't ya come back? Your family really needed ya. Especially your ma."

"Not in front of my girls, all right?" Katie whispered, a shadow falling over her face, before she turned to Kayla and Gail who sat quietly and confused side by side on the seat. She bent down in front of them and put a hand on both of their knees as she gave them quiet instructions. Brian stepped back and really observed the two girls—one was a little older than the other, but they both had the same golden hair, deep olive complexions, and piercing dark eyes. They were indeed her daughters. But seeing them and seeing her face, he could only imagine what kept her away all these years.

"Ok Mommy," Gail stood up, taking her little sister's hand. Her eyes stayed fast on Brian's as she left the compartment, and Brian swore the child knew what he had to tell her mother already.

Katie waited until the girls made their way down the corridor until she began to speak. She wrung her hands together, pacing the length of the compartment until she was face to face with him. "The girls know very little about my life before. I try to keep them moving in the present as best I can."

"Katie… What happened to you?" Katie began pacing again, laughing nervously.

"It is strange being with you. No one has called that in years. People call me Katherine usually."

Brian stood still, watching her nervous movements. "Your family believes you are dead, Katie. Why didn't ya send word?"

Katie exhaled, her blue eyes flashing regret, anger, and sorrow. "I wanted to, but it was impossible after I left Joel."

Brian's mouth dropped, shocked and disgusted. "Ya mean _Major Elliot_? He told me himself that ya were dead! He brought Sully your bloody clothes—"

Katie stopped moving, her right leg shaking as her head dropped guiltily. "I know."

Brian put his hands on her shoulders. "Katie…"

"I should have died when I jumped. I wanted to when I believed that No Harm had left me. But something stopped me… I don't know. I heard Abby's voice calling me, telling me I had to come home to her, so I fought against the currents and swam to the shore. But when I woke up, I was in the Major's tent. It was night. And my clothes…" Her voice broke, and she was unable to continue.

Brian pulled Katie into his arms protectively, his jaw tightening. "Did he hurt ya? Did he?"

Katie pulled back, shaking her head bravely. "He never hurt me physically. Not after the first time he beat me in the homestead. But… we're married, Brian."

Brian stepped back, and hit the side of the cabin with his fist. "What? Katie… Damn it! I should have stayed and looked for ya. I'm so sorry."

"No... I'm all right. Do not feel guilty. It was not your fight. Besides, my sister needed you. How is she?" Brian looked down and took both of Katie's hands in his. She looked into his eyes for a split second, and as soon as she saw the sadness there, she pulled her hands away and began pacing the room again. "I figured you would be successful. Always working. I bet Abby hates it too. Did you leave her at home with the kids? Is that where she is?"

"Katie… Abby's not at home." Katie laughed stiffly, pulling her hands around her waist as she avoided Brian's touch, even as he tried to reach her.

"Did she leave you? Were you making eyes at that another woman again? Is that what happened? Because if you did—" Katie glared at Brian as he stepped closer, cornering her, as he couldn't look at her anymore.

"Ya know she's the only woman I've ever loved," Brian touched the side of her face, and Katie winced as he drew her closer to him.

"No…" She shook her head fiercely as he held her face immobile. "I do not believe you."

"Katie, that night…" She pushed at his chest, trying to block out his words.

"NO!" She gripped the sides of his face and stared into his lonely blue eyes. "Do you hear me? I said no!"

"She died, Katie," Brian said with heavy grief, forcing her to listen. "I'm sorry—"

"NO!" Katie screamed out, the truth that had been swimming in her blood finally pouring out of her soul and body without repression. Brian held her close and sat back down on the seat until she slid to the ground beside him, her tears shattering him and herself, as she asked him what happened, to not leave out a word, not a single word, to not spare her any guilt or pain, and then he told her everything as he remembered it.

When they got to now, they didn't notice the eyes of two little girls that had returned to the door, watching them. They were lost in the story, the memories, trying to find a way to hold on to their loves in the past.

"Come with me to Boston," Brian whispered. "Your mother needs you so much."

"I have stayed away to protect my family. If Joel finds us… Brian, you do not know what I have done. You do not know what he will do."

"I'll protect you. Michaela needs you, Katie. Maybe if she saw you, something might happen. She might remember."

Katie sighed, feeling the presence of her little girls. She held out her hand for them, and they both came inside. She turned back to Brian. "All right… We will come."

Brian smiled. "Good."

_**November 6, 1900—Boston**_

Michaela looked into his eyes as he said his name—Sully. It was a name. Just a simple name that meant nothing to her, yet when she looked in this man's face, she knew she was more loved than any woman could ever hope for, yet she could feel him slipping away even still. He had been her lover for nearly ten years, except last night when he had grown morose over the course of the day, and nothing she could do or say could cheer him up.

They had been sitting in the parlor the day before, and she had been working through some of the old beads Sully had brought with them from Colorado. Even though she wasn't very skilled, they were relaxing to her, except for today. She had become particularly agitated. Her entire body didn't want to function, and she had sighed in frustration, staring at Sully as she had given up, "I have no patience for this!"

Sully's head had flown up from his papers, and he had dropped his pin suddenly. "What?"

She had held up the half-finished piece of craft. "This medicine wheel. My hands don't seem to be cooperating today."

Sully had smiled sadly, his eyes somewhere else as he had whispered, "If Katie was here, she'd help ya. Like she always did for—" And then Michaela had watched Sully stop, as his face lost all color, and he had stood up from his desk and walked to the window, staring out at the late fall day.

Then he had asked her solemnly, "What's today?"

She had stood up and walked behind him, but didn't dare touch him as fear he might run away. "It's November 5th."

"It's not a good day for makin' things," he had said, his voice low and emotional. "I'm gonna go take a walk in the park."

She had tried to take his hand. "I'll go with you—"

"No sweetheart. I need to be alone." And he had left their house quietly, just as he had returned. She had waited for him, but he had never come to her. And as she looked at him now, she could still see them same weight and sadness from the day before.

"No Sully…" she said, pushing the chair back behind her and falling to her knees in front of him. "I need to know everything about us. I don't care if it hurts. I don't care if it kills me. I can't keep losing you a little bit every day like this. That's killing me, Sully."

Sully shook his head. "Ya don't even know why you're with me."

"No. Do you know why you're still with me? I must be as strange to you as you are to me, but there's still this… need. I know you're not just anyone to me." She placed her forehead against his heart, hearing every single beat. "Tell me. And if it's too much, you can stop. But we can't live like this anymore, Sully."

"All right." Sully slid his hands down her back, acquiescing. "All right. But not here. Not here. I want to take ya somewhere."

_**1900—The Beach**_

_**2**_

She took his hand, calloused with aged, but gentle and tender, as he led her down the strange path. They were going to see the ocean today, he said. The cold wind blew off the sound and as Michaela's feet hit the gravely sand, she felt Sully's protective arms wrap around her waist.

She looked out to the flapping ocean waves, crashing as they hit the shore. A jagged rock settled amongst the waves, and they danced around it like laughing children. She closed her eyes and listened to the water meeting rock like cymbals crashing. Then as if a music box had been opened, a girl's clear laughter echoed on the beach, and her eyes flew open.

Sully's hands tightened around hers as he felt her tense, and he asked, "What is it, sweetheart?"

She peered into the distance, looking at the clear horizon with nothing in sight. She shook her head as she loosened her grip on his hands. "It's nothing. I could have sworn though… It's nothing."

Silence fell between them, and Sully took a deep breath.

"I…I was born out there," Michaela turned in his arms, nodding gratefully as he finally told her something about himself.

"Thank you," she whispered, "Thank you."

He took her hand, walking over a few paces. "I told ya this once before… right here."

"And what did I say?"

Sully squint his eyes as he tried to remember that cold January night. "You said something about how comin' back now was good for me even though the ocean made me restless. And I disagreed. I said it was you that made the difference."

"Did we often disagree?"

"Sometimes. We had a hard, hard time gettin' married." Michaela's face suddenly lit up.

"So we _are _married? How long?" She grabbed his hand playfully and Sully laughed, never realizing that some of this actually might be enjoyable.

"Depends." Sully looked down at their joined hands. "Soul-ly or legally?"

"_What_?" Michaela furrowed her brow.

"We were married by the Cheyenne Chief Black Kettle in 1863. Then we had a traditional wedding ceremony 10 years later." Michaela narrowed her eyes at Sully.

"So we did fight, huh?" She grinned ever so slightly.

"But we were always fightin' for each other." Michaela swallowed. She believed that, especially about him. He had never stopped, even when she had.

She turned around, facing him. "What happened next?"

"Ya took my hand and led me to a path over here."

"Can you show me?" Michaela held out her hand for him.

"Yeah." They slowly walked towards the patch of trees. Sully looked down the path, remembering the whiteness, and her cold feet and stockings. His voice was husky with memories, "I had to carry ya because the snow was so deep."

Michaela slid her hand around his waist, catching the glimmer in his eye. "Can we walk side by side this time?"

He smiled, pulling her close as they walked along the path. "I'd like that."

"Whose place is this?" She asked as they came upon the cottage. Sully pushed the door open and allowed her entry.

"It belongs to you now. But it was your grandparents' cottage." Michaela's eyes traveled over the dated but distinctly Irish decorations of the cottage. It was well-kept and cozy, with colorful wool blankets across the sofa and scattered pictures of family over every inch of the walls and furniture.

"Who—who's kept it up so well?" Michaela asked, spinning in a circle, overwhelmed by its simple beauty.

"I come here once a week. It's… it's where I keep all of our family pictures," Sully said sheepishly as he went to go light the fire. Michaela stared at him in astonishment and shook her head. She began to walk the room, staring at each and every picture, too many to even take in. She stopped when she came up what was clearly their second wedding picture. She stared at her face, nearly thirty years ago, and his face, equally as young.

"My God, you were handsome," she muttered under her breath.

Sully pushed up off the ground, using the mantle for support as he put obvious strain on his back. "What's wrong with me now?"

"Nothing. You just look like me, that's all." Sully smiled and walked over to her, pushing a falling gray and copper hair back behind her ear.

"I'll look like you any day. You're beautiful." Michaela grinned and looked back at the picture, unable to stop herself from wondering what it was like when they were young.

"I have more pictures of our family if you want to see. It might be easier this way." Sully suggested, holding at his hand for her.

The words rang in her ear and scared at the same time. She looked at his open hand. "Our family?"

Sully led her over in front of the fire. He picked up a photo album and held it in front of her.

"Yeah. We have a beautiful family, Michaela." Michaela sank down on the couch, her face lost.

"I want to see them. Show me their pictures."

Sully nodded and opened the book to the second page. He sat down beside her and pointed to a laughing toddler. "This is our son. He's two years old in this picture. Ya see how he has his hands over his eyes? He used to hide from us and when he would jump out, he would yell, "Boo!" at the top of his lungs, and… and we've been—."

Michaela leaned up, looking at the happy child, the connection hitting her like a thousand bricks. "Doc Boo? That beautiful boy is…is mine?"

Michaela touched the baby picture, trying to see the man in the little boy. It all made sense now. How he cared for her, his fascination with medicine, his sadness. He loved her. He was her son.

Michaela doubled over, her stomach aching as she thought about her son. Sully picked her up. "Michaela… Are ya alright? Is this too much?"

She nodded, wiping her eyes. "Why didn't I see it? Why didn't I? He's worked so hard, ever since I've known him. He must hate me for not knowing him. Has he gotten enough love? Did you love him enough for us?"

Sully wrapped his arms around his head, fortifying her. "He knows he's loved, Michaela. He's never doubted it. Don't ya worry about that. And you've loved him. Ya did it without even knowin' sometimes. Sometimes we don't need to hear the words to feel it."

"Have you felt loved?" She asked nervously.

He kissed her temple and whispered just above her ear, "Even when we were miles apart, I felt it. I didn't get to touch ya that much when we were young. But my heart was always full of ya."

She nodded and leaned into him, "What separates us?"

Sully shook his head. "Time. Bad memories. Good memories. Guilt. Too many things we can't control."

"Tell me the good memories first," she asked, straightening her body.

Sully nodded, exhaling. He flipped the page, unsure how far he should take this, but once he saw his daughter's face, he knew Michaela needed to know her. "Well. There's two really good ones, besides Boo. Loren actually took this picture of you two. Abby was just learnin' how to walk, and ya took her out to the meadow. This is right after she fell for the first time."

"Her hair!" Michaela laughed as she ran her fingers across Abby's ringlets. "And those dark eyes… I can tell she was quite a handful. But…I don't see myself in her. I barely see you."

Sully nodded, meeting her questioning eyes. "Ya loved her like your own though. Abby was our oldest. Her mother died in childbirth."

"Oh," Michaela whispered, not daring to ask the questions she was longing to, as her palms grew sweaty touching the sweet girl's picture. Logic didn't follow. She had seen Boo practically everyday she could remember. Where was their daughter?

But her questions seized as Sully flipped the page, and her throat nearly garroted itself as she stared at the photograph of the girl, around ten or eleven years old, curled in her lap, asleep. Sully whispered, "Katie was too big, but you didn't care. Neither did she. She missed ya a lot when she was growing up, so you two would go out on the porch at night sometimes, just before Stephen was born and when Abby started runnin' around with her friends, and you would sing our Kates to sleep."

Michaela stared at how she clung to the girl, how close and loving they seemed. What did such intimacy with a child feel like? "She's beautiful. I wish—"

"What?" Sully asked, unfettered hope appearing in his eyes.

"I wish I knew her now. Because when I look at this picture, I… I… just don't feel anything." Sully stood up, his jaw setting.

"Maybe this was a bad idea." He closed the picture album and began to pace around the room.

"What? No Sully, I—"

"No, Michaela. I've been worried all these years that you'd breakdown if I told you about the children, about our lives. But what I never thought about is how I'd feel if you didn't react at all. If ya still felt the same way after that you've been feelin' since I lost ya! Ya loved those kids more than your own life, Michaela! Don't ya understand that? Can't ya feel that inside of yourself?"

Michaela stood up and walked to the other end of the couch. "I'm sorry, Sully! If I could be everything you wanted right now, I would, but I can't! I can't! I just know that you're leaving me and there's nothing I can do to stop you!"

Sully, not understanding her fear, screamed, "I'm right_ here_, sweetheart!"

"Stop calling me _sweetheart_!" Suddenly, she grabbed a framed picture of herself as a child, dancing freely on the beach, and flung it across the room, smashing the frame on the mantle. The picture floated down, down, down, in front of the fire, and suddenly, Michaela saw the girl before she went up in flames.

"Oh my God," she whispered.

_**1840—The Beach**_

She ran out on the beach, hearing the seagull's call and the roar of the waves against her rock. Michaela ran to meet the tide, letting the foam circle around her ankles like a pair of socks . She squealed as the chilly water tickled her feet, and she jumped up and down, singing a made up song as she danced down the shoreline.

"Mike!" Josef called from the tree line. Michaela turned around, her dress half-soaked, but a bright, uncaring smile lighting her face.

"Yes, father!" The girl answered cheerfully.

"Come in soon, sweetheart! The sky doesn't look like it's going to hold!"

Just a few more minutes, please!" Michaela begged.

"Alright! Just a few more minutes." Elizabeth joined him, lacing her arm through Josef's.

"Please tell me you got a picture of her this afternoon! She's positively angelic!"

Josef laughed and patted Elizabeth's hand. "Don't worry. I managed to get one a few minutes ago when she wasn't looking." He pointed to the camera standing at the base of the trees.

"All right. Why don't you pack up while she finishes. Martha almost has supper ready."

Michaela splashed amongst the waves, running and falling as she twirled in the water. Suddenly, beyond their sound, a grand sailboat glided by, southward bound.

"Look, father!" Michaela cried, point to the majestic boat, the vessel mounting far grander in the child's eyes than her father's.

"I see, Mike! I see!" He laughed as he put away the camera.

"Hello!" Michaela yelled out to the sailboat, jumping up and down, trying to get its attention. "Hello!"

She got no response, but natural persistence kicked in and she began chasing it down the beach line, waving at the bright white sails. Suddenly a young boy's head popped over the mast and he waved back, "Hey!"

Michaela laughed and kept running, tripping over her soggy wet feet as she tried to catch up to the swiftly moving sailboat. Josef looked up and realized that she was no longer in his periphery. He put down the camera and walked down to the shoreline. "Mike!" he called out as he caught her tiny figure in the distance. "Mike, come back here!"

"Come sailin' with us!" the boy cried out, his eyes sparking and brilliant, as he leaned over the mast, reaching out for her as if he could touch her.

She giggled, reaching out herself, as her cheeks flushed from heat and something else. "Okay!" she said heedlessly. "You have to slow down and wait for me though!"

The boy looked down, joy and reckless excitement in his voice, "Hey Daniel! Tell the Captain to slow down! We're gonna go sailin' with the prettiest girl I ever seen!"

A smile spread across her face as she ran faster, and she was so close to him, she could feel the zephyrs and sprays and the turns of the boat already. The boy was smiling at her like she was the only girl in the world, not looking ahead, not looking behind, and she found herself caught high in his eyes, forgetting about the ground and the path she was running.

It was blinding but clear at the same time. If her arm could stretch distances, he would have pulled her up and she would have left her family and past behind. If he could fly, he would have jumped, from the heights of the mast down to where she ran, leaving the ship and sails to go on without him.

But the Captain was not a believer in childhood whims. The boat did not slow down even as Michaela stumbled over her feet to catch up to it. "Wait!" she called out, "Don't leave me!"

"Stop!" The boy cried out again, as she fell behind the boat, "Stop! We're losin' her!"

A rough wind fell came up above the stern, and the Captain screamed, "Get down from there, Byron! You're gonna get your head blown off!"

"I gotta see her! We gotta stop, Captain!" Just as he pushed up as tall as he could, the zephyr knocked him over the mast and he fell down to the bottom of the hull.

"No!" Michaela yelled as she began to run out to the water, but the boat kept sailing on, and she didn't see any sign of the boy anymore, no movement, nothing, only the Captain's screams to _get up, get up now! This is no time for foolin' around, you dreamer! _ But there was still no sound from the boy as she swam out to the icy water even as the sailboat drifted further and further away from sight, out of reach, and suddenly, she was alone in the cold Atlantic water, much farther than she had intended to go, and she could hear her father's voice screaming from the shore, _Mike, Mike! Where are you, Mike?_ But she still saw the bright smile of the boy, that beautiful boy as he held out his hand and offered her happiness, even as her limbs grew cold and tired, she could still seem him, even as water filled her lungs she imagined them sailing along the shore together, but then there was cold blackness and nothing else.

"Mike!" Michaela inhaled a deep breath of air as he cradled her in his arms on the beach, shaking as his daughter finally breathed again. "Oh thank God! Oh my sweet girl!"

He hugged her tightly as both of their soaked bodies sought warmth. "What… what in the world… What in the world were you doing out that far?"

Michaela opened her eyes, finding her reflection in her father's, searching for the answer there, discovering the only one she could find, "I…I don't know, father."

_**1900—The Beach**_

"You were the boy," Michaela whispered as the last trace of her girlhood disintegrated into cinders. "He wouldn't stop. The Captain wouldn't stop for you. You asked me to go sailing—"

Sully frowned, not following her. "Michaela?"

She walked towards the fire, watching the broken glass and cinders. "We must have been about seven or eight. We were so young. And we didn't care about anything. You were so high—on top of the sails."

Sully followed her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Michaela, Michaela… Stop… I told ya. I don't like the ocean. It makes me nervous and restless. I haven't been out there since I was young, after my accident."

She turned her head. A tear fell down her cheek. "You fell."

Sully froze, confused by her memories. "How'd ya know?"

"I saw you." She touched the side of his face, so much older. She looked into his eyes. They had hardly seen anything then. "I saw you. I tried to go to you, but the water was too cold."

Sully stiffened, uncomfortable as she overwhelmed him. "Michaela… That's—"

"I knew you," she laughed, not hearing, "I knew you all along."

"But do you know me now?" He asked, desperate to find a connection they both remembered. Her eyes searched his, just like he had always searched hers.

"You don't remember, do you?" She asked. Sully shook his head, regretfully. "It's ok. We made no promises. We were just children on a whim."

They stood polar opposite, yet they were so close. "Michaela…"

"Shh… We don't need anymore guilt now." She buried her face in his neck, inhaling his scent, inhaling him. Suddenly, she was no longer running. She stopped and pulled back, remembering her earlier words, "You never called me sweetheart. Only Dr. Mike or Michaela."

Sully didn't say a word. He simply watched her as she backed up from him and walked around the room. She leaned against the sofa, feeling the fabric underneath on her flesh. The fire crackled and sent sparks into his eyes. "You unhooked my stockings on this couch. And we made love on that floor."

Sully nodded once, watching her as she went back to pictures on the wall, stopping in front of a picture of Katie. "She had a stutter because…because… Oh God—I had to leave her when she was a baby. She only knew the Cheyenne, and she was so alone."

Then she stopped in front of a picture of Abagail and Stephen. "He was the only one. He was the only one with her—"

Like a flood, it all came back to her, and she felt the magnitude of her denial in full force. She couldn't breath, and the weight of it all returned to her as if it had all just happened, and she ran out of the cottage without looking back.

Sully chased her down the path, his heart beating rapidly as his body tried to keep up with his will. She burst through the tree line and ran down the shore as she tried to get away from the pain, but Sully was still faster than her, and he reached out, grabbing her hand, stopping her before she reached the water. "Stop running! You have to stop!"

"It hurts too much, Sully!" She hit his chest as hard as she could, pushing away from him.

"It won't bring them back, Michaela. It won't bring them back! You have to stop and just stand with me!" Michaela wavered on her feet as he held her shoulders, and finally she collapsed around his feet.

"Why didn't you stop for me?" She cried, "Why couldn't you have stopped?"

Sully slid down beside her, searching his memory, still only recalling muted warnings from the Captain, he whispered, "If I knew what I know now, I would have jumped off that boat and swam straight to ya."

"Would you trade this life for that one?" She whispered, curling into his body as the tides circled them.

"No." Sully held her, staring out at the night sky. "Every moment's been precious to me in this one. I couldn't love ya love more."

Her hand found his way to his heart. "I love you. You know that?"

He covered it with his own. "Yeah. I know you."


	17. Chapter 17

_**Epilogue**_

_**1900—The Beacon Hill House**_

"Everythin' looks real good, Mama," Stephen announced after he finished examining her.

"You think so, Boo?" She smiled, eagerly reaching for his hand. Sully smiled, as her disposition seemed to slowly be returning to normal. Her grief over the girls was still acute, and both he and Stephen watched her closely, but Stephen seemed to believe that a relapse was improbable, since the source of her memory dilapidation began when she was a child, not as an adult.

Suddenly a persistent knock pelted the front door, and Sully rose to his feet. "I'll get it. You two finish up here."

Sully flung open the door, and quickly recognized Brian, but was taken back by the number of guests with him. "Brian, I—"

Then she stepped forward, freezing his words in the air. "Pa?" Katie's voice trembled.

Sully shook his head, as he looked at her, his hand going over his heart as it swelled with disbelief and relief and anger and joy all at once. "Kates? I must be losin' my mind—"

Katie rushed forward, taking his hands in hers. "No Pa! I'm here. I'm right here, Papa!"

Sully pulled her into his arms and hugged her fiercely. Gail and Kayla stood awkwardly in the doorway watching their mother. Gail looked up at Brian and tugged on his sleeve. "Is Mama gonna be happy now?"

Brian smiled at the little girl and observed Katie. He didn't know how to answer that at all.

Suddenly, Stephen and Michaela came out of the parlor upon hearing all of the commotion. Michaela stopped once she saw her grown daughter in her father's arms.

Katie looked up and peered at her mother. "Mama? Do you know me?" Katie's voice was close to desperate.

Michaela didn't say anything. She simply engulfed her daughter in her arms. It was as close to peace and calm as she had felt in years, as she held her little girl. Over time, Michaela finally let Katie go, and the rest of the party was let in the house, as stories and tales were swapped, acquaintances were made, and hearts were mended. Not everything was disclosed, but there was always more time for that. Some matters of the heart were best kept hidden.

He had been standing outside the house for three hours now, unsure of what to do. The address was right, he was sure of it, but those people were so different from him. Still, he couldn't let his mother down.

He swallowed and took a deep breath as he mounted the stairs. He wasn't tall enough to reach the door knocker, so he simply resorted to pounding on the door.

Stephen stood up and walked to the door, his heart full and light for once in his life. His mother, father and sister were all here and together again. Even Brian had a smile on his face that evening. He opened the door and looked out, seeing no one, but then the young boy cleared his throat.

"Um… Excuse me, sir," the boy swallowed, obviously shy.

Stephen bent down, trying to make the boy feel more comfortable. "Can I help you, son?"

"Um… I—I need to speak to the Doctor please." The boy twisted his feet on the ground awkwardly.

"There's two doctors here, Doctor Sully and Doctor Quinn. Do ya know which one you need?" Stephen asked patiently.

"Uh… Is there a Doc Boo?"

"Then ya want me," Stephen chuckled.

"My mother needs you, Doc Boo. She wants you to come with me right away."

The little boy grabbed his hand and began to pull Stephen out the doorway. "Whoa!" Stephen stopped him. "I don't even know where we're going, who your mother is or who you are, young man."

"We… we live down the street… um… and Mama says you know her. Come on!"

"What's your name?" Stephen asked, as he grabbed his coat and medical bag.

The little boy put his hand in Stephen's. "I'm David, sir."

_**1857—David's bedroom**_

_**5**_

His hand scribbled over the paper furiously, and he smiled, as he thought of her. She had been right. It felt good to write everything down. He only hoped this would help them in the future. David stopped and looked at the letter.

_Dear Lina and Caroline,_

_If you are reading this, then you are alive and well. You will in inherent all my worldly good when I pass on, but more than that, as my daughters, there are privileges and secrets that only you are privy to upon your inheritance. But now, dear children, there is something very important that I must tell you, that will change everything for you. You must guard this secret with your life…._

THE END

**_The Missing_**: _Sequel to In Search of Lost Time_—Coming Spring 2006

Timeline For **In Search of Lost Time**

**1840—The Beach**—A boy asks a girl to go sailing with him. She runs on the beach, trying to catch up to his sailboat, as he is high in the sky, on the mast. An accident. He falls. She runs into the ocean, trying to reach him, but can't. She almost drowns.

**1850—Cambridge, Massachusetts**—Suzanne's mother brings her to live with the Lewis'. David and Suzanne talk about love and loving someone you shouldn't. David teaches Suzanne how to read.

**1852—Cambridge, Massachusetts**—Suzanne returns from home and tells David that her stepfather did something bad to her; a few weeks later, they make love

**1853—Cambridge, Massachusetts**—The twins are born; David is in college at Harvard; Suzanne and the girls are living with him; Suzanne is sick and finally shows David; Frederick Ingle, Suzanne's stepfather, comes to the Lewis' home looking for Suzanne. Holland throws him out and Lina and Holland go to warn David. But they find Suzanne with him. They force him to give up the girls.

**May 25, 1857**—Michaela meets Rev. Holland Lewis; Suzanne is committed to the State Lunatic Asylum; Michaela has dinner with the Lewis' and David walks her home. She tells him to write his problems down.

**September 15, 1857**—orphanage—David gives Lina the pocket watch with Michaela's picture in it and promises to come get her one day.

**1857**—David writes Lina and Caroline a letter, leaving them an inheritance.

**September 1858—Boston Hospital**—Josef gives Mike a delicate case, a girl named Caroline. She has syphilis.

**October 1858**—Michaela asks her father about **William Earl's anti-detersive essence** as an experimental drug to use on Caroline

**October 28, 1858**—Michaela decides she's going to use the supplement (above) against her father's wishes; David and Michaela kiss and Suzanne watches; Suzanne hides under Caroline's bed as someone poisons Caroline. David comes back and holds Caroline as she dies in his arms.

**May 1860**—Mike and David come to CS; Abagail tells Sully she is pregnant; S&M "meet," Abagail has a diabetic attack, Michaela teaches Sully how to dance, M&S get caught out in the Cheyenne camp, David and Abby have questions

**November 1860**—David tries to seduce Michaela; Sully asks Michaela not to marry David.

**December 20, 1860**—The Sweetheart's Dance, David enlists in the war, Abby collapses and Michaela delivers her daughter; Abby dies; Sully walks out.

**December 24, 1860**—Christmas Eve—Michaela goes to Sully in the cave, Sully kisses Michaela for the first time, Michaela names Abby, Michaela leaves Sully and tells David she'll wait for him

**January 1, 1863**—Michaela receives a telegram from Boston; her and Abby pack; David is in Fredericksburg with Rose

**January 2, 1863**—Michaela and Abby leave for Boston to see Josef; they meet Robert E; Rose is curious of David's ramblings; Loren goes to Sully and tries to convince him to stop Michaela and Abby from leaving, Abby meets a stranger in the forest, Rose finds a picture of Michaela and a drawn, blonde woman in David's possessions.

**January 3, 1863**—Sully rescues Michaela, Abby, and Robert E from a war party; Abby questions who Sully is; it rains and they sleep under the wagon; Michaela tells Sully she killed someone; Sully believes David is responsible for Caroline's death; they share a blanket

**January 4, 1863**—Michaela and Sully wake up in each other's arms; David deserts the army; Abby asks a lot of awkward questions

**January 8, 1863—The Battle of Springfield**—Abby plays dead to get through the war lines

**January 9, 1863—St. Louis, Missouri**—The wagon crashes and the party has to walk to the train station; Sully has a concussion; Michaela kisses him to keep him awake—Richmond, VA—David gets a train ticket for Boston

**January 10, 1863—Pittsburg**—Abby gets lost on the train and meets David; Michaela almost misses the train; Abby locks Sully and Mike out when she catches them kissing. Sully proposes to Michaela. They say their vows on the back of a train. They hear David on the train. David goes to see Suzanne in the State Lunatic Hospital. S&M walk to her family home. Elizabeth meets Abby, Sully, and Robert E. Michaela and Josef reconcile. Michaela and Sully go with Martha to treat Rose in the middle of the night. **Michaela "faints."**

**January 11, 1863**—Breakfast with the Quinn's; Josef decides they are going to have a ball; Rose tells Michaela that David has syphilis; David plays with Abagail's mind

**January 12, 1863**—The Masquerade Ball; "the engagement ring;" Josef dies, Mike and Sully make love, Abagail is kidnapped by David

**January 13, 1863**—Michaela and Sully come home and realize Josef is dead and Abagail is gone; **Michaela "collapses." **Michaela and Sully go see Holland; they find out about Suzanne and go to the asylum; the shooting—Holland and Suzanne die; David falls into a coma after he promises to take the blame. They leave in the middle of the night.

**February 1863**—Sully and Michaela are on foot across the country, hiding from the authorities. They run into Miss Olive and Grace. One Eye attacks them. Everyone escapes but Sully and Michaela. Michaela is rescued by Cloud Dancing, and she realizes she is pregnant. He takes her back to the Cheyenne camp to hide out. Sully is alive; S&M argue about marriage; they have a Cheyenne wedding;

**September 28, 1863**—**Michaela promises Abagail she'll be with her when she has a baby**; Katie is born; she breathes in Abagail's arms.

**November 29, 1864—The Sand Creek Massacre**—Chivington arrests Michaela; knocks out Sully.

**September 1868**—Katie meets No Harm while he's playing his flute.

**November 27, 1868—Washita**—Katie and No Harm are separated; Katie is allowed to live because she is white; she runs home to CS after Major Elliot threatens her.

**1873**—Abby and Brian go skinny dipping. Brian kisses Abby for the first time. She runs away from him. Colleen tries to comfort her with Michaela's bracelet. Katie climbs in bed with her and comforts her. Abby has a nightmare of the kidnapping, and Katie comforts her. Sully comes back to CS to take the girls to see their mother in jail. **Michaela dreams in jail and hallucinates, seeing David.** Michaela is reunited with Katie, Abby, and Sully. Inad allows Sully to come visit Michaela in the middle of the night. **Michaela breaks down and believes that Sully is David; she remembers what happened the night of the shooting**. Sully and Michaela make love—Stephen is conceived. Abby and Katie sneak out and go to the hospital. They get David to admit that Suzanne was responsible for the shootings as he is hallucinating. David dies.

**1880**—Abby is scared to tell Brian she loves him; No Harm returns and overwhelms Katie, but he is still in danger from Major Joel Elliot. Sully and Michaela agree to protect him for her. They have a dance at home. **As Michaela is watching K&N, she is overwhelmed by sadness and misses Sully.** Abby pouts and Sully agrees to take her to the dance. Abby sees Brian with Sarah. She and Sully talk about her mother. Brian and Abby argue, and he finally asks her to marry him. She eventually says yes.

**November 5, 1883**—Abby is pregnant while Brian is away; No Harm proposes to Katie; Sully takes Abby home and he feels the baby; she wants to name it Hanna; The Major comes to the clinic looking for Katie; He forces Michaela and Stephen to go back to the Homestead; Abby lies and says she's Katie, No Harm and Katie come home; No Harm runs; Katie is taken inside and beaten; the family is held hostage; Katie goes after No Harm; He is not there; she jumps over the waterfall; Abby goes into labor after S&M have left with Katie. Stephen is the only one there with her. Brian comes back and goes after S&M. He learns that Katie is dead; S&M rush home; Abby died in childbirth. **Michaela breaks down and jumps out of her bedroom window**.

**1890**—Heavy tension between Sully and Michaela as she can't remember him but remembers her father. He blows up and breaks her grandfather clock. Later that evening, she has a nightmare about running towards a boat and not reaching it, and she goes to Sully. They make up and make love.

**1893—The New York Public Library**—Two strangers meet. Lina and Stephen Sully. They enlist each other's help, are innately connected, Stephen tells Lina the story of his family. Lina trusts him, and she shows him her scars. They make love. Stephen sees her broken watch and sees a picture of his mother. They realize that Lina is David's daughter. Lina leaves Stephen.

**1900—Boston—November 6**—Brian is on a train to Boston. Two little girls interrupt his thoughts. He is startled when he recognizes their mother's voice. It is Katie. He convinces her to come back to Boston with him. Michaela is having dreams, but Sully is being distant. She tells him she wants to know everything. He's scared. He takes her to the beach and tells her everything. She has no emotional connection to anything. He is upset. She throws a picture of her in the fireplace. **She has a breakthrough—a childhood memory is unrepressed—re:1840**. **Sully doesn't remember it.** The disconnection is still there despite her recovery, but they are together. Katie is reunited with her parents and Stephen. A little boy named David comes looking for Dr. Sully.

**Historical research:**

**Syphilis**

**Mercury**, applied as an ointment to syphilitic lesions, is the earliest known chemical treatment for syphilis. As early as the late-fifteenth century, mercury was administered both topically and orally, and remained the treatment of choice for more than three centuries.

In the mid-nineteenth century, mercury was still widely used by trained physicians. At the same time, entrepreneurial "doctors" distributed misinformation about syphilis and marketed fantastic remedies for the disease. For example, in **1858 William Earl** claimed that treatment with mercury could be replaced by his "new" method: an **"ANTI DETERSIVE ESSENCE**" that effected "a complete and radical cure" without the use of "deleterious drugs or chemicals." Such fantastic claims went unchallenged in part because in Victorian society, attitudes toward sexuality and the human body precluded open discussion of venereal disease. This is the treatment that Michaela tried to use on Caroline. In truth, the "medication" would have had absolutely no affect on Caroline, so there is no way Michaela could have been responsible for her death. In truth, with syphilis or any of STD in the 19th century, the mercury treatment, coming in the form of either pastes, pills, and sometimes liquid, would either cure the patient in the **primary or secondary stage of syphilis (example is Lina)**, or the **patient would further develop the disease (Tertiary syphilis), live, but lose mental capacities and often functioning organs (example is David, Frederick, Suzanne, and Caroline). **Although if Caroline hadn't been poisoned, I believe she would have died from the disease since she was so young.

The reason why I had Lina complain about the medication was because of the severe affect it had on her body. Often the mercury was just as harmful as the disease, hence her scars on her chest later in life: mercury was rubbed on, applied to the body in plasters, and swallowed in pills. Since it is toxic to the bacteria Treponema, it was sometimes curative in the early stages of the disease. However, for use in later phases, the dose had to be so great that it was extremely toxic to human tissue as well. Side effects included profuse salivation, loosening of teeth, diarrhea, anemia, mental changes and kidney damage, which often led to death. These types of treatment prompted Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., well-known physician and author, to state**, "I firmly believe that if the whole materia medica, as now used, could be sunk to the bottom of the sea, it would be all the better for mankind ó and all the worse for the fishes."** (Address before the Massachusetts Medical Society, Boston, May 30, 1860).

**The Sand Creek Massacre**

I used **John M. Chivington's deposition** after the Massacre to define his character in this story. He sought political office in Colorado and saw ridding the Indian population as a way to give himself stature and clout. I then deducted that if he could be so callous about killing the Indians, bringing Michaela in for a murder she did not commit would simply be another notch on his belt, so to speak. The deposition is also full of lies to protect himself. A very interesting read.

**Washita**

Major Joel Elliot was actually at Washita, and most of the soldiers were part of his detachment. But he was killed at the battle. I decided to use him as a major foil for Katie in that sense, because this story deals with so many characters that died that could have lived longer if given more time. i.e. Charlotte, Abby (a.k.a. Hanna), No Harm, etc.

**Michaela's Breakdown**

It was caused by a **repressed childhood memory**. Often, when an event is repressed, it affects how one acts for the rest of one's life. I have marked certain events in the timeline showing her memory deterioration over time. The memory loss, when she thought Sully was David, etc. was caused by **disassociation**, as she is she too close to her repressed memory of not "reaching happiness."

Sources:

http/www.niaid.nih.gov/factsheets/stdsyph. 


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